ready for kidergarten??

[anonymous]

Hi I was wondering if anyone delayed kindergarten?
My son is 4 birthbay aug. our school cut off is sept, My gut feeling is that he is not ready.
He is very small and has some fine motor dalay but is very smart.
kids in school pick him up I guess because they can it seems to realy bug him, I dont think he will ever be the tallest but I dont want him to be picked on. one more question what is a good way for a child to explain medical condition CF to his young friends without being overwelming.

thankx, Maggi

 

[CFHockeyMom]

Hi Maggi,

Sean too is an Aug. B-day and at the time went to a school with a Sept 1st cut off. When it came time for Kindergarten his school recommended that he try Begindergarten instead for the very reasons you cited (i.e. small, socially not ready, fine motor skills, etc) in spite of the fact that he is quite smart. My mother (an elementary teacher) felt that he was ready and that in the areas he was "behind" he would catch up in no time. My husband felt that Kindergarten wasn't the time to hold Sean back. After all, there could be a time later in his education that he may have to miss too much school and actually need to repeat a grade. Also, many school districts (including the one we're in now) have cut-off dates in November/December. So we figured we'd give it a whirl. If it went poorly, he could always to Kindergarten again. All went well and Sean did and is doing just fine. Yes, he's usually one of the youngest in his class and he's usually one of the smallest but somebody's got to do it, why not him <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">

Sean has always been very open about his CF and I think that helps prevent any "picking on". Every year we have to educate the teacher but most of the kids know the routine.

 

[Allie]

Does your school have a placement test done for kindergarten? We had Ahava tested since she is quite small for her age, and they actually said she would be able to skip a grade. I've decided not to, but I think holding back an intelligent child for social reasons is a mistake, and can lead to intense boredom and not living up to their full potential. Granted, this is only my opinion, but there it is. I say put him in kindergarten. Kids will always get picked on for a variety of reasons. I was, and I wasn't the smallest in class.

As far as the Cf thing, let them know what they need to. A little education for a 5 year old isn't bad. He can show them his treatment stuff and things if they are really curious. I think it'll go much easier than you think.

 

[anonymous]

Both of my dss were young for their grade. Oldest ds started K in one state. We moved the summer between K and 1st grade and the new district's cut off was 1 month BEFORE ds's b-day. He is and has always been the youngest in his class. He also had fine motor difficulties and was small for age but academically bright. The first few years were rough socially but once he found his niche, he did really well. He's now in HS, all honors classes, doing well. The only issue now is that some of his friends who are freshmen will actually receive their drivers license at the same time as or even right before ds. It doesn't seem to bother him.

Youngest ds's b-day was 2 weeks before the cut off date. This ds has had more health problems than older ds and is smaller (5%) than older ds was. He is always the smallest and one of the youngest, if not youngest. Like older ds, he, too had some fine motor difficulties but was bright. He's very social and has not encountered any problems at school (2nd grade.) He's in the gifted pull out class but is bored to tears with the math curriculum (no acceleration in math at our school.) Like oldest ds, I couldn't imagine him being in the lower grade without significant problems.

Funny thing, my dd's b-day falls right in the middle of the school calendar. I thought we'd be in great shape with her but I actually worry MORE about her than her brothers. Like both of them, she too, has fine motor and even some mild gross motor difficulties. Although she's doing well in school, she's not at the same level her brothers were at that age. If her b-day were close to the cut-off like the boys, I am sure I would have held her back. Size wise she's right on target with the other kids.

My suggestion is to look at the whole picture. Forget about just the size because someone has to be the smallest... (Yes, that's easier said than done, I know.) If your ds is academically ready and is a fairly social kid, he'll probably be ok. If, however, he's on the edge of being ready in terms of social readiness AND academic readiness, I'd consider holding him back. Also, can you make a decision closer to the fall? Children change so much so quickly, he may well be ready by then. Good luck!

 

[anonymous]

Well this is a real hot topic in our house lately! Chrissy (4 w/CF) will be 5 next November, so she can attend kindergarten at the same school as her older sister (6 no CF). So I registered her for the fall. The problem is, health-wise, if school were to start next week, I would not feel comfortable sending her.

She has frequent digestive discomfort (moderate to severe), very prone to intestinal blockages (which result in sudden severe pain and a trip to the ER), gets a lot of lung infections (especially after colds so germs are a concern), has a congested "base line" CF cough (and coughs stuff up) etc. She often gets into coughing/gagging fits with running around.

She also has difficulty telling me about her tummy aches until it gets really bad cuz she know it often results in a trip to the dr. or hospital, so she tries to "hide" it (without much success) until it gets really bad. She is very, very shy and would NOT tell a teacher she wasn't feeling well until she couldn't hide it anymore. She can't swallow her enzyme capsules whole yet, so whoever gives them to her would have to break them open onto her standard baby applesauce, which I'm sure would stand out to her classmates as weird. Then there is the whole nebulizer/ chest physio routine that would need to be done in the morning (I have enough trouble getting my healthy 6 yr old ready and out the door, and I usually do Chrissy's morning routine after we drop Claire off at school).

I don't know, I know I am very protective of her, but honestly her overalll health has DECLINED over the 4 years that we've had her and I just don't feel comfortable sending her to school yet knowing she has frequent unpredictable digestive discomfort (and poops a lot still) and other issues. It doesn't feel right at this point, though I have registered her to keep the option open in the fall. I am honestly thinking of homeschooling her with a good curriculum, and making sure she has adequate social contacts etc. And then just assessing things as we go along to see if school would be best for her etc.

Anyone else facing this kind of dilemma?

 

[anonymous]

Sophia is turning five in late July. We decided that next year she will attend Kindergarten at her preschool, then Kindergarten again at the public school the following year. I am not sure what I would do if she didn't have cf however. She does fine with her peers. She is just on the smaller side, and it could be that she is 9 months or so younger than a lot of them too. The trend in our area is to also hold late summer birthdays back. I think it can only help her in the long run. If school is a bit easier that is great. I also have heard that some cfers tend to mature a little bit later. Holding Sophia back will only help in this regards. Also, a bit selfishly, it keeps her here at home for one more year. I know insurance is a big deal when they go off their own and one more year under our care hopefully will be beneficial. Jack has an August 25 birthday and from day one I was planning on holding him back.
Sharon, mom of Sophia, 4 and Jack, 2 both with cf

 

[JazzysMom]

My daughter (non CF) was ready for school by 3.....she started Pre K when she was 4. She is VERY tall for her age which will cause a problem at some point since she is ALWAYS the tallest in class & even tho people tell me her height is good with her being a girl I think it will be harder then if she was a boy....althought I dont know that for sure since I am short LOL! Anyway my point is....if your child is ready socially & academically the rest will fall into place. Physically if a child is small it usually will rectify itself to a certain point. Motor skills can be worked on & assistance for that can be obtained thru O/T in the school. As far as addressing the CF...this is a good time for your child to get the hang of talking about it & answering ???.....ignorance of the illness is the worst enemy of your child! Good Luck!

 

[anonymous]

Just wanted to address one thing. I do think that the parents know best when their child is ready and they should follow that lead. But, I would like to address the comment that if school is easier, so much the better. Sharon, please don't think I'm trying to call you out, you are a wealth of information and I <b>VERY</b> much respect your opinion. Just wanted to say that it is a common misconception that if school is easy, there's not a problem. That is not the case. (I'm the anon poster with the two boys with late b-days and a younger dd.) For my youngest ds, school IS too easy. The problem is when ds is not kept motivated and challenged, he acts out. His first grade year was horrible for just this reason. Second grade is a little better. He has the gifted class each day and that challenges him. He also has a highly structured "regular" class which helps, too. Problem is, ds is very gifted in math. He easily could be grade skipped for math but our school doesn't do accelerated pull outs so ds does the same math he's been doing for 2-3 years. Before this year, that wasn't a problem because ds would challenge himself at home but now he's gotten very lazy and unmotivated in all his schoolwork. He figures why should he expend any effort when he can make straight As without effort. The problem will come when he's older and encounters harder work. DS will NOT know how to study and work. It's much harder to learn study habits when you're older. (I know I was in the same boat.)

My point is just to caution parents, if your child is very ready academically and/or is bright, you really need to take that into serious consideration the same that you do the size, health, etc. I have personally come to the conclusion that every child is going to have some reason he/she does not fit in. It may not happen in K but it will happen at some point. Again, this is just my opinion but I wanted to throw that out for consideration as well.

 

[miesl]

I have to agree with the previous poster. Holding back a child mentally is one of the worst things you can do. "Easy" school is a very, very bad thing. It was easy for me and I absolutely hated going. I already knew the stuff they were going to 'teach' me and I got very bored. At that point - it makes school seem pointless.

I am a huge fan of accelerated learning programs - if your school offers them, and your child qualifies... DO IT!

 

[HD]

My 5 year old is a summer baby and he started kindergarten this year. I was a little worried, but he has been doing great. He is the smallest and gets teased on occasion, bu he also has a posse of freinds and does well. He just had a G tube placed and a few days before Ian and I did a little talk to his class about G tubes and it was hysterical . Honestly I think I could have said Ian was going to have a metal head and they would have been "cool!". We have explained CF as his body needing help with mucus in his lungs and turning food into energy. They seem fine with that.

 

[anonymous]

I do appreciate your advice about school being easier for Sophia if we hold her back. That is what is great about this board, we can express our opinions and share ideas. I learn so much from all of you. I taught middle school for 8 years before I had Sophia so I know some about today's school environment. There is no doubt in my mind that I want Sophia and Jack to have an easy time in school. What I mean by that is I want them challenged to their ability but not for studying and homework to dominate our lives outside of the classroom. My main goal for them is to be healthy (and to love the Lord!). I do not want my children to have to spend too much time doing homework and studying as well as finding time to do their treatments. I want them instead to enjoy their lives and to get enough sleep. I also would love to see them spending time instead exercising and playing sports. If they do miss school, I want them to be able to easily catch up and not fall behind.

My husband and I have been trying to decide whether we will send our children to the local public school, or a private school in our area. The private school parents say that their children are given a lot of homework, the parents compete to have their kids excel, and the environment is tough. When I was a teacher I felt the pressure from parents to give excessive homework. I feel this is wasted time for children. I really want to find a good school but one that also allows my kids to be kids. I already feel our lives are overloaded at age two and four and I can't get them to bed at 7:45-8:00 each night no matter how much I try. I can only imagine what it will be like when the homework starts. I also don't know what time we will have to get up, 5:00am to get to school at 7:30??? Maybe by then Sophia will have picked the fork up for herself and they won't scream and run away when I say it is time for treatment. I really do think my philosophy on their education would be different if they didn't have cf. I, of course, want them to succeed and do well and be able to go to a good college and support themselves and hopefully a family one day. But I think they can do it just as well with less emphasis on getting there.
Sharon, mom of Sophia, 4 and Jack, 2 both with cf

 

[Diana]

Hi everyone, I am new to this site but have been so impressed with the topics and everyones honesty with their experiences I have become hooked. I am from Perth, Western Australia, and have two gorgeous girls both with CF. I wanted to reply to this topic as it is something I am currently dealing with as my eldest daughter Mikayla, is about to start kindergarten.

I would have to say that I am completely with Sharon on this one. These kids spend so much of their day with treatments that school days are not going to be easy. I would rather the afternoons be their time to have fun. Some kids are acedemically inclined and enjoy the challenge of schoolwork (I know I did) and others love their sports. Mikayla is very smart (as most parents would say about their child) but I guarantee she would choose running around and playing sports over schoolwork already. It won't be a fight to get her to do her schoolwork though and I feel she is more than ready to start school (in fact she won't stop talking about it).

After reading everyone else's comments I think it is pretty clear that every child is different including those with CF so the best person to make the decision is the ones who know the child the best, the parents. My advice is decide what you know is the best option and have no regrets. Just know you have always and will continue doing the best you can.

 

[anonymous]

Just thought I'd share what we did to educate Mikayla's classmates on her CF. Last year she attended junior kindergarten, this year senior kindergarten. She is 5 years old (4 when she started JK) and this is the age children begin their education in Ontario, Canada.

I brought in the book "Mallory's 65 Roses" by Diane Shader Smith. I read it to the class. It is a great book for children ages 4 and up. I recommend it to anyone with a child with CF. It is a book my girls enjoy reading over and over (they can obviously identify with Mallory in the story).

After reading the book I showed the children Mikayla's nebulizer, compressor etc. and we counted down like Mallory did in the book. I put saline solution in the nebulizer so her classmates could see how it works then Mikayla put the mask on her face and her classmates saw the mist coming out.

Then I showed them Mikayla's physio cups and asked if they could remember the colour of the physio cups that Mallory used in the story (they are a different colour than Mikayla's). I then showed them about 20 seconds of an upright physio position.

I asked the children if they had any questions and then showed them "lightly" what physio felt like on their backs. We talked a little bit about the enzymes and talked about "what if Mikayla came to your house to play and wanted a snack?".....she would have to take enzymes.

The children enjoyed the presentation and I sent a short note home to the parents telling them about the book that was read to the class and included a pamphlet about CF in Canada. It's a good education for the school community. The whole presentation took about 15 minutes and the class thinks her stuff is cool. I believe it is better for her classmates to always know about her CF and plan to do the same thing when her little sister Madison begins school next year.

Tammy
Mommy to Mikayla (5) and Madison (3) both with CF

 

[JazzysMom]

I think U did an awesome job not only educating her classmates for her, but for any encounters with a CFer in the future. Kids usually tease because they dont know or dont understand.....knowledge is power!

 

[thefrogprincess]

Based on my own experience all I can say is that if you sone is ready on an accidemic level then he should start school. My birthday is in September and when I was about to turn 5 the school district gave me a test to see if I could start school "early". It was a sort of IQ test geared for small children. I missed their idea of being eligible by three points but I fell in the gifted category and they said that I should skip kindergarten because I could already read and had an enormous vocabulary for my age....but I couldn't start school. Then a year later when they finally let me start school they didn't let me skip kindergarten like they recommended I should. So I was two years ahead of my class and bored to death allk through school. By high school I was so fed up with it that I stopped doing homework (because I knew the material) and just sailed by on test scores (unless it was a class I liked, then I did the work). I should have been a straight A student but viewed it as a waist of my time. Besides, he's going to have to get used to the social scene eventually.

 

[littledebbie]

Just to throw another opinion into the arena, and I know it's just an opinion, I don't want to step on any toes, i don't have kids and i do believe every parent knows their kiddo the best. With that said...Maggi, he's probably always going to be the smallest in a lot of situations, so I don't think I'd let that factor into your decision too much. Sooner or later we have to get out there and swim with the other fish.

which also leads to Chrissy's Mom, I would really think twice about home schooling. There's a lot of CFer's that never really "live life" they never went to school and they never get a job and never live on their own, and the saddest part is it's not because they were too sick, it's because somewhere along the line they started thinking they were different and this is what their life was going to be. I think it was really good for me to have had as much "normalcy" as possible growing up.
Also, I had some persistent stomach problems in k so my Mom just let the teacher know that if I said i didn't feel well to send me to the office right away and then she told the nurse to not give me a hard time but just call her right away and she would come get me. Sometimes, I did this just because i had to go the bathroom and I couldn't bring myslef to use the school bathroom yet. i think K is a really good year for CFers to just get used to going to school and working out all of the kinks that we have to deal with. it was not an easy year as i remember, my Mom was also involved in the class a lot to help keep in touch with my teacher and reassure me a little. i really didn't want to go. <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0"> In short it is a hard year but it's an important step. Good luck to you guys.

 

[anonymous]

As an elementary teacher, I know that each child is different and it is almost impossible to know what is best for each child without trying things first. It is obviously much easier to look back and say "yes, we made the best choice" or "it would have been better if we had done ____". Intelligence is an important factor, but maturity is also very important and in most cases, maturity comes with age. As an example, one of the brightest students in my second grade class was also the youngest and most immature. Unfortunately for him, he did not gain nearly what he could have academically, as he would have had waited an extra year before starting elementary school bc he could not sit still or keep quiet long enough to hear anything (and he did not have ADHD, in case anyone is thinking that, he was just very immature). His peers also found his immaturity very annoying, and as silly as that sounds, that could be a large factor in his long-term education.

I personally always go with my gut feelings. In your case, there are many things you could do for him and with him if he waits another year for kindergarten to help develop not only his motor skills but also his academic skills. BUT, if I were in your position, I definately would go ahead and attend any kindergarten round-up-type meetings at the school so you will have the opportunity to discuss/evaluate his situation, get opinions from professionals, get to know teachers and school policies, etc.

I think Tammy shared a WONDERFUL way of explaining CF to a class - nice work!

Take Care!