I'm with Renee-- send her a check, or paint over the damned mural. Your number one job is keeping that baby healthy, which means keeping her away from potential nasty stuff in the air-- don't let grandma be coughing! And taking care of yourself so that you can take care of the baby. When you feel it's OK to get up and go, you will. Meanwhile, draw support from people who understand and care NOT who are undermining and judgemental! Criticism like that is the opposite of helpful, cousin or no.