What can I do for him?

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TheAlmightyOne

New member
Okay, so I have a friend (14 years old) with cystic fibrosis in the hospital right now, and I want to know if there is anything that would make him... I don't know, less lonely?
His mom was a drunk and ran away, and his dad isn't exactly very.. supportive. At all. So, I'm sort of like his mom. Its a long story, but somehow I just feel like I need to take care of him.
He's living with his grandmother right now, and she doesn't visit him. Pretty much ever. I would imagine he gets pretty lonely. I just visited him on wednesday, and when I asked him how he was, he said "I'm... well..." then trailed off. So, yeah. He isn't doing great. He has pnuemonia.
So, please. Help me...er....help him? o.0
 
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JazzysMom

New member
Visit, call &/or send thinking of you cards as much as possible. Maybe bring puzzles or music or something. Try not to focus on the "health" part of things. I mean he already knows why he is in the hospital. Try to just keep reminding him that you are always thinking of him etc. It makes a difference!
 
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TheAlmightyOne

New member
Thank you for the advice. It was a brief "How are you?" at first, but then we just talked about school and such. I really want to see him again. Thanks again!
 
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Emily65Roses

New member
Always bring him food, too!! Hospital food sucks! As we know, CFers need to keep up their weight. Anything you can bring him that he likes to eat is always a plus. <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">
 
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thelizardqueen

New member
Definitly bring him lots of food, games, magazines, or even some of his favorite reading materials if he's a reader. I think just you coming to visit him or call when you can't is great. None of my friends came to visit me while I was in a couple of weeks ago, but I know I would have appreciated at least a phone call.
 
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Jane

Digital opinion leader
Video games or game boy games are good. Sometimes the hospital will have a laptop so he can IM people. My kids like to shoot nerf basketball or make paper airplanes.

It is always nice to have kids from school make cards or sign a banner. If you go visit, bring a funny movie, some popcorn and soda.

It is awesome of you to do this for your friend!
 
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Brad

New member
That is so sad . time in the hospital is slow........

I think the best thing is just to show up

let him see you, so he know someone cares about him....


I know when I am in, I get really bored and I do have family
But when I am in, I go to a hospital kinda far away for a during
the week visit,

I saw your post Liz, my friends don't visit when I am in either,I wonder why.....

I Hope The young Fellow makes out well.......
 
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anonymous

New member
WALT,
HI MY NAME IS KIM I HAVE 4 FRIENDS WITH CF SO I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL ONE OF THEM I USE TO DATE.TWO OF MY FRIENDS HAVE PAST ON THE OTHER TWO ARE STILL LIVING.ANYWAYS I WAS LIKE YOU AT FIRST I DID NOT KNOW HOW TO ACT AROUND THEM AND I WAS ALL WORRIED ABOUT THERE HEALTH AND NOW I AM MORE WORRIED ABOUT MAKING THEM HAPPY LAUGHING WITH THEM ACTING CRAZY ACTING LIKE A CHILD WITH THEM WE HAVE PUT SOCKS ON AND AND RAN UP AND DOWN THE HALL WE HAVE PUT GLOVES ON OUR HEAD AND WALKED AROUND LIKE CHICKENS ROLLED EACH OTHER WITH TOWLET TISSUE JUST MAKE IT AS MUCH FUN AS YOU CAN IN THE HOSPTIAL HE WILL BE IN AND OUT OF THE HOSPITAL THE REST OF HIS LIFE WE HAVE JUST GOT TO LET THEM KNOW THAT WE WILL ALWAYS BE HERE FOR THEM AND WE ARE NOT GOING ANYWHERE.
KIM MANNING
SCOTTSBORO,ALABAMA
 
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Mockingbird

New member
(Actually, Walt is the name of the poet, not the poster. =-)

I'm sure you know him better than anyone else. I agree it only matters that you take the time. And remember, teens can be good at hiding their feelings (and given his family history, i would venture to guess he has gotten very good at that); just because he doesn't look excited to see you doesn't mean it isn't making a difference. =-)

"A chid said, <i>What is the grass?</i> fetching it to me with full hands;
How could I answer the child? I do not know what it is any more than he."
 
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thefrogprincess

New member
Whenever I'm out of commission so to speak, I am bored out of my skull!!!!!! Bring him things to do. Games, puzzles, books, movies if his room has a VCR or DVD player. Also visit whenever you can, or bring other kids too. CFers are usually asked to not be around other patients too but because of cross contamination.
 
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JennifersHope

New member
What a gift that child has received in you. I have had ppl in my life 'step up to the plate" when I had no one else. I can't even tell you the joy that filled my heart as a result, even now, with all the friends and family I have, those people that were there for me when I had no one remain the most precious to me.

I agree with the food thing.. We are always hungry.... BUt mainly for me, just having someone there, sitting with me really picks my spirits up. I love to watch movies, talk, anything..just knowing I am loved and supported goes so far.

Does he have a portable DVD player? Movies and the other things that ppl said.

I feel bad that he is going through all this. Please keep posting and letting us know how things are going.

Thanks,

Jennifer
 
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anonymous

New member
Hi Almighty (notice the big "A" this time),

As I recall you're about 14 yourself, so the best medicine you can offer is just to be there and to "hang out" with him. Not only is this the best medicine but the kind of unique medicine that only you, another 14-year-old, can offer.

Stay in touch with your other friends and keep abreast of your regular interests and his interests. Then when you visit you can bring him up to date with gossip and stuff.

You can't fix him (and you are such a good friend that I wouldn't be surprised if you would want to), and you ccon't try to be his mom (even tho' he seems short one now) because that would "screw" your friendship big time in the long run. But you can do something even better. You can accept him just the way he is. You two can watch TV together. Read books and magazines. Maybe you can do a food and drink runs for him (if either of you have the funds - or if the nurses know some way - like maybe there's food in the fridge on the floor he can have).

But mostly it's the hang out thing. It can get so boring in the hospital--and lonely. Having a friend to hang out with really makes a difference.

Hugs
 
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LisaV

New member
and when you can't visit (and there will be lots of times you can't no doubt) then phone calls are a really good pick me up. Some folks like long calls, but some (like my husband) find that tiring when their in the hospital. My husband liked lots of little short ones. We'd just share what we'd done (what had happened) since the last phone call. Lots of times it was really boring routine things like he'd say "started another IV" or "Pt came in and beat on me" or whatever and I'd my stuff would be just as seemingly dull like "lots of traffic drivin into work this morning" or "saw Donna during break and she says....". But it did help to keep him connected to the nonhospital/nonillness world.
 
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