step daughter sick

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mom2lilg

Guest
My step daughter is 7 and we have talked to her often about cf. Im not sure if she understands as much as my twins (7yr) do about cf. one of my twins is very protective of grayson b/c she does understand maybe too much. When grayson is in the hospital my twins normally live with my mom and dad just to keep it as "normal" for them (their dad works 3rd and they rather be with their nana and pappy). In the past its been a huge battle of name calling and "you don't love your daughter" to my husband from his ex wife. She has also sent her even knowing she was sick and didn't say anything. I have educated her and sent her tons of info on cf. one day she's very supportive and the next its just the opposite. It really depends on the day if she will be open minded about it. My step daughter is a huge part in our family. All family outings are scheduled when she is with us, holidays, school breaks, and we get her for the summer. She has been in my life for a little over 4 yrs now. And love her very much and thats why its such a hard decision. Also, as for my twins. Here is an example; Grayson was born May 08. My twins bday is just 2 weeks later. Grayson had many health issues and surgeries (7 month stay). We had to celebrate their bday in the hospital. In 2010, once again, grayson admitted just a week after her 2nd bday. So once again my twins had to celebrate their bday in the hospital. So now they said they cant plan a party since Grayson might get sick. I don't know if i can risk my cf childs health this time. I made a promise to my twins that their sister will be at their party and it won't be at the hospital.
 
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MaryamsMommy

New member
My person Opnion is this. If you choose not to have your step daughter over this weekend. Your husband needs to make an extra effort to do something with his daughter just the two of them. He is her father and there is nothing worse for a child then the feeling of rejection. And there is no way a 7 yearold will understand the situation to the fullest. If it is a true bronchitis then this could last weeks as well.How ever we look at it visitation in all reality is ment for the parent and child he should make the extra effort to be with his other child as well even if its just for the afternoon she had been sick as well and needs him just as much.What is his opnion on it? Does he want his daughter to come over or would he be ok with hanging out with her himself for the afternoon?

Karen
 
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MaryamsMommy

New member
My person Opnion is this. If you choose not to have your step daughter over this weekend. Your husband needs to make an extra effort to do something with his daughter just the two of them. He is her father and there is nothing worse for a child then the feeling of rejection. And there is no way a 7 yearold will understand the situation to the fullest. If it is a true bronchitis then this could last weeks as well.How ever we look at it visitation in all reality is ment for the parent and child he should make the extra effort to be with his other child as well even if its just for the afternoon she had been sick as well and needs him just as much.What is his opnion on it? Does he want his daughter to come over or would he be ok with hanging out with her himself for the afternoon?

Karen
 
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MaryamsMommy

New member
My person Opnion is this. If you choose not to have your step daughter over this weekend. Your husband needs to make an extra effort to do something with his daughter just the two of them. He is her father and there is nothing worse for a child then the feeling of rejection. And there is no way a 7 yearold will understand the situation to the fullest. If it is a true bronchitis then this could last weeks as well.How ever we look at it visitation in all reality is ment for the parent and child he should make the extra effort to be with his other child as well even if its just for the afternoon she had been sick as well and needs him just as much.What is his opnion on it? Does he want his daughter to come over or would he be ok with hanging out with her himself for the afternoon?
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<br />Karen
 
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NanaOf8GirlsAndCounting

Guest
Ok, I'm going to put my two cents in. Graycie is still testing positive for c-diff and has been on vanco for about a yr now. Last yr at this time we almost lost her due to this. Having multiple surgeries to save her life. If she gets sick she is not able to be on antibiotic's. I wouldn't risk it. Daddy can go and get her and spend the day. It probably would be a good thing because they never get alone time anyway. If her mommy(and you know how i feel about her) wouldn't lie so much about if and when she was sick I might trust her more about what this is. You just had her 3 extra days for spring break a week ago and i wouldn't feel guilty because this is how our family works, and all of the girls are afraid of Graycie going back to the hospital. It affects all of them. If one of the twins are sick they are stuck in their room so this is no different. Don't ask for trouble.
 
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NanaOf8GirlsAndCounting

Guest
Ok, I'm going to put my two cents in. Graycie is still testing positive for c-diff and has been on vanco for about a yr now. Last yr at this time we almost lost her due to this. Having multiple surgeries to save her life. If she gets sick she is not able to be on antibiotic's. I wouldn't risk it. Daddy can go and get her and spend the day. It probably would be a good thing because they never get alone time anyway. If her mommy(and you know how i feel about her) wouldn't lie so much about if and when she was sick I might trust her more about what this is. You just had her 3 extra days for spring break a week ago and i wouldn't feel guilty because this is how our family works, and all of the girls are afraid of Graycie going back to the hospital. It affects all of them. If one of the twins are sick they are stuck in their room so this is no different. Don't ask for trouble.
 
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NanaOf8GirlsAndCounting

Guest
Ok, I'm going to put my two cents in. Graycie is still testing positive for c-diff and has been on vanco for about a yr now. Last yr at this time we almost lost her due to this. Having multiple surgeries to save her life. If she gets sick she is not able to be on antibiotic's. I wouldn't risk it. Daddy can go and get her and spend the day. It probably would be a good thing because they never get alone time anyway. If her mommy(and you know how i feel about her) wouldn't lie so much about if and when she was sick I might trust her more about what this is. You just had her 3 extra days for spring break a week ago and i wouldn't feel guilty because this is how our family works, and all of the girls are afraid of Graycie going back to the hospital. It affects all of them. If one of the twins are sick they are stuck in their room so this is no different. Don't ask for trouble.
 
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PatrickM

New member
I am really sorry you even have to be making decisions like this. I didn't realize Grayson was Graycie who I have read about before from your mother's post. Do I have that right? Anyway, I totally understand your decision to protect Grayson. Her circumstances are such that she really needs extra precautions. You absolutely have to put her health first, and like you said if she is in the hospital if effects everyone, all the kids. You can only do your best so just explain to your step daughter as best you can. She probably won't totally understand but it is really all you can do if her mother won't support you, which would really be supporting her own daughter as well. Hopefully your husband can do something extra special with his daughter, or maybe all the 7 year olds. You seem like a great mom and step mom. :) You are all in my prayers, especially little Graycie.

Tara
 
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PatrickM

New member
I am really sorry you even have to be making decisions like this. I didn't realize Grayson was Graycie who I have read about before from your mother's post. Do I have that right? Anyway, I totally understand your decision to protect Grayson. Her circumstances are such that she really needs extra precautions. You absolutely have to put her health first, and like you said if she is in the hospital if effects everyone, all the kids. You can only do your best so just explain to your step daughter as best you can. She probably won't totally understand but it is really all you can do if her mother won't support you, which would really be supporting her own daughter as well. Hopefully your husband can do something extra special with his daughter, or maybe all the 7 year olds. You seem like a great mom and step mom. :) You are all in my prayers, especially little Graycie.

Tara
 
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PatrickM

New member
I am really sorry you even have to be making decisions like this. I didn't realize Grayson was Graycie who I have read about before from your mother's post. Do I have that right? Anyway, I totally understand your decision to protect Grayson. Her circumstances are such that she really needs extra precautions. You absolutely have to put her health first, and like you said if she is in the hospital if effects everyone, all the kids. You can only do your best so just explain to your step daughter as best you can. She probably won't totally understand but it is really all you can do if her mother won't support you, which would really be supporting her own daughter as well. Hopefully your husband can do something extra special with his daughter, or maybe all the 7 year olds. You seem like a great mom and step mom. :) You are all in my prayers, especially little Graycie.
<br />
<br />Tara
 
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mom2lilg

Guest
We have decided a new schedule for visits for my step daughter. since we are going to miss this weekend we will be getting her for the next 3 weekends. I am still waiting for the "fight" but this is our decision. I feel awful about this and even feel friction between me and dh. We made the decision together but neither one of us like having to tell one of our children "no". I am actually planning a small family vacation so i hope to make up for it next week.
 
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mom2lilg

Guest
We have decided a new schedule for visits for my step daughter. since we are going to miss this weekend we will be getting her for the next 3 weekends. I am still waiting for the "fight" but this is our decision. I feel awful about this and even feel friction between me and dh. We made the decision together but neither one of us like having to tell one of our children "no". I am actually planning a small family vacation so i hope to make up for it next week.
 
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mom2lilg

Guest
We have decided a new schedule for visits for my step daughter. since we are going to miss this weekend we will be getting her for the next 3 weekends. I am still waiting for the "fight" but this is our decision. I feel awful about this and even feel friction between me and dh. We made the decision together but neither one of us like having to tell one of our children "no". I am actually planning a small family vacation so i hope to make up for it next week.
 
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mom2lilg

Guest
oh, and yes Grayson is Graycie. Nanaof8andcounting is my mom. her and my dad are my rock and support with all of our kids and for me.
 
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mom2lilg

Guest
oh, and yes Grayson is Graycie. Nanaof8andcounting is my mom. her and my dad are my rock and support with all of our kids and for me.
 
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mom2lilg

Guest
oh, and yes Grayson is Graycie. Nanaof8andcounting is my mom. her and my dad are my rock and support with all of our kids and for me.
 
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concernedmom

New member
FWIW, I think you made the right decision. Our oldest child (no cf) had whooping cough almost 20 yrs ago (he was 13 mo.) It was considered a milder case. Even so, it was very scary and took nearly 8 weeks for him to recover. No hospitalizations but a few extended ER visits. I wouldn't want to chance it.
 
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concernedmom

New member
FWIW, I think you made the right decision. Our oldest child (no cf) had whooping cough almost 20 yrs ago (he was 13 mo.) It was considered a milder case. Even so, it was very scary and took nearly 8 weeks for him to recover. No hospitalizations but a few extended ER visits. I wouldn't want to chance it.
 
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concernedmom

New member
FWIW, I think you made the right decision. Our oldest child (no cf) had whooping cough almost 20 yrs ago (he was 13 mo.) It was considered a milder case. Even so, it was very scary and took nearly 8 weeks for him to recover. No hospitalizations but a few extended ER visits. I wouldn't want to chance it.
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<br />
 
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