Has anyone experienced any problems with a non CF child (13 yr old girl) due to sister having CF (11 yr old girl) ?? I have heard that it can be common to have a child "act out" due to brother or sister having a disease. The non-Cf child has never said anything negative about sister w/ Cf.... but I wonder if she feels like sister gets more attention due to treatments, meds etc. Can anyone share their experiences w/ me?
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Sibling Problems due to CF
- Thread starter anonymous
- Start date
I think I have the opposite problem. My younger daughter (now 18) has always been overly worried about Emily (now almost 22). Every time Emily is sick or hospitalized, Jody asks what's going on and what's next and needs to know every detail so she can keep a close log on her sister. There was never any "Emily gets more attention than me" that I can remember (or maybe I am blocking it out) <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-confused.gif" border="0">
LoveShines4Austin
New member
There is a 5 year difference between Austin & Raquel. Raquel adores her big brother and he would do anything to keep her safe. I've been very blessed. I know that she is scared for her brother. I'm sure there are times when she has felt that he is getting more things because he is terminally ill...but we try to treat them equally. She never complains or asks for anything. You never know, that may all change when she hits her teenage years. I have always told them that I love them both with all my heart and that they were both conceived out of love, both wanted and that both of them are the center of my world...and I mean it <img src="i/expressions/heart.gif" border="0">
I think we have to remember, that in any family, the dynamics, normal or not, their will always be winners and losers, loved or hoping to feel loved ones!! I mean, if the sibling without CF, is trying to be involved in all possible aspects of the CF'ers life/or treatments, they could be seaking attention. In that I meen, "oh look, I'm the hero, so concern and so loving of my sick sibling". Or they are totally withdrawn, and act out, or do nasty things to get attention. Either way, they will always feel left out. GOOD attention or BAD attention is still ATTENTION. 2 and three and four years olds show us all the time, what attention seaking is all about. We just take it for granted, that they are normal 2,3 or 5 yr olds. However, their are differences in our cases. Ironnically, I tend to give more attention to my non-CFer then that of his sister with CF. I feel that everyone else (doctors and grand ma and grand pa ) give more to my CFer then my none CFer and expect my NON CFer to understand? At four yrs old, I don't think so!!!! It is very difficult to divide, if you will, what is most important...I have after five years, realized that so long as my daughter and son undoubtibly and unconditionnaly *spelling, absolutely LOVE AND ADORE each other for ever, and even if they hold any kind of resentment towards me!, I only pray that they will be there for each other for ever. It isn't about US,(parents) but about the children, children can make us see things differently they we think we see them. Therefore, don't think that compliance is a good thing, cause it could be a cry for attention! I insist my two children respect and adore each other and that they are best friends and nothing can ever change that. I know deep down I'm doing the right thing, I might not go around it the most subtle way, but I get my point accross. Don't disreguard GOOD or BAD behaviour cause one may be just a disquise for another feeling.
babyjaden2004
New member
For the most part my 10 year is great with his lttle sister. He has really learned alot of CF and helps with her care. I never push him, only when he asks to. He has his moments and it is hard when I can't do something with him cause I need to take care of her, but for the most part he is understanding. I really try and make time for him and I, we do a date night atleast once a week and it is nice for us.
My CF child is in the middle. My older daughter had "left out" feeling. Hated it when I had to be away from home when he was in the hospital, was demanding in order to feel like she had the same about of attention, and would pick on Cory. Now that she is older (21) she gets upset with the way she had acted when she was younger and is often woried about her brother. She still "picks" on him but admits that she does it to keep herself distant from her own fears. The 2 of them went to counsling together when they were about 10 to deal with some of the issues.
My 15 year old(the youngest) is always worried about his brother. Always wants to know what is going. He feels like he has to live his life stronger so he can live for both of them. His way of thinking has caused its own problems and he is currently in counseling too. he feels guilty because he can play basketball and his brother can't. He gets very defensive if anyone says anything about his brother. He gets all of his friends involved in fundraising and is more of the sensitive type of child.
CF is definately a FAMILY illness and affects all family members. Each one has there own way of dealing with the feelings. We ahve tried to be very open about what is going on with Cory and try to be sensitive to everyones feelings.
You can imagine the tears that have flowed with term papers, reports, and speeches that have been wrote by siblings telling about how they look up their brother, admire him, most influenced by him. We haven't shared any of them with Cory as Cory has his own feeling too. He doesn't want anyone to view him as different or to do anything differently because of him. I think sometimes he purposely picks aurguements with his siblings just so he has that "normal" feeling
My 15 year old(the youngest) is always worried about his brother. Always wants to know what is going. He feels like he has to live his life stronger so he can live for both of them. His way of thinking has caused its own problems and he is currently in counseling too. he feels guilty because he can play basketball and his brother can't. He gets very defensive if anyone says anything about his brother. He gets all of his friends involved in fundraising and is more of the sensitive type of child.
CF is definately a FAMILY illness and affects all family members. Each one has there own way of dealing with the feelings. We ahve tried to be very open about what is going on with Cory and try to be sensitive to everyones feelings.
You can imagine the tears that have flowed with term papers, reports, and speeches that have been wrote by siblings telling about how they look up their brother, admire him, most influenced by him. We haven't shared any of them with Cory as Cory has his own feeling too. He doesn't want anyone to view him as different or to do anything differently because of him. I think sometimes he purposely picks aurguements with his siblings just so he has that "normal" feeling