What would you do?

fondreflections · Nov 17, 2008

Well, a lot has happened in the past 4 days...

Last Thursday, the boys were suppose to have a Mom visit. Well, I no sooner got them out the door for the waiting driver, and the phone rang. It was my caseworker telling me that their Mom was in a car accident the night before. She is okay but has a broken ankle. The kids had just left, and the driver didn't have a cell phone. The poor guy rang 1 hour up only to turn around. As far as Mom, the whole thing was stupid, to be honest. She had graduated parenting classes Wednesday night and decided to go to a bar...The rest is history...

Today I was informed that she is looking at jail time for DUI, in danger of losing her job, and in danger of losing her apartment. Needless to say, she has lost ALL visits with the boys for at least the next month, including Thanksgiving.

Now, this is where I could use some of your thoughts...These boys were really only suppose to be in foster care for 6 months. Well, Jake and I have been told that we will now have the boys for A LEAST 1 YEAR. In addition, they MIGHT go up for adoption AT SOME POINT. However, they are a placement from a county that REALLY drags their feet to terminate parental rights. The state ALWAYS has to step in. For example, some of the children from that county have been in foster care for 4 or 5 years BEFORE the county finally allows them to be adopted!!!

With that being said, my brains are running a mile a minute. I DON'T HAVE A PROBLEM HAVING THEM FOR YEARS; HOWEVER, I ALWAYS WANTED TO ADOPT. That is why Jake and I got into all this in the first place. My theory is to keep these little boys BUT MAYBE look into possibly having another child...

Jake and I are on the fence. He says that if my health can handle it, go for it. He said he always wanted a large family ( 5 children) but respected my CF to not. My FEV1 isn't great...57%. It was 64%, but I'm currently still trying to fight off the sickness that I managed to get during the first and second week that I got them. Things are REALLY GOOD now with them, thank God.

I'm not sure which way to turn, honestly. I won't give them up unless they go back to Mom. However, I don't want to have them for YEARS and then be returned to Mom. I would be left holding the bag and wasting precious years that I just don't have.

Having them and seeing the progress that they have made makes me so happy yet Mom call all the shots, down to their haircuts!!! I have been in contact with their school twice now to explain that I am waiting on Mom to sign consent, and that's it not me...

All of these things are weaning me from trying a fost/adopt, girl placement (0-1 years old). Heck, my friend waited 8 months for a fost/adopt placement. She had the baby 6 months, and he returned home. Now, she is waiting again...

I'm thinking maybe just a straight adoption placement YET I STILL yearn to have my OWN child. I WANT THE PREGNANCY EXPERIENCE. I WANT THE LEGAL RIGHTS. I DON'T WANT MORE LEGAL HEADACHES AND MORE DEPENDENCES UPON THE COUNTY OR STATE. I ALSO DON'T WANT TO ONLY EVER BE A FOSTER PARENT.

I don't know...I could really use some advice...I do think my FEV1 is too low to support three children YET I believe I deserve to be an adoptable parent not just a foster parent for years. For that reason, I am considering a third child. If they go home, then I at least have A CHILD. If they don't, then we will cross that bridge when we get there. Honestly, their county pushes reunification like no other county in PA. With that being said, I DO think that they'll go back, but will they stay is the true question???

fondreflections · Nov 17, 2008

Well, a lot has happened in the past 4 days...

Last Thursday, the boys were suppose to have a Mom visit. Well, I no sooner got them out the door for the waiting driver, and the phone rang. It was my caseworker telling me that their Mom was in a car accident the night before. She is okay but has a broken ankle. The kids had just left, and the driver didn't have a cell phone. The poor guy rang 1 hour up only to turn around. As far as Mom, the whole thing was stupid, to be honest. She had graduated parenting classes Wednesday night and decided to go to a bar...The rest is history...

Today I was informed that she is looking at jail time for DUI, in danger of losing her job, and in danger of losing her apartment. Needless to say, she has lost ALL visits with the boys for at least the next month, including Thanksgiving.

Now, this is where I could use some of your thoughts...These boys were really only suppose to be in foster care for 6 months. Well, Jake and I have been told that we will now have the boys for A LEAST 1 YEAR. In addition, they MIGHT go up for adoption AT SOME POINT. However, they are a placement from a county that REALLY drags their feet to terminate parental rights. The state ALWAYS has to step in. For example, some of the children from that county have been in foster care for 4 or 5 years BEFORE the county finally allows them to be adopted!!!

With that being said, my brains are running a mile a minute. I DON'T HAVE A PROBLEM HAVING THEM FOR YEARS; HOWEVER, I ALWAYS WANTED TO ADOPT. That is why Jake and I got into all this in the first place. My theory is to keep these little boys BUT MAYBE look into possibly having another child...

Jake and I are on the fence. He says that if my health can handle it, go for it. He said he always wanted a large family ( 5 children) but respected my CF to not. My FEV1 isn't great...57%. It was 64%, but I'm currently still trying to fight off the sickness that I managed to get during the first and second week that I got them. Things are REALLY GOOD now with them, thank God.

I'm not sure which way to turn, honestly. I won't give them up unless they go back to Mom. However, I don't want to have them for YEARS and then be returned to Mom. I would be left holding the bag and wasting precious years that I just don't have.

Having them and seeing the progress that they have made makes me so happy yet Mom call all the shots, down to their haircuts!!! I have been in contact with their school twice now to explain that I am waiting on Mom to sign consent, and that's it not me...

All of these things are weaning me from trying a fost/adopt, girl placement (0-1 years old). Heck, my friend waited 8 months for a fost/adopt placement. She had the baby 6 months, and he returned home. Now, she is waiting again...

I'm thinking maybe just a straight adoption placement YET I STILL yearn to have my OWN child. I WANT THE PREGNANCY EXPERIENCE. I WANT THE LEGAL RIGHTS. I DON'T WANT MORE LEGAL HEADACHES AND MORE DEPENDENCES UPON THE COUNTY OR STATE. I ALSO DON'T WANT TO ONLY EVER BE A FOSTER PARENT.

I don't know...I could really use some advice...I do think my FEV1 is too low to support three children YET I believe I deserve to be an adoptable parent not just a foster parent for years. For that reason, I am considering a third child. If they go home, then I at least have A CHILD. If they don't, then we will cross that bridge when we get there. Honestly, their county pushes reunification like no other county in PA. With that being said, I DO think that they'll go back, but will they stay is the true question???

fondreflections · Nov 17, 2008

Well, a lot has happened in the past 4 days...

Last Thursday, the boys were suppose to have a Mom visit. Well, I no sooner got them out the door for the waiting driver, and the phone rang. It was my caseworker telling me that their Mom was in a car accident the night before. She is okay but has a broken ankle. The kids had just left, and the driver didn't have a cell phone. The poor guy rang 1 hour up only to turn around. As far as Mom, the whole thing was stupid, to be honest. She had graduated parenting classes Wednesday night and decided to go to a bar...The rest is history...

Today I was informed that she is looking at jail time for DUI, in danger of losing her job, and in danger of losing her apartment. Needless to say, she has lost ALL visits with the boys for at least the next month, including Thanksgiving.

Now, this is where I could use some of your thoughts...These boys were really only suppose to be in foster care for 6 months. Well, Jake and I have been told that we will now have the boys for A LEAST 1 YEAR. In addition, they MIGHT go up for adoption AT SOME POINT. However, they are a placement from a county that REALLY drags their feet to terminate parental rights. The state ALWAYS has to step in. For example, some of the children from that county have been in foster care for 4 or 5 years BEFORE the county finally allows them to be adopted!!!

With that being said, my brains are running a mile a minute. I DON'T HAVE A PROBLEM HAVING THEM FOR YEARS; HOWEVER, I ALWAYS WANTED TO ADOPT. That is why Jake and I got into all this in the first place. My theory is to keep these little boys BUT MAYBE look into possibly having another child...

Jake and I are on the fence. He says that if my health can handle it, go for it. He said he always wanted a large family ( 5 children) but respected my CF to not. My FEV1 isn't great...57%. It was 64%, but I'm currently still trying to fight off the sickness that I managed to get during the first and second week that I got them. Things are REALLY GOOD now with them, thank God.

I'm not sure which way to turn, honestly. I won't give them up unless they go back to Mom. However, I don't want to have them for YEARS and then be returned to Mom. I would be left holding the bag and wasting precious years that I just don't have.

Having them and seeing the progress that they have made makes me so happy yet Mom call all the shots, down to their haircuts!!! I have been in contact with their school twice now to explain that I am waiting on Mom to sign consent, and that's it not me...

All of these things are weaning me from trying a fost/adopt, girl placement (0-1 years old). Heck, my friend waited 8 months for a fost/adopt placement. She had the baby 6 months, and he returned home. Now, she is waiting again...

I'm thinking maybe just a straight adoption placement YET I STILL yearn to have my OWN child. I WANT THE PREGNANCY EXPERIENCE. I WANT THE LEGAL RIGHTS. I DON'T WANT MORE LEGAL HEADACHES AND MORE DEPENDENCES UPON THE COUNTY OR STATE. I ALSO DON'T WANT TO ONLY EVER BE A FOSTER PARENT.

I don't know...I could really use some advice...I do think my FEV1 is too low to support three children YET I believe I deserve to be an adoptable parent not just a foster parent for years. For that reason, I am considering a third child. If they go home, then I at least have A CHILD. If they don't, then we will cross that bridge when we get there. Honestly, their county pushes reunification like no other county in PA. With that being said, I DO think that they'll go back, but will they stay is the true question???

fondreflections · Nov 17, 2008

Well, a lot has happened in the past 4 days...

Last Thursday, the boys were suppose to have a Mom visit. Well, I no sooner got them out the door for the waiting driver, and the phone rang. It was my caseworker telling me that their Mom was in a car accident the night before. She is okay but has a broken ankle. The kids had just left, and the driver didn't have a cell phone. The poor guy rang 1 hour up only to turn around. As far as Mom, the whole thing was stupid, to be honest. She had graduated parenting classes Wednesday night and decided to go to a bar...The rest is history...

Today I was informed that she is looking at jail time for DUI, in danger of losing her job, and in danger of losing her apartment. Needless to say, she has lost ALL visits with the boys for at least the next month, including Thanksgiving.

Now, this is where I could use some of your thoughts...These boys were really only suppose to be in foster care for 6 months. Well, Jake and I have been told that we will now have the boys for A LEAST 1 YEAR. In addition, they MIGHT go up for adoption AT SOME POINT. However, they are a placement from a county that REALLY drags their feet to terminate parental rights. The state ALWAYS has to step in. For example, some of the children from that county have been in foster care for 4 or 5 years BEFORE the county finally allows them to be adopted!!!

With that being said, my brains are running a mile a minute. I DON'T HAVE A PROBLEM HAVING THEM FOR YEARS; HOWEVER, I ALWAYS WANTED TO ADOPT. That is why Jake and I got into all this in the first place. My theory is to keep these little boys BUT MAYBE look into possibly having another child...

Jake and I are on the fence. He says that if my health can handle it, go for it. He said he always wanted a large family ( 5 children) but respected my CF to not. My FEV1 isn't great...57%. It was 64%, but I'm currently still trying to fight off the sickness that I managed to get during the first and second week that I got them. Things are REALLY GOOD now with them, thank God.

I'm not sure which way to turn, honestly. I won't give them up unless they go back to Mom. However, I don't want to have them for YEARS and then be returned to Mom. I would be left holding the bag and wasting precious years that I just don't have.

Having them and seeing the progress that they have made makes me so happy yet Mom call all the shots, down to their haircuts!!! I have been in contact with their school twice now to explain that I am waiting on Mom to sign consent, and that's it not me...

All of these things are weaning me from trying a fost/adopt, girl placement (0-1 years old). Heck, my friend waited 8 months for a fost/adopt placement. She had the baby 6 months, and he returned home. Now, she is waiting again...

I'm thinking maybe just a straight adoption placement YET I STILL yearn to have my OWN child. I WANT THE PREGNANCY EXPERIENCE. I WANT THE LEGAL RIGHTS. I DON'T WANT MORE LEGAL HEADACHES AND MORE DEPENDENCES UPON THE COUNTY OR STATE. I ALSO DON'T WANT TO ONLY EVER BE A FOSTER PARENT.

I don't know...I could really use some advice...I do think my FEV1 is too low to support three children YET I believe I deserve to be an adoptable parent not just a foster parent for years. For that reason, I am considering a third child. If they go home, then I at least have A CHILD. If they don't, then we will cross that bridge when we get there. Honestly, their county pushes reunification like no other county in PA. With that being said, I DO think that they'll go back, but will they stay is the true question???

fondreflections · Nov 17, 2008

Well, a lot has happened in the past 4 days...
 
 Last Thursday, the boys were suppose to have a Mom visit. Well, I no sooner got them out the door for the waiting driver, and the phone rang. It was my caseworker telling me that their Mom was in a car accident the night before. She is okay but has a broken ankle. The kids had just left, and the driver didn't have a cell phone. The poor guy rang 1 hour up only to turn around. As far as Mom, the whole thing was stupid, to be honest. She had graduated parenting classes Wednesday night and decided to go to a bar...The rest is history...
 
 Today I was informed that she is looking at jail time for DUI, in danger of losing her job, and in danger of losing her apartment. Needless to say, she has lost ALL visits with the boys for at least the next month, including Thanksgiving.
 
 Now, this is where I could use some of your thoughts...These boys were really only suppose to be in foster care for 6 months. Well, Jake and I have been told that we will now have the boys for A LEAST 1 YEAR. In addition, they MIGHT go up for adoption AT SOME POINT. However, they are a placement from a county that REALLY drags their feet to terminate parental rights. The state ALWAYS has to step in. For example, some of the children from that county have been in foster care for 4 or 5 years BEFORE the county finally allows them to be adopted!!!
 
 With that being said, my brains are running a mile a minute. I DON'T HAVE A PROBLEM HAVING THEM FOR YEARS; HOWEVER, I ALWAYS WANTED TO ADOPT. That is why Jake and I got into all this in the first place. My theory is to keep these little boys BUT MAYBE look into possibly having another child...
 
 Jake and I are on the fence. He says that if my health can handle it, go for it. He said he always wanted a large family ( 5 children) but respected my CF to not. My FEV1 isn't great...57%. It was 64%, but I'm currently still trying to fight off the sickness that I managed to get during the first and second week that I got them. Things are REALLY GOOD now with them, thank God.
 
 I'm not sure which way to turn, honestly. I won't give them up unless they go back to Mom. However, I don't want to have them for YEARS and then be returned to Mom. I would be left holding the bag and wasting precious years that I just don't have.
 
 Having them and seeing the progress that they have made makes me so happy yet Mom call all the shots, down to their haircuts!!! I have been in contact with their school twice now to explain that I am waiting on Mom to sign consent, and that's it not me...
 
 All of these things are weaning me from trying a fost/adopt, girl placement (0-1 years old). Heck, my friend waited 8 months for a fost/adopt placement. She had the baby 6 months, and he returned home. Now, she is waiting again...
 
 I'm thinking maybe just a straight adoption placement YET I STILL yearn to have my OWN child. I WANT THE PREGNANCY EXPERIENCE. I WANT THE LEGAL RIGHTS. I DON'T WANT MORE LEGAL HEADACHES AND MORE DEPENDENCES UPON THE COUNTY OR STATE. I ALSO DON'T WANT TO ONLY EVER BE A FOSTER PARENT.
 
 I don't know...I could really use some advice...I do think my FEV1 is too low to support three children YET I believe I deserve to be an adoptable parent not just a foster parent for years. For that reason, I am considering a third child. If they go home, then I at least have A CHILD. If they don't, then we will cross that bridge when we get there. Honestly, their county pushes reunification like no other county in PA. With that being said, I DO think that they'll go back, but will they stay is the true question???

Kristen · Nov 17, 2008

I am so sorry you are having to deal with all this <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-sad.gif" border="0"> I am pulling for you to have a child of you own. We have only been TTC for 6 months, and, lately, after both of my doctors telling me we would have trouble TTC, I have gotten so sad at the prospect of not being able to have children. It is heartbreaking.

With that said, I think the big question is what is best for these children and your future child, if you were to have one. It sounds like things are going much better now with the boys - that is great and I commend you & your husband for rescuing them. How do you think they would impact the newborn? Would you be able to give adequate care to all three children, considering your health and the special needs of the boys? It sounds like they are young enough that things can really be turned around for them, but I am definitely no expert on this stuff.

However, you said that you think your FEV1 is too low to support them - if that is really true, then my opinion is no <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-sad.gif" border="0"> But I have no idea if that is really true (as I have never taken care of even one child for more than a few hours, and I do not know what it is like to have your FEV.) Hopefully some of the mommies on here can give you some more clear advice.

Another hard question - is it possible for you to foster adopt one child (maybe not one of these boys so you don't have to separate them, but a different child) and then TTC?

Kristen · Nov 17, 2008

I am so sorry you are having to deal with all this <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-sad.gif" border="0"> I am pulling for you to have a child of you own. We have only been TTC for 6 months, and, lately, after both of my doctors telling me we would have trouble TTC, I have gotten so sad at the prospect of not being able to have children. It is heartbreaking.

With that said, I think the big question is what is best for these children and your future child, if you were to have one. It sounds like things are going much better now with the boys - that is great and I commend you & your husband for rescuing them. How do you think they would impact the newborn? Would you be able to give adequate care to all three children, considering your health and the special needs of the boys? It sounds like they are young enough that things can really be turned around for them, but I am definitely no expert on this stuff.

However, you said that you think your FEV1 is too low to support them - if that is really true, then my opinion is no <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-sad.gif" border="0"> But I have no idea if that is really true (as I have never taken care of even one child for more than a few hours, and I do not know what it is like to have your FEV.) Hopefully some of the mommies on here can give you some more clear advice.

Another hard question - is it possible for you to foster adopt one child (maybe not one of these boys so you don't have to separate them, but a different child) and then TTC?

Kristen · Nov 17, 2008

I am so sorry you are having to deal with all this <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-sad.gif" border="0"> I am pulling for you to have a child of you own. We have only been TTC for 6 months, and, lately, after both of my doctors telling me we would have trouble TTC, I have gotten so sad at the prospect of not being able to have children. It is heartbreaking.

With that said, I think the big question is what is best for these children and your future child, if you were to have one. It sounds like things are going much better now with the boys - that is great and I commend you & your husband for rescuing them. How do you think they would impact the newborn? Would you be able to give adequate care to all three children, considering your health and the special needs of the boys? It sounds like they are young enough that things can really be turned around for them, but I am definitely no expert on this stuff.

However, you said that you think your FEV1 is too low to support them - if that is really true, then my opinion is no <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-sad.gif" border="0"> But I have no idea if that is really true (as I have never taken care of even one child for more than a few hours, and I do not know what it is like to have your FEV.) Hopefully some of the mommies on here can give you some more clear advice.

Another hard question - is it possible for you to foster adopt one child (maybe not one of these boys so you don't have to separate them, but a different child) and then TTC?

Kristen · Nov 17, 2008

I am so sorry you are having to deal with all this <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-sad.gif" border="0"> I am pulling for you to have a child of you own. We have only been TTC for 6 months, and, lately, after both of my doctors telling me we would have trouble TTC, I have gotten so sad at the prospect of not being able to have children. It is heartbreaking.

With that said, I think the big question is what is best for these children and your future child, if you were to have one. It sounds like things are going much better now with the boys - that is great and I commend you & your husband for rescuing them. How do you think they would impact the newborn? Would you be able to give adequate care to all three children, considering your health and the special needs of the boys? It sounds like they are young enough that things can really be turned around for them, but I am definitely no expert on this stuff.

However, you said that you think your FEV1 is too low to support them - if that is really true, then my opinion is no <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-sad.gif" border="0"> But I have no idea if that is really true (as I have never taken care of even one child for more than a few hours, and I do not know what it is like to have your FEV.) Hopefully some of the mommies on here can give you some more clear advice.

Another hard question - is it possible for you to foster adopt one child (maybe not one of these boys so you don't have to separate them, but a different child) and then TTC?

Kristen · Nov 17, 2008

I am so sorry you are having to deal with all this <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-sad.gif" border="0"> I am pulling for you to have a child of you own. We have only been TTC for 6 months, and, lately, after both of my doctors telling me we would have trouble TTC, I have gotten so sad at the prospect of not being able to have children. It is heartbreaking.
 
 With that said, I think the big question is what is best for these children and your future child, if you were to have one. It sounds like things are going much better now with the boys - that is great and I commend you & your husband for rescuing them. How do you think they would impact the newborn? Would you be able to give adequate care to all three children, considering your health and the special needs of the boys? It sounds like they are young enough that things can really be turned around for them, but I am definitely no expert on this stuff.
 
 However, you said that you think your FEV1 is too low to support them - if that is really true, then my opinion is no <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-sad.gif" border="0"> But I have no idea if that is really true (as I have never taken care of even one child for more than a few hours, and I do not know what it is like to have your FEV.) Hopefully some of the mommies on here can give you some more clear advice.
 
 Another hard question - is it possible for you to foster adopt one child (maybe not one of these boys so you don't have to separate them, but a different child) and then TTC?

fondreflections · Nov 17, 2008

Hi Kristen,

I actually was reading your blog this morning and have been routing for you and your hubby for awhile.

We tried to conceive naturally for 3.5 years with no luck whatsoever. We also went to two infertility clinics and one high-risk OB/GYN. Ultimately, our ONLY diagnosis was my abnormal CM. I tried Mucinex/Robitussin for months and tried PreSeed for about 3 months. I just couldn't get pregnant. Ultimately, IUI was suggested and guessed to take if done; however, Jake wouldn't hear of it...One my own, I was given a 1% chance of conceiving each month...

That is how we got into the foster/adoption stuff. Initially, we wanted a fost/adopt placement between 2-4 years old. We then said about (1) foster placement and (1) straight foster care placement because we 'thought' it would be good to gain experience while waiting for 'the one'. We ended up getting (2) foster care placements that are from an impossible county...

Considering that both the boys will be starting school in December, I do think that 'for now' I could meet all their needs. I do it now, and my husband works some 12-hour days. The couselors are VERY IMPRESSED with how I interact with them considering the lack of experience and what I was kind of thrown into. Even they can't get over the progress that the boys have made in 6 weeks. I think I'm doing fine with the boys.

I do believe with all my heart that the placement was mismatched by OUR GOALS. WE WANT TO ADOPT. THERE IS LITTLE CHANCE HERE EVEN AFTER YEARS OF WAITING. However, we love these boys, and they love us. We are Mommy and Daddy. They say that they don't even want to go back...I don't want them to suffer anymore than they already have. They can't help the environment that they were born into. I can't give them up.

Yes, if we kept with the (1) fost/adopt placement, things would have been the easiest. However, agencies do work on you once your in and test your boundaries. I love these boys and pray things somehow work out...Someway...

fondreflections · Nov 17, 2008

Hi Kristen,

I actually was reading your blog this morning and have been routing for you and your hubby for awhile.

We tried to conceive naturally for 3.5 years with no luck whatsoever. We also went to two infertility clinics and one high-risk OB/GYN. Ultimately, our ONLY diagnosis was my abnormal CM. I tried Mucinex/Robitussin for months and tried PreSeed for about 3 months. I just couldn't get pregnant. Ultimately, IUI was suggested and guessed to take if done; however, Jake wouldn't hear of it...One my own, I was given a 1% chance of conceiving each month...

That is how we got into the foster/adoption stuff. Initially, we wanted a fost/adopt placement between 2-4 years old. We then said about (1) foster placement and (1) straight foster care placement because we 'thought' it would be good to gain experience while waiting for 'the one'. We ended up getting (2) foster care placements that are from an impossible county...

Considering that both the boys will be starting school in December, I do think that 'for now' I could meet all their needs. I do it now, and my husband works some 12-hour days. The couselors are VERY IMPRESSED with how I interact with them considering the lack of experience and what I was kind of thrown into. Even they can't get over the progress that the boys have made in 6 weeks. I think I'm doing fine with the boys.

I do believe with all my heart that the placement was mismatched by OUR GOALS. WE WANT TO ADOPT. THERE IS LITTLE CHANCE HERE EVEN AFTER YEARS OF WAITING. However, we love these boys, and they love us. We are Mommy and Daddy. They say that they don't even want to go back...I don't want them to suffer anymore than they already have. They can't help the environment that they were born into. I can't give them up.

Yes, if we kept with the (1) fost/adopt placement, things would have been the easiest. However, agencies do work on you once your in and test your boundaries. I love these boys and pray things somehow work out...Someway...

fondreflections · Nov 17, 2008

Hi Kristen,

I actually was reading your blog this morning and have been routing for you and your hubby for awhile.

We tried to conceive naturally for 3.5 years with no luck whatsoever. We also went to two infertility clinics and one high-risk OB/GYN. Ultimately, our ONLY diagnosis was my abnormal CM. I tried Mucinex/Robitussin for months and tried PreSeed for about 3 months. I just couldn't get pregnant. Ultimately, IUI was suggested and guessed to take if done; however, Jake wouldn't hear of it...One my own, I was given a 1% chance of conceiving each month...

That is how we got into the foster/adoption stuff. Initially, we wanted a fost/adopt placement between 2-4 years old. We then said about (1) foster placement and (1) straight foster care placement because we 'thought' it would be good to gain experience while waiting for 'the one'. We ended up getting (2) foster care placements that are from an impossible county...

Considering that both the boys will be starting school in December, I do think that 'for now' I could meet all their needs. I do it now, and my husband works some 12-hour days. The couselors are VERY IMPRESSED with how I interact with them considering the lack of experience and what I was kind of thrown into. Even they can't get over the progress that the boys have made in 6 weeks. I think I'm doing fine with the boys.

I do believe with all my heart that the placement was mismatched by OUR GOALS. WE WANT TO ADOPT. THERE IS LITTLE CHANCE HERE EVEN AFTER YEARS OF WAITING. However, we love these boys, and they love us. We are Mommy and Daddy. They say that they don't even want to go back...I don't want them to suffer anymore than they already have. They can't help the environment that they were born into. I can't give them up.

Yes, if we kept with the (1) fost/adopt placement, things would have been the easiest. However, agencies do work on you once your in and test your boundaries. I love these boys and pray things somehow work out...Someway...

fondreflections · Nov 17, 2008

Hi Kristen,

I actually was reading your blog this morning and have been routing for you and your hubby for awhile.

We tried to conceive naturally for 3.5 years with no luck whatsoever. We also went to two infertility clinics and one high-risk OB/GYN. Ultimately, our ONLY diagnosis was my abnormal CM. I tried Mucinex/Robitussin for months and tried PreSeed for about 3 months. I just couldn't get pregnant. Ultimately, IUI was suggested and guessed to take if done; however, Jake wouldn't hear of it...One my own, I was given a 1% chance of conceiving each month...

That is how we got into the foster/adoption stuff. Initially, we wanted a fost/adopt placement between 2-4 years old. We then said about (1) foster placement and (1) straight foster care placement because we 'thought' it would be good to gain experience while waiting for 'the one'. We ended up getting (2) foster care placements that are from an impossible county...

Considering that both the boys will be starting school in December, I do think that 'for now' I could meet all their needs. I do it now, and my husband works some 12-hour days. The couselors are VERY IMPRESSED with how I interact with them considering the lack of experience and what I was kind of thrown into. Even they can't get over the progress that the boys have made in 6 weeks. I think I'm doing fine with the boys.

I do believe with all my heart that the placement was mismatched by OUR GOALS. WE WANT TO ADOPT. THERE IS LITTLE CHANCE HERE EVEN AFTER YEARS OF WAITING. However, we love these boys, and they love us. We are Mommy and Daddy. They say that they don't even want to go back...I don't want them to suffer anymore than they already have. They can't help the environment that they were born into. I can't give them up.

Yes, if we kept with the (1) fost/adopt placement, things would have been the easiest. However, agencies do work on you once your in and test your boundaries. I love these boys and pray things somehow work out...Someway...

fondreflections · Nov 17, 2008

Hi Kristen,
 
 I actually was reading your blog this morning and have been routing for you and your hubby for awhile.
 
 We tried to conceive naturally for 3.5 years with no luck whatsoever. We also went to two infertility clinics and one high-risk OB/GYN. Ultimately, our ONLY diagnosis was my abnormal CM. I tried Mucinex/Robitussin for months and tried PreSeed for about 3 months. I just couldn't get pregnant. Ultimately, IUI was suggested and guessed to take if done; however, Jake wouldn't hear of it...One my own, I was given a 1% chance of conceiving each month...
 
 That is how we got into the foster/adoption stuff. Initially, we wanted a fost/adopt placement between 2-4 years old. We then said about (1) foster placement and (1) straight foster care placement because we 'thought' it would be good to gain experience while waiting for 'the one'. We ended up getting (2) foster care placements that are from an impossible county...
 
 Considering that both the boys will be starting school in December, I do think that 'for now' I could meet all their needs. I do it now, and my husband works some 12-hour days. The couselors are VERY IMPRESSED with how I interact with them considering the lack of experience and what I was kind of thrown into. Even they can't get over the progress that the boys have made in 6 weeks. I think I'm doing fine with the boys.
 
 I do believe with all my heart that the placement was mismatched by OUR GOALS. WE WANT TO ADOPT. THERE IS LITTLE CHANCE HERE EVEN AFTER YEARS OF WAITING. However, we love these boys, and they love us. We are Mommy and Daddy. They say that they don't even want to go back...I don't want them to suffer anymore than they already have. They can't help the environment that they were born into. I can't give them up.
 
 Yes, if we kept with the (1) fost/adopt placement, things would have been the easiest. However, agencies do work on you once your in and test your boundaries. I love these boys and pray things somehow work out...Someway...

hopesiris · Nov 17, 2008

Can you just delay making a decision until you get your FEV1 back to where it was? I know you can hear the clock ticking but maybe just take extra good care of yourself until the new year and see how you are doing? Just think of it this way, if you just had a baby you'd be working on improving your FEV1 anyway right now. I think we can agree you've gone through some "labor"!

hopesiris · Nov 17, 2008

Can you just delay making a decision until you get your FEV1 back to where it was? I know you can hear the clock ticking but maybe just take extra good care of yourself until the new year and see how you are doing? Just think of it this way, if you just had a baby you'd be working on improving your FEV1 anyway right now. I think we can agree you've gone through some "labor"!

hopesiris · Nov 17, 2008

Can you just delay making a decision until you get your FEV1 back to where it was? I know you can hear the clock ticking but maybe just take extra good care of yourself until the new year and see how you are doing? Just think of it this way, if you just had a baby you'd be working on improving your FEV1 anyway right now. I think we can agree you've gone through some "labor"!

hopesiris · Nov 17, 2008

Can you just delay making a decision until you get your FEV1 back to where it was? I know you can hear the clock ticking but maybe just take extra good care of yourself until the new year and see how you are doing? Just think of it this way, if you just had a baby you'd be working on improving your FEV1 anyway right now. I think we can agree you've gone through some "labor"!

hopesiris · Nov 17, 2008

Can you just delay making a decision until you get your FEV1 back to where it was? I know you can hear the clock ticking but maybe just take extra good care of yourself until the new year and see how you are doing? Just think of it this way, if you just had a baby you'd be working on improving your FEV1 anyway right now. I think we can agree you've gone through some "labor"!

What would you do?

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