Your comment had me thinking, Laurel...
Parents are merely an influence on thier children, but if they don't put any influence upon them, or have any awareness of thier child's behaviour, that is where they fail.
However, as in your case, as long as he's still under 18 (maybe 21) and under your roof, you still have a chance with him.
Now, obviously, I can't say much based on being a parent, but as being a child who wished the parents did things a little differently, I can say something about.
No matter how smart any person is, if they lack the common knowledge of relating to others (People Skills) they are going to fail as adults, and the only way to learn is by giving direct information to what is lacking, a "Realism Experience" in hopes that they don't learn that lesson the hard way, which is by failure.
Of course if the person doesn't listen to the parents' lesson, then it is only the failure of the "adult child" who takes the responsibility.
I feel that due to my CF, I grew up in a "grey area" of being a "Mama's Boy", and had to learn not to rely on others so much, and do things on my own with failures to add to my experience. It took me a while but one of my many downfalls I had to overcome was in being more aware of other people's feelings. I lost a lot of potential friends because some of what I did or said was "cold" and hurtful towards that person.
As far as what your son does on this board, I would recommend taking a few moments to search for topics he posts, and have a discussion about what things he posts are found to be offensive. I know that can be a pain, but since my Mother-in-Law acts like a five year old, I've had to do that same thing. She still says some rude and crude things, but considering she had been that way for nearly 79 years, I consider the source.
So, in conclusion, I suggest not disconnecting from that aspect of his life, that's where a parent can fail in my opinion; instead, I suggest doing what you can do in your own power to influence his behavior for his own future.
That's the best any parent can do. My parents did the best they could with me and my four siblings, and I told them how much I appreciated that, despite my downfalls. I hope this has been encouraging...
