Okay here goes...........
*how did you know s/he was "the one"?
--I knew that Alex was the one about four months into our relationship. The man just grew on me. He was funny, sweet, cute, thoughtful, fun to be around, silly, energetic, and so loving. I told him that I had CF when we had known each other for less than two months. My theory, based on past experiences, was that I wanted to get his reaction early on before I got too attached. His reaction was pretty damn good! He had a lot of questions, but said that my disease was a part of who I am and he loved me for who I was.
*what types of things do you end of troubleshooting in a partnership where one person has CF?
--I think the biggest issue for us is/was communication. Even though he loves me, he has no idea what it's like to have CF. And I have no idea what it means to be in love with someone who has CF. We just always try to talk and be as open with discussions, feelings, and questions as we possibly can be. The more I open up to him and let him in to my mind and heart, the better we get along.
*has CF strengthened, or cause trouble in your relationship?
--I wouldn't say that me having CF has caused trouble, I would say it has put more stress on our relationship. With someone in a marriage having a disease, it is going to make things more difficult... it's inevitable. We have this whole other element to our relationship that most other people don't ever have to think about. Alex and I just try to make all of our additional challenges bring us closer instead of pushing us farther apart. It is really hard sometimes, but he is my rock....I know I can count on him for anything. Neither one of us is going anywhere (not by choice anyway), we're a team.
*if you have CF, what have you been able to teach your partner and vice versa?
--Hmmm, good question. I don't know if teaching is the right word, but he has learned a lot. I mean when I first told him, he hardly even knew what it was. Now, he knows my meds, my vitamins, my IV meds, how to administer meds, my limitations, and challenges. He also has a deeper understanding of how I came to be the person that I am. My experiences have definitely shaped the stubborn, sassy, outspoken, strong, but sometimes vulnerable person that I am. After being together for four years now, he really gets me. Alex has been there through the really good times and the really bad/scary times.
*how did you know that you did/did not want kids?
--We did always want to have kids. Alex and I both came from big families and wanted at least one child. I went to a clinic appointment on my 21st birthday (what a way to celebrate huh?) and the not-so-tactful doctor told me VERY bluntly and out of the blue that I WOULD NOT be able to have children. This was a total upset and shock for me. I was at the appointment alone and spend the whole drive home crying. But then.........I got PISSED off. I decided that no one was going to tell me what I can and cannot do. (This was 2 years before I even met my husband.) So when Alex and I got serious, we had the "kids' talk and both agreed that if I could handle it physically, we wanted to try and have kids at some point. We got engaged 3 months later (in June) and set a wedding date for the following February. That September, I found out I was 5 weeks pregnant. WOW, was that a shocker! We weren't even trying. I actually got kind of freaked out at first because it was so unexpected. Alex was absolutely thrilled, the man did cartwheels out of the room. Anyhoo, the pregnancy wasn't without it's challenges (as is my life), I got sick twice while pregnant and had to do PICC line meds. But my little man is going to be 2 years old in May. He's the light of our lives! Sorry that was so long!
*any tips for marriage/partnerships in which one person has CF?
--I know, as all of us do, the self-conscious feelings that come with having CF. You wonder if anyone will ever love you for who you are and want to deal with all that comes with our disease. I really do believe that there is someone amazing and special out there for everyone. I found my guy when I was least expecting or wanting it. No one is perfect... personality wise, health wise, sanity wise, lol. Alex and I just always try to be as open and honest as we can. Communication is very much key!
