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heidikk
Guest
Any polite way to discourage this? Dekorrah is so smiley and sweet, I can't blame the ladies in the line at the grocery store, but I am cringing inside.
http://www.prematurity.org/shops/shop-mytinyhands.html
I've heard of people using something like this. A sign that asks to wash hands before touching baby.
I've heard of people using something like this. A sign that asks to wash hands before touching baby.
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heidikk
Guest
yeah - I think I may have to make a sign like those. I can't figure out how to be polite and say it out loud. Do you head them off at the pass? Warn them at the first smile? LOL Try to catch them as they are reaching out? I am not good at being blunt.
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Kaethe108
Guest
I am also not good at that...
I remember that old lady in the supermarket line who pinched my daughters cheek, saying:"oh, you are sooo sweet little girl!" I just smiled sheepishly and said nothing.
Later I thought I should have pinched the cheek of that woman in return, saying:"But you are also quite cute..."
I remember that old lady in the supermarket line who pinched my daughters cheek, saying:"oh, you are sooo sweet little girl!" I just smiled sheepishly and said nothing.
Later I thought I should have pinched the cheek of that woman in return, saying:"But you are also quite cute..."
My friend who's child was 5 weeks early had a sign on her son's car seat carrier and a lot of times she'd put a light blanket over him (fall/winter) while shopping in stores with him. Still didn't prevent a few people from touching him. I too kept ds in his car seat while shopping and bluntly would say, he just spent 6 weeks in the NICU, please don't touch him. I learned to be MUCH more assertive and really didn't care about offending strangers when it comes to DS' health. And any family members and friends knew the drill that they had to wash hands before holding him. Something that was drilled into us all during our hospital stay.
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BreathinSteven
Guest
I like jshet's answer - telling someone moving in for a touch that your child's immune system is compromised - and gently/kindly but firmly tell them that "what can give you the sniffles, can end my baby's life..." That may inspire questions from the person - but will most often get them to back away quickly. It's odd - but we deal with similar things post transplant when we are highly immune suppressed. We'll have people coughing and telling us, "don't worry, it's just a mild cold..." or that they think it's only allergies - and we have to tell them a mild bug you're carrying, or may be carrying can cascade us into a world of hurt... Though touching babies can be irresistible - when they understand the possible consequences, most people will respect that... Love, Steve
CrisDopher
New member
I'm sorry, I may have missed something here, Heidi, but does your baby have a suppressed or weakened immune system in actuality? Does she have pronounced lung involvement or a history of chest infections? If not...if you're just being proactive because she has CF, then you may be overprotective. Babies need to be exposed to germs, or they will never build up a good enough immune system to carry them their adult years. I'm not saying to be like those mothers that expose their kids to measles on purpose, but getting the sniffles a few times a year is healthy in the long run. But you know this, of course.
As for strangers touching my baby.... well, I believe ALL touching should be verboten unless permission has been explicitly asked for and granted, but then I'm so personally touch-phobic I'm probably borderline Asperberger's or something. So, yeah... strangers touching my baby? I'd be posting a big sign on the stroller: IF YOU AREN'T RELATED TO ME, THEN HANDS OFF!
As for strangers touching my baby.... well, I believe ALL touching should be verboten unless permission has been explicitly asked for and granted, but then I'm so personally touch-phobic I'm probably borderline Asperberger's or something. So, yeah... strangers touching my baby? I'd be posting a big sign on the stroller: IF YOU AREN'T RELATED TO ME, THEN HANDS OFF!
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heidikk
Guest
CrisDopher, I have held that philosophy for many years in regard to my other nine children. You're right. It is just because my son has CF that I'm concerned. His lungs are relatively good so far. I need a manual explaining to me what health advice stays the same and what doesn't. sigh
Heidikk,
I have a older teenager with no CF. I use my philosophy of parenting with him a a guideline. If I would let my non CF child do such and such then I will let my CF child do the same...this excludes hot tubs and scuba diving
...I would not like a stranger to touch my non CF child so same goes for my CF'er.
I did not want to put my non CFer in day care same went for my CF'er. My non CF' er goes to public school; so does my Cf'er.
It's a guideline as with any child they are individuals. My CF child misses much more school, is sick more often, goes to the doctor more often and does hours of treatments a day. I cant change that. I do try my best to keep the parenting style the same. There are always exceptions. We just do our best.
Sorry to go off topic. Having a CF child will teach you how to become an incredibly assertive Mom.
I have a older teenager with no CF. I use my philosophy of parenting with him a a guideline. If I would let my non CF child do such and such then I will let my CF child do the same...this excludes hot tubs and scuba diving
...I would not like a stranger to touch my non CF child so same goes for my CF'er.I did not want to put my non CFer in day care same went for my CF'er. My non CF' er goes to public school; so does my Cf'er.
It's a guideline as with any child they are individuals. My CF child misses much more school, is sick more often, goes to the doctor more often and does hours of treatments a day. I cant change that. I do try my best to keep the parenting style the same. There are always exceptions. We just do our best.
Sorry to go off topic. Having a CF child will teach you how to become an incredibly assertive Mom.
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heidikk
Guest
not off topic really, Rebjane - a great help actually. So in general, as long as Kory is relatively healthy, I should not be so crazy worried about him being exposed to colds and stuff? It will actually strengthen his immune system just like a non-cf child??
Ds went to daycare and was probably the healthiest kid there. The center was very good about keeping the babies away from the Gerry toddlers, informed of what was going around, was great about disinfecting, sanitizing toys, surfaces... He also is in sports, public school. Ditto on the hot tub Gerry cesspools! Basically we treat him like a normal kid who needs a couple extra things. Cpt, meds to keep him healthy
CrisDopher
New member
Well, if he's so far got normal lungs and doesn't seem like every cold turns into two weeks of hospital (they didn't for me in childhood and still don't BTW), and has a normal immune system, then I say throw him in with the other kids w/ sniffles. You do him no favors by over-protecting now, when his body is primed to easily and quickly learn all the varieties of shapes that bacteria and viruses come in and conquer them quickly... if you wait and he does not build a flexible, strong immune system, then when he eventually does have lung involvement, his problems will be compounded.
Just my two cents, and I am definitely NOT a doctor.
Just my two cents, and I am definitely NOT a doctor.
Back to the original post. Strangers touching ones baby, cf or not is kinda creepy. My friend with the preemie was forever telling complete strangers not to touchback her son. One incident in particular was a lady with filthy hands in the target checkout line. Yes, babies are cute, but some people have no boundaries or sense of personal space
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Murphysmama
Guest
I was particularly protective about ds during his first two cold and flu seasons. Pulmo said those were big milestones to get through without major issues. I found that if I stayed in tune with attention to ds I could routinely prevent the touching through my own body language. For example, if I thought the Target checkout person was about to teach in I would lean in for a kiss or start rolling the cart and talking to him. Not perfect but really worked for me. I also was not above using antibacterial wipes in plain view if someone beat me to the punch. Its tough but you will be through the 'please don't touch baby' phase before you know it! Best wishes!
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welshwitch
Guest
Some more thoughts from a 33 year old CF woman: if you treat your CF kid different, s/he will feel different. Kids take cues from their parents. I agree with the other posters re: letting your kid be exposed to normal things. My parents (for the most part) let me be a normal kid and I turned out fine. CF or not, I don't think that ANY stranger should touch your baby, talk about boundary violations!
AmalynRose
New member
My husband and I are those types of people that don't want strangers touching our kids, period, CF or no CF. I have no issues telling people to keep their hands off my child. I don't know where their hands have been. For all I know they just scratched their butt in the restroom and have pinworm eggs under their nails (they don't come off from just washing your hands). I'm sorry but if you aren't family you don't need to be touching my kid.