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We weren't the selected family...
- Thread starter fondreflections
- Start date
First off I'm really sorry about your recent let down. Did they say why you werent selected? Was it because of your CF? I want to adopt and have my own as well. I've been told Cf may hurt your chances of a birthmother picking you but its obviously not impossible. But your fostering, right? So is the birthparents even involved at that point? Or is it all up to the SW on your case?
Hang in there, I'm totally familiar with the feeling of "waiting" to be parents. It will happen! =) In the meantime I'll be praying for the right child to come along for ya!
Hang in there, I'm totally familiar with the feeling of "waiting" to be parents. It will happen! =) In the meantime I'll be praying for the right child to come along for ya!
First off I'm really sorry about your recent let down. Did they say why you werent selected? Was it because of your CF? I want to adopt and have my own as well. I've been told Cf may hurt your chances of a birthmother picking you but its obviously not impossible. But your fostering, right? So is the birthparents even involved at that point? Or is it all up to the SW on your case?
Hang in there, I'm totally familiar with the feeling of "waiting" to be parents. It will happen! =) In the meantime I'll be praying for the right child to come along for ya!
Hang in there, I'm totally familiar with the feeling of "waiting" to be parents. It will happen! =) In the meantime I'll be praying for the right child to come along for ya!
First off I'm really sorry about your recent let down. Did they say why you werent selected? Was it because of your CF? I want to adopt and have my own as well. I've been told Cf may hurt your chances of a birthmother picking you but its obviously not impossible. But your fostering, right? So is the birthparents even involved at that point? Or is it all up to the SW on your case?
Hang in there, I'm totally familiar with the feeling of "waiting" to be parents. It will happen! =) In the meantime I'll be praying for the right child to come along for ya!
Hang in there, I'm totally familiar with the feeling of "waiting" to be parents. It will happen! =) In the meantime I'll be praying for the right child to come along for ya!
First off I'm really sorry about your recent let down. Did they say why you werent selected? Was it because of your CF? I want to adopt and have my own as well. I've been told Cf may hurt your chances of a birthmother picking you but its obviously not impossible. But your fostering, right? So is the birthparents even involved at that point? Or is it all up to the SW on your case?
Hang in there, I'm totally familiar with the feeling of "waiting" to be parents. It will happen! =) In the meantime I'll be praying for the right child to come along for ya!
Hang in there, I'm totally familiar with the feeling of "waiting" to be parents. It will happen! =) In the meantime I'll be praying for the right child to come along for ya!
First off I'm really sorry about your recent let down. Did they say why you werent selected? Was it because of your CF? I want to adopt and have my own as well. I've been told Cf may hurt your chances of a birthmother picking you but its obviously not impossible. But your fostering, right? So is the birthparents even involved at that point? Or is it all up to the SW on your case?
<br />
<br />Hang in there, I'm totally familiar with the feeling of "waiting" to be parents. It will happen! =) In the meantime I'll be praying for the right child to come along for ya!
<br />
<br />Hang in there, I'm totally familiar with the feeling of "waiting" to be parents. It will happen! =) In the meantime I'll be praying for the right child to come along for ya!
fondreflections
New member
Thank you, everyone, for your kind words.
Lamp - What happened was the county worker for the little girl chose another family based on their profile. With that being said, we had various odds against us...
1.) We were out-of-county. The courts prefer a family close to the birth family to make family visitations easier for everyone involved. They want to make sure that distance isn't a factor.
2.) We have no experience, yet. The county would rather give the little girl to a family with experience than one that doesn't. This is one of the main reasons we decided to open up to straight foster care. We really don't have experience with children since we don't even have our own bio kids so this is a great idea for us and for the child that needs a good home. I really don't mind how long he/she/they stay. I am so thankful to at least be given an opportunity. I need someone to give me a chance.
3.) I have CF. Is it discrimatory? Yes, but I can't change that fact. Now if I had experience and 'PROVED' that I was more than capable of caring for a little child, than the CF issue wouldn't carry as much weight.
My agency advised us upfront that 'yes' CF can become an issue when the time for adoption presents itself. It really depends on a few different people. The birth family can make it an issue. However, the social worker on the side of the child can make it an issue too...
This is why Jake and I decided to open up to BOTH foster and fost/adopt. We have to PROVE that I CAN CARE FOR A YOUNG CHILD. I still can't change the life expectancy with CF, but at least I can PROVE that my CF held up with FULL SUPPORT from my CF doctor. It really is the BEST I CAN DO.
Honestly, yes, I can understand the court's hesitation to award long-term custody of a child to someone with CF. I can! I does make sense! However, if no one steps up to the plate to be a parent to a child, then I pray that I'm considered.
It would be MUCH EASIER for us to fost/adopt an older child over the age of 6 (for example). Even to be giving the chance to care for a child over 6 is MUCH QUICKER. The wait time is less. The court is also LESS TOLERATE to the birthparents at this point because there is usually already a story with the child. It would be EASIER for us to adopt a child over 6-years-old. However, we are still going to try for a younger child. If we see either a long wait for a placement or many turndowns, we WILL MOST LIKELY change our profile to include children up to the age of 8.
I have heard waits as long as 6-9 months for my county and surrounding counties from various sources so we'll see...
But back to your question, our rejection came from the court system. We are in the straight foster + fost/adopt programs. The birthmother doesn't really have much pull UNLESS it's either a straight adoption OR the child's parental rights are getting terminated. So IF the birthmother was going to say something about my health, it would have been maybe 2.5 years down the line, not now. Right now, her rights are 'in limbo' so she doesn't have any say.
Yes, I felt 'less marketable' for a private adoption because the birthmother does have to pick YOU! Sometimes people wait years...Jake and I only considered the private adoption route for a few days. We decided it just wasn't for us...
Lamp - What happened was the county worker for the little girl chose another family based on their profile. With that being said, we had various odds against us...
1.) We were out-of-county. The courts prefer a family close to the birth family to make family visitations easier for everyone involved. They want to make sure that distance isn't a factor.
2.) We have no experience, yet. The county would rather give the little girl to a family with experience than one that doesn't. This is one of the main reasons we decided to open up to straight foster care. We really don't have experience with children since we don't even have our own bio kids so this is a great idea for us and for the child that needs a good home. I really don't mind how long he/she/they stay. I am so thankful to at least be given an opportunity. I need someone to give me a chance.
3.) I have CF. Is it discrimatory? Yes, but I can't change that fact. Now if I had experience and 'PROVED' that I was more than capable of caring for a little child, than the CF issue wouldn't carry as much weight.
My agency advised us upfront that 'yes' CF can become an issue when the time for adoption presents itself. It really depends on a few different people. The birth family can make it an issue. However, the social worker on the side of the child can make it an issue too...
This is why Jake and I decided to open up to BOTH foster and fost/adopt. We have to PROVE that I CAN CARE FOR A YOUNG CHILD. I still can't change the life expectancy with CF, but at least I can PROVE that my CF held up with FULL SUPPORT from my CF doctor. It really is the BEST I CAN DO.
Honestly, yes, I can understand the court's hesitation to award long-term custody of a child to someone with CF. I can! I does make sense! However, if no one steps up to the plate to be a parent to a child, then I pray that I'm considered.
It would be MUCH EASIER for us to fost/adopt an older child over the age of 6 (for example). Even to be giving the chance to care for a child over 6 is MUCH QUICKER. The wait time is less. The court is also LESS TOLERATE to the birthparents at this point because there is usually already a story with the child. It would be EASIER for us to adopt a child over 6-years-old. However, we are still going to try for a younger child. If we see either a long wait for a placement or many turndowns, we WILL MOST LIKELY change our profile to include children up to the age of 8.
I have heard waits as long as 6-9 months for my county and surrounding counties from various sources so we'll see...
But back to your question, our rejection came from the court system. We are in the straight foster + fost/adopt programs. The birthmother doesn't really have much pull UNLESS it's either a straight adoption OR the child's parental rights are getting terminated. So IF the birthmother was going to say something about my health, it would have been maybe 2.5 years down the line, not now. Right now, her rights are 'in limbo' so she doesn't have any say.
Yes, I felt 'less marketable' for a private adoption because the birthmother does have to pick YOU! Sometimes people wait years...Jake and I only considered the private adoption route for a few days. We decided it just wasn't for us...
fondreflections
New member
Thank you, everyone, for your kind words.
Lamp - What happened was the county worker for the little girl chose another family based on their profile. With that being said, we had various odds against us...
1.) We were out-of-county. The courts prefer a family close to the birth family to make family visitations easier for everyone involved. They want to make sure that distance isn't a factor.
2.) We have no experience, yet. The county would rather give the little girl to a family with experience than one that doesn't. This is one of the main reasons we decided to open up to straight foster care. We really don't have experience with children since we don't even have our own bio kids so this is a great idea for us and for the child that needs a good home. I really don't mind how long he/she/they stay. I am so thankful to at least be given an opportunity. I need someone to give me a chance.
3.) I have CF. Is it discrimatory? Yes, but I can't change that fact. Now if I had experience and 'PROVED' that I was more than capable of caring for a little child, than the CF issue wouldn't carry as much weight.
My agency advised us upfront that 'yes' CF can become an issue when the time for adoption presents itself. It really depends on a few different people. The birth family can make it an issue. However, the social worker on the side of the child can make it an issue too...
This is why Jake and I decided to open up to BOTH foster and fost/adopt. We have to PROVE that I CAN CARE FOR A YOUNG CHILD. I still can't change the life expectancy with CF, but at least I can PROVE that my CF held up with FULL SUPPORT from my CF doctor. It really is the BEST I CAN DO.
Honestly, yes, I can understand the court's hesitation to award long-term custody of a child to someone with CF. I can! I does make sense! However, if no one steps up to the plate to be a parent to a child, then I pray that I'm considered.
It would be MUCH EASIER for us to fost/adopt an older child over the age of 6 (for example). Even to be giving the chance to care for a child over 6 is MUCH QUICKER. The wait time is less. The court is also LESS TOLERATE to the birthparents at this point because there is usually already a story with the child. It would be EASIER for us to adopt a child over 6-years-old. However, we are still going to try for a younger child. If we see either a long wait for a placement or many turndowns, we WILL MOST LIKELY change our profile to include children up to the age of 8.
I have heard waits as long as 6-9 months for my county and surrounding counties from various sources so we'll see...
But back to your question, our rejection came from the court system. We are in the straight foster + fost/adopt programs. The birthmother doesn't really have much pull UNLESS it's either a straight adoption OR the child's parental rights are getting terminated. So IF the birthmother was going to say something about my health, it would have been maybe 2.5 years down the line, not now. Right now, her rights are 'in limbo' so she doesn't have any say.
Yes, I felt 'less marketable' for a private adoption because the birthmother does have to pick YOU! Sometimes people wait years...Jake and I only considered the private adoption route for a few days. We decided it just wasn't for us...
Lamp - What happened was the county worker for the little girl chose another family based on their profile. With that being said, we had various odds against us...
1.) We were out-of-county. The courts prefer a family close to the birth family to make family visitations easier for everyone involved. They want to make sure that distance isn't a factor.
2.) We have no experience, yet. The county would rather give the little girl to a family with experience than one that doesn't. This is one of the main reasons we decided to open up to straight foster care. We really don't have experience with children since we don't even have our own bio kids so this is a great idea for us and for the child that needs a good home. I really don't mind how long he/she/they stay. I am so thankful to at least be given an opportunity. I need someone to give me a chance.
3.) I have CF. Is it discrimatory? Yes, but I can't change that fact. Now if I had experience and 'PROVED' that I was more than capable of caring for a little child, than the CF issue wouldn't carry as much weight.
My agency advised us upfront that 'yes' CF can become an issue when the time for adoption presents itself. It really depends on a few different people. The birth family can make it an issue. However, the social worker on the side of the child can make it an issue too...
This is why Jake and I decided to open up to BOTH foster and fost/adopt. We have to PROVE that I CAN CARE FOR A YOUNG CHILD. I still can't change the life expectancy with CF, but at least I can PROVE that my CF held up with FULL SUPPORT from my CF doctor. It really is the BEST I CAN DO.
Honestly, yes, I can understand the court's hesitation to award long-term custody of a child to someone with CF. I can! I does make sense! However, if no one steps up to the plate to be a parent to a child, then I pray that I'm considered.
It would be MUCH EASIER for us to fost/adopt an older child over the age of 6 (for example). Even to be giving the chance to care for a child over 6 is MUCH QUICKER. The wait time is less. The court is also LESS TOLERATE to the birthparents at this point because there is usually already a story with the child. It would be EASIER for us to adopt a child over 6-years-old. However, we are still going to try for a younger child. If we see either a long wait for a placement or many turndowns, we WILL MOST LIKELY change our profile to include children up to the age of 8.
I have heard waits as long as 6-9 months for my county and surrounding counties from various sources so we'll see...
But back to your question, our rejection came from the court system. We are in the straight foster + fost/adopt programs. The birthmother doesn't really have much pull UNLESS it's either a straight adoption OR the child's parental rights are getting terminated. So IF the birthmother was going to say something about my health, it would have been maybe 2.5 years down the line, not now. Right now, her rights are 'in limbo' so she doesn't have any say.
Yes, I felt 'less marketable' for a private adoption because the birthmother does have to pick YOU! Sometimes people wait years...Jake and I only considered the private adoption route for a few days. We decided it just wasn't for us...
fondreflections
New member
Thank you, everyone, for your kind words.
Lamp - What happened was the county worker for the little girl chose another family based on their profile. With that being said, we had various odds against us...
1.) We were out-of-county. The courts prefer a family close to the birth family to make family visitations easier for everyone involved. They want to make sure that distance isn't a factor.
2.) We have no experience, yet. The county would rather give the little girl to a family with experience than one that doesn't. This is one of the main reasons we decided to open up to straight foster care. We really don't have experience with children since we don't even have our own bio kids so this is a great idea for us and for the child that needs a good home. I really don't mind how long he/she/they stay. I am so thankful to at least be given an opportunity. I need someone to give me a chance.
3.) I have CF. Is it discrimatory? Yes, but I can't change that fact. Now if I had experience and 'PROVED' that I was more than capable of caring for a little child, than the CF issue wouldn't carry as much weight.
My agency advised us upfront that 'yes' CF can become an issue when the time for adoption presents itself. It really depends on a few different people. The birth family can make it an issue. However, the social worker on the side of the child can make it an issue too...
This is why Jake and I decided to open up to BOTH foster and fost/adopt. We have to PROVE that I CAN CARE FOR A YOUNG CHILD. I still can't change the life expectancy with CF, but at least I can PROVE that my CF held up with FULL SUPPORT from my CF doctor. It really is the BEST I CAN DO.
Honestly, yes, I can understand the court's hesitation to award long-term custody of a child to someone with CF. I can! I does make sense! However, if no one steps up to the plate to be a parent to a child, then I pray that I'm considered.
It would be MUCH EASIER for us to fost/adopt an older child over the age of 6 (for example). Even to be giving the chance to care for a child over 6 is MUCH QUICKER. The wait time is less. The court is also LESS TOLERATE to the birthparents at this point because there is usually already a story with the child. It would be EASIER for us to adopt a child over 6-years-old. However, we are still going to try for a younger child. If we see either a long wait for a placement or many turndowns, we WILL MOST LIKELY change our profile to include children up to the age of 8.
I have heard waits as long as 6-9 months for my county and surrounding counties from various sources so we'll see...
But back to your question, our rejection came from the court system. We are in the straight foster + fost/adopt programs. The birthmother doesn't really have much pull UNLESS it's either a straight adoption OR the child's parental rights are getting terminated. So IF the birthmother was going to say something about my health, it would have been maybe 2.5 years down the line, not now. Right now, her rights are 'in limbo' so she doesn't have any say.
Yes, I felt 'less marketable' for a private adoption because the birthmother does have to pick YOU! Sometimes people wait years...Jake and I only considered the private adoption route for a few days. We decided it just wasn't for us...
Lamp - What happened was the county worker for the little girl chose another family based on their profile. With that being said, we had various odds against us...
1.) We were out-of-county. The courts prefer a family close to the birth family to make family visitations easier for everyone involved. They want to make sure that distance isn't a factor.
2.) We have no experience, yet. The county would rather give the little girl to a family with experience than one that doesn't. This is one of the main reasons we decided to open up to straight foster care. We really don't have experience with children since we don't even have our own bio kids so this is a great idea for us and for the child that needs a good home. I really don't mind how long he/she/they stay. I am so thankful to at least be given an opportunity. I need someone to give me a chance.
3.) I have CF. Is it discrimatory? Yes, but I can't change that fact. Now if I had experience and 'PROVED' that I was more than capable of caring for a little child, than the CF issue wouldn't carry as much weight.
My agency advised us upfront that 'yes' CF can become an issue when the time for adoption presents itself. It really depends on a few different people. The birth family can make it an issue. However, the social worker on the side of the child can make it an issue too...
This is why Jake and I decided to open up to BOTH foster and fost/adopt. We have to PROVE that I CAN CARE FOR A YOUNG CHILD. I still can't change the life expectancy with CF, but at least I can PROVE that my CF held up with FULL SUPPORT from my CF doctor. It really is the BEST I CAN DO.
Honestly, yes, I can understand the court's hesitation to award long-term custody of a child to someone with CF. I can! I does make sense! However, if no one steps up to the plate to be a parent to a child, then I pray that I'm considered.
It would be MUCH EASIER for us to fost/adopt an older child over the age of 6 (for example). Even to be giving the chance to care for a child over 6 is MUCH QUICKER. The wait time is less. The court is also LESS TOLERATE to the birthparents at this point because there is usually already a story with the child. It would be EASIER for us to adopt a child over 6-years-old. However, we are still going to try for a younger child. If we see either a long wait for a placement or many turndowns, we WILL MOST LIKELY change our profile to include children up to the age of 8.
I have heard waits as long as 6-9 months for my county and surrounding counties from various sources so we'll see...
But back to your question, our rejection came from the court system. We are in the straight foster + fost/adopt programs. The birthmother doesn't really have much pull UNLESS it's either a straight adoption OR the child's parental rights are getting terminated. So IF the birthmother was going to say something about my health, it would have been maybe 2.5 years down the line, not now. Right now, her rights are 'in limbo' so she doesn't have any say.
Yes, I felt 'less marketable' for a private adoption because the birthmother does have to pick YOU! Sometimes people wait years...Jake and I only considered the private adoption route for a few days. We decided it just wasn't for us...
fondreflections
New member
Thank you, everyone, for your kind words.
Lamp - What happened was the county worker for the little girl chose another family based on their profile. With that being said, we had various odds against us...
1.) We were out-of-county. The courts prefer a family close to the birth family to make family visitations easier for everyone involved. They want to make sure that distance isn't a factor.
2.) We have no experience, yet. The county would rather give the little girl to a family with experience than one that doesn't. This is one of the main reasons we decided to open up to straight foster care. We really don't have experience with children since we don't even have our own bio kids so this is a great idea for us and for the child that needs a good home. I really don't mind how long he/she/they stay. I am so thankful to at least be given an opportunity. I need someone to give me a chance.
3.) I have CF. Is it discrimatory? Yes, but I can't change that fact. Now if I had experience and 'PROVED' that I was more than capable of caring for a little child, than the CF issue wouldn't carry as much weight.
My agency advised us upfront that 'yes' CF can become an issue when the time for adoption presents itself. It really depends on a few different people. The birth family can make it an issue. However, the social worker on the side of the child can make it an issue too...
This is why Jake and I decided to open up to BOTH foster and fost/adopt. We have to PROVE that I CAN CARE FOR A YOUNG CHILD. I still can't change the life expectancy with CF, but at least I can PROVE that my CF held up with FULL SUPPORT from my CF doctor. It really is the BEST I CAN DO.
Honestly, yes, I can understand the court's hesitation to award long-term custody of a child to someone with CF. I can! I does make sense! However, if no one steps up to the plate to be a parent to a child, then I pray that I'm considered.
It would be MUCH EASIER for us to fost/adopt an older child over the age of 6 (for example). Even to be giving the chance to care for a child over 6 is MUCH QUICKER. The wait time is less. The court is also LESS TOLERATE to the birthparents at this point because there is usually already a story with the child. It would be EASIER for us to adopt a child over 6-years-old. However, we are still going to try for a younger child. If we see either a long wait for a placement or many turndowns, we WILL MOST LIKELY change our profile to include children up to the age of 8.
I have heard waits as long as 6-9 months for my county and surrounding counties from various sources so we'll see...
But back to your question, our rejection came from the court system. We are in the straight foster + fost/adopt programs. The birthmother doesn't really have much pull UNLESS it's either a straight adoption OR the child's parental rights are getting terminated. So IF the birthmother was going to say something about my health, it would have been maybe 2.5 years down the line, not now. Right now, her rights are 'in limbo' so she doesn't have any say.
Yes, I felt 'less marketable' for a private adoption because the birthmother does have to pick YOU! Sometimes people wait years...Jake and I only considered the private adoption route for a few days. We decided it just wasn't for us...
Lamp - What happened was the county worker for the little girl chose another family based on their profile. With that being said, we had various odds against us...
1.) We were out-of-county. The courts prefer a family close to the birth family to make family visitations easier for everyone involved. They want to make sure that distance isn't a factor.
2.) We have no experience, yet. The county would rather give the little girl to a family with experience than one that doesn't. This is one of the main reasons we decided to open up to straight foster care. We really don't have experience with children since we don't even have our own bio kids so this is a great idea for us and for the child that needs a good home. I really don't mind how long he/she/they stay. I am so thankful to at least be given an opportunity. I need someone to give me a chance.
3.) I have CF. Is it discrimatory? Yes, but I can't change that fact. Now if I had experience and 'PROVED' that I was more than capable of caring for a little child, than the CF issue wouldn't carry as much weight.
My agency advised us upfront that 'yes' CF can become an issue when the time for adoption presents itself. It really depends on a few different people. The birth family can make it an issue. However, the social worker on the side of the child can make it an issue too...
This is why Jake and I decided to open up to BOTH foster and fost/adopt. We have to PROVE that I CAN CARE FOR A YOUNG CHILD. I still can't change the life expectancy with CF, but at least I can PROVE that my CF held up with FULL SUPPORT from my CF doctor. It really is the BEST I CAN DO.
Honestly, yes, I can understand the court's hesitation to award long-term custody of a child to someone with CF. I can! I does make sense! However, if no one steps up to the plate to be a parent to a child, then I pray that I'm considered.
It would be MUCH EASIER for us to fost/adopt an older child over the age of 6 (for example). Even to be giving the chance to care for a child over 6 is MUCH QUICKER. The wait time is less. The court is also LESS TOLERATE to the birthparents at this point because there is usually already a story with the child. It would be EASIER for us to adopt a child over 6-years-old. However, we are still going to try for a younger child. If we see either a long wait for a placement or many turndowns, we WILL MOST LIKELY change our profile to include children up to the age of 8.
I have heard waits as long as 6-9 months for my county and surrounding counties from various sources so we'll see...
But back to your question, our rejection came from the court system. We are in the straight foster + fost/adopt programs. The birthmother doesn't really have much pull UNLESS it's either a straight adoption OR the child's parental rights are getting terminated. So IF the birthmother was going to say something about my health, it would have been maybe 2.5 years down the line, not now. Right now, her rights are 'in limbo' so she doesn't have any say.
Yes, I felt 'less marketable' for a private adoption because the birthmother does have to pick YOU! Sometimes people wait years...Jake and I only considered the private adoption route for a few days. We decided it just wasn't for us...
fondreflections
New member
Thank you, everyone, for your kind words.
<br />
<br />Lamp - What happened was the county worker for the little girl chose another family based on their profile. With that being said, we had various odds against us...
<br />
<br />1.) We were out-of-county. The courts prefer a family close to the birth family to make family visitations easier for everyone involved. They want to make sure that distance isn't a factor.
<br />
<br />2.) We have no experience, yet. The county would rather give the little girl to a family with experience than one that doesn't. This is one of the main reasons we decided to open up to straight foster care. We really don't have experience with children since we don't even have our own bio kids so this is a great idea for us and for the child that needs a good home. I really don't mind how long he/she/they stay. I am so thankful to at least be given an opportunity. I need someone to give me a chance.
<br />
<br />3.) I have CF. Is it discrimatory? Yes, but I can't change that fact. Now if I had experience and 'PROVED' that I was more than capable of caring for a little child, than the CF issue wouldn't carry as much weight.
<br />
<br />My agency advised us upfront that 'yes' CF can become an issue when the time for adoption presents itself. It really depends on a few different people. The birth family can make it an issue. However, the social worker on the side of the child can make it an issue too...
<br />
<br />This is why Jake and I decided to open up to BOTH foster and fost/adopt. We have to PROVE that I CAN CARE FOR A YOUNG CHILD. I still can't change the life expectancy with CF, but at least I can PROVE that my CF held up with FULL SUPPORT from my CF doctor. It really is the BEST I CAN DO.
<br />
<br />Honestly, yes, I can understand the court's hesitation to award long-term custody of a child to someone with CF. I can! I does make sense! However, if no one steps up to the plate to be a parent to a child, then I pray that I'm considered.
<br />
<br />It would be MUCH EASIER for us to fost/adopt an older child over the age of 6 (for example). Even to be giving the chance to care for a child over 6 is MUCH QUICKER. The wait time is less. The court is also LESS TOLERATE to the birthparents at this point because there is usually already a story with the child. It would be EASIER for us to adopt a child over 6-years-old. However, we are still going to try for a younger child. If we see either a long wait for a placement or many turndowns, we WILL MOST LIKELY change our profile to include children up to the age of 8.
<br />
<br />I have heard waits as long as 6-9 months for my county and surrounding counties from various sources so we'll see...
<br />
<br />But back to your question, our rejection came from the court system. We are in the straight foster + fost/adopt programs. The birthmother doesn't really have much pull UNLESS it's either a straight adoption OR the child's parental rights are getting terminated. So IF the birthmother was going to say something about my health, it would have been maybe 2.5 years down the line, not now. Right now, her rights are 'in limbo' so she doesn't have any say.
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<br />Yes, I felt 'less marketable' for a private adoption because the birthmother does have to pick YOU! Sometimes people wait years...Jake and I only considered the private adoption route for a few days. We decided it just wasn't for us...
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<br />Lamp - What happened was the county worker for the little girl chose another family based on their profile. With that being said, we had various odds against us...
<br />
<br />1.) We were out-of-county. The courts prefer a family close to the birth family to make family visitations easier for everyone involved. They want to make sure that distance isn't a factor.
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<br />2.) We have no experience, yet. The county would rather give the little girl to a family with experience than one that doesn't. This is one of the main reasons we decided to open up to straight foster care. We really don't have experience with children since we don't even have our own bio kids so this is a great idea for us and for the child that needs a good home. I really don't mind how long he/she/they stay. I am so thankful to at least be given an opportunity. I need someone to give me a chance.
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<br />3.) I have CF. Is it discrimatory? Yes, but I can't change that fact. Now if I had experience and 'PROVED' that I was more than capable of caring for a little child, than the CF issue wouldn't carry as much weight.
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<br />My agency advised us upfront that 'yes' CF can become an issue when the time for adoption presents itself. It really depends on a few different people. The birth family can make it an issue. However, the social worker on the side of the child can make it an issue too...
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<br />This is why Jake and I decided to open up to BOTH foster and fost/adopt. We have to PROVE that I CAN CARE FOR A YOUNG CHILD. I still can't change the life expectancy with CF, but at least I can PROVE that my CF held up with FULL SUPPORT from my CF doctor. It really is the BEST I CAN DO.
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<br />Honestly, yes, I can understand the court's hesitation to award long-term custody of a child to someone with CF. I can! I does make sense! However, if no one steps up to the plate to be a parent to a child, then I pray that I'm considered.
<br />
<br />It would be MUCH EASIER for us to fost/adopt an older child over the age of 6 (for example). Even to be giving the chance to care for a child over 6 is MUCH QUICKER. The wait time is less. The court is also LESS TOLERATE to the birthparents at this point because there is usually already a story with the child. It would be EASIER for us to adopt a child over 6-years-old. However, we are still going to try for a younger child. If we see either a long wait for a placement or many turndowns, we WILL MOST LIKELY change our profile to include children up to the age of 8.
<br />
<br />I have heard waits as long as 6-9 months for my county and surrounding counties from various sources so we'll see...
<br />
<br />But back to your question, our rejection came from the court system. We are in the straight foster + fost/adopt programs. The birthmother doesn't really have much pull UNLESS it's either a straight adoption OR the child's parental rights are getting terminated. So IF the birthmother was going to say something about my health, it would have been maybe 2.5 years down the line, not now. Right now, her rights are 'in limbo' so she doesn't have any say.
<br />
<br />Yes, I felt 'less marketable' for a private adoption because the birthmother does have to pick YOU! Sometimes people wait years...Jake and I only considered the private adoption route for a few days. We decided it just wasn't for us...
fondreflections
New member
So anyway, we are back to waiting.
We seem to be getting calls every 2 weeks which is PRETTY GOOD compared to the average waiting couple. Heck, we were the ONLY ones in our certification classes that even got calls!!!
Hopefully, this week we will get THE CALL. It will be 2 weeks this Tuesday since first learning of the little girl. It was 2 weeks prior to that that we got the call for the 3 children. So I'm keeping my fingers crossed...
Edited to Add: I will be posting some pictures of the child's room on my blog shortly!!!
We seem to be getting calls every 2 weeks which is PRETTY GOOD compared to the average waiting couple. Heck, we were the ONLY ones in our certification classes that even got calls!!!
Hopefully, this week we will get THE CALL. It will be 2 weeks this Tuesday since first learning of the little girl. It was 2 weeks prior to that that we got the call for the 3 children. So I'm keeping my fingers crossed...
Edited to Add: I will be posting some pictures of the child's room on my blog shortly!!!
fondreflections
New member
So anyway, we are back to waiting.
We seem to be getting calls every 2 weeks which is PRETTY GOOD compared to the average waiting couple. Heck, we were the ONLY ones in our certification classes that even got calls!!!
Hopefully, this week we will get THE CALL. It will be 2 weeks this Tuesday since first learning of the little girl. It was 2 weeks prior to that that we got the call for the 3 children. So I'm keeping my fingers crossed...
Edited to Add: I will be posting some pictures of the child's room on my blog shortly!!!
We seem to be getting calls every 2 weeks which is PRETTY GOOD compared to the average waiting couple. Heck, we were the ONLY ones in our certification classes that even got calls!!!
Hopefully, this week we will get THE CALL. It will be 2 weeks this Tuesday since first learning of the little girl. It was 2 weeks prior to that that we got the call for the 3 children. So I'm keeping my fingers crossed...
Edited to Add: I will be posting some pictures of the child's room on my blog shortly!!!
fondreflections
New member
So anyway, we are back to waiting.
We seem to be getting calls every 2 weeks which is PRETTY GOOD compared to the average waiting couple. Heck, we were the ONLY ones in our certification classes that even got calls!!!
Hopefully, this week we will get THE CALL. It will be 2 weeks this Tuesday since first learning of the little girl. It was 2 weeks prior to that that we got the call for the 3 children. So I'm keeping my fingers crossed...
Edited to Add: I will be posting some pictures of the child's room on my blog shortly!!!
We seem to be getting calls every 2 weeks which is PRETTY GOOD compared to the average waiting couple. Heck, we were the ONLY ones in our certification classes that even got calls!!!
Hopefully, this week we will get THE CALL. It will be 2 weeks this Tuesday since first learning of the little girl. It was 2 weeks prior to that that we got the call for the 3 children. So I'm keeping my fingers crossed...
Edited to Add: I will be posting some pictures of the child's room on my blog shortly!!!
fondreflections
New member
So anyway, we are back to waiting.
We seem to be getting calls every 2 weeks which is PRETTY GOOD compared to the average waiting couple. Heck, we were the ONLY ones in our certification classes that even got calls!!!
Hopefully, this week we will get THE CALL. It will be 2 weeks this Tuesday since first learning of the little girl. It was 2 weeks prior to that that we got the call for the 3 children. So I'm keeping my fingers crossed...
Edited to Add: I will be posting some pictures of the child's room on my blog shortly!!!
We seem to be getting calls every 2 weeks which is PRETTY GOOD compared to the average waiting couple. Heck, we were the ONLY ones in our certification classes that even got calls!!!
Hopefully, this week we will get THE CALL. It will be 2 weeks this Tuesday since first learning of the little girl. It was 2 weeks prior to that that we got the call for the 3 children. So I'm keeping my fingers crossed...
Edited to Add: I will be posting some pictures of the child's room on my blog shortly!!!
fondreflections
New member
So anyway, we are back to waiting.
<br />
<br />We seem to be getting calls every 2 weeks which is PRETTY GOOD compared to the average waiting couple. Heck, we were the ONLY ones in our certification classes that even got calls!!!
<br />
<br />Hopefully, this week we will get THE CALL. It will be 2 weeks this Tuesday since first learning of the little girl. It was 2 weeks prior to that that we got the call for the 3 children. So I'm keeping my fingers crossed...
<br />
<br />Edited to Add: I will be posting some pictures of the child's room on my blog shortly!!!
<br />
<br />We seem to be getting calls every 2 weeks which is PRETTY GOOD compared to the average waiting couple. Heck, we were the ONLY ones in our certification classes that even got calls!!!
<br />
<br />Hopefully, this week we will get THE CALL. It will be 2 weeks this Tuesday since first learning of the little girl. It was 2 weeks prior to that that we got the call for the 3 children. So I'm keeping my fingers crossed...
<br />
<br />Edited to Add: I will be posting some pictures of the child's room on my blog shortly!!!