I tried to quit about a month ago, but ended up with a Mastitis infection, even after "cycling down". I took it as a sign, LOL. It was also very difficult though, I cried and cried because I felt like the worst mother. I only feed on the breast on the weekends and occasionally on week nights (when someone's fussy, when I've had a hard day...), but still, the bond is there and it's comforting to know that I can calm my children down by that, and it's also relaxing for me. Not sure what about it is so relaxing, but it just is. It's hard to give that up. And I feel even worse for wanting to give it up when I'm someone who can produce enough milk for 3 babies. Some mothers can't even do that for one...I feel like I'm throwing away a gift (I hope that makes sense).
But it's wearing on me physically, and it's keeping me from helping mark at night, and sometimes when I have to pump I have screaming babies because I can't tend to them and pump and the lack of helping Mark at night is affecting his health. So I think it's best for both of us. Formula will be expensive, but WIC will help a bit. We started introducing formula mixed in a bit ago to see how they did and they do wonderfully and don't seem to mind it (we've been trying half and half) so at least that will be easy.
Thanks for the prayers and support. I'll keep you all posted on Mark. He hasn't been sick like this in quite a few years (yes, we know how blessed we are!) so it's rather scary for me (as I'm sure it is for him to). I just want to do "The right things" for him, but not too much or step on his toes or anything.
Thank you!
