Single, Married or Divorced - Has CF hinder your personal life?

[FitForCF]

Well after 19 years of marriage I'm going to be divorced in a month. I have 3 adopted kids.

I will have to say, having CF has played a role in adopting the children, seeing that I couldn't have them. And it has put a small barrier in my marriage.

For the first five years or so, when I would get sick, my wife was still trying learn what to do and how to react. The next five years she kind of came to expect certain times of the year I would get sick, mostly winter. The next five years, she didn't pay too much attention, unless I went to the hospital and I think most of that was for the kids. What I think I'm trying to say is; she became a custom to my sickness and since I seem to always bounce back, she came to expect that each time.

Any way, care to shre your story?

 

[FitForCF]

Well after 19 years of marriage I'm going to be divorced in a month. I have 3 adopted kids.

I will have to say, having CF has played a role in adopting the children, seeing that I couldn't have them. And it has put a small barrier in my marriage.

For the first five years or so, when I would get sick, my wife was still trying learn what to do and how to react. The next five years she kind of came to expect certain times of the year I would get sick, mostly winter. The next five years, she didn't pay too much attention, unless I went to the hospital and I think most of that was for the kids. What I think I'm trying to say is; she became a custom to my sickness and since I seem to always bounce back, she came to expect that each time.

Any way, care to shre your story?

 

[FitForCF]

Well after 19 years of marriage I'm going to be divorced in a month. I have 3 adopted kids.
<br />
<br />I will have to say, having CF has played a role in adopting the children, seeing that I couldn't have them. And it has put a small barrier in my marriage.
<br />
<br />For the first five years or so, when I would get sick, my wife was still trying learn what to do and how to react. The next five years she kind of came to expect certain times of the year I would get sick, mostly winter. The next five years, she didn't pay too much attention, unless I went to the hospital and I think most of that was for the kids. What I think I'm trying to say is; she became a custom to my sickness and since I seem to always bounce back, she came to expect that each time.
<br />
<br />Any way, care to shre your story?
<br />

 

[katedids74]

I am a 36yo female with CF and I would say No, Cf has not hindered my personal life. I do tease my husband that he only married me because he thought I was dying. 5 months into dating my husband I was diagnosed with burkholderia cepacia and three months later we got engaged. We have now been married for 6 years, have one adopted 2 year old daughter and I have been cepacia free for 4 years now!! My sister has CF as well and has more heartbreak than I when it came to telling significant others about the disease, he did scare some away, me it did not!! She lost a fiance to cancer at the age of 31. It just goes to show you that we all have crosses to bare and its not just CF! She is now happily married with a baby on the way. It is always a struggle in our relationships when we are sick. We dont always seem or look sick so our husbands expect a lot from us that we cant give and it takes patience and some adjustment but we all are stronger in the end for it!! I am sorry FitForCF about your divorce, do you think you would be getting divorced if you didnt have CF? A social worker told me they have studied relationships and CF and our population has a much lower divorce rate than the general public. I wish you all the best.

 

[katedids74]

I am a 36yo female with CF and I would say No, Cf has not hindered my personal life. I do tease my husband that he only married me because he thought I was dying. 5 months into dating my husband I was diagnosed with burkholderia cepacia and three months later we got engaged. We have now been married for 6 years, have one adopted 2 year old daughter and I have been cepacia free for 4 years now!! My sister has CF as well and has more heartbreak than I when it came to telling significant others about the disease, he did scare some away, me it did not!! She lost a fiance to cancer at the age of 31. It just goes to show you that we all have crosses to bare and its not just CF! She is now happily married with a baby on the way. It is always a struggle in our relationships when we are sick. We dont always seem or look sick so our husbands expect a lot from us that we cant give and it takes patience and some adjustment but we all are stronger in the end for it!! I am sorry FitForCF about your divorce, do you think you would be getting divorced if you didnt have CF? A social worker told me they have studied relationships and CF and our population has a much lower divorce rate than the general public. I wish you all the best.

 

[katedids74]

I am a 36yo female with CF and I would say No, Cf has not hindered my personal life. I do tease my husband that he only married me because he thought I was dying. 5 months into dating my husband I was diagnosed with burkholderia cepacia and three months later we got engaged. We have now been married for 6 years, have one adopted 2 year old daughter and I have been cepacia free for 4 years now!! My sister has CF as well and has more heartbreak than I when it came to telling significant others about the disease, he did scare some away, me it did not!! She lost a fiance to cancer at the age of 31. It just goes to show you that we all have crosses to bare and its not just CF! She is now happily married with a baby on the way. It is always a struggle in our relationships when we are sick. We dont always seem or look sick so our husbands expect a lot from us that we cant give and it takes patience and some adjustment but we all are stronger in the end for it!! I am sorry FitForCF about your divorce, do you think you would be getting divorced if you didnt have CF? A social worker told me they have studied relationships and CF and our population has a much lower divorce rate than the general public. I wish you all the best.

 

[kambauer]

I am 34yo female w CF. I have been married for almost 12 years and would say CF has definitely hindered my relationship. The first 6 years were good and we just enjoyed being married. My health was great and never really an issue. The last six years we have been raising our two girls and it's been tough. My health has been pretty good considering I put my body through two girls. I think for us the effect of CF has been more mental. My husband is very closed off emotionally and rarely shows his feelings. In addition he has issues w alcohol which adds to the stress of our lives. He sometimes has trouble bonding w our girls and never wants to communicate w me when conflict arises. When we had our first daughter in 2005 I put 100% of my energy into being a mom and taking care of my health. While he went the other way and just pretty much shut down. Neither move was a good one and things pretty much fell apart about a year ago. We did counseling a couple of times which he told me did nothing for him and he didn't want to do it. Totally heartbreaking for me to hear him say that. Last fall after our worst fight things got better. I made the decision to give it one more try. I take things day by day. But I am beginning to wonder if I can be a good wife to any man. I love my husband but by the time I am a mom, a CF patient, a daughter who has a sick mom I just have very little left in me. I don't see how we make it another six years I really don't.
34 w CF/mom to Audrey and Mallorie no CF

 

[kambauer]

I am 34yo female w CF. I have been married for almost 12 years and would say CF has definitely hindered my relationship. The first 6 years were good and we just enjoyed being married. My health was great and never really an issue. The last six years we have been raising our two girls and it's been tough. My health has been pretty good considering I put my body through two girls. I think for us the effect of CF has been more mental. My husband is very closed off emotionally and rarely shows his feelings. In addition he has issues w alcohol which adds to the stress of our lives. He sometimes has trouble bonding w our girls and never wants to communicate w me when conflict arises. When we had our first daughter in 2005 I put 100% of my energy into being a mom and taking care of my health. While he went the other way and just pretty much shut down. Neither move was a good one and things pretty much fell apart about a year ago. We did counseling a couple of times which he told me did nothing for him and he didn't want to do it. Totally heartbreaking for me to hear him say that. Last fall after our worst fight things got better. I made the decision to give it one more try. I take things day by day. But I am beginning to wonder if I can be a good wife to any man. I love my husband but by the time I am a mom, a CF patient, a daughter who has a sick mom I just have very little left in me. I don't see how we make it another six years I really don't.
34 w CF/mom to Audrey and Mallorie no CF

 

[kambauer]

I am 34yo female w CF. I have been married for almost 12 years and would say CF has definitely hindered my relationship. The first 6 years were good and we just enjoyed being married. My health was great and never really an issue. The last six years we have been raising our two girls and it's been tough. My health has been pretty good considering I put my body through two girls. I think for us the effect of CF has been more mental. My husband is very closed off emotionally and rarely shows his feelings. In addition he has issues w alcohol which adds to the stress of our lives. He sometimes has trouble bonding w our girls and never wants to communicate w me when conflict arises. When we had our first daughter in 2005 I put 100% of my energy into being a mom and taking care of my health. While he went the other way and just pretty much shut down. Neither move was a good one and things pretty much fell apart about a year ago. We did counseling a couple of times which he told me did nothing for him and he didn't want to do it. Totally heartbreaking for me to hear him say that. Last fall after our worst fight things got better. I made the decision to give it one more try. I take things day by day. But I am beginning to wonder if I can be a good wife to any man. I love my husband but by the time I am a mom, a CF patient, a daughter who has a sick mom I just have very little left in me. I don't see how we make it another six years I really don't.
<br />34 w CF/mom to Audrey and Mallorie no CF