rubyroselee
New member
<DIV>Just some thoughts I wrote about today. I apparently have too much free time at work...LOL</DIV>
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<DIV><STRONG><U>The Role of a Sick Person</U></STRONG></DIV>
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<DIV>I walk excitedly from the parking lot to the playground, as I see all of my family members that I haven't seen in many years. There are so many cousins, aunts, and uncles, and they all look so much older and more mature than I remembered. It's my family reunion celebration, and I can hardly wait to let my boys run loose with the other laughing kids on the playground. </DIV>
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<DIV>As I watch them take off to the sandbox, my uncle approaches me, who I haven't seen in many years. "So how's it going Leah?" That is about the most loaded question anyone can receive who has a chronic illness. Do I respond with the thoughtless, "Good, and you?"...or do I give him the detail-laden play-by-play response? How much does he want to know? I respond with an even-toned answer, "Pretty good. The kids are keeping me busy and we're enjoying the summer." He then asks, "And are you working?" Again, not the best question for someone with a chronic illness.</DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV>Our career often defines an individual in our society. Someone who is part of the armed forces is often seen as an important, valuable, and honored member of society, while someone who is disabled and unable to work has a societal role that is not defined. Someone who isn't defined in society may be looked at differently and not a part of the norm. I am very fortunate that I am able to work currently and I take pride in my strong work ethic. However, it is quite likely that there will come a time in my life where I am unable to work, much sooner in life than the average American, and then how will I respond to that question from my uncle? That is an honest and real situation that many people with CF must face.</DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV>The roles we have in our lives are important in defining us and making us who we are. Not only am I an IT professional, I am also a nurse, "momma", wife, daughter, aunt, niece, granddaughter, third baseman, the customer that orders the "green eye" at Starbucks at 7:45 am, and many more. But I also have other roles that I don't want on my record, such as "the person with cystic fibrosis" or the "sick" one. Even though I see myself as a normal person, there are days when I am the sick one. This identity creeps up on me and invades my psyche when I'm at clinic or not feeling well. The sick role is a hard one for me to grasp sometimes. It's difficult for me to accept help when I need it, especially because my natural instinct is to be the caregiver. </DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV>But then at times the sick role has almost a love-hate relationship with me. I hate it because I don't want to be labeled as incompetent, incapable, or insufficient. But at the same time I cherish the care, love, and attention I receive from being a sick person. That feeling of someone understanding your needs and trying to help you overcome your struggles and obstacles is very special and heart-warming. There's a vulnerablability that becomes visible to others.</DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV>But with CF, the sick role can often become more present in our lives as we go, and I think that's when the love-hate relationship turns to more of a hate one. You feel as though your other roles are being pushed aside and overruled. Your career is a "full-time job in taking care of myself." It's frustrating to say the least. </DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV>Some roles you can control, others you can't, which is why I think it's important to embrace the uncontrollable ones in life. So even though I don't necessarily want the role of being "sick" or the role of being the "sandcastle builder" and getting completely filthy for my kids at the family reunion...I try to embrace it. </DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV>And as I wipe off the sand from my clothes, I look over across the playground at the reunion and see my younger 6-year-old cousin in her wheelchair. There is a chuckling crowd of family surrounding her. As I get closer to the group, I hear her sharing hilarious stories and anecdotes and one-of-a-kind puns leaving everyone roaring with laughter (and me in a coughing fit). She could definitely take the crown as the "disabled" family member and adopt that role. But just as innocent as she is to the world, the ones the surround her know that she is, indeed, the family "jokester".</DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV>And that is the idea that I try to keep in mind every day. There are times when you can re-mold the role you have fallen into and there are other times that you have to adapt to a role that you're forced into. But roles are very simply a responsibility...and if that responsibility is to simply take care of yourself, then so be it.</DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV><STRONG><U>The Role of a Sick Person</U></STRONG></DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV>I walk excitedly from the parking lot to the playground, as I see all of my family members that I haven't seen in many years. There are so many cousins, aunts, and uncles, and they all look so much older and more mature than I remembered. It's my family reunion celebration, and I can hardly wait to let my boys run loose with the other laughing kids on the playground. </DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV>As I watch them take off to the sandbox, my uncle approaches me, who I haven't seen in many years. "So how's it going Leah?" That is about the most loaded question anyone can receive who has a chronic illness. Do I respond with the thoughtless, "Good, and you?"...or do I give him the detail-laden play-by-play response? How much does he want to know? I respond with an even-toned answer, "Pretty good. The kids are keeping me busy and we're enjoying the summer." He then asks, "And are you working?" Again, not the best question for someone with a chronic illness.</DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV>Our career often defines an individual in our society. Someone who is part of the armed forces is often seen as an important, valuable, and honored member of society, while someone who is disabled and unable to work has a societal role that is not defined. Someone who isn't defined in society may be looked at differently and not a part of the norm. I am very fortunate that I am able to work currently and I take pride in my strong work ethic. However, it is quite likely that there will come a time in my life where I am unable to work, much sooner in life than the average American, and then how will I respond to that question from my uncle? That is an honest and real situation that many people with CF must face.</DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV>The roles we have in our lives are important in defining us and making us who we are. Not only am I an IT professional, I am also a nurse, "momma", wife, daughter, aunt, niece, granddaughter, third baseman, the customer that orders the "green eye" at Starbucks at 7:45 am, and many more. But I also have other roles that I don't want on my record, such as "the person with cystic fibrosis" or the "sick" one. Even though I see myself as a normal person, there are days when I am the sick one. This identity creeps up on me and invades my psyche when I'm at clinic or not feeling well. The sick role is a hard one for me to grasp sometimes. It's difficult for me to accept help when I need it, especially because my natural instinct is to be the caregiver. </DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV>But then at times the sick role has almost a love-hate relationship with me. I hate it because I don't want to be labeled as incompetent, incapable, or insufficient. But at the same time I cherish the care, love, and attention I receive from being a sick person. That feeling of someone understanding your needs and trying to help you overcome your struggles and obstacles is very special and heart-warming. There's a vulnerablability that becomes visible to others.</DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV>But with CF, the sick role can often become more present in our lives as we go, and I think that's when the love-hate relationship turns to more of a hate one. You feel as though your other roles are being pushed aside and overruled. Your career is a "full-time job in taking care of myself." It's frustrating to say the least. </DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV>Some roles you can control, others you can't, which is why I think it's important to embrace the uncontrollable ones in life. So even though I don't necessarily want the role of being "sick" or the role of being the "sandcastle builder" and getting completely filthy for my kids at the family reunion...I try to embrace it. </DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV>And as I wipe off the sand from my clothes, I look over across the playground at the reunion and see my younger 6-year-old cousin in her wheelchair. There is a chuckling crowd of family surrounding her. As I get closer to the group, I hear her sharing hilarious stories and anecdotes and one-of-a-kind puns leaving everyone roaring with laughter (and me in a coughing fit). She could definitely take the crown as the "disabled" family member and adopt that role. But just as innocent as she is to the world, the ones the surround her know that she is, indeed, the family "jokester".</DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV>And that is the idea that I try to keep in mind every day. There are times when you can re-mold the role you have fallen into and there are other times that you have to adapt to a role that you're forced into. But roles are very simply a responsibility...and if that responsibility is to simply take care of yourself, then so be it.</DIV>