sex

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ej0820

New member
hey there!

I did a search on here for this topic and found absolutely nothing. Makes me wonder if no one has this problem...

I have no desire for sex. At all. I don't have the energy for it, the interest, the stamina, the excitement...nothing. I feel TERRIBLE, and quite guilty about it, for my fiance. He always tells me that it doesn't matter and that he understands. I mean, we DO have sex, but I feel it's more often than not out of my feeling bad that we haven't done it in a while rather than because we are BOTH in the mood. I mean, there is certainly no way we are having it as normally as every other couple in their mid-twenties.

Do you guys (ladies <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif" border="0"> ) ever get this way? I'm never in the mood, and usually the thought of it gets me out of breath. Or I just don't want to start up because I know half way through we'll have to stop because I need to cough or catch my breath or something. Then I feel the mood is ruined even if I WAS into it. I mean, really, how sexy is that? <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-blush.gif" border="0"> I feel bad, too, because when we do have sex, he's almost ALWAYS the one doing all the work because I can't keep up. On my good days, I initiate it and can 'run with the torch' (sorry, lol), but I haven't had a good day in so long - especially since I got my port and have been continuously accessed.

I'm in a slump, I guess, and I don't know how to get out of it. I fear I never will get out of it because I can't see my lung function and energy getting so much better that we'll be doing it more regularly. I really do feel horrible for my fiance because I want to want to be with him intimately and be in the mood when he is. I want to feel sexy and please him and the energy is just never there anymore. <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-sad.gif" border="0">

I know a lot of medications can affect the libido, but I'm at the point where there probably won't come a time when I'm not on any medications. Also, how do you battle side effects? I've been on IVs for the last month that have made me sooo nauseous and tired. Who would want to have sex when all you feel like doing is throwing up? Even more so when you start coughing??

Any suggestions?
 
E

ej0820

New member
hey there!

I did a search on here for this topic and found absolutely nothing. Makes me wonder if no one has this problem...

I have no desire for sex. At all. I don't have the energy for it, the interest, the stamina, the excitement...nothing. I feel TERRIBLE, and quite guilty about it, for my fiance. He always tells me that it doesn't matter and that he understands. I mean, we DO have sex, but I feel it's more often than not out of my feeling bad that we haven't done it in a while rather than because we are BOTH in the mood. I mean, there is certainly no way we are having it as normally as every other couple in their mid-twenties.

Do you guys (ladies <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif" border="0"> ) ever get this way? I'm never in the mood, and usually the thought of it gets me out of breath. Or I just don't want to start up because I know half way through we'll have to stop because I need to cough or catch my breath or something. Then I feel the mood is ruined even if I WAS into it. I mean, really, how sexy is that? <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-blush.gif" border="0"> I feel bad, too, because when we do have sex, he's almost ALWAYS the one doing all the work because I can't keep up. On my good days, I initiate it and can 'run with the torch' (sorry, lol), but I haven't had a good day in so long - especially since I got my port and have been continuously accessed.

I'm in a slump, I guess, and I don't know how to get out of it. I fear I never will get out of it because I can't see my lung function and energy getting so much better that we'll be doing it more regularly. I really do feel horrible for my fiance because I want to want to be with him intimately and be in the mood when he is. I want to feel sexy and please him and the energy is just never there anymore. <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-sad.gif" border="0">

I know a lot of medications can affect the libido, but I'm at the point where there probably won't come a time when I'm not on any medications. Also, how do you battle side effects? I've been on IVs for the last month that have made me sooo nauseous and tired. Who would want to have sex when all you feel like doing is throwing up? Even more so when you start coughing??

Any suggestions?
 
E

ej0820

New member
hey there!
<br />
<br />I did a search on here for this topic and found absolutely nothing. Makes me wonder if no one has this problem...
<br />
<br />I have no desire for sex. At all. I don't have the energy for it, the interest, the stamina, the excitement...nothing. I feel TERRIBLE, and quite guilty about it, for my fiance. He always tells me that it doesn't matter and that he understands. I mean, we DO have sex, but I feel it's more often than not out of my feeling bad that we haven't done it in a while rather than because we are BOTH in the mood. I mean, there is certainly no way we are having it as normally as every other couple in their mid-twenties.
<br />
<br />Do you guys (ladies <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif" border="0"> ) ever get this way? I'm never in the mood, and usually the thought of it gets me out of breath. Or I just don't want to start up because I know half way through we'll have to stop because I need to cough or catch my breath or something. Then I feel the mood is ruined even if I WAS into it. I mean, really, how sexy is that? <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-blush.gif" border="0"> I feel bad, too, because when we do have sex, he's almost ALWAYS the one doing all the work because I can't keep up. On my good days, I initiate it and can 'run with the torch' (sorry, lol), but I haven't had a good day in so long - especially since I got my port and have been continuously accessed.
<br />
<br />I'm in a slump, I guess, and I don't know how to get out of it. I fear I never will get out of it because I can't see my lung function and energy getting so much better that we'll be doing it more regularly. I really do feel horrible for my fiance because I want to want to be with him intimately and be in the mood when he is. I want to feel sexy and please him and the energy is just never there anymore. <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-sad.gif" border="0">
<br />
<br />I know a lot of medications can affect the libido, but I'm at the point where there probably won't come a time when I'm not on any medications. Also, how do you battle side effects? I've been on IVs for the last month that have made me sooo nauseous and tired. Who would want to have sex when all you feel like doing is throwing up? Even more so when you start coughing??
<br />
<br />Any suggestions?
 
R

randomgirl

New member
I know EXACTLY how you feel and everything you described is like the same issues that my boyfriend and I go through. Except my boyfriend actually really likes doing stuff more than the average guy (at least <i>I</i> think so). So I feel so bad for feeling the opposite of how he feels. But unfortunately, I don't know what to do about it. Plus, I'm VERY uncomfortable with him beling close to me since my stomach is huuuge (due to cf and liver disease).
 
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randomgirl

New member
I know EXACTLY how you feel and everything you described is like the same issues that my boyfriend and I go through. Except my boyfriend actually really likes doing stuff more than the average guy (at least <i>I</i> think so). So I feel so bad for feeling the opposite of how he feels. But unfortunately, I don't know what to do about it. Plus, I'm VERY uncomfortable with him beling close to me since my stomach is huuuge (due to cf and liver disease).
 
R

randomgirl

New member
I know EXACTLY how you feel and everything you described is like the same issues that my boyfriend and I go through. Except my boyfriend actually really likes doing stuff more than the average guy (at least <i>I</i> think so). So I feel so bad for feeling the opposite of how he feels. But unfortunately, I don't know what to do about it. Plus, I'm VERY uncomfortable with him beling close to me since my stomach is huuuge (due to cf and liver disease).
 
L

LouLou

New member
There definitely are threads on here about sex. I'll search after this and bump a few up. I've been with my hubby since 1998. We've gone through all different stages with sex. While libedo is effected by meds, agreed, I think the biggest factor is how busy you are in life (not just day to day ie. don't expect to be able to have lots of interest in sex on the weekends if you are in go mode all week). Healthy people may be able to do this but we need to have a lot of rest to be able to get to that point of enjoying sex. The time I felt as you describe I was busy wake to sleep. Now that I am home and more relaxed about my day I seem to enjoy sex and initiate it more.

A few ideas. If you aren't pleasuring yourself start now. The female body is attuned to needing orgasms more if it gets them more. Additionally, you'll get back in touch with your body in a harmoneous way not just administering poisonous drugs to it.

Recently a friend visited who gets orgasms every time from sex from the inside (g-spot?) not clitoral. I'm always amazed when I hear this from her so we chatted more and a few things I learned is she doesn't think about anything other than the sex that she is having and her partner's. Sometimes I don't want to kiss because I'm worried I'll make my husband sick or that my mouth will taste like mucus so now I brush and do mouthwash beforehand. Also, she is very attuned to her body. She explained directly all the energy down to her vagina and bam she orgasms. She also likes to be dominated. They mostly have sex in the morning. Perhaps you have more energy in the am or you feel better doing it while vesting. Think outside the box. I don't think you need to feel like you are not into it because of your physical shape. Can you lay on your back or does it cause immediate coughing or hemopytsis? If so use pillows to prop yourself up or do it standing. You can move your hips and be very into it without a lot of physical excertion :) Have you had sex in all the rooms of your house? This will cause you to get creative :) Also consider either going to a toy store or hosting a Passion Party.

And yes sex is necessary for a healthy relationship. I think any marital counselor will tell you that it needs to be a priority. Obviously in periods of extreme sickness it should be understandable that you are not interested but if more often than not throughout the year you don't want to or just aren't having sex then you should probably work on this.
 
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LouLou

New member
There definitely are threads on here about sex. I'll search after this and bump a few up. I've been with my hubby since 1998. We've gone through all different stages with sex. While libedo is effected by meds, agreed, I think the biggest factor is how busy you are in life (not just day to day ie. don't expect to be able to have lots of interest in sex on the weekends if you are in go mode all week). Healthy people may be able to do this but we need to have a lot of rest to be able to get to that point of enjoying sex. The time I felt as you describe I was busy wake to sleep. Now that I am home and more relaxed about my day I seem to enjoy sex and initiate it more.

A few ideas. If you aren't pleasuring yourself start now. The female body is attuned to needing orgasms more if it gets them more. Additionally, you'll get back in touch with your body in a harmoneous way not just administering poisonous drugs to it.

Recently a friend visited who gets orgasms every time from sex from the inside (g-spot?) not clitoral. I'm always amazed when I hear this from her so we chatted more and a few things I learned is she doesn't think about anything other than the sex that she is having and her partner's. Sometimes I don't want to kiss because I'm worried I'll make my husband sick or that my mouth will taste like mucus so now I brush and do mouthwash beforehand. Also, she is very attuned to her body. She explained directly all the energy down to her vagina and bam she orgasms. She also likes to be dominated. They mostly have sex in the morning. Perhaps you have more energy in the am or you feel better doing it while vesting. Think outside the box. I don't think you need to feel like you are not into it because of your physical shape. Can you lay on your back or does it cause immediate coughing or hemopytsis? If so use pillows to prop yourself up or do it standing. You can move your hips and be very into it without a lot of physical excertion :) Have you had sex in all the rooms of your house? This will cause you to get creative :) Also consider either going to a toy store or hosting a Passion Party.

And yes sex is necessary for a healthy relationship. I think any marital counselor will tell you that it needs to be a priority. Obviously in periods of extreme sickness it should be understandable that you are not interested but if more often than not throughout the year you don't want to or just aren't having sex then you should probably work on this.
 
L

LouLou

New member
There definitely are threads on here about sex. I'll search after this and bump a few up. I've been with my hubby since 1998. We've gone through all different stages with sex. While libedo is effected by meds, agreed, I think the biggest factor is how busy you are in life (not just day to day ie. don't expect to be able to have lots of interest in sex on the weekends if you are in go mode all week). Healthy people may be able to do this but we need to have a lot of rest to be able to get to that point of enjoying sex. The time I felt as you describe I was busy wake to sleep. Now that I am home and more relaxed about my day I seem to enjoy sex and initiate it more.
<br />
<br />A few ideas. If you aren't pleasuring yourself start now. The female body is attuned to needing orgasms more if it gets them more. Additionally, you'll get back in touch with your body in a harmoneous way not just administering poisonous drugs to it.
<br />
<br />Recently a friend visited who gets orgasms every time from sex from the inside (g-spot?) not clitoral. I'm always amazed when I hear this from her so we chatted more and a few things I learned is she doesn't think about anything other than the sex that she is having and her partner's. Sometimes I don't want to kiss because I'm worried I'll make my husband sick or that my mouth will taste like mucus so now I brush and do mouthwash beforehand. Also, she is very attuned to her body. She explained directly all the energy down to her vagina and bam she orgasms. She also likes to be dominated. They mostly have sex in the morning. Perhaps you have more energy in the am or you feel better doing it while vesting. Think outside the box. I don't think you need to feel like you are not into it because of your physical shape. Can you lay on your back or does it cause immediate coughing or hemopytsis? If so use pillows to prop yourself up or do it standing. You can move your hips and be very into it without a lot of physical excertion :) Have you had sex in all the rooms of your house? This will cause you to get creative :) Also consider either going to a toy store or hosting a Passion Party.
<br />
<br />And yes sex is necessary for a healthy relationship. I think any marital counselor will tell you that it needs to be a priority. Obviously in periods of extreme sickness it should be understandable that you are not interested but if more often than not throughout the year you don't want to or just aren't having sex then you should probably work on this.
 
E

entropy

Guest
Hmm... I'm a 20 year old male and I still have a strong desire to have sex even though my lung function isn't nearly as good as other people my age. I know you've geared your questions toward women, but I must say, I think that men have the harder job when it comes to sex. Women have the OPTION to just lie there while men do all the work. Maybe you can consider doing the missionary position for your boyfriend. It's a way to save energy; you can lie there and let your man do everything while still enjoying the physical stimulation.
 
E

entropy

Guest
Hmm... I'm a 20 year old male and I still have a strong desire to have sex even though my lung function isn't nearly as good as other people my age. I know you've geared your questions toward women, but I must say, I think that men have the harder job when it comes to sex. Women have the OPTION to just lie there while men do all the work. Maybe you can consider doing the missionary position for your boyfriend. It's a way to save energy; you can lie there and let your man do everything while still enjoying the physical stimulation.
 
E

entropy

Guest
Hmm... I'm a 20 year old male and I still have a strong desire to have sex even though my lung function isn't nearly as good as other people my age. I know you've geared your questions toward women, but I must say, I think that men have the harder job when it comes to sex. Women have the OPTION to just lie there while men do all the work. Maybe you can consider doing the missionary position for your boyfriend. It's a way to save energy; you can lie there and let your man do everything while still enjoying the physical stimulation.
 
M

MCGrad2006

Guest
I have the same problem as you are describing. I am 26 and feel absolutely no desire. I wish that it would were better because I feel bad for my fiancee. I am glad I am not the only one. We do have sex, but it always feels planned out, its never spontaneous and I just wish sometimes I felt like being spontaneous. I know part of that is the whole being busy and not really having time/energy to be spontaneous.

I wish I had some advice, but I think this thread is a good idea. I hope that you hear from more people.
 
M

MCGrad2006

Guest
I have the same problem as you are describing. I am 26 and feel absolutely no desire. I wish that it would were better because I feel bad for my fiancee. I am glad I am not the only one. We do have sex, but it always feels planned out, its never spontaneous and I just wish sometimes I felt like being spontaneous. I know part of that is the whole being busy and not really having time/energy to be spontaneous.

I wish I had some advice, but I think this thread is a good idea. I hope that you hear from more people.
 
M

MCGrad2006

Guest
I have the same problem as you are describing. I am 26 and feel absolutely no desire. I wish that it would were better because I feel bad for my fiancee. I am glad I am not the only one. We do have sex, but it always feels planned out, its never spontaneous and I just wish sometimes I felt like being spontaneous. I know part of that is the whole being busy and not really having time/energy to be spontaneous.
<br />
<br />I wish I had some advice, but I think this thread is a good idea. I hope that you hear from more people.
 
P

Proxy

New member
I notice a big decline in my desire when im going through a sick spell,my desire seems to depend alot on how I feel but also how I think I look, If im sick and wearing oxygen I am far from feeling desireble especially when it gets in the way.
LouLous post was filled with lots of helpful info <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">
I just try to make up for the lack of sex when im feeling good, having a understanding and patient partner helps heaps as well <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">and also getting into my head that when im naked hes not looking at my oxygen tubes, his mind is on other things lol.
And Entropy I think the Cowgirl position would be one in which the guy could just lay there <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif" border="0">
 
P

Proxy

New member
I notice a big decline in my desire when im going through a sick spell,my desire seems to depend alot on how I feel but also how I think I look, If im sick and wearing oxygen I am far from feeling desireble especially when it gets in the way.
LouLous post was filled with lots of helpful info <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">
I just try to make up for the lack of sex when im feeling good, having a understanding and patient partner helps heaps as well <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">and also getting into my head that when im naked hes not looking at my oxygen tubes, his mind is on other things lol.
And Entropy I think the Cowgirl position would be one in which the guy could just lay there <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif" border="0">
 
P

Proxy

New member
I notice a big decline in my desire when im going through a sick spell,my desire seems to depend alot on how I feel but also how I think I look, If im sick and wearing oxygen I am far from feeling desireble especially when it gets in the way.
<br />LouLous post was filled with lots of helpful info <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">
<br />I just try to make up for the lack of sex when im feeling good, having a understanding and patient partner helps heaps as well <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">and also getting into my head that when im naked hes not looking at my oxygen tubes, his mind is on other things lol.
<br />And Entropy I think the Cowgirl position would be one in which the guy could just lay there <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif" border="0">
 
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sarabeth87

New member
From talking to my friends that don't have CF, I would say that this affects all women. I think in the beginning of relationships there is gonna be a lot of desire, but once we get used to our partner, the desire fizzles out. I am with the guy that I've had the hugest crush on since I was 13 and I'm still madly in love with him, but for the most part I could care less about sex, even if I'm feeling well. Of course being sick doesn't help at all. I have to force myself to be "in the mood" because if we only did it when I wanted it, we'd probably only do it a couple times a year lol.
 
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sarabeth87

New member
From talking to my friends that don't have CF, I would say that this affects all women. I think in the beginning of relationships there is gonna be a lot of desire, but once we get used to our partner, the desire fizzles out. I am with the guy that I've had the hugest crush on since I was 13 and I'm still madly in love with him, but for the most part I could care less about sex, even if I'm feeling well. Of course being sick doesn't help at all. I have to force myself to be "in the mood" because if we only did it when I wanted it, we'd probably only do it a couple times a year lol.
 
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