Son going off to college!

GB91361 · Mar 31, 2007

I am new to this site. This is my first posting. I have 2 sons with CF. and my oldest (17) will be going away to college in the Fall. I am almost sick with fear already. I know I have to let go. But I am still mom here no matter how old they get. I am so afraid he want do what's he's suppose to do when it comes to taking care of him self.

I am extremely proud of my sons. They have both done very well. In school, health wise, and in sports (tennis). Please tell me how I can get it across to him that just because I'm not there anymore standing over him does not mean that the meds and treatments can stop. (we have to fight sometimes now about it)
he feels he's to busy to stop and give time to this. He has things to do he says!

My kids have always been taught from very young about doing there own meds. and CPT, but since he's gotten older and going out on his own, he tends to cut the treatments short, or forgets to take his meds. His excuse it "he don't have time, he's got things to do) I have told him many times that if this don't come first, he'll end sick and not be able to do anything!

Thanks for any input.

Gloria

GB91361 · Mar 31, 2007

I am new to this site. This is my first posting. I have 2 sons with CF. and my oldest (17) will be going away to college in the Fall. I am almost sick with fear already. I know I have to let go. But I am still mom here no matter how old they get. I am so afraid he want do what's he's suppose to do when it comes to taking care of him self.

I am extremely proud of my sons. They have both done very well. In school, health wise, and in sports (tennis). Please tell me how I can get it across to him that just because I'm not there anymore standing over him does not mean that the meds and treatments can stop. (we have to fight sometimes now about it)
he feels he's to busy to stop and give time to this. He has things to do he says!

My kids have always been taught from very young about doing there own meds. and CPT, but since he's gotten older and going out on his own, he tends to cut the treatments short, or forgets to take his meds. His excuse it "he don't have time, he's got things to do) I have told him many times that if this don't come first, he'll end sick and not be able to do anything!

Thanks for any input.

Gloria

GB91361 · Mar 31, 2007

I am new to this site. This is my first posting. I have 2 sons with CF. and my oldest (17) will be going away to college in the Fall. I am almost sick with fear already. I know I have to let go. But I am still mom here no matter how old they get. I am so afraid he want do what's he's suppose to do when it comes to taking care of him self.

I am extremely proud of my sons. They have both done very well. In school, health wise, and in sports (tennis). Please tell me how I can get it across to him that just because I'm not there anymore standing over him does not mean that the meds and treatments can stop. (we have to fight sometimes now about it)
he feels he's to busy to stop and give time to this. He has things to do he says!

My kids have always been taught from very young about doing there own meds. and CPT, but since he's gotten older and going out on his own, he tends to cut the treatments short, or forgets to take his meds. His excuse it "he don't have time, he's got things to do) I have told him many times that if this don't come first, he'll end sick and not be able to do anything!

Thanks for any input.

Gloria

NoExcuses · Mar 31, 2007

Well him doing meds on his own is something that should have started years ago.... a gradual transition from early teen years is the best way to set a young adult up for success when heading off to college. A sudden, aburpt change isn't ideal.

But ultimately it's his health. Some kids experiment. And if he doesn't do his meds, he'll soon find that his health will deteriorate rapidly.

If he doens't have the life skills at 17 to do his meds, he'll have to learn quickly in college (and there's nothing you can do to accelerate that learning curve when he's away).

I would start with your younger son now transitioning to doing his care on his own... as you can see, waiting until the last minute isn't very effective.

-Amy, 25 with CF, FEV1 95%

NoExcuses · Mar 31, 2007

Well him doing meds on his own is something that should have started years ago.... a gradual transition from early teen years is the best way to set a young adult up for success when heading off to college. A sudden, aburpt change isn't ideal.

But ultimately it's his health. Some kids experiment. And if he doesn't do his meds, he'll soon find that his health will deteriorate rapidly.

If he doens't have the life skills at 17 to do his meds, he'll have to learn quickly in college (and there's nothing you can do to accelerate that learning curve when he's away).

I would start with your younger son now transitioning to doing his care on his own... as you can see, waiting until the last minute isn't very effective.

-Amy, 25 with CF, FEV1 95%

NoExcuses · Mar 31, 2007

Well him doing meds on his own is something that should have started years ago.... a gradual transition from early teen years is the best way to set a young adult up for success when heading off to college. A sudden, aburpt change isn't ideal.

But ultimately it's his health. Some kids experiment. And if he doesn't do his meds, he'll soon find that his health will deteriorate rapidly.

If he doens't have the life skills at 17 to do his meds, he'll have to learn quickly in college (and there's nothing you can do to accelerate that learning curve when he's away).

I would start with your younger son now transitioning to doing his care on his own... as you can see, waiting until the last minute isn't very effective.

-Amy, 25 with CF, FEV1 95%

AnD · Mar 31, 2007

You might want to call his cf clinic, and see if they have someone who can talk to him about going off to college and how important it is that he keep up his routine of meds and therapy, above any and everything else (including social activities and grades- a class can always be dropped or retaken, lung function drops can be much more unforgiving) at his next clinic appointment. It may carry more weight if it comes from a medical professional who sees a lot of cfers his age going off to college, and in college, than from "Mom, who always worries about everything" <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif" border="0"> . I'm sure that there is some kind of printed info somewhere these days from the cf foundation; perhaps someone here can help you find out better than I can (it's been a long time since I was in college <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif" border="0"> .

AnD · Mar 31, 2007

You might want to call his cf clinic, and see if they have someone who can talk to him about going off to college and how important it is that he keep up his routine of meds and therapy, above any and everything else (including social activities and grades- a class can always be dropped or retaken, lung function drops can be much more unforgiving) at his next clinic appointment. It may carry more weight if it comes from a medical professional who sees a lot of cfers his age going off to college, and in college, than from "Mom, who always worries about everything" <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif" border="0"> . I'm sure that there is some kind of printed info somewhere these days from the cf foundation; perhaps someone here can help you find out better than I can (it's been a long time since I was in college <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif" border="0"> .

AnD · Mar 31, 2007

You might want to call his cf clinic, and see if they have someone who can talk to him about going off to college and how important it is that he keep up his routine of meds and therapy, above any and everything else (including social activities and grades- a class can always be dropped or retaken, lung function drops can be much more unforgiving) at his next clinic appointment. It may carry more weight if it comes from a medical professional who sees a lot of cfers his age going off to college, and in college, than from "Mom, who always worries about everything" <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif" border="0"> . I'm sure that there is some kind of printed info somewhere these days from the cf foundation; perhaps someone here can help you find out better than I can (it's been a long time since I was in college <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif" border="0"> .

GB91361 · Mar 31, 2007

Thanks for the replies. I think I might need to go back and edit my letter some. When I made the comment how I have to stand over him, I'm sorry I didn't mean that I actually take part in doing his treatments. After reading the replies I can certainly understand why you thought that this was what I was doing. I apologize for the misinformation. No, my son does his own meds and treatments. He is very responsible to some degree. We have worked with both boys from very young. They have always been really great about it until he became older and able to go on his own and out with friends, girlfriends, ballgames, etc. Now he feels he's just to busy and don't have the time. What I meant by the comment of standing over him is we argue over this and I catch him shaving off a few minutes of his CPT, forgets to take his meds., don't complete the entire breathing treatment, etc. just cutting them short. But again, thank you for bringing this to my attention. You are absolutely right. They must be taught from very young.

Gloria

GB91361 · Mar 31, 2007

Thanks for the replies. I think I might need to go back and edit my letter some. When I made the comment how I have to stand over him, I'm sorry I didn't mean that I actually take part in doing his treatments. After reading the replies I can certainly understand why you thought that this was what I was doing. I apologize for the misinformation. No, my son does his own meds and treatments. He is very responsible to some degree. We have worked with both boys from very young. They have always been really great about it until he became older and able to go on his own and out with friends, girlfriends, ballgames, etc. Now he feels he's just to busy and don't have the time. What I meant by the comment of standing over him is we argue over this and I catch him shaving off a few minutes of his CPT, forgets to take his meds., don't complete the entire breathing treatment, etc. just cutting them short. But again, thank you for bringing this to my attention. You are absolutely right. They must be taught from very young.

Gloria

GB91361 · Mar 31, 2007

Thanks for the replies. I think I might need to go back and edit my letter some. When I made the comment how I have to stand over him, I'm sorry I didn't mean that I actually take part in doing his treatments. After reading the replies I can certainly understand why you thought that this was what I was doing. I apologize for the misinformation. No, my son does his own meds and treatments. He is very responsible to some degree. We have worked with both boys from very young. They have always been really great about it until he became older and able to go on his own and out with friends, girlfriends, ballgames, etc. Now he feels he's just to busy and don't have the time. What I meant by the comment of standing over him is we argue over this and I catch him shaving off a few minutes of his CPT, forgets to take his meds., don't complete the entire breathing treatment, etc. just cutting them short. But again, thank you for bringing this to my attention. You are absolutely right. They must be taught from very young.

Gloria

kayleesgrandma · Mar 31, 2007

Gloria, just wanted you to know that I didn't get that impression at all that you "had waited untill the last minute . . ." I totally understood what you meant--being a "mother" and all. Your follow-up comment was very gracious considering . . . O f curse you are worried. But this is where you have to let go, and I know you know that, you were just venting. H e will find out that when he is in a smokey bar it affects him. He will find out that when he parties all week-end, it affects him. That's the part of growing up with CF that us parents can't control. Does he do the vest? It would be nice is some of the other younger cfrs around here would give him some advice. You should make a blog and they could reply. There's plenty of cfrs here who have spread they're wings, and burned the midnight candle at both ends. Good luck mom! <img src="i/expressions/heart.gif" border="0">

kayleesgrandma · Mar 31, 2007

Gloria, just wanted you to know that I didn't get that impression at all that you "had waited untill the last minute . . ." I totally understood what you meant--being a "mother" and all. Your follow-up comment was very gracious considering . . . O f curse you are worried. But this is where you have to let go, and I know you know that, you were just venting. H e will find out that when he is in a smokey bar it affects him. He will find out that when he parties all week-end, it affects him. That's the part of growing up with CF that us parents can't control. Does he do the vest? It would be nice is some of the other younger cfrs around here would give him some advice. You should make a blog and they could reply. There's plenty of cfrs here who have spread they're wings, and burned the midnight candle at both ends. Good luck mom! <img src="i/expressions/heart.gif" border="0">

kayleesgrandma · Mar 31, 2007

Gloria, just wanted you to know that I didn't get that impression at all that you "had waited untill the last minute . . ." I totally understood what you meant--being a "mother" and all. Your follow-up comment was very gracious considering . . . O f curse you are worried. But this is where you have to let go, and I know you know that, you were just venting. H e will find out that when he is in a smokey bar it affects him. He will find out that when he parties all week-end, it affects him. That's the part of growing up with CF that us parents can't control. Does he do the vest? It would be nice is some of the other younger cfrs around here would give him some advice. You should make a blog and they could reply. There's plenty of cfrs here who have spread they're wings, and burned the midnight candle at both ends. Good luck mom! <img src="i/expressions/heart.gif" border="0">

MCGrad2006 · Mar 31, 2007

Hi Gloria...My name is Caitlin and I am 23 with CF. I just finished college in December after 4 1/2 years. I lived away from home all of those years, so I know what your son will be encoutering in just a few months. Like Terry said, he will probably experiment and try new things. I know that its hard in college, but he will learn and thus know what is good or bad for him. Everyone will experiment at one time or another and that may be hard for you to hear, but he will get some sense knocked into him. I am speaking from experience here...I did my share of experimenting in college...with not doing treatments, not taking meds...and I felt the sting of it in my last semester.

So far I have been able to gain back the ground I lost, because I am much more reliable. I have not missed a neb or enzyme in quite some time now. I also found that coming on here, talking with the people on here has helped me. I have learned so much like about cleaning my nebs. It has helped me to talk to people my own age, who have the same problems and issues to deal with. I dont know if your son would be interested in coming on here, but we are like one big family! <img src="i/expressions/heart.gif" border="0">

Hope this advice helps and feel free to Private message me if you wanna chat.

MCGrad2006 · Mar 31, 2007

Hi Gloria...My name is Caitlin and I am 23 with CF. I just finished college in December after 4 1/2 years. I lived away from home all of those years, so I know what your son will be encoutering in just a few months. Like Terry said, he will probably experiment and try new things. I know that its hard in college, but he will learn and thus know what is good or bad for him. Everyone will experiment at one time or another and that may be hard for you to hear, but he will get some sense knocked into him. I am speaking from experience here...I did my share of experimenting in college...with not doing treatments, not taking meds...and I felt the sting of it in my last semester.

So far I have been able to gain back the ground I lost, because I am much more reliable. I have not missed a neb or enzyme in quite some time now. I also found that coming on here, talking with the people on here has helped me. I have learned so much like about cleaning my nebs. It has helped me to talk to people my own age, who have the same problems and issues to deal with. I dont know if your son would be interested in coming on here, but we are like one big family! <img src="i/expressions/heart.gif" border="0">

Hope this advice helps and feel free to Private message me if you wanna chat.

MCGrad2006 · Mar 31, 2007

Hi Gloria...My name is Caitlin and I am 23 with CF. I just finished college in December after 4 1/2 years. I lived away from home all of those years, so I know what your son will be encoutering in just a few months. Like Terry said, he will probably experiment and try new things. I know that its hard in college, but he will learn and thus know what is good or bad for him. Everyone will experiment at one time or another and that may be hard for you to hear, but he will get some sense knocked into him. I am speaking from experience here...I did my share of experimenting in college...with not doing treatments, not taking meds...and I felt the sting of it in my last semester.

So far I have been able to gain back the ground I lost, because I am much more reliable. I have not missed a neb or enzyme in quite some time now. I also found that coming on here, talking with the people on here has helped me. I have learned so much like about cleaning my nebs. It has helped me to talk to people my own age, who have the same problems and issues to deal with. I dont know if your son would be interested in coming on here, but we are like one big family! <img src="i/expressions/heart.gif" border="0">

Hope this advice helps and feel free to Private message me if you wanna chat.

sue35 · Apr 1, 2007

I also lived away from home for 4 years in college. I did the typical college scene, parties hard and paid the price for it. It actually helped me fall as bad as I did because I learned from it and got better. The deal with CF is, sometimes you have to get really sick to realize what can happen. As long as he knows all his medicines routines he should be fine. If he chooses not to do his medicine, there is nothing you can do but watch as hard as it is.

I really think that being so stupid in college was good for me. It taught me how to be serious and to treat this disease better

sue35 · Apr 1, 2007

I also lived away from home for 4 years in college. I did the typical college scene, parties hard and paid the price for it. It actually helped me fall as bad as I did because I learned from it and got better. The deal with CF is, sometimes you have to get really sick to realize what can happen. As long as he knows all his medicines routines he should be fine. If he chooses not to do his medicine, there is nothing you can do but watch as hard as it is.

I really think that being so stupid in college was good for me. It taught me how to be serious and to treat this disease better

Son going off to college!

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