Well i'm a 20y/o m with CF and i've always wondered when is the best time to tell someone you meet and might be romanticly intrested in about the CF. Me personally i've had bd experinces with both. But i just want some other input cause now because of CF i have a very low self estem as i think alot of us might. I canot aproach women at all. I dont know why i think it might be the fear of having to tell them and getting rejected simply because of something i can do really nothing about. anyone that reads this cf or not please responed even if just to tell me to have some guts and talk to a girl/women.<being only 20 i never know what word to use
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When do you tell....
- Thread starter anonymous
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Thomastheinked
New member
Truley by me just decided to join
Emily65Roses
New member
Hey. I have always told guys almost immediately. And I have a lot to say on this subject (though none of it is to chastise you, or make fun). If you'd like, I'd love to talk to you on AIM. My username is the same as this one. Emily65Roses. I'm always on during the day, and up until 11 or 12 Sunday-Wednesday nights. Weekends, I'm usually up much later. Either way, IM me sometime and we can talk about anything at all, whether it be CF-related or not. Hope to hear from you! <img src="i/expressions/rose.gif" border="0">
JohnnaMarie
New member
I wanted to say that I always told people as soon as I realised that the person was starting to like me alot. That way they like you already but yet they are not in so deep that if they decide they do not have the guts to handle it they can get out before you both get burned.
What I have found is girls dont care about looks. You must have confidence. I am 110 lbs and 5'7". In my opinion I am not that good looking, but when I approach a girl I do it in confidence which works out well for me. You must have confidence and girls will se it when you do. I cant stress how important confidence is. As far as when to tell about the cf, that is should never be brought up to soon, but dont let the other person get to close. If you feel the relationship could work out long term then you should tell her. im in your shoes right now 20yrs old and Im living it up. Date around, have fun, and never let cf damage your confidence.
I have to agree with "Perky" about the confidence issue. Im the one with the cf but if i can tell quickly if a guy who is interested in me lacks confidence. I tend to go for the guys who can walk tall even when they arent. I never tell anyone right off the bat about my cf whether i am looking to get involved with them or not. I usually only tell if i know this person is goin to be a part of my life , or more than just a casual aquaintance. When i meet a guy i like , i dont mention it right away, i try to "work it in " somewere down the line in conversation. Always worked for me.<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0"> good luck and hold your head high !!!! <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif" border="0">
vickysmommy
New member
I say, tell the girl right away about your CF. Ive always told the guy I have it and since they didnt really know what it was, they didnt care, besides they liked me for my personality. If you tell the girl you have CF and it scares her then she's not worth the trouble in the first place. I hope this helps
I tend to tell them on the 1st or 2nd date, not always though. Just when it comes up. If you start coughting and they ask if you are alright, give it to them. "Well the average life span for sombody with cf is 32- or 33......" inform them. Dont be shy about it. Dont paint a dark picture, work into what is has taught you..
Colin
Colin
<blockquote>Quote<br><hr><i>Originally posted by: <b>JohnnaMarie</b></i><br>I wanted to say that I always told people as soon as I realised that the person was starting to like me alot. That way they like you already but yet they are not in so deep that if they decide they do not have the guts to handle it they can get out before you both get burned.<hr></blockquote>
That's the way to go. I told the love of my life (who I met online) when I had to be hospitalized, and knew I wouldn't get a chance to IM her for a few days. I had pretty much always changed the subject or bent the truth when other friends asked, but I knew I'd want to be honest with her.
That's the way to go. I told the love of my life (who I met online) when I had to be hospitalized, and knew I wouldn't get a chance to IM her for a few days. I had pretty much always changed the subject or bent the truth when other friends asked, but I knew I'd want to be honest with her.
It's hard to determine when it's a good time to tell. All of my former boyfriends knew I have CF before we started dating. My latest man was a close friend of mine for eight years before we starting dating. So he knew what I had, he knows what to expect. As of now he is the best person I have dated.
well i first meet my bf at a party and how he introducd me was by pulling up his t-shirt and pulling his feeding tube in and out pretending he was woody from toy story. yes he was slightly drunk and trying to come on to me all at the same time and funnily it didn't put me off, but thats how i first found out he had a medical condition then a few days later he told me what it was. lol that was 5 years ago and we're together 2 and ahalf.
I usually casually mention it when i first meet them if we really hit it off or the first date or two. I like to be upfront about. I dont make a big deal of it but i figure if they cant deal with it or the act funny about it in the beginning than the relationship isnt worth persuing and no one gets hurt that way. The longer you wait the more hurt they will be if they really like you and keep it from them. You dont have to give them every last detail but casually mention it and see what the reaction is. If they ask questions answer them and slowely introduce them to it. I find this works best. Good luck and dont worry i have low self esteem too but you cannot let it get the better of you because that will probably drive girls off first. Itleast in my womanly opinion! You have to be comfortable with yourself before you can be comfortable with someone else.
Kristy
23/pre transplant lung and liver, currently engaged.
Kristy
23/pre transplant lung and liver, currently engaged.
AimeeSue82
New member
I always tell a guy right away just in case he's gonna freak out. I don't want to get attached to someone then have them split when I tell them about my cf. That's just been my expirience.
Aimee
Aimee