During my last checkup the topic of depression came in. My doctor wanted to be sure that I was ok mentally/emotionally. She asked if I thought I needed antidepressants. I dont think at this point I do or at least not until today. I have bad days, absolutely, as many others do. I have a worst time during the change of Fall to Winter, but nothing I dont think I cant handle. I asked my doctor if she thought I was crazy. She said no, but its highly unusual for someone to not need assistance when dealing with a chronic illness. Whether it just be counseling to vent or actual meds to cope. I told her that I was OK. She asked me how I come to that conclusion. I said because I can still laugh. She said & put on the smile for everyone also? I said yes. She said that way no one really knows how I am hurting or fighting or truly feeling. I dont want others to take on the burden of my feelings when I already have the actual CF factor as a "burden". So today I was watching a show that made me rethink this office visit. Now I am not sure if I need help. I think I have my act together, but part of me is saying that its denial. Am I starting to talk myself into the fact that I need help or do I really. I dont mean to ramble, but right now I feel like I have the Devil on one shoulder (depression) and an Angel on the other (actually dealing with things ok) & they are arguing with each other. Anyone dealt with this lately?
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an alternative browser.
You should upgrade or use an alternative browser.
Putting on my Happy Face
- Thread starter JazzysMom
- Start date
I laugh and smile alot. Even when I'm sad. I try very hard not to burden others with my disease. With that I had a breakdown or almost, I guess. It was like 2 weeks straight crying. Horrible. I am on lexapro now. Because I know not only do I need help with my emotions physically and mentally. I know now that I cant keep everything inside. I rely on 3 people for my really bad days. Which are getting fewer and far between now. This is the 3rd antidepressant I'v tried. Because some others made me groggy. This one just makes me feel like I used too before diagnosis. Normal I guess. Dont feel like if you try anything, whether its couseling, meds or whatever that your less of a person. Its just like your O2. sometimes we just need a tool to help with all our decisions and routines we put our bodies through that the average person does not put theirselves through. We have to do alot more along with all the normal everyday things. It gets hectic. Becky
thefrogprincess
New member
This is what I hate....If your disease is a "burden" to others then that's there problem not yours! I've broken up with or been dumped by guys who couldn't handle it, and I'm better for it! Find someone who isn't burdened and is a good listener. That's all the counceling I need. And as far as antidepressants go, unless you are so depressed that you can't deal with everyday life, don't want to go out or see people, or are considering suicide then I say that you probably don't need them. Everyone gets sad, that's life.
This is exactly my point. I am not suicidal. Yes I have bad days. Yes I have good days. My personality has always been the happy face & smile no matter what life dealt me. During my Dads death, nephews death. Heck even a divorce. Did I cry when I wasnt smiling....absolutely. So I think I am ok. I have a lot on my plate, but I truly dont think its any more than I can handle!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thanks for the wakeup, Frogprincess!
lovingBenandCambree
New member
I think we all have bad days. It is a part of life and a part of feeling. If you didn't have bad days and just let everything roll off your back then I think you would have a problem. I am a lot like you. Always with a smile even when I am hurting or sick. But that doesn't mean that it's depression, that is just how I deal with things and it makes things a lot easier. I have always told my family, I can either choose to have a good attitude about it or a bad attitude. The choice lies with me and either way it doesn't change the circumstance. I just think going around with a bad attitude makes everything seem that much worse. I also think sometimes Drs are too pushy with drugs and antidepressants can be overprescribed. I know that antidepressents help some people but I also know that if you can get through things on your own without the help of a drug then you should. I know that I have bad days but after a few minutes, a few hours, or maybe even a day I let it go and get back to my life. If you are unable to do that, can't get out of bed, and may have bad feelings of hurting yourself or hurting others then I think you need to seek treatment. Don't let anyone think that you are not okay just because you have an illness. Good luck with everything. I have read a lot of your posts and think you have great insight.
Emilee with 2 E's
Emilee with 2 E's
lovingBenandCambree
New member
I think we all have bad days. It is a part of life and a part of feeling. If you didn't have bad days and just let everything roll off your back then I think you would have a problem. I am a lot like you. Always with a smile even when I am hurting or sick. But that doesn't mean that it's depression, that is just how I deal with things and it makes things a lot easier. I have always told my family, I can either choose to have a good attitude about it or a bad attitude. The choice lies with me and either way it doesn't change the circumstance. I just think going around with a bad attitude makes everything seem that much worse. I also think sometimes Drs are too pushy with drugs and antidepressants can be overprescribed. I know that antidepressents help some people but I also know that if you can get through things on your own without the help of a drug then you should. I know that I have bad days but after a few minutes, a few hours, or maybe even a day I let it go and get back to my life. If you are unable to do that, can't get out of bed, and may have bad feelings of hurting yourself or hurting others then I think you need to seek treatment. Don't let anyone think that you are not okay just because you have an illness. Good luck with everything. I have read a lot of your posts and think you have great insight.
Emilee with 2 E's
Emilee with 2 E's
lovingBenandCambree
New member
sorry I didn't mean to pu that on their twice.<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-blush.gif" border="0">
Emilee with 2 e's
Emilee with 2 e's
I think that is exactly what I do. If I act like things are the end of the world then it will be worse. If I "suck it up" & make the best of it then things seem to go easier. There are days that I just cry, but yet when I cry; I feel better. There are days that i dont shed a tear. My oldest sister went through some heart problems awhile back & was really stressed. She asked how I do it everyday. I told her I dont have a choice. The CF isnt going away. I always took pride in the fact that I dont let CF run my life, I run the CF. Well that isnt quite as true anymore, but there still is more to my life than CF!
JenniferNJ
New member
I love this topic.. I bet we all could be called the Queens and Kings of Happy Face. I usually am pretty happy though and don't have to fake it, what makes me unhappy and drained is having to explain to everyone that I am okay ... I spend so much time doing that, that it makes me drained and unhappy. But I too, since I was a small child have always worn a happy face. I didn't ever want anyone to have any of my problems on them not even my parents.
I wish that I would be more open about how I feel without worrying that I am going to upset someone, as it stands right now, if I share bad news or sad news with someone even if it is for one minute, I spend the next hour saying how fine I am with it. I am not really sure that that is expected of me but that seems to be the role I play... I am hoping to change that in the near future though
Jennifer
I wish that I would be more open about how I feel without worrying that I am going to upset someone, as it stands right now, if I share bad news or sad news with someone even if it is for one minute, I spend the next hour saying how fine I am with it. I am not really sure that that is expected of me but that seems to be the role I play... I am hoping to change that in the near future though
Jennifer
Hi everyone. I honestly didnt mean to make me sound like I couldnt cope. I had to laugh when I seen some of your posts. I reread my post and I sound kind of pathetic. I also have alot on my plate and feel I cope very well. Never did I say my relationship was bad or he doesn't listen. In fact he's my very best friend, I say anything and everything to him. (Brian). I do choose who I speak to about what because as you all must know some family can take stuff, some cant. I dont have alot of bad days. I'm a happy person generally. And rarely get angry. I joke, laugh and giggle most of the day. But when I'm sad. I'm really sad. I did hide alot of feelings. I never said they were all of CF. I am on anti depressants but don't think its a bad thing. I also don't think you have to be suicidal to take them. That is just a really stupid statement to make. NOONE should have to get to that point to take an antidepressant. What you probly don't know about me is I havent had as long to deal with this disease as most of you have. I have only been diagnosed for 5 yrs. I'm 35. So yes it is easier for you. But I had an absolute life change. Does that make it bad. No. Am I blaming anyone. No. I deal with my diagnosis, I was happy and relieved with my diagnosis. I knew there was something wrong. But didn't know what it was. It is not uncommon for people to be on antidepressants with a terminal disease. Why is that hard to understand. Espeically when they are a late diagnosis. Thanks. Becky
I think everyone, including the doctor you spoke with puts a smile on their faces. Who wants to be seen as a downer. I think of my brother & sister who do not have CF, they usually put a smile on their faces and if they have problems, they share those too.
Everyone has good & bad days, I cry at the drop of a hat over some TV show, get teary eyed over a touching email, etc but I don't think I'm abnormal, just sensitive.
If it seems that you have more down days then good days, are sleeping alot to escape your problems, having problems coping every day and other feelings described here, then by all means, try to get some help, but if you feel that you're clicking along OK and enjoying life, then I say continue on!<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif" border="0">
Everyone has good & bad days, I cry at the drop of a hat over some TV show, get teary eyed over a touching email, etc but I don't think I'm abnormal, just sensitive.
If it seems that you have more down days then good days, are sleeping alot to escape your problems, having problems coping every day and other feelings described here, then by all means, try to get some help, but if you feel that you're clicking along OK and enjoying life, then I say continue on!<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif" border="0">