state of confusion

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stargazer76078

New member
My bf and I are both 21. I have been dating my boyfriend that has CF for about 9 months. Recently his lung collapsed twice within about a week. This was the third and fourth time it had happened within a year. But he recently had a procedure done that should keep it from happening to his left lung again. While all of this going on I was either getting ready to go on a mission trip or was already gone.

There is the possibility of getting married and with everything recently I have been a bit scared about what our future will look like. Before him I never knew anyone with this disease and I don't know anyone where I live that has it. So I am throwing this out there looking for some support. So if any females on here that are married to guys that have CF could let me know how it is and offer some support that would be great. I always hear from his family but those are parents and siblings. I need to hear from someone that is in my situation place.
 
S

stargazer76078

New member
My bf and I are both 21. I have been dating my boyfriend that has CF for about 9 months. Recently his lung collapsed twice within about a week. This was the third and fourth time it had happened within a year. But he recently had a procedure done that should keep it from happening to his left lung again. While all of this going on I was either getting ready to go on a mission trip or was already gone.

There is the possibility of getting married and with everything recently I have been a bit scared about what our future will look like. Before him I never knew anyone with this disease and I don't know anyone where I live that has it. So I am throwing this out there looking for some support. So if any females on here that are married to guys that have CF could let me know how it is and offer some support that would be great. I always hear from his family but those are parents and siblings. I need to hear from someone that is in my situation place.
 
S

stargazer76078

New member
My bf and I are both 21. I have been dating my boyfriend that has CF for about 9 months. Recently his lung collapsed twice within about a week. This was the third and fourth time it had happened within a year. But he recently had a procedure done that should keep it from happening to his left lung again. While all of this going on I was either getting ready to go on a mission trip or was already gone.
<br />
<br />There is the possibility of getting married and with everything recently I have been a bit scared about what our future will look like. Before him I never knew anyone with this disease and I don't know anyone where I live that has it. So I am throwing this out there looking for some support. So if any females on here that are married to guys that have CF could let me know how it is and offer some support that would be great. I always hear from his family but those are parents and siblings. I need to hear from someone that is in my situation place.
 
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dbtoo

New member
Like any other relationship, you have to either go with what you are feeling, or you evaluate everything and make a determination. Most peoples, just go with how they feel.

Are there any guarentees in life about anything? Only one that I know of for sure. We will all die. When is the question.

For people with CF, it will mostly depend on the severity of their unique case, along with what they choose for their lives.

So, from my perspective, you have a range of choices.
You can 'ignore the elephant' and act like his CF doesn't exist. You can over analyze everything and micromanage the situation. Personnaly, i'm more towards the elephant end.
 
D

dbtoo

New member
Like any other relationship, you have to either go with what you are feeling, or you evaluate everything and make a determination. Most peoples, just go with how they feel.

Are there any guarentees in life about anything? Only one that I know of for sure. We will all die. When is the question.

For people with CF, it will mostly depend on the severity of their unique case, along with what they choose for their lives.

So, from my perspective, you have a range of choices.
You can 'ignore the elephant' and act like his CF doesn't exist. You can over analyze everything and micromanage the situation. Personnaly, i'm more towards the elephant end.
 
D

dbtoo

New member
Like any other relationship, you have to either go with what you are feeling, or you evaluate everything and make a determination. Most peoples, just go with how they feel.
<br />
<br />Are there any guarentees in life about anything? Only one that I know of for sure. We will all die. When is the question.
<br />
<br />For people with CF, it will mostly depend on the severity of their unique case, along with what they choose for their lives.
<br />
<br />So, from my perspective, you have a range of choices.
<br />You can 'ignore the elephant' and act like his CF doesn't exist. You can over analyze everything and micromanage the situation. Personnaly, i'm more towards the elephant end.
 
W

welshwitch

Guest
I love your "elephant" answer dbtoo! That cracked me up!

Stargazer, I'm not a woman married to a guy with CF but I have CF and I am 30. Like you, I have also dealt with relationships where the guy was scared about my CF.

I have to agree with dbtoo that there are no guarantees in life. I do know that love is a rare and a precious thing and you can't let it pass you by. In my opinion, everyone comes with "something" that they are dealing with, everyone has issues and hardships. There are plenty of married couples on this website (and elsewhere) where one of the partners have CF and they are just dealing with it and making it work for them. In most if not all cases, the spouse accepted CF as something that came with the person they love. It didn't define them, but it was something that they had to deal with and support their partner in.

On the other hand, CF is not for everyone. There are ups and downs and some people do have it rougher than others. Is your boyfriend being proactive with his treatments? Is he taking care of himself? That will make a huge impact on you as a partner. To what degree is he having to be in the hospital? Is this the type of stress you can handle? If you know that this is not the lifestyle you want, you can listen to your heart and know that this is not for you.

That said, many people marry people with CF. I actually have some blogs that I enjoy following of married couples where one person has CF. In all 3 of these their love goes above and beyond this unyielding disease and it is clear that CF was not a dealbreaker.

Here they are:

(where the wife has CF)

<a target=_blank class=ftalternatingbarlinklarge href="http://pleasepassthesalt.tumblr.com/
">http://pleasepassthesalt.tumblr.com/
</a>
(where the wife has CF AND just had a baby)

<a target=_blank class=ftalternatingbarlinklarge href="http://cfpgjourney.blogspot.com/
">http://cfpgjourney.blogspot.com/
</a>
(Where the husband has CF)

<a target=_blank class=ftalternatingbarlinklarge href="http://runsickboyrun.blogspot.com/
">http://runsickboyrun.blogspot.com/
</a>
Perhaps these blogs can give you some insight and inspiration on the daily battles with CF but what I like about them is that they don't let it take over. I know they've been a source of strength for me. Hopefully they will help you too.
 
W

welshwitch

Guest
I love your "elephant" answer dbtoo! That cracked me up!

Stargazer, I'm not a woman married to a guy with CF but I have CF and I am 30. Like you, I have also dealt with relationships where the guy was scared about my CF.

I have to agree with dbtoo that there are no guarantees in life. I do know that love is a rare and a precious thing and you can't let it pass you by. In my opinion, everyone comes with "something" that they are dealing with, everyone has issues and hardships. There are plenty of married couples on this website (and elsewhere) where one of the partners have CF and they are just dealing with it and making it work for them. In most if not all cases, the spouse accepted CF as something that came with the person they love. It didn't define them, but it was something that they had to deal with and support their partner in.

On the other hand, CF is not for everyone. There are ups and downs and some people do have it rougher than others. Is your boyfriend being proactive with his treatments? Is he taking care of himself? That will make a huge impact on you as a partner. To what degree is he having to be in the hospital? Is this the type of stress you can handle? If you know that this is not the lifestyle you want, you can listen to your heart and know that this is not for you.

That said, many people marry people with CF. I actually have some blogs that I enjoy following of married couples where one person has CF. In all 3 of these their love goes above and beyond this unyielding disease and it is clear that CF was not a dealbreaker.

Here they are:

(where the wife has CF)

<a target=_blank class=ftalternatingbarlinklarge href="http://pleasepassthesalt.tumblr.com/
">http://pleasepassthesalt.tumblr.com/
</a>
(where the wife has CF AND just had a baby)

<a target=_blank class=ftalternatingbarlinklarge href="http://cfpgjourney.blogspot.com/
">http://cfpgjourney.blogspot.com/
</a>
(Where the husband has CF)

<a target=_blank class=ftalternatingbarlinklarge href="http://runsickboyrun.blogspot.com/
">http://runsickboyrun.blogspot.com/
</a>
Perhaps these blogs can give you some insight and inspiration on the daily battles with CF but what I like about them is that they don't let it take over. I know they've been a source of strength for me. Hopefully they will help you too.
 
W

welshwitch

Guest
I love your "elephant" answer dbtoo! That cracked me up!
<br />
<br />Stargazer, I'm not a woman married to a guy with CF but I have CF and I am 30. Like you, I have also dealt with relationships where the guy was scared about my CF.
<br />
<br />I have to agree with dbtoo that there are no guarantees in life. I do know that love is a rare and a precious thing and you can't let it pass you by. In my opinion, everyone comes with "something" that they are dealing with, everyone has issues and hardships. There are plenty of married couples on this website (and elsewhere) where one of the partners have CF and they are just dealing with it and making it work for them. In most if not all cases, the spouse accepted CF as something that came with the person they love. It didn't define them, but it was something that they had to deal with and support their partner in.
<br />
<br />On the other hand, CF is not for everyone. There are ups and downs and some people do have it rougher than others. Is your boyfriend being proactive with his treatments? Is he taking care of himself? That will make a huge impact on you as a partner. To what degree is he having to be in the hospital? Is this the type of stress you can handle? If you know that this is not the lifestyle you want, you can listen to your heart and know that this is not for you.
<br />
<br />That said, many people marry people with CF. I actually have some blogs that I enjoy following of married couples where one person has CF. In all 3 of these their love goes above and beyond this unyielding disease and it is clear that CF was not a dealbreaker.
<br />
<br />Here they are:
<br />
<br />(where the wife has CF)
<br />
<br /><a target=_blank class=ftalternatingbarlinklarge href="http://pleasepassthesalt.tumblr.com/
">http://pleasepassthesalt.tumblr.com/
</a><br />
<br />(where the wife has CF AND just had a baby)
<br />
<br /><a target=_blank class=ftalternatingbarlinklarge href="http://cfpgjourney.blogspot.com/
">http://cfpgjourney.blogspot.com/
</a><br />
<br />(Where the husband has CF)
<br />
<br /><a target=_blank class=ftalternatingbarlinklarge href="http://runsickboyrun.blogspot.com/
">http://runsickboyrun.blogspot.com/
</a><br />
<br />Perhaps these blogs can give you some insight and inspiration on the daily battles with CF but what I like about them is that they don't let it take over. I know they've been a source of strength for me. Hopefully they will help you too.
 
S

stargazer76078

New member
Thanks!

Each time he has been in the hospital (3 times) since we started dating it was because his right lung collapsed. I know I said left lung earlier but it was his right one (my brain messed me up because looking at him it is on my left and I forget it is his right). It was hard because we were away from each other (spring break and summer break) and I was not able to just get on the road and go.

Before I left to go on a mission trip he told me to not worry about him and just focus on why I was there. Did try to keep in touch here and there though because I knew he was going to have a procedure to try and keep this from happening again. Which praise God it went all right and he is out and at home resting for the rest of the summer!

Most of the time I keep it as a "I know it is there." It is at times still new because I have never gone through something like this before but I want to go through it all with him. I don't even see myself with anyone else but him. His favorite song to message me bits of at times is the new Brad Paisley song "Then". Thinking about it all just brings a smile to my face. I love that guy!!! When I saw him after he got out of the hospital this last time it was only for maybe 2hrs. I told him that I wish we could spend more time with him but I was going to cherish these few moments we were sharing til we saw each other again.

I hope all of this makes sense, my brain is kind of functioning but not really. Again thanks for the input and Welshwitch for the blogs.
 
S

stargazer76078

New member
Thanks!

Each time he has been in the hospital (3 times) since we started dating it was because his right lung collapsed. I know I said left lung earlier but it was his right one (my brain messed me up because looking at him it is on my left and I forget it is his right). It was hard because we were away from each other (spring break and summer break) and I was not able to just get on the road and go.

Before I left to go on a mission trip he told me to not worry about him and just focus on why I was there. Did try to keep in touch here and there though because I knew he was going to have a procedure to try and keep this from happening again. Which praise God it went all right and he is out and at home resting for the rest of the summer!

Most of the time I keep it as a "I know it is there." It is at times still new because I have never gone through something like this before but I want to go through it all with him. I don't even see myself with anyone else but him. His favorite song to message me bits of at times is the new Brad Paisley song "Then". Thinking about it all just brings a smile to my face. I love that guy!!! When I saw him after he got out of the hospital this last time it was only for maybe 2hrs. I told him that I wish we could spend more time with him but I was going to cherish these few moments we were sharing til we saw each other again.

I hope all of this makes sense, my brain is kind of functioning but not really. Again thanks for the input and Welshwitch for the blogs.
 
S

stargazer76078

New member
Thanks!
<br />
<br />Each time he has been in the hospital (3 times) since we started dating it was because his right lung collapsed. I know I said left lung earlier but it was his right one (my brain messed me up because looking at him it is on my left and I forget it is his right). It was hard because we were away from each other (spring break and summer break) and I was not able to just get on the road and go.
<br />
<br />Before I left to go on a mission trip he told me to not worry about him and just focus on why I was there. Did try to keep in touch here and there though because I knew he was going to have a procedure to try and keep this from happening again. Which praise God it went all right and he is out and at home resting for the rest of the summer!
<br />
<br />Most of the time I keep it as a "I know it is there." It is at times still new because I have never gone through something like this before but I want to go through it all with him. I don't even see myself with anyone else but him. His favorite song to message me bits of at times is the new Brad Paisley song "Then". Thinking about it all just brings a smile to my face. I love that guy!!! When I saw him after he got out of the hospital this last time it was only for maybe 2hrs. I told him that I wish we could spend more time with him but I was going to cherish these few moments we were sharing til we saw each other again.
<br />
<br />I hope all of this makes sense, my brain is kind of functioning but not really. Again thanks for the input and Welshwitch for the blogs.
 
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