Setting boundaries

[mamerth]

Let me start by saying "I am not a germ-freak". But... my friend keep bring their kids over to our house sick( or they invite us over) but don't tell us the kids have been sick. We have expressed to them before how important maintaining my health is (and protecting my lungs). They just don't listen and keep exposing me to their kids with snotty noses and coughs. We don't want to hurt their feelings or alienated them... we are just getting tired of their disregard for my health. (The kids like to give hugs-- I love these kids and don't want to hurt them or their parents by looking rude).

Does anyone have any suggestions of how we can set strong boundaries with them but still maintain the friendships?

 

[mamerth]

Let me start by saying "I am not a germ-freak". But... my friend keep bring their kids over to our house sick( or they invite us over) but don't tell us the kids have been sick. We have expressed to them before how important maintaining my health is (and protecting my lungs). They just don't listen and keep exposing me to their kids with snotty noses and coughs. We don't want to hurt their feelings or alienated them... we are just getting tired of their disregard for my health. (The kids like to give hugs-- I love these kids and don't want to hurt them or their parents by looking rude).

Does anyone have any suggestions of how we can set strong boundaries with them but still maintain the friendships?

 

[mamerth]

Let me start by saying "I am not a germ-freak". But... my friend keep bring their kids over to our house sick( or they invite us over) but don't tell us the kids have been sick. We have expressed to them before how important maintaining my health is (and protecting my lungs). They just don't listen and keep exposing me to their kids with snotty noses and coughs. We don't want to hurt their feelings or alienated them... we are just getting tired of their disregard for my health. (The kids like to give hugs-- I love these kids and don't want to hurt them or their parents by looking rude).

Does anyone have any suggestions of how we can set strong boundaries with them but still maintain the friendships?

 

[mamerth]

Let me start by saying "I am not a germ-freak". But... my friend keep bring their kids over to our house sick( or they invite us over) but don't tell us the kids have been sick. We have expressed to them before how important maintaining my health is (and protecting my lungs). They just don't listen and keep exposing me to their kids with snotty noses and coughs. We don't want to hurt their feelings or alienated them... we are just getting tired of their disregard for my health. (The kids like to give hugs-- I love these kids and don't want to hurt them or their parents by looking rude).

Does anyone have any suggestions of how we can set strong boundaries with them but still maintain the friendships?

 

[mamerth]

Let me start by saying "I am not a germ-freak". But... my friend keep bring their kids over to our house sick( or they invite us over) but don't tell us the kids have been sick. We have expressed to them before how important maintaining my health is (and protecting my lungs). They just don't listen and keep exposing me to their kids with snotty noses and coughs. We don't want to hurt their feelings or alienated them... we are just getting tired of their disregard for my health. (The kids like to give hugs-- I love these kids and don't want to hurt them or their parents by looking rude).

Does anyone have any suggestions of how we can set strong boundaries with them but still maintain the friendships?

 

[Emily65Roses]

Say what you said to us:
I don't want to alienate you or stop seeing you, but you have to let me know when your kids are sick. If you don't, we'll have to stop visiting altogether.

That'll make it serious, and give them an ultimatum, without being threatening.

 

[Emily65Roses]

Say what you said to us:
I don't want to alienate you or stop seeing you, but you have to let me know when your kids are sick. If you don't, we'll have to stop visiting altogether.

That'll make it serious, and give them an ultimatum, without being threatening.

 

[Emily65Roses]

Say what you said to us:
I don't want to alienate you or stop seeing you, but you have to let me know when your kids are sick. If you don't, we'll have to stop visiting altogether.

That'll make it serious, and give them an ultimatum, without being threatening.

 

[Emily65Roses]

Say what you said to us:
I don't want to alienate you or stop seeing you, but you have to let me know when your kids are sick. If you don't, we'll have to stop visiting altogether.

That'll make it serious, and give them an ultimatum, without being threatening.

 

[Emily65Roses]

Say what you said to us:
I don't want to alienate you or stop seeing you, but you have to let me know when your kids are sick. If you don't, we'll have to stop visiting altogether.

That'll make it serious, and give them an ultimatum, without being threatening.

 

[lightNlife]

They're the ones being rude, not you. Maybe if you want to spend time with your friend, suggest meeting for coffee outside the home. Are her kids school age? Maybe you could make a point to get together while the kids are in school.

A good friend should respect you enough to want the best for you. Maybe next time they come over, greet them at the door with a bottle of hand sanitizer. What's worse than them giving you germie hugs is that the could be touching everything else in your home. Be sure to wash your hands after they leave too. Do what's in YOUR power to stay healthy. Your friend will probably continue to bring her germified kids over. It's not worth losing the friendship. Hugs are probably okay (when followed by a good hand washing) but kisses are a no-no.

Good luck!

 

[lightNlife]

They're the ones being rude, not you. Maybe if you want to spend time with your friend, suggest meeting for coffee outside the home. Are her kids school age? Maybe you could make a point to get together while the kids are in school.

A good friend should respect you enough to want the best for you. Maybe next time they come over, greet them at the door with a bottle of hand sanitizer. What's worse than them giving you germie hugs is that the could be touching everything else in your home. Be sure to wash your hands after they leave too. Do what's in YOUR power to stay healthy. Your friend will probably continue to bring her germified kids over. It's not worth losing the friendship. Hugs are probably okay (when followed by a good hand washing) but kisses are a no-no.

Good luck!

 

[lightNlife]

They're the ones being rude, not you. Maybe if you want to spend time with your friend, suggest meeting for coffee outside the home. Are her kids school age? Maybe you could make a point to get together while the kids are in school.

A good friend should respect you enough to want the best for you. Maybe next time they come over, greet them at the door with a bottle of hand sanitizer. What's worse than them giving you germie hugs is that the could be touching everything else in your home. Be sure to wash your hands after they leave too. Do what's in YOUR power to stay healthy. Your friend will probably continue to bring her germified kids over. It's not worth losing the friendship. Hugs are probably okay (when followed by a good hand washing) but kisses are a no-no.

Good luck!

 

[lightNlife]

They're the ones being rude, not you. Maybe if you want to spend time with your friend, suggest meeting for coffee outside the home. Are her kids school age? Maybe you could make a point to get together while the kids are in school.

A good friend should respect you enough to want the best for you. Maybe next time they come over, greet them at the door with a bottle of hand sanitizer. What's worse than them giving you germie hugs is that the could be touching everything else in your home. Be sure to wash your hands after they leave too. Do what's in YOUR power to stay healthy. Your friend will probably continue to bring her germified kids over. It's not worth losing the friendship. Hugs are probably okay (when followed by a good hand washing) but kisses are a no-no.

Good luck!

 

[lightNlife]

They're the ones being rude, not you. Maybe if you want to spend time with your friend, suggest meeting for coffee outside the home. Are her kids school age? Maybe you could make a point to get together while the kids are in school.

A good friend should respect you enough to want the best for you. Maybe next time they come over, greet them at the door with a bottle of hand sanitizer. What's worse than them giving you germie hugs is that the could be touching everything else in your home. Be sure to wash your hands after they leave too. Do what's in YOUR power to stay healthy. Your friend will probably continue to bring her germified kids over. It's not worth losing the friendship. Hugs are probably okay (when followed by a good hand washing) but kisses are a no-no.

Good luck!

 

[sue35]

The only problem is that most of the time, little kids always have a snotty nose or cough. I have had students that have it all the time but they really aren't sick. It might not be that they are doing this on purpose but really don't think their child is sick.

I agree with lighNlife. I would have the bottle of hand sanitizer and do what you can to be healthy while they are there.

 

[sue35]

The only problem is that most of the time, little kids always have a snotty nose or cough. I have had students that have it all the time but they really aren't sick. It might not be that they are doing this on purpose but really don't think their child is sick.

I agree with lighNlife. I would have the bottle of hand sanitizer and do what you can to be healthy while they are there.

 

[sue35]

The only problem is that most of the time, little kids always have a snotty nose or cough. I have had students that have it all the time but they really aren't sick. It might not be that they are doing this on purpose but really don't think their child is sick.

I agree with lighNlife. I would have the bottle of hand sanitizer and do what you can to be healthy while they are there.

 

[sue35]

The only problem is that most of the time, little kids always have a snotty nose or cough. I have had students that have it all the time but they really aren't sick. It might not be that they are doing this on purpose but really don't think their child is sick.

I agree with lighNlife. I would have the bottle of hand sanitizer and do what you can to be healthy while they are there.

 

[sue35]

The only problem is that most of the time, little kids always have a snotty nose or cough. I have had students that have it all the time but they really aren't sick. It might not be that they are doing this on purpose but really don't think their child is sick.

I agree with lighNlife. I would have the bottle of hand sanitizer and do what you can to be healthy while they are there.