sex

sarabeth87 · Nov 17, 2010

From talking to my friends that don't have CF, I would say that this affects all women. I think in the beginning of relationships there is gonna be a lot of desire, but once we get used to our partner, the desire fizzles out. I am with the guy that I've had the hugest crush on since I was 13 and I'm still madly in love with him, but for the most part I could care less about sex, even if I'm feeling well. Of course being sick doesn't help at all. I have to force myself to be "in the mood" because if we only did it when I wanted it, we'd probably only do it a couple times a year lol.

sarabeth87 · Nov 17, 2010

I forgot to add: This same thing happened to me in my first marriage too. I thought I felt this way because I was so unhappy with the marriage and I "disliked" my husband very much. I was sure I wouldn't ever feel this way about my current husband, but now I don't want to have sex with him most of the time either.

sarabeth87 · Nov 17, 2010

I forgot to add: This same thing happened to me in my first marriage too. I thought I felt this way because I was so unhappy with the marriage and I "disliked" my husband very much. I was sure I wouldn't ever feel this way about my current husband, but now I don't want to have sex with him most of the time either.

sarabeth87 · Nov 17, 2010

I forgot to add: This same thing happened to me in my first marriage too. I thought I felt this way because I was so unhappy with the marriage and I "disliked" my husband very much. I was sure I wouldn't ever feel this way about my current husband, but now I don't want to have sex with him most of the time either.

AimeeSue82 · Nov 19, 2010

Obviously the OP is not alone in this situation! I too have libido problems, but I've heard many times that the more sex you have, the more you want it. My bf would have sex several times a day if it were up to him! I limit him because I don't have the energy for that. But because he knows I'm tired all the time, he's more than willing to do more than his fair share of work so he can get some lovin. He does most of the foreplay work then most of the actual work too and just lets me lay there. But of course, once we're into it I help some too. If I have to cough, I tell him to stop a second and I cough. Or we stop and I have a coughing fit, then we resume. He knows that comes with the territory of CF. He really loves you so although you may not think the port access or the coughing is sexy, he barely registers it. He wants to be with you. If it helps, go VERY slowly so you don't get out of breath, you don't have to pump away! Or do a treatment immediatly beforehand. Talk to your fiance, I'm sure he's willing to do anything you need/want to make it easier for you.

~Aimee, 28 CF w/ PA & MRSA

AimeeSue82 · Nov 19, 2010

Obviously the OP is not alone in this situation! I too have libido problems, but I've heard many times that the more sex you have, the more you want it. My bf would have sex several times a day if it were up to him! I limit him because I don't have the energy for that. But because he knows I'm tired all the time, he's more than willing to do more than his fair share of work so he can get some lovin. He does most of the foreplay work then most of the actual work too and just lets me lay there. But of course, once we're into it I help some too. If I have to cough, I tell him to stop a second and I cough. Or we stop and I have a coughing fit, then we resume. He knows that comes with the territory of CF. He really loves you so although you may not think the port access or the coughing is sexy, he barely registers it. He wants to be with you. If it helps, go VERY slowly so you don't get out of breath, you don't have to pump away! Or do a treatment immediatly beforehand. Talk to your fiance, I'm sure he's willing to do anything you need/want to make it easier for you.

~Aimee, 28 CF w/ PA & MRSA

AimeeSue82 · Nov 19, 2010

Obviously the OP is not alone in this situation! I too have libido problems, but I've heard many times that the more sex you have, the more you want it. My bf would have sex several times a day if it were up to him! I limit him because I don't have the energy for that. But because he knows I'm tired all the time, he's more than willing to do more than his fair share of work so he can get some lovin. He does most of the foreplay work then most of the actual work too and just lets me lay there. But of course, once we're into it I help some too. If I have to cough, I tell him to stop a second and I cough. Or we stop and I have a coughing fit, then we resume. He knows that comes with the territory of CF. He really loves you so although you may not think the port access or the coughing is sexy, he barely registers it. He wants to be with you. If it helps, go VERY slowly so you don't get out of breath, you don't have to pump away! Or do a treatment immediatly beforehand. Talk to your fiance, I'm sure he's willing to do anything you need/want to make it easier for you.
 
 ~Aimee, 28 CF w/ PA & MRSA

falloutboygurl16 · Nov 19, 2010

i used to have this problem and im pretty sure it was due to taking antidepressants/antianxiety meds.
but then again maybe not.
with my last boyfriend i was REALLLY not in the mood sexually at all and i felt like if we did do anything it was for him as well because hes a guy and he "needs" it.
anyways i havent taken my antidepressants/anxiety meds because of my trying to control it on my own without having more drugs!
my sex drive is actually really good right now.
but then again it may be because ive got a new bf who i find more attractive physically and emotionally. also the emotional attachment is just amazing! so i dont know if that has anything to do with it you know?
when i am sick or even hooked up via port im still sexually active just as much.

when it comes to sex i like to be the one in control too because i find it more satisfying for him when im doing the work...sometimes i cant tho because of being really congested or having lots of problems breathing.
MORESO after breathing treatments and feeling amazing because of being able to breathe makes sex more enjoyable too.
my boyfriend always makes sure im okay and that i am breathing okay but he just asks and usually understands im fine.
ahah im sure he finds me sexy even with nice medical equipment hooked up. haha. :]

when im really tired from ivs i TRY really hard to stay up just to be intimate. but if i am too tired and do pass out he does realize im sick and i need rest. although i make time for our relationship too.

falloutboygurl16 · Nov 19, 2010

i used to have this problem and im pretty sure it was due to taking antidepressants/antianxiety meds.
but then again maybe not.
with my last boyfriend i was REALLLY not in the mood sexually at all and i felt like if we did do anything it was for him as well because hes a guy and he "needs" it.
anyways i havent taken my antidepressants/anxiety meds because of my trying to control it on my own without having more drugs!
my sex drive is actually really good right now.
but then again it may be because ive got a new bf who i find more attractive physically and emotionally. also the emotional attachment is just amazing! so i dont know if that has anything to do with it you know?
when i am sick or even hooked up via port im still sexually active just as much.

when it comes to sex i like to be the one in control too because i find it more satisfying for him when im doing the work...sometimes i cant tho because of being really congested or having lots of problems breathing.
MORESO after breathing treatments and feeling amazing because of being able to breathe makes sex more enjoyable too.
my boyfriend always makes sure im okay and that i am breathing okay but he just asks and usually understands im fine.
ahah im sure he finds me sexy even with nice medical equipment hooked up. haha. :]

when im really tired from ivs i TRY really hard to stay up just to be intimate. but if i am too tired and do pass out he does realize im sick and i need rest. although i make time for our relationship too.

falloutboygurl16 · Nov 19, 2010

i used to have this problem and im pretty sure it was due to taking antidepressants/antianxiety meds.
 but then again maybe not.
 with my last boyfriend i was REALLLY not in the mood sexually at all and i felt like if we did do anything it was for him as well because hes a guy and he "needs" it.
 anyways i havent taken my antidepressants/anxiety meds because of my trying to control it on my own without having more drugs!
 my sex drive is actually really good right now.
 but then again it may be because ive got a new bf who i find more attractive physically and emotionally. also the emotional attachment is just amazing! so i dont know if that has anything to do with it you know?
 when i am sick or even hooked up via port im still sexually active just as much.
 
 when it comes to sex i like to be the one in control too because i find it more satisfying for him when im doing the work...sometimes i cant tho because of being really congested or having lots of problems breathing.
 MORESO after breathing treatments and feeling amazing because of being able to breathe makes sex more enjoyable too.
 my boyfriend always makes sure im okay and that i am breathing okay but he just asks and usually understands im fine.
 ahah im sure he finds me sexy even with nice medical equipment hooked up. haha. :]
 
 when im really tired from ivs i TRY really hard to stay up just to be intimate. but if i am too tired and do pass out he does realize im sick and i need rest. although i make time for our relationship too.

windex125 · Nov 20, 2010

Wow these were all great suggestions, I hope you all walked away with something new to think abt. but probably as the oldest making a comment here. I will say sex does not always have to mean pentration and hard work. Bathing together is a very nice relaxing feeling, body massages with oil for each other, which of course can lead or not lead to further stimmulation. I do remember those days of getting on my man and riding like a horse the lust and passion are a very good memory for sure.But now things changed the IV port /o2 as well but the coughing is worse then it's ever been. I am amazed still at times at the amt.of junk we generate. Anyway getting off course here. I liked alot of LouLou suggestions as well. Plus age has changed my interest and of course my energy level is not what it used to be. But I still do things to let him know how special he is sometimes I will vaccum topless which he still enjoys looking at my breats even though they aren't as perky as they used to be. I always smell good, my hair is always done. Caring for yourself/body comes first. Please don't feel oh I am sick it doesn't matter what I look like it does, we all know the mental strength in us and our will power to stay well it makes a difference. Also postions are a big factor how abt.him sitting on a chair and you sitting on top of him works well actually better than laying down probably.I know you mentioned he is understanding, and bless him for that but honestly with men it really is abt alot of sex and stimmulation I just have to be honest abt that. Good luck to you. Pat-55/CF

windex125 · Nov 20, 2010

Wow these were all great suggestions, I hope you all walked away with something new to think abt. but probably as the oldest making a comment here. I will say sex does not always have to mean pentration and hard work. Bathing together is a very nice relaxing feeling, body massages with oil for each other, which of course can lead or not lead to further stimmulation. I do remember those days of getting on my man and riding like a horse the lust and passion are a very good memory for sure.But now things changed the IV port /o2 as well but the coughing is worse then it's ever been. I am amazed still at times at the amt.of junk we generate. Anyway getting off course here. I liked alot of LouLou suggestions as well. Plus age has changed my interest and of course my energy level is not what it used to be. But I still do things to let him know how special he is sometimes I will vaccum topless which he still enjoys looking at my breats even though they aren't as perky as they used to be. I always smell good, my hair is always done. Caring for yourself/body comes first. Please don't feel oh I am sick it doesn't matter what I look like it does, we all know the mental strength in us and our will power to stay well it makes a difference. Also postions are a big factor how abt.him sitting on a chair and you sitting on top of him works well actually better than laying down probably.I know you mentioned he is understanding, and bless him for that but honestly with men it really is abt alot of sex and stimmulation I just have to be honest abt that. Good luck to you. Pat-55/CF

windex125 · Nov 20, 2010

Wow these were all great suggestions, I hope you all walked away with something new to think abt. but probably as the oldest making a comment here. I will say sex does not always have to mean pentration and hard work. Bathing together is a very nice relaxing feeling, body massages with oil for each other, which of course can lead or not lead to further stimmulation. I do remember those days of getting on my man and riding like a horse the lust and passion are a very good memory for sure.But now things changed the IV port /o2 as well but the coughing is worse then it's ever been. I am amazed still at times at the amt.of junk we generate. Anyway getting off course here. I liked alot of LouLou suggestions as well. Plus age has changed my interest and of course my energy level is not what it used to be. But I still do things to let him know how special he is sometimes I will vaccum topless which he still enjoys looking at my breats even though they aren't as perky as they used to be. I always smell good, my hair is always done. Caring for yourself/body comes first. Please don't feel oh I am sick it doesn't matter what I look like it does, we all know the mental strength in us and our will power to stay well it makes a difference. Also postions are a big factor how abt.him sitting on a chair and you sitting on top of him works well actually better than laying down probably.I know you mentioned he is understanding, and bless him for that but honestly with men it really is abt alot of sex and stimmulation I just have to be honest abt that. Good luck to you. Pat-55/CF

sue35 · Nov 21, 2010

This makes me feel so much better that there are other people out there like me. I never am "in the mood". It really does just seem like a chore to me because I know I will be tired and coughing. I feel horrible for my fiance. Nothing I try seems to help. I get worried because if this is happening at 28 then who knows what I will be later in life.

sue35 · Nov 21, 2010

This makes me feel so much better that there are other people out there like me. I never am "in the mood". It really does just seem like a chore to me because I know I will be tired and coughing. I feel horrible for my fiance. Nothing I try seems to help. I get worried because if this is happening at 28 then who knows what I will be later in life.

sue35 · Nov 21, 2010

This makes me feel so much better that there are other people out there like me. I never am "in the mood". It really does just seem like a chore to me because I know I will be tired and coughing. I feel horrible for my fiance. Nothing I try seems to help. I get worried because if this is happening at 28 then who knows what I will be later in life.

GrantsWife · Nov 21, 2010

Well I am not the one with CF but my hubby is. I don't think I have ever noticed him letting his disease get in the way of sex. The only thing that does seem to affect it though is either him being too tired from work or he is actually very sick. I agree that it is a very important thing to have sex in a marriage when you both feel well, it keeps the relationship healthy. I know as I stated that I don't have CF but as a woman I think I can say that there are times that I too have had sex with hubby just because we hadn't had any in a while and didn't want him to go without. It is just that life gets a hold of me and sometimes just feel comfortable with myself or my body. I am sure the same goes for women with CF. Just know that you are all beautiful and obviously loved. Try not to worry so much about what your spouse or partner thinks. If they love you, they will wait until you feel up to par. All I know is that hubby seems to enjoy sex more when we have gone without it for a while because he thinks it is great exercise for clearing his lungs. It is fun for both of us and in turn is keeping hubby healthy which is great for us. And also if you need to take a break to cough, so be it. You have CF and I know from being a spouse myself that anything my hubby has to do, I understand and respect so I am sure yours will as well.

Sorry I can't provide you with more help or advice but I can only do so from the other side of the equation. I hope things look up for you in this department and that you find others to relate with. Hopefully everyone finds something that works well for them.

GrantsWife · Nov 21, 2010

Well I am not the one with CF but my hubby is. I don't think I have ever noticed him letting his disease get in the way of sex. The only thing that does seem to affect it though is either him being too tired from work or he is actually very sick. I agree that it is a very important thing to have sex in a marriage when you both feel well, it keeps the relationship healthy. I know as I stated that I don't have CF but as a woman I think I can say that there are times that I too have had sex with hubby just because we hadn't had any in a while and didn't want him to go without. It is just that life gets a hold of me and sometimes just feel comfortable with myself or my body. I am sure the same goes for women with CF. Just know that you are all beautiful and obviously loved. Try not to worry so much about what your spouse or partner thinks. If they love you, they will wait until you feel up to par. All I know is that hubby seems to enjoy sex more when we have gone without it for a while because he thinks it is great exercise for clearing his lungs. It is fun for both of us and in turn is keeping hubby healthy which is great for us. And also if you need to take a break to cough, so be it. You have CF and I know from being a spouse myself that anything my hubby has to do, I understand and respect so I am sure yours will as well.

Sorry I can't provide you with more help or advice but I can only do so from the other side of the equation. I hope things look up for you in this department and that you find others to relate with. Hopefully everyone finds something that works well for them.

GrantsWife · Nov 21, 2010

Well I am not the one with CF but my hubby is. I don't think I have ever noticed him letting his disease get in the way of sex. The only thing that does seem to affect it though is either him being too tired from work or he is actually very sick. I agree that it is a very important thing to have sex in a marriage when you both feel well, it keeps the relationship healthy. I know as I stated that I don't have CF but as a woman I think I can say that there are times that I too have had sex with hubby just because we hadn't had any in a while and didn't want him to go without. It is just that life gets a hold of me and sometimes just feel comfortable with myself or my body. I am sure the same goes for women with CF. Just know that you are all beautiful and obviously loved. Try not to worry so much about what your spouse or partner thinks. If they love you, they will wait until you feel up to par. All I know is that hubby seems to enjoy sex more when we have gone without it for a while because he thinks it is great exercise for clearing his lungs. It is fun for both of us and in turn is keeping hubby healthy which is great for us. And also if you need to take a break to cough, so be it. You have CF and I know from being a spouse myself that anything my hubby has to do, I understand and respect so I am sure yours will as well.
 
 Sorry I can't provide you with more help or advice but I can only do so from the other side of the equation. I hope things look up for you in this department and that you find others to relate with. Hopefully everyone finds something that works well for them.

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