During my last checkup the topic of depression came in. My doctor wanted to be sure that I was ok mentally/emotionally. She asked if I thought I needed antidepressants. I dont think at this point I do or at least not until today. I have bad days, absolutely, as many others do. I have a worst time during the change of Fall to Winter, but nothing I dont think I cant handle. I asked my doctor if she thought I was crazy. She said no, but its highly unusual for someone to not need assistance when dealing with a chronic illness. Whether it just be counseling to vent or actual meds to cope. I told her that I was OK. She asked me how I come to that conclusion. I said because I can still laugh. She said & put on the smile for everyone also? I said yes. She said that way no one really knows how I am hurting or fighting or truly feeling. I dont want others to take on the burden of my feelings when I already have the actual CF factor as a "burden". So today I was watching a show that made me rethink this office visit. Now I am not sure if I need help. I think I have my act together, but part of me is saying that its denial. Am I starting to talk myself into the fact that I need help or do I really. I dont mean to ramble, but right now I feel like I have the Devil on one shoulder (depression) and an Angel on the other (actually dealing with things ok) & they are arguing with each other. Anyone dealt with this lately?