LisaGreene
New member
Hi All,
Followng is a short article about how to guide our kids to solve their own problems in a loving way. Try the 5 steps on problems they bring you- it really works! Dr. Cline will be discussing this live on BlogTalk on April 1 if you are interested in joining us. Let me know if you have any questions. Cheers! Lisa
<i>What's In It for You?! A Blog for Parents of Children with Health Issues </i>by Foster W. Cline MD and Lisa C. Greene
<b>Raise a Problem Solver</b>
Children can have problems, children can cause problems, and some would say children are a problem. So it only makes sense then, to turn them into Problem Solvers. Some children stress their parents with life-threatening problems occurring around rock climbing or motorcycles and other extreme sports. But parents of children with health issues like diabetes, cystic fibrosis, or severe allergies are faced with their child's life threatening problems every day; problems that somebody has to solve. And isn't it sweet when the kids solve 'em instead of you? You get to relax and not be stressed out. And that's what's in it for you!
Living with a serious medical condition provides a unique parenting opportunity to raise children who problem solve effectively, grow through their experiences and cope well with difficulty. A parent's job is to encourage and facilitate this learning. That learning is not facilitated when parents give the answers, take over and fix the problem, and/or become frustrated and angry about the behavior.
Effective parenting is neither permissive nor demanding; it is both loving and firm. Correct parenting can be a little scary, because thoughtful risks must be taken when children are allowed to solve their own problems. But if the learning takes place when the children are young, the risks are often not so expensive. Parenting Children with Health Issues emphasizes the Love and Logic curriculum that guides children to solve a problem by using these five simple steps:
Step 1. When a child presents a problem, express curiosity, interest and empathy: "Bummer. I bet that hurt your...." (Tummy, feelings, grade, etc)
Step 2. Send the power message: "What do you think you'll do?"
Step 3. Offer choices: "Would you like to hear what other kids have tried?"
Step 4. Have the child state the consequences: "What might happen if you...?"
Step 5. Give the child permission and the responsibility to either solve or not solve the problem: "Good luck sweetheart. Let me know how it goes."
Following these steps, rather than lecturing, ranting, raving and rescuing will encourage your children to become accomplished problem solvers and good decision-makers.
Wise parents know they won't always be around to rescue or advise their kids when they face life altering decisions like whether to comply with their medical requirements or get into a car with drunken friends. So raise a problem solver!
And that's what's in it for you!
********
This material is from the book <i>Parenting Children with Health Issues: Essential Tools, Tips and Tactics for Raising Kids with Chronic Illness, Medical Conditions and Special Healthcare Needs</i> by Foster W. Cline, M.D child psyshiatrist and co-founder of Love and Logic (www.loveandlogic.com) and Lisa C. Greene, mother of two children with cystic fibrosis. For more information, visit www.ParentingChildrenWithHealthIssues.com.
Followng is a short article about how to guide our kids to solve their own problems in a loving way. Try the 5 steps on problems they bring you- it really works! Dr. Cline will be discussing this live on BlogTalk on April 1 if you are interested in joining us. Let me know if you have any questions. Cheers! Lisa
<i>What's In It for You?! A Blog for Parents of Children with Health Issues </i>by Foster W. Cline MD and Lisa C. Greene
<b>Raise a Problem Solver</b>
Children can have problems, children can cause problems, and some would say children are a problem. So it only makes sense then, to turn them into Problem Solvers. Some children stress their parents with life-threatening problems occurring around rock climbing or motorcycles and other extreme sports. But parents of children with health issues like diabetes, cystic fibrosis, or severe allergies are faced with their child's life threatening problems every day; problems that somebody has to solve. And isn't it sweet when the kids solve 'em instead of you? You get to relax and not be stressed out. And that's what's in it for you!
Living with a serious medical condition provides a unique parenting opportunity to raise children who problem solve effectively, grow through their experiences and cope well with difficulty. A parent's job is to encourage and facilitate this learning. That learning is not facilitated when parents give the answers, take over and fix the problem, and/or become frustrated and angry about the behavior.
Effective parenting is neither permissive nor demanding; it is both loving and firm. Correct parenting can be a little scary, because thoughtful risks must be taken when children are allowed to solve their own problems. But if the learning takes place when the children are young, the risks are often not so expensive. Parenting Children with Health Issues emphasizes the Love and Logic curriculum that guides children to solve a problem by using these five simple steps:
Step 1. When a child presents a problem, express curiosity, interest and empathy: "Bummer. I bet that hurt your...." (Tummy, feelings, grade, etc)
Step 2. Send the power message: "What do you think you'll do?"
Step 3. Offer choices: "Would you like to hear what other kids have tried?"
Step 4. Have the child state the consequences: "What might happen if you...?"
Step 5. Give the child permission and the responsibility to either solve or not solve the problem: "Good luck sweetheart. Let me know how it goes."
Following these steps, rather than lecturing, ranting, raving and rescuing will encourage your children to become accomplished problem solvers and good decision-makers.
Wise parents know they won't always be around to rescue or advise their kids when they face life altering decisions like whether to comply with their medical requirements or get into a car with drunken friends. So raise a problem solver!
And that's what's in it for you!
********
This material is from the book <i>Parenting Children with Health Issues: Essential Tools, Tips and Tactics for Raising Kids with Chronic Illness, Medical Conditions and Special Healthcare Needs</i> by Foster W. Cline, M.D child psyshiatrist and co-founder of Love and Logic (www.loveandlogic.com) and Lisa C. Greene, mother of two children with cystic fibrosis. For more information, visit www.ParentingChildrenWithHealthIssues.com.
