Should I have more children?

DaLaHu

New member
Last year I lost my 22 year old cousin to CF. I am turning 27 this year, so he was not much younger than I. That is where the story starts. A couple months after he passed away, my wife and I found out we were pregnant after a long while trying. During the pregnancy my wife had a CF carrier test and found out she was a carrier of DF508. I did not know if I was a carrier or not, but I knew it was very possible because of my cousin, and I knew the odds if I was. I prayed daily for a healthy baby. So fast forward to March 2008 a few weeks after the birth of my beautiful baby boy. I was in NYC for a business incentive trip and my wife was at home with the newborn. She made the phone call to me while I was out to lunch with a VP. She was upset and told me the the NY CF screen test came back with high IRT levels. I immediately spent my night googling IRT levels and chances of that meaning my son would have CF. Well, the sweat test confirmed that my son has CF. WOW, how difficult was it to utter those words to my recently heartbroken family. I am not an overly religious person but I believe in God and I consider myself and my wife ProLife at least for our decisions. My son is a blessing and I wouldn't give him back. This is my first post so excuse the preliminaries, but this post is my reason for joining. I am having a tough time deciding if it would be ethically right to have more children. Is it right to know the 1 in 4 chance of your child having CF and knowing the risks and still having a second child? Family is quick to tell you that maybe having 1 child is fine...you know what they are thinking. My wife and I always thought we would have 3 kids. Sure there is adoption, and the use of only one set of our genes. Those are options. But here's a new issue. If you would combine either of our gene's with someone elses who's do we use? Or if we use our own and then have them test for CF in the lab before implantation,and then stop due to them finding CF is that just the same as abortion? My issue is that we would like more kids...I just do not want to feel as if my next baby was born with CF and I knew the risk, that I wouldn't feel guilty thinking in that case I could've prevented it. So to sum it up, how can I feel comfortable having more biological children even know NOW I know my own risk?
 

DaLaHu

New member
Last year I lost my 22 year old cousin to CF. I am turning 27 this year, so he was not much younger than I. That is where the story starts. A couple months after he passed away, my wife and I found out we were pregnant after a long while trying. During the pregnancy my wife had a CF carrier test and found out she was a carrier of DF508. I did not know if I was a carrier or not, but I knew it was very possible because of my cousin, and I knew the odds if I was. I prayed daily for a healthy baby. So fast forward to March 2008 a few weeks after the birth of my beautiful baby boy. I was in NYC for a business incentive trip and my wife was at home with the newborn. She made the phone call to me while I was out to lunch with a VP. She was upset and told me the the NY CF screen test came back with high IRT levels. I immediately spent my night googling IRT levels and chances of that meaning my son would have CF. Well, the sweat test confirmed that my son has CF. WOW, how difficult was it to utter those words to my recently heartbroken family. I am not an overly religious person but I believe in God and I consider myself and my wife ProLife at least for our decisions. My son is a blessing and I wouldn't give him back. This is my first post so excuse the preliminaries, but this post is my reason for joining. I am having a tough time deciding if it would be ethically right to have more children. Is it right to know the 1 in 4 chance of your child having CF and knowing the risks and still having a second child? Family is quick to tell you that maybe having 1 child is fine...you know what they are thinking. My wife and I always thought we would have 3 kids. Sure there is adoption, and the use of only one set of our genes. Those are options. But here's a new issue. If you would combine either of our gene's with someone elses who's do we use? Or if we use our own and then have them test for CF in the lab before implantation,and then stop due to them finding CF is that just the same as abortion? My issue is that we would like more kids...I just do not want to feel as if my next baby was born with CF and I knew the risk, that I wouldn't feel guilty thinking in that case I could've prevented it. So to sum it up, how can I feel comfortable having more biological children even know NOW I know my own risk?
 

DaLaHu

New member
Last year I lost my 22 year old cousin to CF. I am turning 27 this year, so he was not much younger than I. That is where the story starts. A couple months after he passed away, my wife and I found out we were pregnant after a long while trying. During the pregnancy my wife had a CF carrier test and found out she was a carrier of DF508. I did not know if I was a carrier or not, but I knew it was very possible because of my cousin, and I knew the odds if I was. I prayed daily for a healthy baby. So fast forward to March 2008 a few weeks after the birth of my beautiful baby boy. I was in NYC for a business incentive trip and my wife was at home with the newborn. She made the phone call to me while I was out to lunch with a VP. She was upset and told me the the NY CF screen test came back with high IRT levels. I immediately spent my night googling IRT levels and chances of that meaning my son would have CF. Well, the sweat test confirmed that my son has CF. WOW, how difficult was it to utter those words to my recently heartbroken family. I am not an overly religious person but I believe in God and I consider myself and my wife ProLife at least for our decisions. My son is a blessing and I wouldn't give him back. This is my first post so excuse the preliminaries, but this post is my reason for joining. I am having a tough time deciding if it would be ethically right to have more children. Is it right to know the 1 in 4 chance of your child having CF and knowing the risks and still having a second child? Family is quick to tell you that maybe having 1 child is fine...you know what they are thinking. My wife and I always thought we would have 3 kids. Sure there is adoption, and the use of only one set of our genes. Those are options. But here's a new issue. If you would combine either of our gene's with someone elses who's do we use? Or if we use our own and then have them test for CF in the lab before implantation,and then stop due to them finding CF is that just the same as abortion? My issue is that we would like more kids...I just do not want to feel as if my next baby was born with CF and I knew the risk, that I wouldn't feel guilty thinking in that case I could've prevented it. So to sum it up, how can I feel comfortable having more biological children even know NOW I know my own risk?
 

DaLaHu

New member
Last year I lost my 22 year old cousin to CF. I am turning 27 this year, so he was not much younger than I. That is where the story starts. A couple months after he passed away, my wife and I found out we were pregnant after a long while trying. During the pregnancy my wife had a CF carrier test and found out she was a carrier of DF508. I did not know if I was a carrier or not, but I knew it was very possible because of my cousin, and I knew the odds if I was. I prayed daily for a healthy baby. So fast forward to March 2008 a few weeks after the birth of my beautiful baby boy. I was in NYC for a business incentive trip and my wife was at home with the newborn. She made the phone call to me while I was out to lunch with a VP. She was upset and told me the the NY CF screen test came back with high IRT levels. I immediately spent my night googling IRT levels and chances of that meaning my son would have CF. Well, the sweat test confirmed that my son has CF. WOW, how difficult was it to utter those words to my recently heartbroken family. I am not an overly religious person but I believe in God and I consider myself and my wife ProLife at least for our decisions. My son is a blessing and I wouldn't give him back. This is my first post so excuse the preliminaries, but this post is my reason for joining. I am having a tough time deciding if it would be ethically right to have more children. Is it right to know the 1 in 4 chance of your child having CF and knowing the risks and still having a second child? Family is quick to tell you that maybe having 1 child is fine...you know what they are thinking. My wife and I always thought we would have 3 kids. Sure there is adoption, and the use of only one set of our genes. Those are options. But here's a new issue. If you would combine either of our gene's with someone elses who's do we use? Or if we use our own and then have them test for CF in the lab before implantation,and then stop due to them finding CF is that just the same as abortion? My issue is that we would like more kids...I just do not want to feel as if my next baby was born with CF and I knew the risk, that I wouldn't feel guilty thinking in that case I could've prevented it. So to sum it up, how can I feel comfortable having more biological children even know NOW I know my own risk?
 

DaLaHu

New member
Last year I lost my 22 year old cousin to CF. I am turning 27 this year, so he was not much younger than I. That is where the story starts. A couple months after he passed away, my wife and I found out we were pregnant after a long while trying. During the pregnancy my wife had a CF carrier test and found out she was a carrier of DF508. I did not know if I was a carrier or not, but I knew it was very possible because of my cousin, and I knew the odds if I was. I prayed daily for a healthy baby. So fast forward to March 2008 a few weeks after the birth of my beautiful baby boy. I was in NYC for a business incentive trip and my wife was at home with the newborn. She made the phone call to me while I was out to lunch with a VP. She was upset and told me the the NY CF screen test came back with high IRT levels. I immediately spent my night googling IRT levels and chances of that meaning my son would have CF. Well, the sweat test confirmed that my son has CF. WOW, how difficult was it to utter those words to my recently heartbroken family. I am not an overly religious person but I believe in God and I consider myself and my wife ProLife at least for our decisions. My son is a blessing and I wouldn't give him back. This is my first post so excuse the preliminaries, but this post is my reason for joining. I am having a tough time deciding if it would be ethically right to have more children. Is it right to know the 1 in 4 chance of your child having CF and knowing the risks and still having a second child? Family is quick to tell you that maybe having 1 child is fine...you know what they are thinking. My wife and I always thought we would have 3 kids. Sure there is adoption, and the use of only one set of our genes. Those are options. But here's a new issue. If you would combine either of our gene's with someone elses who's do we use? Or if we use our own and then have them test for CF in the lab before implantation,and then stop due to them finding CF is that just the same as abortion? My issue is that we would like more kids...I just do not want to feel as if my next baby was born with CF and I knew the risk, that I wouldn't feel guilty thinking in that case I could've prevented it. So to sum it up, how can I feel comfortable having more biological children even know NOW I know my own risk?
 

Chilemom

New member
I couldn´t say it better. Tha same happend to me, just the same. i can´t help you, and is worse nobody can, because is so personal.
one thing is that my daughter has cf, and i know i will fight until the last day, and we will be an example of a good cfer (do all treatments, eat properly, etc). But, other kids???
my husband said that he wants more kids because he already love them with or without cf, and if one day this kids will complain about having him knowing the chance of having cf, he will said: "we love you so much that we coudnt not have you".
But I don´t know yet, and i have read every post about this issue, and no reply could make up my mind.
 

Chilemom

New member
I couldn´t say it better. Tha same happend to me, just the same. i can´t help you, and is worse nobody can, because is so personal.
one thing is that my daughter has cf, and i know i will fight until the last day, and we will be an example of a good cfer (do all treatments, eat properly, etc). But, other kids???
my husband said that he wants more kids because he already love them with or without cf, and if one day this kids will complain about having him knowing the chance of having cf, he will said: "we love you so much that we coudnt not have you".
But I don´t know yet, and i have read every post about this issue, and no reply could make up my mind.
 

Chilemom

New member
I couldn´t say it better. Tha same happend to me, just the same. i can´t help you, and is worse nobody can, because is so personal.
one thing is that my daughter has cf, and i know i will fight until the last day, and we will be an example of a good cfer (do all treatments, eat properly, etc). But, other kids???
my husband said that he wants more kids because he already love them with or without cf, and if one day this kids will complain about having him knowing the chance of having cf, he will said: "we love you so much that we coudnt not have you".
But I don´t know yet, and i have read every post about this issue, and no reply could make up my mind.
 

Chilemom

New member
I couldn´t say it better. Tha same happend to me, just the same. i can´t help you, and is worse nobody can, because is so personal.
one thing is that my daughter has cf, and i know i will fight until the last day, and we will be an example of a good cfer (do all treatments, eat properly, etc). But, other kids???
my husband said that he wants more kids because he already love them with or without cf, and if one day this kids will complain about having him knowing the chance of having cf, he will said: "we love you so much that we coudnt not have you".
But I don´t know yet, and i have read every post about this issue, and no reply could make up my mind.
 

Chilemom

New member
I couldn´t say it better. Tha same happend to me, just the same. i can´t help you, and is worse nobody can, because is so personal.
<br />one thing is that my daughter has cf, and i know i will fight until the last day, and we will be an example of a good cfer (do all treatments, eat properly, etc). But, other kids???
<br />my husband said that he wants more kids because he already love them with or without cf, and if one day this kids will complain about having him knowing the chance of having cf, he will said: "we love you so much that we coudnt not have you".
<br />But I don´t know yet, and i have read every post about this issue, and no reply could make up my mind.
 
M

mneville

Guest
It is a grueling decision. Our son Aidan was diagnosed at 8 days old with newborn screening. We were shocked and devastated as we wanted lots of kids. Aidan is a Double Delta. When Aidan was about 2 we looked into our options- donor, PGD, adoption...We knew we would never take the chance. To us, prevention is key. If we can try to prevent a 25% chance of our baby being born with a fatal disease, we were going to.

Adoption cost too much. Donor was our last resort so we tried IVF/PGD. It worked after 3 rounds and Aidan now has a healthy baby brother. It has been the greatest blessing and we are thrilled with our decision. Also--dozens of embryos created through IVF sit in IVF labs- you don't have to make any immediate decisions about what to do if you have embryos affected by CF. In our case, 1 of our embryos had CF but it never survived the lab. I think it is a completely personal decision. My husband at one point said to me he could not live with the guilt if we took the chance and a new baby had CF. Once he said that, I knew it was not an option for us or our marriage.

Best of luck. It is so difficult.I can certainly share info about PGD if you'd like.

Megan, mom to Aidan 3 CF and Gavin, 1 no CF
 
M

mneville

Guest
It is a grueling decision. Our son Aidan was diagnosed at 8 days old with newborn screening. We were shocked and devastated as we wanted lots of kids. Aidan is a Double Delta. When Aidan was about 2 we looked into our options- donor, PGD, adoption...We knew we would never take the chance. To us, prevention is key. If we can try to prevent a 25% chance of our baby being born with a fatal disease, we were going to.

Adoption cost too much. Donor was our last resort so we tried IVF/PGD. It worked after 3 rounds and Aidan now has a healthy baby brother. It has been the greatest blessing and we are thrilled with our decision. Also--dozens of embryos created through IVF sit in IVF labs- you don't have to make any immediate decisions about what to do if you have embryos affected by CF. In our case, 1 of our embryos had CF but it never survived the lab. I think it is a completely personal decision. My husband at one point said to me he could not live with the guilt if we took the chance and a new baby had CF. Once he said that, I knew it was not an option for us or our marriage.

Best of luck. It is so difficult.I can certainly share info about PGD if you'd like.

Megan, mom to Aidan 3 CF and Gavin, 1 no CF
 
M

mneville

Guest
It is a grueling decision. Our son Aidan was diagnosed at 8 days old with newborn screening. We were shocked and devastated as we wanted lots of kids. Aidan is a Double Delta. When Aidan was about 2 we looked into our options- donor, PGD, adoption...We knew we would never take the chance. To us, prevention is key. If we can try to prevent a 25% chance of our baby being born with a fatal disease, we were going to.

Adoption cost too much. Donor was our last resort so we tried IVF/PGD. It worked after 3 rounds and Aidan now has a healthy baby brother. It has been the greatest blessing and we are thrilled with our decision. Also--dozens of embryos created through IVF sit in IVF labs- you don't have to make any immediate decisions about what to do if you have embryos affected by CF. In our case, 1 of our embryos had CF but it never survived the lab. I think it is a completely personal decision. My husband at one point said to me he could not live with the guilt if we took the chance and a new baby had CF. Once he said that, I knew it was not an option for us or our marriage.

Best of luck. It is so difficult.I can certainly share info about PGD if you'd like.

Megan, mom to Aidan 3 CF and Gavin, 1 no CF
 
M

mneville

Guest
It is a grueling decision. Our son Aidan was diagnosed at 8 days old with newborn screening. We were shocked and devastated as we wanted lots of kids. Aidan is a Double Delta. When Aidan was about 2 we looked into our options- donor, PGD, adoption...We knew we would never take the chance. To us, prevention is key. If we can try to prevent a 25% chance of our baby being born with a fatal disease, we were going to.

Adoption cost too much. Donor was our last resort so we tried IVF/PGD. It worked after 3 rounds and Aidan now has a healthy baby brother. It has been the greatest blessing and we are thrilled with our decision. Also--dozens of embryos created through IVF sit in IVF labs- you don't have to make any immediate decisions about what to do if you have embryos affected by CF. In our case, 1 of our embryos had CF but it never survived the lab. I think it is a completely personal decision. My husband at one point said to me he could not live with the guilt if we took the chance and a new baby had CF. Once he said that, I knew it was not an option for us or our marriage.

Best of luck. It is so difficult.I can certainly share info about PGD if you'd like.

Megan, mom to Aidan 3 CF and Gavin, 1 no CF
 
M

mneville

Guest
It is a grueling decision. Our son Aidan was diagnosed at 8 days old with newborn screening. We were shocked and devastated as we wanted lots of kids. Aidan is a Double Delta. When Aidan was about 2 we looked into our options- donor, PGD, adoption...We knew we would never take the chance. To us, prevention is key. If we can try to prevent a 25% chance of our baby being born with a fatal disease, we were going to.
<br />
<br />Adoption cost too much. Donor was our last resort so we tried IVF/PGD. It worked after 3 rounds and Aidan now has a healthy baby brother. It has been the greatest blessing and we are thrilled with our decision. Also--dozens of embryos created through IVF sit in IVF labs- you don't have to make any immediate decisions about what to do if you have embryos affected by CF. In our case, 1 of our embryos had CF but it never survived the lab. I think it is a completely personal decision. My husband at one point said to me he could not live with the guilt if we took the chance and a new baby had CF. Once he said that, I knew it was not an option for us or our marriage.
<br />
<br />Best of luck. It is so difficult.I can certainly share info about PGD if you'd like.
<br />
<br />Megan, mom to Aidan 3 CF and Gavin, 1 no CF
 

MargaritaChic

New member
I agree with the others. Only you can make this personal decision. There is no RIGHT choice. There is only the choice that is RIGHT FOR YOU.

We have decided not to have any more children. Our thoughts are close to yours but we also thought about... how would it feel to Emma growing up with a sibling who did not have CF. Would she think "why me?" Also, having a child with CF takes alot of work. Would it be 'fair' to the non-CF child all the attention and care that would have to be placed on the child with CF.

Good luck with your decision.

There are many people on the site that have chosen to have additional children and I am sure they would not trade those kids for the world.
 

MargaritaChic

New member
I agree with the others. Only you can make this personal decision. There is no RIGHT choice. There is only the choice that is RIGHT FOR YOU.

We have decided not to have any more children. Our thoughts are close to yours but we also thought about... how would it feel to Emma growing up with a sibling who did not have CF. Would she think "why me?" Also, having a child with CF takes alot of work. Would it be 'fair' to the non-CF child all the attention and care that would have to be placed on the child with CF.

Good luck with your decision.

There are many people on the site that have chosen to have additional children and I am sure they would not trade those kids for the world.
 

MargaritaChic

New member
I agree with the others. Only you can make this personal decision. There is no RIGHT choice. There is only the choice that is RIGHT FOR YOU.

We have decided not to have any more children. Our thoughts are close to yours but we also thought about... how would it feel to Emma growing up with a sibling who did not have CF. Would she think "why me?" Also, having a child with CF takes alot of work. Would it be 'fair' to the non-CF child all the attention and care that would have to be placed on the child with CF.

Good luck with your decision.

There are many people on the site that have chosen to have additional children and I am sure they would not trade those kids for the world.
 

MargaritaChic

New member
I agree with the others. Only you can make this personal decision. There is no RIGHT choice. There is only the choice that is RIGHT FOR YOU.

We have decided not to have any more children. Our thoughts are close to yours but we also thought about... how would it feel to Emma growing up with a sibling who did not have CF. Would she think "why me?" Also, having a child with CF takes alot of work. Would it be 'fair' to the non-CF child all the attention and care that would have to be placed on the child with CF.

Good luck with your decision.

There are many people on the site that have chosen to have additional children and I am sure they would not trade those kids for the world.
 

MargaritaChic

New member
I agree with the others. Only you can make this personal decision. There is no RIGHT choice. There is only the choice that is RIGHT FOR YOU.
<br />
<br />We have decided not to have any more children. Our thoughts are close to yours but we also thought about... how would it feel to Emma growing up with a sibling who did not have CF. Would she think "why me?" Also, having a child with CF takes alot of work. Would it be 'fair' to the non-CF child all the attention and care that would have to be placed on the child with CF.
<br />
<br />Good luck with your decision.
<br />
<br />There are many people on the site that have chosen to have additional children and I am sure they would not trade those kids for the world.
 
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