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To be or not to be...pregnant
- Thread starter KEC1984
- Start date
blondelawyer
New member
Man, is it an issue! My husband has CF and we talk about the kids issue A LOT. We both really want to have kids. He often downplays it because of the obvious issue but he recently told me how much he really does want kids. But, we both are really concerned about a child coming into the picture and the effect that having a dad with CF and possibly (okay, probably) will die while the child is young. There are also financial concerns because the options for men with CF tend to be expensive and then there are the financial concerns that come with CF in general. We still are not sure what we are going to do, but I think that we are leaning toward starting a family in a couple of years.
So right now I am just really researching the options. I would choose IVF and trying to get pregnant, while my husband would choose adoption. So...we are looking into all of the different options. We are in the process of becoming licensed foster parents so that we might be able to adopt through the public system. And then we are also looking into what countries will let someone with CF adopt and then the domestic options.
It is really difficult and something that we struggle with frequently. I don't have a good answer for you, but please feel free to PM me anytime--while I might not have answers, I can definitely relate!
So right now I am just really researching the options. I would choose IVF and trying to get pregnant, while my husband would choose adoption. So...we are looking into all of the different options. We are in the process of becoming licensed foster parents so that we might be able to adopt through the public system. And then we are also looking into what countries will let someone with CF adopt and then the domestic options.
It is really difficult and something that we struggle with frequently. I don't have a good answer for you, but please feel free to PM me anytime--while I might not have answers, I can definitely relate!
blondelawyer
New member
Man, is it an issue! My husband has CF and we talk about the kids issue A LOT. We both really want to have kids. He often downplays it because of the obvious issue but he recently told me how much he really does want kids. But, we both are really concerned about a child coming into the picture and the effect that having a dad with CF and possibly (okay, probably) will die while the child is young. There are also financial concerns because the options for men with CF tend to be expensive and then there are the financial concerns that come with CF in general. We still are not sure what we are going to do, but I think that we are leaning toward starting a family in a couple of years.
So right now I am just really researching the options. I would choose IVF and trying to get pregnant, while my husband would choose adoption. So...we are looking into all of the different options. We are in the process of becoming licensed foster parents so that we might be able to adopt through the public system. And then we are also looking into what countries will let someone with CF adopt and then the domestic options.
It is really difficult and something that we struggle with frequently. I don't have a good answer for you, but please feel free to PM me anytime--while I might not have answers, I can definitely relate!
So right now I am just really researching the options. I would choose IVF and trying to get pregnant, while my husband would choose adoption. So...we are looking into all of the different options. We are in the process of becoming licensed foster parents so that we might be able to adopt through the public system. And then we are also looking into what countries will let someone with CF adopt and then the domestic options.
It is really difficult and something that we struggle with frequently. I don't have a good answer for you, but please feel free to PM me anytime--while I might not have answers, I can definitely relate!
blondelawyer
New member
Man, is it an issue! My husband has CF and we talk about the kids issue A LOT. We both really want to have kids. He often downplays it because of the obvious issue but he recently told me how much he really does want kids. But, we both are really concerned about a child coming into the picture and the effect that having a dad with CF and possibly (okay, probably) will die while the child is young. There are also financial concerns because the options for men with CF tend to be expensive and then there are the financial concerns that come with CF in general. We still are not sure what we are going to do, but I think that we are leaning toward starting a family in a couple of years.
So right now I am just really researching the options. I would choose IVF and trying to get pregnant, while my husband would choose adoption. So...we are looking into all of the different options. We are in the process of becoming licensed foster parents so that we might be able to adopt through the public system. And then we are also looking into what countries will let someone with CF adopt and then the domestic options.
It is really difficult and something that we struggle with frequently. I don't have a good answer for you, but please feel free to PM me anytime--while I might not have answers, I can definitely relate!
So right now I am just really researching the options. I would choose IVF and trying to get pregnant, while my husband would choose adoption. So...we are looking into all of the different options. We are in the process of becoming licensed foster parents so that we might be able to adopt through the public system. And then we are also looking into what countries will let someone with CF adopt and then the domestic options.
It is really difficult and something that we struggle with frequently. I don't have a good answer for you, but please feel free to PM me anytime--while I might not have answers, I can definitely relate!
blondelawyer
New member
Man, is it an issue! My husband has CF and we talk about the kids issue A LOT. We both really want to have kids. He often downplays it because of the obvious issue but he recently told me how much he really does want kids. But, we both are really concerned about a child coming into the picture and the effect that having a dad with CF and possibly (okay, probably) will die while the child is young. There are also financial concerns because the options for men with CF tend to be expensive and then there are the financial concerns that come with CF in general. We still are not sure what we are going to do, but I think that we are leaning toward starting a family in a couple of years.
So right now I am just really researching the options. I would choose IVF and trying to get pregnant, while my husband would choose adoption. So...we are looking into all of the different options. We are in the process of becoming licensed foster parents so that we might be able to adopt through the public system. And then we are also looking into what countries will let someone with CF adopt and then the domestic options.
It is really difficult and something that we struggle with frequently. I don't have a good answer for you, but please feel free to PM me anytime--while I might not have answers, I can definitely relate!
So right now I am just really researching the options. I would choose IVF and trying to get pregnant, while my husband would choose adoption. So...we are looking into all of the different options. We are in the process of becoming licensed foster parents so that we might be able to adopt through the public system. And then we are also looking into what countries will let someone with CF adopt and then the domestic options.
It is really difficult and something that we struggle with frequently. I don't have a good answer for you, but please feel free to PM me anytime--while I might not have answers, I can definitely relate!
blondelawyer
New member
Man, is it an issue! My husband has CF and we talk about the kids issue A LOT. We both really want to have kids. He often downplays it because of the obvious issue but he recently told me how much he really does want kids. But, we both are really concerned about a child coming into the picture and the effect that having a dad with CF and possibly (okay, probably) will die while the child is young. There are also financial concerns because the options for men with CF tend to be expensive and then there are the financial concerns that come with CF in general. We still are not sure what we are going to do, but I think that we are leaning toward starting a family in a couple of years.
So right now I am just really researching the options. I would choose IVF and trying to get pregnant, while my husband would choose adoption. So...we are looking into all of the different options. We are in the process of becoming licensed foster parents so that we might be able to adopt through the public system. And then we are also looking into what countries will let someone with CF adopt and then the domestic options.
It is really difficult and something that we struggle with frequently. I don't have a good answer for you, but please feel free to PM me anytime--while I might not have answers, I can definitely relate!
So right now I am just really researching the options. I would choose IVF and trying to get pregnant, while my husband would choose adoption. So...we are looking into all of the different options. We are in the process of becoming licensed foster parents so that we might be able to adopt through the public system. And then we are also looking into what countries will let someone with CF adopt and then the domestic options.
It is really difficult and something that we struggle with frequently. I don't have a good answer for you, but please feel free to PM me anytime--while I might not have answers, I can definitely relate!
mark and I found out about the CBAVD factor when we were dating, and he wanted to get tested right away. I guess he thought that if he was infertile, I would leave him.
He couldn't have been more wrong. I never once thought of leaving the relationsip for that reason, although he and I did both agree that some day, some way and some how, we WOULD become parents. Whether it was by adoption or some sort of medical intervention.
However, over the last 7 years prior to our IVF experience, we did have a lot of heart to heart talks about all the "what if's" and possibilities, and we both had concerns. But we did what we felt we could handle, and we both couldn't be happier with the decision.
Good luck, it's a hard subject to talk about sometimes, and we've all been there or are currently there...
He couldn't have been more wrong. I never once thought of leaving the relationsip for that reason, although he and I did both agree that some day, some way and some how, we WOULD become parents. Whether it was by adoption or some sort of medical intervention.
However, over the last 7 years prior to our IVF experience, we did have a lot of heart to heart talks about all the "what if's" and possibilities, and we both had concerns. But we did what we felt we could handle, and we both couldn't be happier with the decision.
Good luck, it's a hard subject to talk about sometimes, and we've all been there or are currently there...
mark and I found out about the CBAVD factor when we were dating, and he wanted to get tested right away. I guess he thought that if he was infertile, I would leave him.
He couldn't have been more wrong. I never once thought of leaving the relationsip for that reason, although he and I did both agree that some day, some way and some how, we WOULD become parents. Whether it was by adoption or some sort of medical intervention.
However, over the last 7 years prior to our IVF experience, we did have a lot of heart to heart talks about all the "what if's" and possibilities, and we both had concerns. But we did what we felt we could handle, and we both couldn't be happier with the decision.
Good luck, it's a hard subject to talk about sometimes, and we've all been there or are currently there...
He couldn't have been more wrong. I never once thought of leaving the relationsip for that reason, although he and I did both agree that some day, some way and some how, we WOULD become parents. Whether it was by adoption or some sort of medical intervention.
However, over the last 7 years prior to our IVF experience, we did have a lot of heart to heart talks about all the "what if's" and possibilities, and we both had concerns. But we did what we felt we could handle, and we both couldn't be happier with the decision.
Good luck, it's a hard subject to talk about sometimes, and we've all been there or are currently there...
mark and I found out about the CBAVD factor when we were dating, and he wanted to get tested right away. I guess he thought that if he was infertile, I would leave him.
He couldn't have been more wrong. I never once thought of leaving the relationsip for that reason, although he and I did both agree that some day, some way and some how, we WOULD become parents. Whether it was by adoption or some sort of medical intervention.
However, over the last 7 years prior to our IVF experience, we did have a lot of heart to heart talks about all the "what if's" and possibilities, and we both had concerns. But we did what we felt we could handle, and we both couldn't be happier with the decision.
Good luck, it's a hard subject to talk about sometimes, and we've all been there or are currently there...
He couldn't have been more wrong. I never once thought of leaving the relationsip for that reason, although he and I did both agree that some day, some way and some how, we WOULD become parents. Whether it was by adoption or some sort of medical intervention.
However, over the last 7 years prior to our IVF experience, we did have a lot of heart to heart talks about all the "what if's" and possibilities, and we both had concerns. But we did what we felt we could handle, and we both couldn't be happier with the decision.
Good luck, it's a hard subject to talk about sometimes, and we've all been there or are currently there...
mark and I found out about the CBAVD factor when we were dating, and he wanted to get tested right away. I guess he thought that if he was infertile, I would leave him.
He couldn't have been more wrong. I never once thought of leaving the relationsip for that reason, although he and I did both agree that some day, some way and some how, we WOULD become parents. Whether it was by adoption or some sort of medical intervention.
However, over the last 7 years prior to our IVF experience, we did have a lot of heart to heart talks about all the "what if's" and possibilities, and we both had concerns. But we did what we felt we could handle, and we both couldn't be happier with the decision.
Good luck, it's a hard subject to talk about sometimes, and we've all been there or are currently there...
He couldn't have been more wrong. I never once thought of leaving the relationsip for that reason, although he and I did both agree that some day, some way and some how, we WOULD become parents. Whether it was by adoption or some sort of medical intervention.
However, over the last 7 years prior to our IVF experience, we did have a lot of heart to heart talks about all the "what if's" and possibilities, and we both had concerns. But we did what we felt we could handle, and we both couldn't be happier with the decision.
Good luck, it's a hard subject to talk about sometimes, and we've all been there or are currently there...
mark and I found out about the CBAVD factor when we were dating, and he wanted to get tested right away. I guess he thought that if he was infertile, I would leave him.
He couldn't have been more wrong. I never once thought of leaving the relationsip for that reason, although he and I did both agree that some day, some way and some how, we WOULD become parents. Whether it was by adoption or some sort of medical intervention.
However, over the last 7 years prior to our IVF experience, we did have a lot of heart to heart talks about all the "what if's" and possibilities, and we both had concerns. But we did what we felt we could handle, and we both couldn't be happier with the decision.
Good luck, it's a hard subject to talk about sometimes, and we've all been there or are currently there...
He couldn't have been more wrong. I never once thought of leaving the relationsip for that reason, although he and I did both agree that some day, some way and some how, we WOULD become parents. Whether it was by adoption or some sort of medical intervention.
However, over the last 7 years prior to our IVF experience, we did have a lot of heart to heart talks about all the "what if's" and possibilities, and we both had concerns. But we did what we felt we could handle, and we both couldn't be happier with the decision.
Good luck, it's a hard subject to talk about sometimes, and we've all been there or are currently there...
K
Keepercjr
Guest
I'm assuming that you're the one who would get pregnant and that you have CF? Thats a tough issue. The choice needs to be yours whether or not you get pregnant. If your partner wants kids but you don't want to be pregnant then they have to realize there are other ways of having kids (adoption, surrogacy, foster care, etc). If you don't feel you are healthy enough, DON'T GET PREGNANT. If that is a deal breaker then there really isn't any other way around it. If you don't feel healthy enough to raise a child then your partner has to accept it if they want to be with you. For some people, having children is very important and you may have to let them move on in their life. If my DH didn't ever want kids then I don't think I would have pursued the relationship. But ideally I would have found out about his preferences early on with enough time to not be too attached.
I only think it is fair to let the person know that you don't want to risk having kids (if that is your decision). If you feel that having a child would negatively effect your health then don't attempt it just to save a relationship.
Good luck to whatever you decide
I only think it is fair to let the person know that you don't want to risk having kids (if that is your decision). If you feel that having a child would negatively effect your health then don't attempt it just to save a relationship.
Good luck to whatever you decide
K
Keepercjr
Guest
I'm assuming that you're the one who would get pregnant and that you have CF? Thats a tough issue. The choice needs to be yours whether or not you get pregnant. If your partner wants kids but you don't want to be pregnant then they have to realize there are other ways of having kids (adoption, surrogacy, foster care, etc). If you don't feel you are healthy enough, DON'T GET PREGNANT. If that is a deal breaker then there really isn't any other way around it. If you don't feel healthy enough to raise a child then your partner has to accept it if they want to be with you. For some people, having children is very important and you may have to let them move on in their life. If my DH didn't ever want kids then I don't think I would have pursued the relationship. But ideally I would have found out about his preferences early on with enough time to not be too attached.
I only think it is fair to let the person know that you don't want to risk having kids (if that is your decision). If you feel that having a child would negatively effect your health then don't attempt it just to save a relationship.
Good luck to whatever you decide
I only think it is fair to let the person know that you don't want to risk having kids (if that is your decision). If you feel that having a child would negatively effect your health then don't attempt it just to save a relationship.
Good luck to whatever you decide
K
Keepercjr
Guest
I'm assuming that you're the one who would get pregnant and that you have CF? Thats a tough issue. The choice needs to be yours whether or not you get pregnant. If your partner wants kids but you don't want to be pregnant then they have to realize there are other ways of having kids (adoption, surrogacy, foster care, etc). If you don't feel you are healthy enough, DON'T GET PREGNANT. If that is a deal breaker then there really isn't any other way around it. If you don't feel healthy enough to raise a child then your partner has to accept it if they want to be with you. For some people, having children is very important and you may have to let them move on in their life. If my DH didn't ever want kids then I don't think I would have pursued the relationship. But ideally I would have found out about his preferences early on with enough time to not be too attached.
I only think it is fair to let the person know that you don't want to risk having kids (if that is your decision). If you feel that having a child would negatively effect your health then don't attempt it just to save a relationship.
Good luck to whatever you decide
I only think it is fair to let the person know that you don't want to risk having kids (if that is your decision). If you feel that having a child would negatively effect your health then don't attempt it just to save a relationship.
Good luck to whatever you decide
K
Keepercjr
Guest
I'm assuming that you're the one who would get pregnant and that you have CF? Thats a tough issue. The choice needs to be yours whether or not you get pregnant. If your partner wants kids but you don't want to be pregnant then they have to realize there are other ways of having kids (adoption, surrogacy, foster care, etc). If you don't feel you are healthy enough, DON'T GET PREGNANT. If that is a deal breaker then there really isn't any other way around it. If you don't feel healthy enough to raise a child then your partner has to accept it if they want to be with you. For some people, having children is very important and you may have to let them move on in their life. If my DH didn't ever want kids then I don't think I would have pursued the relationship. But ideally I would have found out about his preferences early on with enough time to not be too attached.
I only think it is fair to let the person know that you don't want to risk having kids (if that is your decision). If you feel that having a child would negatively effect your health then don't attempt it just to save a relationship.
Good luck to whatever you decide
I only think it is fair to let the person know that you don't want to risk having kids (if that is your decision). If you feel that having a child would negatively effect your health then don't attempt it just to save a relationship.
Good luck to whatever you decide
K
Keepercjr
Guest
I'm assuming that you're the one who would get pregnant and that you have CF? Thats a tough issue. The choice needs to be yours whether or not you get pregnant. If your partner wants kids but you don't want to be pregnant then they have to realize there are other ways of having kids (adoption, surrogacy, foster care, etc). If you don't feel you are healthy enough, DON'T GET PREGNANT. If that is a deal breaker then there really isn't any other way around it. If you don't feel healthy enough to raise a child then your partner has to accept it if they want to be with you. For some people, having children is very important and you may have to let them move on in their life. If my DH didn't ever want kids then I don't think I would have pursued the relationship. But ideally I would have found out about his preferences early on with enough time to not be too attached.
I only think it is fair to let the person know that you don't want to risk having kids (if that is your decision). If you feel that having a child would negatively effect your health then don't attempt it just to save a relationship.
Good luck to whatever you decide
I only think it is fair to let the person know that you don't want to risk having kids (if that is your decision). If you feel that having a child would negatively effect your health then don't attempt it just to save a relationship.
Good luck to whatever you decide