"wanna trade spots?" questions

[ladybug]

Hi...
I've just been thinking of something lately and am wondering if anyone else has had such an experience....

It seems when I run into people who are not happy with their weight, they look at me and say, "Gosh, I sure wish I was as thin as you (or) You wanna trade places (or) Must be nice being so thin" etc. etc.
It sometimes really bothers me, especially when family/friends say it even though they know that I'm thin cause of this disease. I know they don't technically mean they'd trade spots with me (I often say, "OK, well I'll be heavier and you can be thin and have the CF too!") I was just curious how others deal with such comments if and when they come up? I would like to know how others get past comments that seem so innocent to others, but really irk them.

<img src="i/expressions/sun.gif" border="0">

 

[anonymous]

thats one of those questions in which when someone you dontknow who says it to u, you kinda dont know how to answer and just have to shrug it off and be like "um ok" and with those who say it even though they know u have CF, yea it bothers me too, i mean i wont lie, i like the fact that my body is the way it is, but it allcomes with a price, u know?...so when peoplesay it, it irks me too, and those who knowme more, dont say it too me....but the worst of them all, is when they see you eating a lot offood and then say "omg u eat so much and r soo skinny!" along with something tothe effect like "i wish i could dothat, how do u do that?" and you kind of just want to answer them in asnobby manner and be like "yo, i wish i didnt have to eat thismuch ...etc" but you cant, soi guess you just have to shrug comments like that off....it is annoying, but i guess i just get it so often the comments that i just dont pay attention to them anymore, thats the only way...unless you want to go into the whole CF thing, otherwise you just have to be like "yea, watever"
Gabby

 

[lovemygirl]

I can answer this first hand......and I don't have CF. Growing up I was always extremely skinny and it used to bother me when people would comment about it. As I got older I realized that people were actually envious and not trying to make me feel bad. In our society it is more acceptable to be skinny than fat and sometimes I just bit my tongue..........and I know this is not always easy.
It also depends on your relationship with that person. When it was strangers or acquaintances I would just shrug it off......if it was friends or family I would tell them that I was sensitive to it and ask them not to comment. Once a co-worker was trying to be nasty and asked if I was anorexic....she was a very overweight so I asked her how she would feel if someone told her she was fat. Nobody at work ever commented again.
I guess what I am saying is that you have to evaluate your relationship with the person, or the context it was said in and then decide how to reply or not reply.
BTW....my 4 yr old has CF and people often comment and I will reply that yes she is small for her age. Not long ago she asked me not to do it. Just goes to show you that even though I am sensitive to it (having lived it) I still say things without thinking and I don't mean any harm by it.

 

[Lynn]

Ok, a little off the subject. I HATE it when I’m coughing and someone will say “Oh, go have another smoke” or “OMG, you need to quit smoking”.........I HATE THIS SO MUCH.... I HAVE NEVER TOUCHED A F*****G SMOKE IN MY WHOLE LIFE!!!!!!!!! I’ll just ignore them and walk away, but this one time I was in a really bad mood because I was sick, when this stranger said “Oh, go have another smoke”, I replied, “actually, I don’t smoke. I have a lung disease. Maybe you should think before you open your mouth to someone you don’t even know”. He was really embarrassed and walked away from me. I felt good after that!
I always have people say to me "omg, you eat so much and you are so skinny!" I’m SO used to this it actually don’t even bother me anymore.

 

[Nichole]

I really don't take any offense to comments like that. Honestly, I love food a lot and everyday I am incredibly thankful that I get to eat as much as I do. Granted it gets annoying when I have to eat so much that it gets uncomfortable sometimes. You just have to take the good with the bad, and focus on the good. A lot of times I make jokes about how my horrendous appetite comes with a very serious price, so I live it up and enjoy food as much as I can. And then when I'm doubled over coughing from the small bit of laughter, whoever I'm talking to knows I'm not just making it all up.<img src="i/expressions/rose.gif" border="0">

 

[gstvixen]

Hey--I'm pretty happy with the way I look (sure a few extra pounds would be nice for when I get sick...) and I love eating as much as I do bc I love food (hehe). Funny story--I went to a "pool party" once and this girl I met there said "wow, how many sit-ups do you do in a day?" I simply replied "um, I just cough alot"
but..Ive also gotten the "stop smoking" "you should really think about quiting" (quit what, my aerosals?) comments and I hate that but you take the good with the bad I guess...
in times like this: I just remember that some people have no manners or tact, that some are just jealous or those who really didn't mean to offend you, and yet some others are complete idiots!
Take care!

 

[anonymous]

WoW! You guys have just inspired a song..I'm going to write it tomorrow!! A good play would be nice too about switching places with somebody with CF for a week. hmm. I'll definately do the song thing though and propose it to the band!
The smoking comments get my goat a little but hey people are ignorant. I do love how the coughing gives me tight upper abs but my lowers need some work!

Sonya I went for my med exam and it looks good so far. Hopefully I'll know about SSI next month,
Rock N Roll, letsrockcf@hotmail.com www.letsrockcf.com (will be up next week!)
Emily 22 pwcf

 

[princessjdc]

I dont get a lot of comments from strangers about trading weight. It doesnt really bother me, besides the only people i eat around is basically my family and they all know why I eat so much. But the one thing that really bothers me is when an aunt or great aunt or other relatives in that case, sees me that I dont see very often. Comes to me and asks me if I've lost weight. Even though I probably have, but it still bothers me, I dont like it when people comfront my wieght like that. I try my best to keep my weight up, but it is kind of hard when you get sick and dont feel like eating anything. When they do mention my weight I start to worry, and when I worry I dont eat. Weird huh. So i think positive thoughts so that way I dont worry.

Jennifer

 

[anonymous]

I get annoyed when people ask me if I am sick when I am fine!! I know that if people dont know I have CF, and I am coughing, then it is not thier fault. But it realllly bugs me when people who know i have CF will ask questions like "how's your breathing" instead of just "how are you feeling" (or nothing at all). It drives me nuts and seems personal and weird, and makes me feel like i have to stifle coughs the rest of the time with them. plus so many people dont know anything about cf and think its like asthma or something where i just cant breathe some days.

i know they all mean well, but i'd like to think that if i didnt have cf i would try to be a) a little more knowledgable, and b) a little more considerate.

caitlin

p.s., i love when people look at me in a bathing suit and say in a pity voice, "oh my, you have a scar on your back" (fromm my surgery). really? god, where did that come from. i mean really!! if i had a big mole on my face would someone say something then! i dont think so

 

[princessjdc]

I get that a lot too, people asking me if Im sick and Im really not. When I first started my job the publisher used to always ask if I had a cold and of course I didnt. But now after working there for 4 years he doesnt ask that anymore, maybe he is just used to it I guess. Once in a while some people will ask if I have a cold when my voice gets hoarse. Of course I dont its just from coughing a lot.

Jennifer 24w/cf