Interesting....
As spouses we did not try to make his being hospitalized the most intimate of times. (We wanted to avoid any possibility of "rewarding" his illness by letting it determine when we were "emotionally intimate".)
What we did do is use it as a time when we could let others help both of us as much as possible -- and to try to set up more support for when he got home. Unless he was at death's door, I continued to go to work daily and just stop in to see him in the morning or afternoon (not necessarily every day). We both did our best to get as much sleep as possible -- and good food (even if he had to order out, but most of the Boston hospitals let you call down to their kitchen for whatever you wanted whenever you wanted it.) I usually tried to get a massage or two scheduled.
We did have a hospital bag full of goodies for him to take every time (looked like he was moving in) and we did chat on the phone a lot. And you have to remember that by the time I met him (in his 40s) he was an old hand at going in for cleanouts and blockages - or even being pulled out of respiratory failure.... And his smile and grit brought out the best in every nurse he ever had
The thing that we found out over time is that when they come home they usually need lots of help - THAT's the time that the spouse needs to be fit and rested and ready to go "on duty".
But that was just our experience.....
Edited to add: If I felt like crying, I did. I am no good at stuffing emotions. But I did/do practice meditation and would always just "sit" with the feeling first. Usually that made/makes crying in front of anyone unnecessary. (Hard to explain, but you can experience it.)
