Sibling issues

[pjspiegle]

not sure sharing this will help or scare you, but my oldest son had "sympathy pains" for his brother. I cannot tell you how many times Nathan would get admitted for a tune-up and Chaise would get so sick he would end up in the ER within a day or two of Nathans admission. The first few times, we thought it was his asthma, the next 3 or 4 times we were convienced he was having appendicitis, ant the last couple of times they figured out they were severe panic attacks. We of course always reassured the rest of the kids that Nathan was fine and was going to be fine but Chaise was extra sensitive to his brother. We also figured out that some "well" meaning people we asking questions like "when will your brother have to get a lung transplant" "how much more time have they given him to live" and some other really horrible questions that sent me over the top when I found out. My first reaction was that I didn't need anyone asking such stupid questions to Nathan and conviencing him he was worse than he really was or that he was going to die and then I realized this was part of Chaises problem. Where we were reassuring the kids that Nathan was ok and that this was just part of his life, which on some level they already knew because they were so close in age (each is only 18 months a part, 3 years between Chaise and Nathan, Joe is in the middle of them), but I didn't realize that there were others putting these really horrible ideas into their heads that were not even close to the truth at this stage of the game.
Anyways, this started with Chaise when Nathan was about 4 or 5 and he was about 7 or 8. My advice is to play along with it, reassure her, take her to the hospital when its time for a tune-up, it may be more than just a 3 year old thing. She maybe really aware of her sister, feel a special bond, and not be able to put it into words as of yet. I do not think playing along with it will result in ER trips like Chaise but I do think it might prevent the ER trips. Chaise was and still is very sensitive with all of his siblings actually. Now that he is 17, there is absolutely nothing that he would not do for his brother if he asked. I think he would even change places with him if he could. Take this as an opportunity to teach her that this is to keep her sister healthy and that she is doing great. Also, be aware of others that maybe causing the problem that you are not aware of, someone asking questions that are not appropriate to be asking a child or saying things out of stupidity in her presence confusing her with what you are telling her verses what they are telling.
I bet she will grow out of it with time. At this age, kids want to be exactly like their older brother and sisters and may not outgrow that part of it until the pre-teen years, you know the period of time where they seem to "hate" one another and you worry if they will ever get along again.

Sorry, this got long and maybe more than you wanted to know. Good luck.

 

[pjspiegle]

not sure sharing this will help or scare you, but my oldest son had "sympathy pains" for his brother. I cannot tell you how many times Nathan would get admitted for a tune-up and Chaise would get so sick he would end up in the ER within a day or two of Nathans admission. The first few times, we thought it was his asthma, the next 3 or 4 times we were convienced he was having appendicitis, ant the last couple of times they figured out they were severe panic attacks. We of course always reassured the rest of the kids that Nathan was fine and was going to be fine but Chaise was extra sensitive to his brother. We also figured out that some "well" meaning people we asking questions like "when will your brother have to get a lung transplant" "how much more time have they given him to live" and some other really horrible questions that sent me over the top when I found out. My first reaction was that I didn't need anyone asking such stupid questions to Nathan and conviencing him he was worse than he really was or that he was going to die and then I realized this was part of Chaises problem. Where we were reassuring the kids that Nathan was ok and that this was just part of his life, which on some level they already knew because they were so close in age (each is only 18 months a part, 3 years between Chaise and Nathan, Joe is in the middle of them), but I didn't realize that there were others putting these really horrible ideas into their heads that were not even close to the truth at this stage of the game.
Anyways, this started with Chaise when Nathan was about 4 or 5 and he was about 7 or 8. My advice is to play along with it, reassure her, take her to the hospital when its time for a tune-up, it may be more than just a 3 year old thing. She maybe really aware of her sister, feel a special bond, and not be able to put it into words as of yet. I do not think playing along with it will result in ER trips like Chaise but I do think it might prevent the ER trips. Chaise was and still is very sensitive with all of his siblings actually. Now that he is 17, there is absolutely nothing that he would not do for his brother if he asked. I think he would even change places with him if he could. Take this as an opportunity to teach her that this is to keep her sister healthy and that she is doing great. Also, be aware of others that maybe causing the problem that you are not aware of, someone asking questions that are not appropriate to be asking a child or saying things out of stupidity in her presence confusing her with what you are telling her verses what they are telling.
I bet she will grow out of it with time. At this age, kids want to be exactly like their older brother and sisters and may not outgrow that part of it until the pre-teen years, you know the period of time where they seem to "hate" one another and you worry if they will ever get along again.

Sorry, this got long and maybe more than you wanted to know. Good luck.

 

[pjspiegle]

not sure sharing this will help or scare you, but my oldest son had "sympathy pains" for his brother. I cannot tell you how many times Nathan would get admitted for a tune-up and Chaise would get so sick he would end up in the ER within a day or two of Nathans admission. The first few times, we thought it was his asthma, the next 3 or 4 times we were convienced he was having appendicitis, ant the last couple of times they figured out they were severe panic attacks. We of course always reassured the rest of the kids that Nathan was fine and was going to be fine but Chaise was extra sensitive to his brother. We also figured out that some "well" meaning people we asking questions like "when will your brother have to get a lung transplant" "how much more time have they given him to live" and some other really horrible questions that sent me over the top when I found out. My first reaction was that I didn't need anyone asking such stupid questions to Nathan and conviencing him he was worse than he really was or that he was going to die and then I realized this was part of Chaises problem. Where we were reassuring the kids that Nathan was ok and that this was just part of his life, which on some level they already knew because they were so close in age (each is only 18 months a part, 3 years between Chaise and Nathan, Joe is in the middle of them), but I didn't realize that there were others putting these really horrible ideas into their heads that were not even close to the truth at this stage of the game.
Anyways, this started with Chaise when Nathan was about 4 or 5 and he was about 7 or 8. My advice is to play along with it, reassure her, take her to the hospital when its time for a tune-up, it may be more than just a 3 year old thing. She maybe really aware of her sister, feel a special bond, and not be able to put it into words as of yet. I do not think playing along with it will result in ER trips like Chaise but I do think it might prevent the ER trips. Chaise was and still is very sensitive with all of his siblings actually. Now that he is 17, there is absolutely nothing that he would not do for his brother if he asked. I think he would even change places with him if he could. Take this as an opportunity to teach her that this is to keep her sister healthy and that she is doing great. Also, be aware of others that maybe causing the problem that you are not aware of, someone asking questions that are not appropriate to be asking a child or saying things out of stupidity in her presence confusing her with what you are telling her verses what they are telling.
I bet she will grow out of it with time. At this age, kids want to be exactly like their older brother and sisters and may not outgrow that part of it until the pre-teen years, you know the period of time where they seem to "hate" one another and you worry if they will ever get along again.

Sorry, this got long and maybe more than you wanted to know. Good luck.

 

[pjspiegle]

not sure sharing this will help or scare you, but my oldest son had "sympathy pains" for his brother. I cannot tell you how many times Nathan would get admitted for a tune-up and Chaise would get so sick he would end up in the ER within a day or two of Nathans admission. The first few times, we thought it was his asthma, the next 3 or 4 times we were convienced he was having appendicitis, ant the last couple of times they figured out they were severe panic attacks. We of course always reassured the rest of the kids that Nathan was fine and was going to be fine but Chaise was extra sensitive to his brother. We also figured out that some "well" meaning people we asking questions like "when will your brother have to get a lung transplant" "how much more time have they given him to live" and some other really horrible questions that sent me over the top when I found out. My first reaction was that I didn't need anyone asking such stupid questions to Nathan and conviencing him he was worse than he really was or that he was going to die and then I realized this was part of Chaises problem. Where we were reassuring the kids that Nathan was ok and that this was just part of his life, which on some level they already knew because they were so close in age (each is only 18 months a part, 3 years between Chaise and Nathan, Joe is in the middle of them), but I didn't realize that there were others putting these really horrible ideas into their heads that were not even close to the truth at this stage of the game.
Anyways, this started with Chaise when Nathan was about 4 or 5 and he was about 7 or 8. My advice is to play along with it, reassure her, take her to the hospital when its time for a tune-up, it may be more than just a 3 year old thing. She maybe really aware of her sister, feel a special bond, and not be able to put it into words as of yet. I do not think playing along with it will result in ER trips like Chaise but I do think it might prevent the ER trips. Chaise was and still is very sensitive with all of his siblings actually. Now that he is 17, there is absolutely nothing that he would not do for his brother if he asked. I think he would even change places with him if he could. Take this as an opportunity to teach her that this is to keep her sister healthy and that she is doing great. Also, be aware of others that maybe causing the problem that you are not aware of, someone asking questions that are not appropriate to be asking a child or saying things out of stupidity in her presence confusing her with what you are telling her verses what they are telling.
I bet she will grow out of it with time. At this age, kids want to be exactly like their older brother and sisters and may not outgrow that part of it until the pre-teen years, you know the period of time where they seem to "hate" one another and you worry if they will ever get along again.

Sorry, this got long and maybe more than you wanted to know. Good luck.

 

[pjspiegle]

not sure sharing this will help or scare you, but my oldest son had "sympathy pains" for his brother. I cannot tell you how many times Nathan would get admitted for a tune-up and Chaise would get so sick he would end up in the ER within a day or two of Nathans admission. The first few times, we thought it was his asthma, the next 3 or 4 times we were convienced he was having appendicitis, ant the last couple of times they figured out they were severe panic attacks. We of course always reassured the rest of the kids that Nathan was fine and was going to be fine but Chaise was extra sensitive to his brother. We also figured out that some "well" meaning people we asking questions like "when will your brother have to get a lung transplant" "how much more time have they given him to live" and some other really horrible questions that sent me over the top when I found out. My first reaction was that I didn't need anyone asking such stupid questions to Nathan and conviencing him he was worse than he really was or that he was going to die and then I realized this was part of Chaises problem. Where we were reassuring the kids that Nathan was ok and that this was just part of his life, which on some level they already knew because they were so close in age (each is only 18 months a part, 3 years between Chaise and Nathan, Joe is in the middle of them), but I didn't realize that there were others putting these really horrible ideas into their heads that were not even close to the truth at this stage of the game.
<br />Anyways, this started with Chaise when Nathan was about 4 or 5 and he was about 7 or 8. My advice is to play along with it, reassure her, take her to the hospital when its time for a tune-up, it may be more than just a 3 year old thing. She maybe really aware of her sister, feel a special bond, and not be able to put it into words as of yet. I do not think playing along with it will result in ER trips like Chaise but I do think it might prevent the ER trips. Chaise was and still is very sensitive with all of his siblings actually. Now that he is 17, there is absolutely nothing that he would not do for his brother if he asked. I think he would even change places with him if he could. Take this as an opportunity to teach her that this is to keep her sister healthy and that she is doing great. Also, be aware of others that maybe causing the problem that you are not aware of, someone asking questions that are not appropriate to be asking a child or saying things out of stupidity in her presence confusing her with what you are telling her verses what they are telling.
<br />I bet she will grow out of it with time. At this age, kids want to be exactly like their older brother and sisters and may not outgrow that part of it until the pre-teen years, you know the period of time where they seem to "hate" one another and you worry if they will ever get along again.
<br />
<br />Sorry, this got long and maybe more than you wanted to know. Good luck.

 

[welshwitch]

when i was little my mom would let my little brother (no cf) participate in chest therapy....my mom would pat me and my little brother would stand behind her and pat her back! it was a cute little way for him to get involved....i like the smarties idea.

perhaps it would be important to emphasize that Abby is not SICK per se, she just needs these extra pills and treatments to STAY healthy! using the CF treatments as a "maintenence" thing rather than a "sick" thing....to have her understand the difference between the two concepts.

 

[welshwitch]

when i was little my mom would let my little brother (no cf) participate in chest therapy....my mom would pat me and my little brother would stand behind her and pat her back! it was a cute little way for him to get involved....i like the smarties idea.

perhaps it would be important to emphasize that Abby is not SICK per se, she just needs these extra pills and treatments to STAY healthy! using the CF treatments as a "maintenence" thing rather than a "sick" thing....to have her understand the difference between the two concepts.

 

[welshwitch]

when i was little my mom would let my little brother (no cf) participate in chest therapy....my mom would pat me and my little brother would stand behind her and pat her back! it was a cute little way for him to get involved....i like the smarties idea.

perhaps it would be important to emphasize that Abby is not SICK per se, she just needs these extra pills and treatments to STAY healthy! using the CF treatments as a "maintenence" thing rather than a "sick" thing....to have her understand the difference between the two concepts.

 

[welshwitch]

when i was little my mom would let my little brother (no cf) participate in chest therapy....my mom would pat me and my little brother would stand behind her and pat her back! it was a cute little way for him to get involved....i like the smarties idea.

perhaps it would be important to emphasize that Abby is not SICK per se, she just needs these extra pills and treatments to STAY healthy! using the CF treatments as a "maintenence" thing rather than a "sick" thing....to have her understand the difference between the two concepts.

 

[welshwitch]

when i was little my mom would let my little brother (no cf) participate in chest therapy....my mom would pat me and my little brother would stand behind her and pat her back! it was a cute little way for him to get involved....i like the smarties idea.
<br />
<br />perhaps it would be important to emphasize that Abby is not SICK per se, she just needs these extra pills and treatments to STAY healthy! using the CF treatments as a "maintenence" thing rather than a "sick" thing....to have her understand the difference between the two concepts.

 

[TonyaH]

Becca does pretty well with Andrew's schedule. Of course, she will be six...(SIX!!!, oh my goodness!) next month, but even when she was younger, she was a good helper. She helps count out Andrew's enzymes, and sits with him while he is doing his vest. I do notice that when Andrew comes home from the hospital she is a bit more clingy, which is to be expected. And this time when we came home she had a cold so she asked me to do therapy for her. So I laid on her bed with her and patted her back for awhile. I think they just need the reassurance that we are there for them, too. I see more psychological play with stuffed animals, etc. I think at this point every teddy bear we own has had his arm taped up with jump rope, shoe string, or something hanging off of it so she could administer meds through Teddy's picc line! The sad part is that our kids find all of this to be so normal! I worry what friends go home and tell their parents.

parent: "What did you do at Becca's today, sweetheart?"
child: "Oh, we took a BUN and creatinin for Teddy and started Strawberry Shortcakes home infusions."

I'm surprised I have not recieved any phone calls yet!

 

[TonyaH]

Becca does pretty well with Andrew's schedule. Of course, she will be six...(SIX!!!, oh my goodness!) next month, but even when she was younger, she was a good helper. She helps count out Andrew's enzymes, and sits with him while he is doing his vest. I do notice that when Andrew comes home from the hospital she is a bit more clingy, which is to be expected. And this time when we came home she had a cold so she asked me to do therapy for her. So I laid on her bed with her and patted her back for awhile. I think they just need the reassurance that we are there for them, too. I see more psychological play with stuffed animals, etc. I think at this point every teddy bear we own has had his arm taped up with jump rope, shoe string, or something hanging off of it so she could administer meds through Teddy's picc line! The sad part is that our kids find all of this to be so normal! I worry what friends go home and tell their parents.

parent: "What did you do at Becca's today, sweetheart?"
child: "Oh, we took a BUN and creatinin for Teddy and started Strawberry Shortcakes home infusions."

I'm surprised I have not recieved any phone calls yet!

 

[TonyaH]

Becca does pretty well with Andrew's schedule. Of course, she will be six...(SIX!!!, oh my goodness!) next month, but even when she was younger, she was a good helper. She helps count out Andrew's enzymes, and sits with him while he is doing his vest. I do notice that when Andrew comes home from the hospital she is a bit more clingy, which is to be expected. And this time when we came home she had a cold so she asked me to do therapy for her. So I laid on her bed with her and patted her back for awhile. I think they just need the reassurance that we are there for them, too. I see more psychological play with stuffed animals, etc. I think at this point every teddy bear we own has had his arm taped up with jump rope, shoe string, or something hanging off of it so she could administer meds through Teddy's picc line! The sad part is that our kids find all of this to be so normal! I worry what friends go home and tell their parents.

parent: "What did you do at Becca's today, sweetheart?"
child: "Oh, we took a BUN and creatinin for Teddy and started Strawberry Shortcakes home infusions."

I'm surprised I have not recieved any phone calls yet!

 

[TonyaH]

Becca does pretty well with Andrew's schedule. Of course, she will be six...(SIX!!!, oh my goodness!) next month, but even when she was younger, she was a good helper. She helps count out Andrew's enzymes, and sits with him while he is doing his vest. I do notice that when Andrew comes home from the hospital she is a bit more clingy, which is to be expected. And this time when we came home she had a cold so she asked me to do therapy for her. So I laid on her bed with her and patted her back for awhile. I think they just need the reassurance that we are there for them, too. I see more psychological play with stuffed animals, etc. I think at this point every teddy bear we own has had his arm taped up with jump rope, shoe string, or something hanging off of it so she could administer meds through Teddy's picc line! The sad part is that our kids find all of this to be so normal! I worry what friends go home and tell their parents.

parent: "What did you do at Becca's today, sweetheart?"
child: "Oh, we took a BUN and creatinin for Teddy and started Strawberry Shortcakes home infusions."

I'm surprised I have not recieved any phone calls yet!

 

[TonyaH]

Becca does pretty well with Andrew's schedule. Of course, she will be six...(SIX!!!, oh my goodness!) next month, but even when she was younger, she was a good helper. She helps count out Andrew's enzymes, and sits with him while he is doing his vest. I do notice that when Andrew comes home from the hospital she is a bit more clingy, which is to be expected. And this time when we came home she had a cold so she asked me to do therapy for her. So I laid on her bed with her and patted her back for awhile. I think they just need the reassurance that we are there for them, too. I see more psychological play with stuffed animals, etc. I think at this point every teddy bear we own has had his arm taped up with jump rope, shoe string, or something hanging off of it so she could administer meds through Teddy's picc line! The sad part is that our kids find all of this to be so normal! I worry what friends go home and tell their parents.
<br />
<br />parent: "What did you do at Becca's today, sweetheart?"
<br />child: "Oh, we took a BUN and creatinin for Teddy and started Strawberry Shortcakes home infusions."
<br />
<br />I'm surprised I have not recieved any phone calls yet!

 

[Munkeesmama]

I've noticed this with my 3 year old as well. We don't have a diagnosis yet but my youngest was a preemie, ongoing issues, and continuous testing. She's had a g-tube since she was 8 months old. We try to really downplay all of my daughters issues and treatments. We try to play games with my older ones. Incidently, by 3 year old says "my vagina hurts". She had a yeast infectione once awhile back, went to doc and got meds, she hasn't had one since but i think she says it for attention. So we just really downplay the medical stuff, even so far as trying to get one parent to do medical stuff in another room and other to play with the older two. Of course this doesn't work during the day, but i've noticed it helps. Is there a way you could possibly try letting your 3 year old "help" with cares to involve her? Maybe holding the treatments up to her younger sibling or hatever?

 

[Munkeesmama]

I've noticed this with my 3 year old as well. We don't have a diagnosis yet but my youngest was a preemie, ongoing issues, and continuous testing. She's had a g-tube since she was 8 months old. We try to really downplay all of my daughters issues and treatments. We try to play games with my older ones. Incidently, by 3 year old says "my vagina hurts". She had a yeast infectione once awhile back, went to doc and got meds, she hasn't had one since but i think she says it for attention. So we just really downplay the medical stuff, even so far as trying to get one parent to do medical stuff in another room and other to play with the older two. Of course this doesn't work during the day, but i've noticed it helps. Is there a way you could possibly try letting your 3 year old "help" with cares to involve her? Maybe holding the treatments up to her younger sibling or hatever?

 

[Munkeesmama]

I've noticed this with my 3 year old as well. We don't have a diagnosis yet but my youngest was a preemie, ongoing issues, and continuous testing. She's had a g-tube since she was 8 months old. We try to really downplay all of my daughters issues and treatments. We try to play games with my older ones. Incidently, by 3 year old says "my vagina hurts". She had a yeast infectione once awhile back, went to doc and got meds, she hasn't had one since but i think she says it for attention. So we just really downplay the medical stuff, even so far as trying to get one parent to do medical stuff in another room and other to play with the older two. Of course this doesn't work during the day, but i've noticed it helps. Is there a way you could possibly try letting your 3 year old "help" with cares to involve her? Maybe holding the treatments up to her younger sibling or hatever?

 

[Munkeesmama]

I've noticed this with my 3 year old as well. We don't have a diagnosis yet but my youngest was a preemie, ongoing issues, and continuous testing. She's had a g-tube since she was 8 months old. We try to really downplay all of my daughters issues and treatments. We try to play games with my older ones. Incidently, by 3 year old says "my vagina hurts". She had a yeast infectione once awhile back, went to doc and got meds, she hasn't had one since but i think she says it for attention. So we just really downplay the medical stuff, even so far as trying to get one parent to do medical stuff in another room and other to play with the older two. Of course this doesn't work during the day, but i've noticed it helps. Is there a way you could possibly try letting your 3 year old "help" with cares to involve her? Maybe holding the treatments up to her younger sibling or hatever?

 

[Munkeesmama]

I've noticed this with my 3 year old as well. We don't have a diagnosis yet but my youngest was a preemie, ongoing issues, and continuous testing. She's had a g-tube since she was 8 months old. We try to really downplay all of my daughters issues and treatments. We try to play games with my older ones. Incidently, by 3 year old says "my vagina hurts". She had a yeast infectione once awhile back, went to doc and got meds, she hasn't had one since but i think she says it for attention. So we just really downplay the medical stuff, even so far as trying to get one parent to do medical stuff in another room and other to play with the older two. Of course this doesn't work during the day, but i've noticed it helps. Is there a way you could possibly try letting your 3 year old "help" with cares to involve her? Maybe holding the treatments up to her younger sibling or hatever?