<P>Hi there. Im new to this site and think its pretty awesome! Anyhow I am interested in seeing if anyone here has a spouse who smokes. I have been married to my husband for 7 years. He was a heavy smoker before we met, but once he found out about my CF he quit cold turkey which I think is great. But a few years ago he started up again and its been really hard for me. He would NEVER smoke in the house or any place where I am, and in fact he never even lets me see him smoke. He even hid the fact that he started smoking again and I happened to find out by finding a pack in his dresser drawer. But its been a strain on our relationship because its hard for me to understand why he would do that to his lungs. He is really great about making sure that I keep myself healthy but at the same time hes not trying to keep himself healthy. Anyone else have a significant other or spouse who smokes? Thanks, Rebecca</P>
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smoking spouse
- Thread starter rrolands
- Start date
<P>Hi there. Im new to this site and think its pretty awesome! Anyhow I am interested in seeing if anyone here has a spouse who smokes. I have been married to my husband for 7 years. He was a heavy smoker before we met, but once he found out about my CF he quit cold turkey which I think is great. But a few years ago he started up again and its been really hard for me. He would NEVER smoke in the house or any place where I am, and in fact he never even lets me see him smoke.He even hid the fact that he started smoking again and I happened to find out by finding a pack in his dresser drawer. But its been a strain on our relationship because its hard for me to understand why he would do that to his lungs. He is really great about making sure that I keep myself healthy but at the same time hes not trying to keep himself healthy. Anyone else have a significant other or spouse who smokes?Thanks, Rebecca</P>
<P><BR>Hi there. Im new to this site and think its pretty awesome! Anyhow I am interested in seeing if anyone here has a spouse who smokes. I have been married to my husband for 7 years. He was a heavy smoker before we met, but once he found out about my CF he quit cold turkey which I think is great. But a few years ago he started up again and its been really hard for me. He would NEVER smoke in the house or any place where I am, and in fact he never even lets me see him smoke.He even hid the fact that he started smoking again and I happened to find out by finding a pack in his dresser drawer. But its been a strain on our relationship because its hard for me to understand why he would do that to his lungs. He is really great about making sure that I keep myself healthy but at the same time hes not trying to keep himself healthy. Anyone else have a significant other or spouse who smokes?Thanks, Rebecca</P>
My name is Chrissy and welcome to the site! I am 34 with CF, diagnosed at 21.
On to your question. Before I was diagnosed I grew up in a house where my mom was a smoker. Even though I had been diagnosed with asthma and chronic bronchitis she still smoked. I was sick all of the time and my breathing was awful. I was finally diagnosed when I was 21, snd I didn't live at home. She say she would have quit if she had know but she was/is so heavily addicted I don't know if she would have. I still have issues just being around her when she isn't smoking, and I have been trying to get her to quit!
Addiction to cigarrettes can have a strong pull. Has he ever been to a CF appointment with you? Maybe you could get your doctor to talk with him?
Chrissy
On to your question. Before I was diagnosed I grew up in a house where my mom was a smoker. Even though I had been diagnosed with asthma and chronic bronchitis she still smoked. I was sick all of the time and my breathing was awful. I was finally diagnosed when I was 21, snd I didn't live at home. She say she would have quit if she had know but she was/is so heavily addicted I don't know if she would have. I still have issues just being around her when she isn't smoking, and I have been trying to get her to quit!
Addiction to cigarrettes can have a strong pull. Has he ever been to a CF appointment with you? Maybe you could get your doctor to talk with him?
Chrissy
My name is Chrissy and welcome to the site! I am 34 with CF, diagnosed at 21.
On to your question. Before I was diagnosed I grew up in a house where my mom was a smoker. Even though I had been diagnosed with asthma and chronic bronchitis she still smoked. I was sick all of the time and my breathing was awful. I was finally diagnosed when I was 21, snd I didn't live at home. She say she would have quit if she had know but she was/is so heavily addicted I don't know if she would have. I still have issues just being around her when she isn't smoking, and I have been trying to get her to quit!
Addiction to cigarrettes can have a strong pull. Has he ever been to a CF appointment with you? Maybe you could get your doctor to talk with him?
Chrissy
On to your question. Before I was diagnosed I grew up in a house where my mom was a smoker. Even though I had been diagnosed with asthma and chronic bronchitis she still smoked. I was sick all of the time and my breathing was awful. I was finally diagnosed when I was 21, snd I didn't live at home. She say she would have quit if she had know but she was/is so heavily addicted I don't know if she would have. I still have issues just being around her when she isn't smoking, and I have been trying to get her to quit!
Addiction to cigarrettes can have a strong pull. Has he ever been to a CF appointment with you? Maybe you could get your doctor to talk with him?
Chrissy
My name is Chrissy and welcome to the site! I am 34 with CF, diagnosed at 21.
<br />
<br />On to your question. Before I was diagnosed I grew up in a house where my mom was a smoker. Even though I had been diagnosed with asthma and chronic bronchitis she still smoked. I was sick all of the time and my breathing was awful. I was finally diagnosed when I was 21, snd I didn't live at home. She say she would have quit if she had know but she was/is so heavily addicted I don't know if she would have. I still have issues just being around her when she isn't smoking, and I have been trying to get her to quit!
<br />
<br />Addiction to cigarrettes can have a strong pull. Has he ever been to a CF appointment with you? Maybe you could get your doctor to talk with him?
<br />
<br />Chrissy
<br />
<br />On to your question. Before I was diagnosed I grew up in a house where my mom was a smoker. Even though I had been diagnosed with asthma and chronic bronchitis she still smoked. I was sick all of the time and my breathing was awful. I was finally diagnosed when I was 21, snd I didn't live at home. She say she would have quit if she had know but she was/is so heavily addicted I don't know if she would have. I still have issues just being around her when she isn't smoking, and I have been trying to get her to quit!
<br />
<br />Addiction to cigarrettes can have a strong pull. Has he ever been to a CF appointment with you? Maybe you could get your doctor to talk with him?
<br />
<br />Chrissy
serendipity730
New member
<P>Hi and welcome to the site!</P>
<P> </P>
<P>I don't have much personal experience with smokers, but my in-laws do smoke. They used to smoke in the house (and probably still do when I am not around), but they *mostly* respect that because of my CF smoking around me is a big no-no.</P>
<P> </P>
<P>It might be helpful to have your doctor (depending on the kind of relationship you have with him or her) speak to your husband about the affects of second hand smoke on CFers. </P>
<P> </P>
<P>I am also wondering if there is some new stressor in his life that could be alleviated somehow (counseling, etc). There are also a lot of great new meds for smoking cessation. My brother-in-law quit with the help of Chantix.</P>
<P> </P>
<P>Best of luck!</P>
<P> </P>
<P>I don't have much personal experience with smokers, but my in-laws do smoke. They used to smoke in the house (and probably still do when I am not around), but they *mostly* respect that because of my CF smoking around me is a big no-no.</P>
<P> </P>
<P>It might be helpful to have your doctor (depending on the kind of relationship you have with him or her) speak to your husband about the affects of second hand smoke on CFers. </P>
<P> </P>
<P>I am also wondering if there is some new stressor in his life that could be alleviated somehow (counseling, etc). There are also a lot of great new meds for smoking cessation. My brother-in-law quit with the help of Chantix.</P>
<P> </P>
<P>Best of luck!</P>
serendipity730
New member
<P>Hi and welcome to the site!</P>
<P></P>
<P>I don't have much personal experience with smokers, but my in-laws do smoke. They used to smoke in the house (and probably still do when I am not around), but they *mostly* respect that because of my CF smoking around me is a big no-no.</P>
<P></P>
<P>It might be helpful to have your doctor (depending on the kind of relationship you have with him or her) speak to your husband about the affects of second hand smoke on CFers. </P>
<P></P>
<P>I am also wondering if there is some new stressor in his life that could be alleviated somehow (counseling, etc). There are also a lot of great new meds for smoking cessation. My brother-in-law quit with the help of Chantix.</P>
<P></P>
<P>Best of luck!</P>
<P></P>
<P>I don't have much personal experience with smokers, but my in-laws do smoke. They used to smoke in the house (and probably still do when I am not around), but they *mostly* respect that because of my CF smoking around me is a big no-no.</P>
<P></P>
<P>It might be helpful to have your doctor (depending on the kind of relationship you have with him or her) speak to your husband about the affects of second hand smoke on CFers. </P>
<P></P>
<P>I am also wondering if there is some new stressor in his life that could be alleviated somehow (counseling, etc). There are also a lot of great new meds for smoking cessation. My brother-in-law quit with the help of Chantix.</P>
<P></P>
<P>Best of luck!</P>
serendipity730
New member
<P>Hi and welcome to the site!</P>
<P></P>
<P>I don't have much personal experience with smokers, but my in-laws do smoke. They used to smoke in the house (and probably still do when I am not around), but they *mostly* respect that because of my CF smoking around me is a big no-no.</P>
<P></P>
<P>It might be helpful to have your doctor (depending on the kind of relationship you have with him or her) speak to your husband about the affects of second hand smoke on CFers. </P>
<P></P>
<P>I am also wondering if there is some new stressor in his life that could be alleviated somehow (counseling, etc). There are also a lot of great new meds for smoking cessation. My brother-in-law quit with the help of Chantix.</P>
<P></P>
<P>Best of luck!</P>
<P></P>
<P>I don't have much personal experience with smokers, but my in-laws do smoke. They used to smoke in the house (and probably still do when I am not around), but they *mostly* respect that because of my CF smoking around me is a big no-no.</P>
<P></P>
<P>It might be helpful to have your doctor (depending on the kind of relationship you have with him or her) speak to your husband about the affects of second hand smoke on CFers. </P>
<P></P>
<P>I am also wondering if there is some new stressor in his life that could be alleviated somehow (counseling, etc). There are also a lot of great new meds for smoking cessation. My brother-in-law quit with the help of Chantix.</P>
<P></P>
<P>Best of luck!</P>
Incomudrox
New member
My opinion is this, you don't have to agree with it but here goes.. If someone wants to smoke and it is not physically bothering you then I'd let them. I have learned in more ways than one you shouldn't try to change someone in a relationship, because then the relationship changes. My ex girlfriend smoked starting around 7 years old. Nothing extreme... when we got together she was 17 and smoked on occasion but stopped smoking when we got a place together. After 2 years she started smoking again on occasion for example I bought her a pack around thanks giving on year, she was still smoking the same pack Easter the next year. Because she smoked so little she started rolling her own which is actually much better non of the junk in them and i could tell the difference because the smoke didn't even make me flinch, as opposed to a normal store bought cigarette from a pack. She would never smoke by me she'd always go outside when she did but I usually followed because I was intrigued by it. We eventually broke up for other reasons after 4 years. But I think if I would have made a big deal out of it, that would have been sooner and for me I saw no reason to make a huge deal out of it.
<br>
<br>The way I see your situation is YOU knew he smoked BEFORE he knew you had CF, so that was your chance to say this is a bad idea. He tried and seemingly in the end was unsuccessful at a permanent quit it doesn't mean he doesn't care about you and you don't seem to be saying that at all. Your problem is why we would he take for granted something that we/you struggle to hold on to day by day. I think the answer in it's simplest form is that people have the freedom and choice to do what they want. Everyone needs their "thing" smoking is a lot of peoples "thing". I'd say unless its overly excessive 1pk/day leave it go until it starts affecting you.
<br>
<br>thats my two cents.
<br>
<br>The way I see your situation is YOU knew he smoked BEFORE he knew you had CF, so that was your chance to say this is a bad idea. He tried and seemingly in the end was unsuccessful at a permanent quit it doesn't mean he doesn't care about you and you don't seem to be saying that at all. Your problem is why we would he take for granted something that we/you struggle to hold on to day by day. I think the answer in it's simplest form is that people have the freedom and choice to do what they want. Everyone needs their "thing" smoking is a lot of peoples "thing". I'd say unless its overly excessive 1pk/day leave it go until it starts affecting you.
<br>
<br>thats my two cents.
Incomudrox
New member
My opinion is this, you don't have to agree with it but here goes.. If someone wants to smoke and it is not physically bothering you then I'd let them. I have learned in more ways than one you shouldn't try to change someone in a relationship, because then the relationship changes. My ex girlfriend smoked starting around 7 years old. Nothing extreme... when we got together she was 17 and smoked on occasion but stopped smoking when we got a place together. After 2 years she started smoking again on occasion for example I bought her a pack around thanks giving on year, she was still smoking the same pack Easter the next year. Because she smoked so little she started rolling her own which is actually much better non of the junk in them and i could tell the difference because the smoke didn't even make me flinch, as opposed to a normal store bought cigarette from a pack. She would never smoke by me she'd always go outside when she did but I usually followed because I was intrigued by it. We eventually broke up for other reasons after 4 years. But I think if I would have made a big deal out of it, that would have been sooner and for me I saw no reason to make a huge deal out of it.
<br>
<br>The way I see your situation is YOU knew he smoked BEFORE he knew you had CF, so that was your chance to say this is a bad idea. He tried and seemingly in the end was unsuccessful at a permanent quit it doesn't mean he doesn't care about you and you don't seem to be saying that at all. Your problem is why we would he take for granted something that we/you struggle to hold on to day by day. I think the answer in it's simplest form is that people have the freedom and choice to do what they want. Everyone needs their "thing" smoking is a lot of peoples "thing". I'd say unless its overly excessive 1pk/day leave it go until it starts affecting you.
<br>
<br>thats my two cents.
<br>
<br>The way I see your situation is YOU knew he smoked BEFORE he knew you had CF, so that was your chance to say this is a bad idea. He tried and seemingly in the end was unsuccessful at a permanent quit it doesn't mean he doesn't care about you and you don't seem to be saying that at all. Your problem is why we would he take for granted something that we/you struggle to hold on to day by day. I think the answer in it's simplest form is that people have the freedom and choice to do what they want. Everyone needs their "thing" smoking is a lot of peoples "thing". I'd say unless its overly excessive 1pk/day leave it go until it starts affecting you.
<br>
<br>thats my two cents.
Incomudrox
New member
My opinion is this, you don't have to agree with it but here goes.. If someone wants to smoke and it is not physically bothering you then I'd let them. I have learned in more ways than one you shouldn't try to change someone in a relationship, because then the relationship changes. My ex girlfriend smoked starting around 7 years old. Nothing extreme... when we got together she was 17 and smoked on occasion but stopped smoking when we got a place together. After 2 years she started smoking again on occasion for example I bought her a pack around thanks giving on year, she was still smoking the same pack Easter the next year. Because she smoked so little she started rolling her own which is actually much better non of the junk in them and i could tell the difference because the smoke didn't even make me flinch, as opposed to a normal store bought cigarette from a pack. She would never smoke by me she'd always go outside when she did but I usually followed because I was intrigued by it. We eventually broke up for other reasons after 4 years. But I think if I would have made a big deal out of it, that would have been sooner and for me I saw no reason to make a huge deal out of it.
<br>
<br>The way I see your situation is YOU knew he smoked BEFORE he knew you had CF, so that was your chance to say this is a bad idea. He tried and seemingly in the end was unsuccessful at a permanent quit it doesn't mean he doesn't care about you and you don't seem to be saying that at all. Your problem is why we would he take for granted something that we/you struggle to hold on to day by day. I think the answer in it's simplest form is that people have the freedom and choice to do what they want. Everyone needs their "thing" smoking is a lot of peoples "thing". I'd say unless its overly excessive 1pk/day leave it go until it starts affecting you.
<br>
<br>thats my two cents.
<br>
<br>The way I see your situation is YOU knew he smoked BEFORE he knew you had CF, so that was your chance to say this is a bad idea. He tried and seemingly in the end was unsuccessful at a permanent quit it doesn't mean he doesn't care about you and you don't seem to be saying that at all. Your problem is why we would he take for granted something that we/you struggle to hold on to day by day. I think the answer in it's simplest form is that people have the freedom and choice to do what they want. Everyone needs their "thing" smoking is a lot of peoples "thing". I'd say unless its overly excessive 1pk/day leave it go until it starts affecting you.
<br>
<br>thats my two cents.
I joined here a few years ago but for some reason I had to do it all again.Anyway my husband smokes and not occassional.We have a son with cf whom has had alot of illness.My husband always smokes outside and away but we still smell it when he comes back.It really bothers me! I love him but our responsility as parents weighs on me that he should have quite.Just my feelings on it.I am sorry for your situation Rebecca.....my prayers to you.
Chrissy: I have not been genetic tested like my children,but I was diagnosed with chronic bronchitis when I was a baby ,later diagnosed with asthma lots of resp. problems/ illnesses.My mother and other family always smoked right next to me .Your post reminded me of my own situation and I was wondering how you finally were diagnosed with cf and what all symptoms you struggled with?
Chrissy: I have not been genetic tested like my children,but I was diagnosed with chronic bronchitis when I was a baby ,later diagnosed with asthma lots of resp. problems/ illnesses.My mother and other family always smoked right next to me .Your post reminded me of my own situation and I was wondering how you finally were diagnosed with cf and what all symptoms you struggled with?
I joined here a few years ago but for some reason I had to do it all again.Anyway my husband smokes and not occassional.We have a son with cf whom has had alot of illness.My husband always smokes outside and away but we still smell it when he comes back.It really bothers me! I love him but our responsility as parents weighs on me that he should have quite.Just my feelings on it.I am sorry for your situation Rebecca.....my prayers to you.
Chrissy: I have not been genetic tested like my children,but I was diagnosed with chronic bronchitis when I was a baby ,later diagnosed with asthma lots of resp. problems/ illnesses.My mother and other family always smoked right next to me .Your post reminded me of my own situation and I was wondering how you finally were diagnosed with cf and what all symptoms you struggled with?
Chrissy: I have not been genetic tested like my children,but I was diagnosed with chronic bronchitis when I was a baby ,later diagnosed with asthma lots of resp. problems/ illnesses.My mother and other family always smoked right next to me .Your post reminded me of my own situation and I was wondering how you finally were diagnosed with cf and what all symptoms you struggled with?
I joined here a few years ago but for some reason I had to do it all again.Anyway my husband smokes and not occassional.We have a son with cf whom has had alot of illness.My husband always smokes outside and away but we still smell it when he comes back.It really bothers me! I love him but our responsility as parents weighs on me that he should have quite.Just my feelings on it.I am sorry for your situation Rebecca.....my prayers to you.
<br />
<br />Chrissy: I have not been genetic tested like my children,but I was diagnosed with chronic bronchitis when I was a baby ,later diagnosed with asthma lots of resp. problems/ illnesses.My mother and other family always smoked right next to me .Your post reminded me of my own situation and I was wondering how you finally were diagnosed with cf and what all symptoms you struggled with?
<br />
<br />Chrissy: I have not been genetic tested like my children,but I was diagnosed with chronic bronchitis when I was a baby ,later diagnosed with asthma lots of resp. problems/ illnesses.My mother and other family always smoked right next to me .Your post reminded me of my own situation and I was wondering how you finally were diagnosed with cf and what all symptoms you struggled with?
Dezzys5,
I always had some sort of cold, ear infection or sinus infection going on when I was younger. I coughed all of the time and was alway wheezy and stuffy. When I was a baby my mom asked the doctor about CF (because I tasted salty) and he told her that if I had CF I'd be a lot sicker. So as I grew up everyone believed I wasn't "sick enough" to have CF. At 16 I started having many digestion problems, and while in the hospital having my gall bladder removed the doctors noticed I had some additional problems. (I have another genetic disease, mitochondrial mutation which cause a mitochondrial disease) I got sent to NIH in Bethesda, MD and finally complained about always being sick and coughing. The tested me, and sure enough it was positive.
I always had some sort of cold, ear infection or sinus infection going on when I was younger. I coughed all of the time and was alway wheezy and stuffy. When I was a baby my mom asked the doctor about CF (because I tasted salty) and he told her that if I had CF I'd be a lot sicker. So as I grew up everyone believed I wasn't "sick enough" to have CF. At 16 I started having many digestion problems, and while in the hospital having my gall bladder removed the doctors noticed I had some additional problems. (I have another genetic disease, mitochondrial mutation which cause a mitochondrial disease) I got sent to NIH in Bethesda, MD and finally complained about always being sick and coughing. The tested me, and sure enough it was positive.
Dezzys5,
I always had some sort of cold, ear infection or sinus infection going on when I was younger. I coughed all of the time and was alway wheezy and stuffy. When I was a baby my mom asked the doctor about CF (because I tasted salty) and he told her that if I had CF I'd be a lot sicker. So as I grew up everyone believed I wasn't "sick enough" to have CF. At 16 I started having many digestion problems, and while in the hospital having my gall bladder removed the doctors noticed I had some additional problems. (I have another genetic disease, mitochondrial mutation which cause a mitochondrial disease) I got sent to NIH in Bethesda, MD and finally complained about always being sick and coughing. The tested me, and sure enough it was positive.
I always had some sort of cold, ear infection or sinus infection going on when I was younger. I coughed all of the time and was alway wheezy and stuffy. When I was a baby my mom asked the doctor about CF (because I tasted salty) and he told her that if I had CF I'd be a lot sicker. So as I grew up everyone believed I wasn't "sick enough" to have CF. At 16 I started having many digestion problems, and while in the hospital having my gall bladder removed the doctors noticed I had some additional problems. (I have another genetic disease, mitochondrial mutation which cause a mitochondrial disease) I got sent to NIH in Bethesda, MD and finally complained about always being sick and coughing. The tested me, and sure enough it was positive.
Dezzys5,
<br />
<br />I always had some sort of cold, ear infection or sinus infection going on when I was younger. I coughed all of the time and was alway wheezy and stuffy. When I was a baby my mom asked the doctor about CF (because I tasted salty) and he told her that if I had CF I'd be a lot sicker. So as I grew up everyone believed I wasn't "sick enough" to have CF. At 16 I started having many digestion problems, and while in the hospital having my gall bladder removed the doctors noticed I had some additional problems. (I have another genetic disease, mitochondrial mutation which cause a mitochondrial disease) I got sent to NIH in Bethesda, MD and finally complained about always being sick and coughing. The tested me, and sure enough it was positive.
<br />
<br />I always had some sort of cold, ear infection or sinus infection going on when I was younger. I coughed all of the time and was alway wheezy and stuffy. When I was a baby my mom asked the doctor about CF (because I tasted salty) and he told her that if I had CF I'd be a lot sicker. So as I grew up everyone believed I wasn't "sick enough" to have CF. At 16 I started having many digestion problems, and while in the hospital having my gall bladder removed the doctors noticed I had some additional problems. (I have another genetic disease, mitochondrial mutation which cause a mitochondrial disease) I got sent to NIH in Bethesda, MD and finally complained about always being sick and coughing. The tested me, and sure enough it was positive.
My story is much different. As a child both of my parents were smokers. My mother smoked until I was about 17 and my Father smoked until he was about 70. Dad smoked about one cigarette each hour, mom slightly less. The smoking was done in the house, nobody went outdoors to smoke in those days. In the cold weather months the smell of smoke was always strong.
I don't know what all of this means except that perhaps unless you are directly effected by the smoke, it may not be that serious.
Just another opinion.
Bill
I don't know what all of this means except that perhaps unless you are directly effected by the smoke, it may not be that serious.
Just another opinion.
Bill
My story is much different. As a child both of my parents were smokers. My mother smoked until I was about 17 and my Father smoked until he was about 70. Dad smoked about one cigarette each hour, mom slightly less. The smoking was done in the house, nobody went outdoors to smoke in those days. In the cold weather months the smell of smoke was always strong.
I don't know what all of this means except that perhaps unless you are directly effected by the smoke, it may not be that serious.
Just another opinion.
Bill
I don't know what all of this means except that perhaps unless you are directly effected by the smoke, it may not be that serious.
Just another opinion.
Bill