I've been raising kids for 22 years. That's half my life. And I think I've done a pretty good job so far. <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif" border="0"> So naturally, I wondered if the Love and Logic book could teach me anything that I didn't already know. Well of course the answer is yes, and recently, I've been seeing some very positive results while utilizing this parenting style with my 14 year old son, Mason.
Those of you who have teenagers, or who have grown children will understand how difficult the middle school age is. It's as if our kids lose every single ounce of intelligence they ever had, and they become these alien creatures that you don't even recognize. LOL Add a brother with CF, a few other stressful family situations, and boy do you have a recipe for disaster!
Mason stopped doing his school work. He stopped doing his chores without MULTIPLE reminders. He "forgot" everything that he was asked to do. At one point, I thought I'd lose my mind if I heard him say "I forgot" again. Now, it would have been very easy to excuse this behavior, because believe me, this young man has been under some horrific stress over the last 6 months, as has our entire family. But that wouldn't do Mason any good. I stopped reminding Mason about his chores. I allowed him ample time to get them done, and then I did them myself. When he came to me and asked if he could go to a friends house, I said, "Oh, I'm too tired to take you. I've had extra chores to do today."
I stopped hounding him about his grades, and getting his homework finished. When he said he wanted to participate in a school related activity, I said, "Well that's really sad, because you haven't kept your grades up, so you aren't eligible to participate."
These interactions between us went on for a few weeks. Then it happened. He started bringing homework home, and his grades started to improve. He started doing his chores as soon as he got home. He CLEANED HIS ROOM PEOPLE!! LOL I cannot tell you how nice it is to see these positive results. I've been able to get Mason to do these things without a fight. Yes, I said without a fight! The best part is that he feels good about his accomplishments. J
Thank you, Dr. Cline & Lisa Greene, for helping this old dog to learn a few new tricks.
Stacey
Those of you who have teenagers, or who have grown children will understand how difficult the middle school age is. It's as if our kids lose every single ounce of intelligence they ever had, and they become these alien creatures that you don't even recognize. LOL Add a brother with CF, a few other stressful family situations, and boy do you have a recipe for disaster!
Mason stopped doing his school work. He stopped doing his chores without MULTIPLE reminders. He "forgot" everything that he was asked to do. At one point, I thought I'd lose my mind if I heard him say "I forgot" again. Now, it would have been very easy to excuse this behavior, because believe me, this young man has been under some horrific stress over the last 6 months, as has our entire family. But that wouldn't do Mason any good. I stopped reminding Mason about his chores. I allowed him ample time to get them done, and then I did them myself. When he came to me and asked if he could go to a friends house, I said, "Oh, I'm too tired to take you. I've had extra chores to do today."
I stopped hounding him about his grades, and getting his homework finished. When he said he wanted to participate in a school related activity, I said, "Well that's really sad, because you haven't kept your grades up, so you aren't eligible to participate."
These interactions between us went on for a few weeks. Then it happened. He started bringing homework home, and his grades started to improve. He started doing his chores as soon as he got home. He CLEANED HIS ROOM PEOPLE!! LOL I cannot tell you how nice it is to see these positive results. I've been able to get Mason to do these things without a fight. Yes, I said without a fight! The best part is that he feels good about his accomplishments. J
Thank you, Dr. Cline & Lisa Greene, for helping this old dog to learn a few new tricks.
Stacey