Today is my anniversary

Allie

New member
8 years today, we'd have been married. Today we should be eating french toast in bed, and cuddling together, and you shouldl be making me laugh like you always did , that horrible, wonderful way of yours. We should be teasing each other about getting sick of each other, and then call back all the passion of that first night shared with a gentle word.

But we're not. Instead today, I got up alone like I have for the past nine months, and walked to the kitchen, joylessly pouring cereal into a bowl and trying to awake my senses before Ahava woke up. I sat and thought of you, as I do often in those first minutes after my feet hit the cold wooden floor. Any other morning, I'd be sitting listening to you yammer on about your latest endeavor while you scrambled eggs for Ahava and I. But all I hear is the ticking of the clock in the kitchen

I'm scared, Ry

I've forgotten things, things I never wanted to forget, things I spent those last few days trying to ingraine into my soul, that you might stay with me forever. I can't remember the feel your breath on my neck as you whisper in my ear, your touch on my back, the softness and purity of your kiss becomes harder and harder to describe. I strain to think of your hum as you worked in the kitchen, oh how much you loved that. I remember always coming home and seeing you make your latest concotion, which was always amazing and rich and wonderful. And you scent......Oh God, please don't let me forget that. I went to your closet and opened it today, because you jackets hadn't been washed and you can still smell you if you just breathe deeply. I can't forget that.

What happened to it all? In what world was this fair? I remember when we got together, and how you were so full of life, laughter filling every inch of you, until you got to coughing, and even then, the laughter was in your eyes. You were truly amused with life, in a way I never could replicate. I watched Cf and cepacia work bit by bit to take your light and joy from me, moving from that familiar nighttime sound of your cough, to a oxygen concentrator, to a bipap.

I miss your cough, Ry.

In those last few days, as I watched your life flicker like a candle at the end of its wick, the enormity of the situation began to hit me. I was going to lose my sunny, funny hubby. But it couldn't be! You had me and a daughter and everything, there had to be someone else they could take. But I called to the sky, and it was empty those nights, and I knew, oh yes I knew. AND that night, like every other since then, my heartbeat has softly called your name into the quiet.

You always had a way about you that was undeniable. You could joke about the most morbid and horrible of things. Leaving personals ads circled, trying to help me find a date to the funeral, you joked. You're not getting any younger, you said. But we were young Ry, we were so desperately young. I remember how you joked about making a lifetime movie about me beating you, as we dredged up southern accents, and you created the best womanly scream I'd ever heard." Lester, no!" I still laugh when I think of you like that, perfect. Your eyes all lit up with humor and creativity.

You were my undoing, Ry

In life before you, things were so perfectly placed and put, and I'd have my husband and kids, with a white picket fence, matching SUVs and labrador retrievers. And I'd have lived a life of quiet boredom and desperation, always looking for the kind of love you find in the cheesy romance novels that you used to mock, Our 7 seven years were all too short, but they were the happiest of my life, even when things weren't perfect. You changed me, Ry. And for the better.

In life after you, I now sit at the kitchen table and reflect on what I've lost. The cupboard, once filled with medications, is empty now, dust collecting in that spot I can't bear to do anything else with. I no longer trip on your tubing as I walk absentmindedly into the lving room. I don't have to wait until you've done your treatments to go to bed. I miss the face you used to make while doing TOBI, begging me to grab you a pop because you couldn't stand that taste. So I watch the candle and wish with all my mind I had a match to relight it.

I hope I was a good wife, Ry. You were an amazing husband.
 

Allie

New member
8 years today, we'd have been married. Today we should be eating french toast in bed, and cuddling together, and you shouldl be making me laugh like you always did , that horrible, wonderful way of yours. We should be teasing each other about getting sick of each other, and then call back all the passion of that first night shared with a gentle word.

But we're not. Instead today, I got up alone like I have for the past nine months, and walked to the kitchen, joylessly pouring cereal into a bowl and trying to awake my senses before Ahava woke up. I sat and thought of you, as I do often in those first minutes after my feet hit the cold wooden floor. Any other morning, I'd be sitting listening to you yammer on about your latest endeavor while you scrambled eggs for Ahava and I. But all I hear is the ticking of the clock in the kitchen

I'm scared, Ry

I've forgotten things, things I never wanted to forget, things I spent those last few days trying to ingraine into my soul, that you might stay with me forever. I can't remember the feel your breath on my neck as you whisper in my ear, your touch on my back, the softness and purity of your kiss becomes harder and harder to describe. I strain to think of your hum as you worked in the kitchen, oh how much you loved that. I remember always coming home and seeing you make your latest concotion, which was always amazing and rich and wonderful. And you scent......Oh God, please don't let me forget that. I went to your closet and opened it today, because you jackets hadn't been washed and you can still smell you if you just breathe deeply. I can't forget that.

What happened to it all? In what world was this fair? I remember when we got together, and how you were so full of life, laughter filling every inch of you, until you got to coughing, and even then, the laughter was in your eyes. You were truly amused with life, in a way I never could replicate. I watched Cf and cepacia work bit by bit to take your light and joy from me, moving from that familiar nighttime sound of your cough, to a oxygen concentrator, to a bipap.

I miss your cough, Ry.

In those last few days, as I watched your life flicker like a candle at the end of its wick, the enormity of the situation began to hit me. I was going to lose my sunny, funny hubby. But it couldn't be! You had me and a daughter and everything, there had to be someone else they could take. But I called to the sky, and it was empty those nights, and I knew, oh yes I knew. AND that night, like every other since then, my heartbeat has softly called your name into the quiet.

You always had a way about you that was undeniable. You could joke about the most morbid and horrible of things. Leaving personals ads circled, trying to help me find a date to the funeral, you joked. You're not getting any younger, you said. But we were young Ry, we were so desperately young. I remember how you joked about making a lifetime movie about me beating you, as we dredged up southern accents, and you created the best womanly scream I'd ever heard." Lester, no!" I still laugh when I think of you like that, perfect. Your eyes all lit up with humor and creativity.

You were my undoing, Ry

In life before you, things were so perfectly placed and put, and I'd have my husband and kids, with a white picket fence, matching SUVs and labrador retrievers. And I'd have lived a life of quiet boredom and desperation, always looking for the kind of love you find in the cheesy romance novels that you used to mock, Our 7 seven years were all too short, but they were the happiest of my life, even when things weren't perfect. You changed me, Ry. And for the better.

In life after you, I now sit at the kitchen table and reflect on what I've lost. The cupboard, once filled with medications, is empty now, dust collecting in that spot I can't bear to do anything else with. I no longer trip on your tubing as I walk absentmindedly into the lving room. I don't have to wait until you've done your treatments to go to bed. I miss the face you used to make while doing TOBI, begging me to grab you a pop because you couldn't stand that taste. So I watch the candle and wish with all my mind I had a match to relight it.

I hope I was a good wife, Ry. You were an amazing husband.
 

Emily65Roses

New member
I could comment on every word of this, but I have just chosen certain parts I wish to address.

<blockquote>Quote<br><hr><i>Originally posted by: <b>Allie</b></i><br>
the softness and purity of your kiss becomes harder and harder to describe.<hr></blockquote>
Describing and remembering are two very different things. I can remember everything about Mike I've ever known, but I could never describe it effectively. You won't forget.

<blockquote>Quote<br><hr>I miss your cough, Ry.<hr></blockquote>
Only a true love could actually miss that... hah.



<blockquote>Quote<br><hr>AND that night, like every other since then, my heartbeat has softly called your name into the quiet.<hr></blockquote>
You can hear your heartbeat, so it's easy to keep track of. Just because you can't hear his doesn't mean it's not there. Just ask Ahava. Or Aaron. *snort*

<blockquote>Quote<br><hr>always looking for the kind of love you find in the cheesy romance novels that you used to mock<hr></blockquote>
Funny how the men that give us (and also feel in return) the cheesy love from novels also seem to enjoy mocking it. It's guys like Ry where that stuff comes from in the first place. Next time you hear him scoffing or laughing at you for loving a corny movie, or crying over nothing... blame him for it. And then laugh at him.

<blockquote>Quote<br><hr>I hope I was a good wife, Ry. You were an amazing husband.<hr></blockquote>
I'd find this almost amusing, if it weren't sad. I never spoke to Ry once in my life. But I'd be willing to bet that he'd smack you for even asking that.

*love for you* *love for Ahava* *love for Ry* <img src="i/expressions/heart.gif" border="0">
 

Emily65Roses

New member
I could comment on every word of this, but I have just chosen certain parts I wish to address.

<blockquote>Quote<br><hr><i>Originally posted by: <b>Allie</b></i><br>
the softness and purity of your kiss becomes harder and harder to describe.<hr></blockquote>
Describing and remembering are two very different things. I can remember everything about Mike I've ever known, but I could never describe it effectively. You won't forget.

<blockquote>Quote<br><hr>I miss your cough, Ry.<hr></blockquote>
Only a true love could actually miss that... hah.



<blockquote>Quote<br><hr>AND that night, like every other since then, my heartbeat has softly called your name into the quiet.<hr></blockquote>
You can hear your heartbeat, so it's easy to keep track of. Just because you can't hear his doesn't mean it's not there. Just ask Ahava. Or Aaron. *snort*

<blockquote>Quote<br><hr>always looking for the kind of love you find in the cheesy romance novels that you used to mock<hr></blockquote>
Funny how the men that give us (and also feel in return) the cheesy love from novels also seem to enjoy mocking it. It's guys like Ry where that stuff comes from in the first place. Next time you hear him scoffing or laughing at you for loving a corny movie, or crying over nothing... blame him for it. And then laugh at him.

<blockquote>Quote<br><hr>I hope I was a good wife, Ry. You were an amazing husband.<hr></blockquote>
I'd find this almost amusing, if it weren't sad. I never spoke to Ry once in my life. But I'd be willing to bet that he'd smack you for even asking that.

*love for you* *love for Ahava* *love for Ry* <img src="i/expressions/heart.gif" border="0">
 

Faust

New member
Don't have the words Allie. Very well written and got your feelings across perfectly. I'm so sorry you have had to go through all this. Have you ever seen the movie What Dreams May Come? It is an amazingly good movie, and deals with the afterlife. It might be a good movie to watch. Not 100% uplifting, but helps put things in perspective.
 

Faust

New member
Don't have the words Allie. Very well written and got your feelings across perfectly. I'm so sorry you have had to go through all this. Have you ever seen the movie What Dreams May Come? It is an amazingly good movie, and deals with the afterlife. It might be a good movie to watch. Not 100% uplifting, but helps put things in perspective.
 
6

65rosessamurai

Guest
Damn, Allie, I wished I would have read this at home, so I didn't have to fight back the tears so hard while looking at it from work!

As I had at least stated once, I'm sorry for your loss. Through your writings, I believe many will agree with me, we can all see what kind of a person Ry was, and I think he would be saying, "What an amazing wife I had, to stand by me through til the end."

Only other words I can add is that I hope your influence prepares the rest of us on how to prepare our significant others for that day, though no one will ever be prepared, anyway. (I just felt compelled to give some reply)

You're still in my thoughts,

Fred
 
6

65rosessamurai

Guest
Damn, Allie, I wished I would have read this at home, so I didn't have to fight back the tears so hard while looking at it from work!

As I had at least stated once, I'm sorry for your loss. Through your writings, I believe many will agree with me, we can all see what kind of a person Ry was, and I think he would be saying, "What an amazing wife I had, to stand by me through til the end."

Only other words I can add is that I hope your influence prepares the rest of us on how to prepare our significant others for that day, though no one will ever be prepared, anyway. (I just felt compelled to give some reply)

You're still in my thoughts,

Fred
 

Allie

New member
Thanks, you guys. Your support really does mean a lot to me.

And Sean, I love What Dreams May Come, it's one of my favorite movies.
 

Allie

New member
Thanks, you guys. Your support really does mean a lot to me.

And Sean, I love What Dreams May Come, it's one of my favorite movies.
 

anonymous

New member
Allie,
What a beautiful and heart-wrenching tribute to Ry. He sounds like a very special guy, and you seem like a very loving, kind, wife. He was lucky to have you, as you him.
You're in my thoughts and prayers today.
Sonia
 

anonymous

New member
Allie,
What a beautiful and heart-wrenching tribute to Ry. He sounds like a very special guy, and you seem like a very loving, kind, wife. He was lucky to have you, as you him.
You're in my thoughts and prayers today.
Sonia
 

fourkidsmom

New member
Allie,That was beautiful, I hope things get easier for you. I hate that you have to go through all of this, Ry sure sounds like he was an awesome guy. Take care of yourself and you are in my thoughts and prayers. AngieStep mom to Brittany 14 no cfMom to Tyler 12 no cf, cf carrierMom to Brady 4 with cfMom to Taylor 3, no cf, but chromsome 9q 21.2 q 22.1 deletion  
 

fourkidsmom

New member
Allie,That was beautiful, I hope things get easier for you. I hate that you have to go through all of this, Ry sure sounds like he was an awesome guy. Take care of yourself and you are in my thoughts and prayers. AngieStep mom to Brittany 14 no cfMom to Tyler 12 no cf, cf carrierMom to Brady 4 with cfMom to Taylor 3, no cf, but chromsome 9q 21.2 q 22.1 deletion  
 

shauna

New member
wow...i'm at work in tears...you sound like an amazing couple and i'm sure that he short life was so much more fulfilled just for having you in it. he sounds like a very special man, and you sound like a beautiful amazing woman. i dont have any words to express what i want to say except that i'm so sorry that you have to be going through this...it isn't fair.
 

shauna

New member
wow...i'm at work in tears...you sound like an amazing couple and i'm sure that he short life was so much more fulfilled just for having you in it. he sounds like a very special man, and you sound like a beautiful amazing woman. i dont have any words to express what i want to say except that i'm so sorry that you have to be going through this...it isn't fair.
 

JazzysMom

New member
**People alive on earth, may I have your attention: Todays award for most heart wrenching love story to be read so early in the morning goes to....ALLIE. Todays award has been sponsored by no other than Ry. A few words from our sponsor>

Thank you. First I want to say that Emily is correct & that I will need to smack Allie for questioning if she was a good wife. In order for me to choose her for that role, she would have had to be a star already possessing the qualities needed for a soul mate, caretaker, best friend and mother. This is not something that can be learned, but must be embedded in the deepest being of ones soul. Secondly I know from personal observation that she did not have nor did she make any attempt to have a date for the funeral which I arranged so carefully and thirdly....clean the dust from my old medicine cabinet, will you?!"

Thank you all for coming and enjoy your day!

**The contents of this programming are for personal viewing pleasure and should not be duplicated for retail purposes. Anyone caught doing so will be tortured with the chronic cough of the nearest CFer!***
 

JazzysMom

New member
**People alive on earth, may I have your attention: Todays award for most heart wrenching love story to be read so early in the morning goes to....ALLIE. Todays award has been sponsored by no other than Ry. A few words from our sponsor>

Thank you. First I want to say that Emily is correct & that I will need to smack Allie for questioning if she was a good wife. In order for me to choose her for that role, she would have had to be a star already possessing the qualities needed for a soul mate, caretaker, best friend and mother. This is not something that can be learned, but must be embedded in the deepest being of ones soul. Secondly I know from personal observation that she did not have nor did she make any attempt to have a date for the funeral which I arranged so carefully and thirdly....clean the dust from my old medicine cabinet, will you?!"

Thank you all for coming and enjoy your day!

**The contents of this programming are for personal viewing pleasure and should not be duplicated for retail purposes. Anyone caught doing so will be tortured with the chronic cough of the nearest CFer!***
 

anonymous

New member
I am so glad Allie that you have us to share Ry with. Thank you for sharing your feelings. I am sure Ry is so proud of you shinning down on you. I believe we can communicate with loved ones after they are gone through deep prayer. I often see my friends and relatives in my dreams. How refressing to wake up from one of these healing dreams.

love
Risa
 

anonymous

New member
I am so glad Allie that you have us to share Ry with. Thank you for sharing your feelings. I am sure Ry is so proud of you shinning down on you. I believe we can communicate with loved ones after they are gone through deep prayer. I often see my friends and relatives in my dreams. How refressing to wake up from one of these healing dreams.

love
Risa
 
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