The Great Magnet

[PJMak1985]

There is a lot of fear in life, a lot of things to take into consideration when you have CF. I guess when I was younger I never really had to think about the future, in any way shape or form. I always just did what i wanted whenever I wanted to. My parents were very supportive of my various endeavors and never made me feel like I couldnt do something because I had CF. That was very important to them and to me. I've been in a committed relationship with my girl for a year and a half now and it is a struggle to know what the right thing to do is. I love her with all my heart but sometimes I feel it selfish to make someone come down this road with me. This road of not knowing. Its fearful and can be dark and winding at times. She also has a daughter who is four. I have known her daughter Holly for two years now and have grown quite fond of her and we all have so much fun when we're together. My girlfriend Joy has definitely accepted me, but is all to aware of the road that lies ahead. I know I cannot stop loving her, either for fear of declining or for any other reason. Sometimes, as ive said, I feel it selfish to love. That if I really loved her I would let her go so she would not see me suffer. So her little daughter would not suffer. I guess thats just me trying to control the uncontrollable. I am healthy now, and grateful for everyday we have together. I just wish there was some way of knowing what lies in store. Its hard not knowing when you are going to get sick, and when you wont be able to work anymore. I have never really thought about this stuff until recently. Its funny how someone else will really make you grow and think. Im grateful for that. I cant just run around aimlessly and without a firm grasp on reality anymore. I have loved ones to think of and I will always do everything in my power to remain strong and healthy for me as well as for them. My world is one of doubt and insecurity at times, and at others, a firm and unshakable resolve and faith in what im doing and why i am doing it. The Ebb and Flow of life i suppose. But I am constantly grateful for the ability to experience all the range of emotions and experiences i encounter every day. Even if at times life may seem like hell on earth. Oh, and by the way those times are few and far between nowadays. Ive heard not to take life to seriously, that youll never make it out alive. Thats the truth. God has a plan for me. The great magnet of the universe.

 

[JENNYC]

I am so glad that you have God in your life! I am just a mom of a CFer, my little one is 7, but I am a wife as well. And I wouldn't care if my husband was the sickest man on the planet I will always be so thankful that he is mine and that I am lucky enough to have his love....sick or not! You can't help who you fall in love with. And I can't help but think that maybe God put you in each others lives. Talk to her...women usually love to spill there guts and share their feelings. I am so happy that you are doing well!! You haven't lived if you haven't loved! Don't think of yourself as selfish...think of yourself as blessed as I'm sure she thinks the same thing. I'm sure she will worry about you but who doesn't worry about their spouse? My husband has worked in law enforcement for 15 years. He is an intake and release sergeant...there's not a day that goes by that I don't pray that God protects him and keeps him safe. And with all the great medicines in the pipeline right now.....who knows you might live to be 103!!! Hope my opinion helped a little. Love is a powerful thing Treasure it God bless

 

[Guest]

I second that. You never know what life holds. I always say, "Why waste your life worrying?" It doesn't get you anywhere. Be glad you're healthy, enjoy it, and get every amazing ounce of life it has to give you. Took my 33 years to figure that out, but I'm done giving into fear.