Question about your own Mortality

[Emily65Roses]

Rose, that's terrible. We've all had projects like that, but any teacher that has ever given me one like that, if I told him/her I wasn't comfortable doing it because I wouldn't be alive that far ahead (or whatever), they'd let me do something different. Your teacher sounds like an arrogant know-it-all prick. I hate teachers that don't know sh*t and think they do.

 

[thelizardqueen]

I don't deal with my own mortality well. I'm always dwelling on the fact that I won't live to be 50 or 60. Its always been a constant thought in my life. I don't get depressed about it usually, but its more like a constant reminder that I just won't get old. My friends joke aboout living in retirement homes and having to get their diapers changed, etc. And I sit there knowing I'll never have to deal with that. My boyfriend has a friend who is very overweight. His doctor has told him that if he doesn't start to lose weight, he could get diabetes or have a stroke or heart attack and die. This friend also has very high blood pressure. The doc has basically told him that if he doesn't start doing something about it like exercising or something, that he will die young. This friend has told my bf that he has this romantic notion of dieing young. That he's perfectly content with dieing young. I just couldn't believe my ears when my bf told me this, as all my life I have been fighting to live, fighting to get old. How can this friend be so flippant when it comes to dieing young, whereas I'm always trying to fight it? It really makes me question mortality, when a healthy person to begin with has so little regard for life and could care less that they may die young. Like what's the point I wonder sometimes? Its like this friend could easily do something to lenghten his life, but he chooses not to, whereas I'm doing everything possible to lenghten mine, but I know I won't be able to do it to the extent he could. Healthy people take life for granted too much sometimes I think.

 

[JennifersHope]

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>thelizardqueen</b></i>

The doc has basically told him that if he doesn't start doing something about it like exercising or something, that he will die young. This friend has told my bf that he has this romantic notion of dieing young. That he's perfectly content with dieing young. I just couldn't believe my ears when my bf told me this, as all my life I have been fighting to live, fighting to get old. How can this friend be so flippant when it comes to dieing young, whereas I'm always trying to fight it?








Liz my thought on that is that he has passive suicidal ideations.. People who feel like they don't care if they die young, or say things like " I don't care if something happens to me" usually are depressed or really struggling with their lives. I was thinking from the things that you are saying like he is very overweight etc, that he probably has a lot of emotional/social issues etc and that is probably why he feels that way.

I first learned about this passive suicidal ideations in nursing school and when I heard it, it made me start to cry because at the time, I would always say things like I don't care if I die early, I am not wanting to suffer with this crap forever, I would say things like I don't care if I don't wake up tomorrow, etc. It was because I was sick of life being the way it was, not really romantically in love with death. In


I wonder if he is going through the same thing? I don't know. I know I still go through periods of hating my life, ie the things I have to deal with so much that I say things similiar.

Jennifer

 

[letsrockcfem]

Wow..I've been thinking a lot about this stuff lately. I don't ever really put an age on how long I'm going to live but I have a hard time with being dead. Sometimes when lying in bed I have a little freakout about how I am not going to be alive one day..I have to like get up, take a lap around the house and then get a drink. It passes soon after that but it just scares the crap out of me. I've been pretty darn good about it lately, totally not even thinking about it.
BUT I have a friend, who is in my band who is totally killing me!! She is 26 right, very healthy, athletic, has a real job, always traveling etc....but she is always complaining about something hurting or her not feeling well. I mean her shoulder has been hurting for months now, so she had an mri, ct scan and the tests show nothing...her knee hurts (negative tests), she has some sternum thing. I am the last person she needs to be complaining about this stuff to.
One day we were in Chicago and she's like, gosh why do I have to go through all this?I'm only 25..so I said something like dude you are so healthy! so she says "you'r not the one living inside of a 95 year olds body.." I bit my tongue so hard but let somthing slip out and then insisted we not talk aboutit. Lately she has had the Mexican Flu (its been a week) and just complaining about that and her back, knee, you say it she's got it. I've been biting my tongue so hard..I just can't get over it. My friends are starting to get mad because they know that it kinda hurts me to hear her say this stuff and not even think of yeah you have CYSTIC FIBROSIS!! Not that I want any pitty at all but I just had to get this off my chest and see if you have any friends like this. Sometimes it's like we accomodate around her, like she doesn't have to move any equiptment or load in but it always ends up me carrying so much and I am getting to the point where I can't take it.
Gosh...sorry for the rant!!
em

 

[thelizardqueen]

Jennifer - wow, I never thought of that. I know that he does have his own sort of problems, like he hates his job, ne figures he's going to live alone for the rest of his life, etc. But it just bothers me that some people out there give up before they even start to fight you know.

 

[littledebbie]

Hmm this happens to me..what do i do...well uhmm i do a few
things..:<br>
I wallow sometimes until I get sick of listening to me cry etc.
 Sometimes i help myself to a nice bottle of wine, sometimes i
write down crazy junk in my journal or write a bad never to be seen
again song.  Sometimes I go get a pedicure and sometimes...oh
come on you knew it was coming...sometimes I go BUY
SHOES!I do not get so bothered by the dying not
getting old part, it's the things I will miss that makes me sad.
 i will not see my niece get married or my nephew go off to
college.  i won't get to see the neat people they turn out to
be.  What if they don't remember me?  What if they don't
know how much I loved them?  What if I don't meet someone
special for me to love before i die?  Do I not get to
experience that?  I have come to acknowledge there are a lot
of things i won't get to do but that was is still iffy, I'm still
holding out hope, but i do wonder.  the idea of missing out on
that makes me sad.  Ughh, I don't know, it just sort
of is a suckfest.  hence, the pedicures and shoes.  Lifes
simple pleasures.  Frivolous and fun.  The moods pass, i
try to count blessings when it hits, have my own place, have great
family, have done some fun things.  But sometimes it's just
good to cry, we're entitled once in a while.  anyhoo, that's
me and my mortality melodrama. On the old lady
thing, I used to let comments like that slip but you know now i
feel  kind of like it's a bit my job to put people politely
back in place.  I don't know when we all got so open to
telling others about what they should be grateful for or how they
should live their life.  They don't know me and it's rude to
comment on someone else's person and truly I don't even care if you
meant well.  You say stuff like that to me and I'll tell you
what's up.  I'm not looking for pity I'm looking for some tact
and common sense.  

 

[Mockingbird]

Jennifer, I remember you posting you were heartened on the religion board recently, so I hope this prayer/psalm will do the same.

<a target=_blank class=ftalternatingbarlinklarge href="http://forums.cysticfibrosis.com/messageview.cfm?catid=19&threadid=9853&enterthread=y">http://forums.cysticfibrosis.c...did=9853&enterthread=y</a>

 

[JennifersHope]

Thanks for posting that scripture. I don't remember posting on there, but sometimes my memory is shot so if you say I did I did.

I like reading Psalms a lot, though I don't read the bible anywhere as much as I used to, being that for ME, I do believe in the bible, it would probably bring me comfort to go back to doing that.

Thanks again, I really appreciate everyones posts, I find it so helpful to read other ppl's experience


Jennifer