When/How do you tell someone

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eloquent1

New member
So, dating has always been kind of tough for me. I am 25 years old and have had a few (3) serious girlfriends. By serious I mean 1+ years of being together.

I was ready to marry the first one - whom I dating from senior year of high school until just before my last semester of college. When we broke up, I found out she was not ok with my CF and this has probably turned me sour. It really broke me at the time.

After her, I dated someone who was great about my CF... She always wanted to know more, never prodded too much - even asked (just once) to come to my routine visits because she genuinely cared. Needless to say, this relationship didnt work out for other reasons.

My last relationship, although she was "ok" with my CF I dont really think she grasped the issue completely ... She was younger than I by age and maturity.

I am (thankfully) very healthy. Have only had one tune-up ever and it was not necessary...It didn't help. I have routine visits 4 times a year. That's it, other than daily treatments I live very normally but I am very aware (and ok with) what will come in the future.

SO now I find myself in a very odd place - I don't know when or how to tell a girl I am seeing, or want to start seeing seriously about my CF.

On one hand I always think abou saying something in the early stages, getting it out of the way. On the other, I want to see if things even progress to a stage where my CF becomes an issue. On top of all that, I never know how to bring it up, what to say, etc....
 
E

eloquent1

New member
So, dating has always been kind of tough for me. I am 25 years old and have had a few (3) serious girlfriends. By serious I mean 1+ years of being together.

I was ready to marry the first one - whom I dating from senior year of high school until just before my last semester of college. When we broke up, I found out she was not ok with my CF and this has probably turned me sour. It really broke me at the time.

After her, I dated someone who was great about my CF... She always wanted to know more, never prodded too much - even asked (just once) to come to my routine visits because she genuinely cared. Needless to say, this relationship didnt work out for other reasons.

My last relationship, although she was "ok" with my CF I dont really think she grasped the issue completely ... She was younger than I by age and maturity.

I am (thankfully) very healthy. Have only had one tune-up ever and it was not necessary...It didn't help. I have routine visits 4 times a year. That's it, other than daily treatments I live very normally but I am very aware (and ok with) what will come in the future.

SO now I find myself in a very odd place - I don't know when or how to tell a girl I am seeing, or want to start seeing seriously about my CF.

On one hand I always think abou saying something in the early stages, getting it out of the way. On the other, I want to see if things even progress to a stage where my CF becomes an issue. On top of all that, I never know how to bring it up, what to say, etc....
 
E

eloquent1

New member
So, dating has always been kind of tough for me. I am 25 years old and have had a few (3) serious girlfriends. By serious I mean 1+ years of being together.
<br />
<br />I was ready to marry the first one - whom I dating from senior year of high school until just before my last semester of college. When we broke up, I found out she was not ok with my CF and this has probably turned me sour. It really broke me at the time.
<br />
<br />After her, I dated someone who was great about my CF... She always wanted to know more, never prodded too much - even asked (just once) to come to my routine visits because she genuinely cared. Needless to say, this relationship didnt work out for other reasons.
<br />
<br />My last relationship, although she was "ok" with my CF I dont really think she grasped the issue completely ... She was younger than I by age and maturity.
<br />
<br />I am (thankfully) very healthy. Have only had one tune-up ever and it was not necessary...It didn't help. I have routine visits 4 times a year. That's it, other than daily treatments I live very normally but I am very aware (and ok with) what will come in the future.
<br />
<br />SO now I find myself in a very odd place - I don't know when or how to tell a girl I am seeing, or want to start seeing seriously about my CF.
<br />
<br />On one hand I always think abou saying something in the early stages, getting it out of the way. On the other, I want to see if things even progress to a stage where my CF becomes an issue. On top of all that, I never know how to bring it up, what to say, etc....
 
M

mag6125

New member
I know exactly how you feel about this issue. My first serious bf I had started dating in high school and although the same age he was a lot less mature than I was. I think I waited a couple of weeks to tell him and if I remember correctly it came up because he kept asking about my coughing all the time. He seemed cool with it but I don't think he fully understood. He actually told me his mom wanted us to break up because she'd be very upset if we couldn't have kids. Needless to say that relationship didn't go very well.

After that I met an amazing guy and I think again I waited a few weeks to see how things were going before I told him. He was great with it, after I talked to him he went out and talked to my mom about it for a while. He was always making sure I did my treatments and when I was on ivs he went to my weekly appointments or came and visited me in the hospital. Even though we're not dating anymore I'm lucky enough to still have him as a best friend and he still asks how my appointments go and visit me in the hospital. His family got really involved and do the Great Strides walk with us every year.

Recently I started dating someone and I was wondering when I should tell him, but once again my coughing brought up the issue. It just so happens that he's working on a nursing degree and actually understands about it.

So I guess in answer to your question I would usually wait a few weeks or so and see how the relationship is progressing. I try to get a feel for whether or not they can handle hearing about it. You're lucky to be so healthy and I hope you find someone who understands and can be there for you when you need them!
 
M

mag6125

New member
I know exactly how you feel about this issue. My first serious bf I had started dating in high school and although the same age he was a lot less mature than I was. I think I waited a couple of weeks to tell him and if I remember correctly it came up because he kept asking about my coughing all the time. He seemed cool with it but I don't think he fully understood. He actually told me his mom wanted us to break up because she'd be very upset if we couldn't have kids. Needless to say that relationship didn't go very well.

After that I met an amazing guy and I think again I waited a few weeks to see how things were going before I told him. He was great with it, after I talked to him he went out and talked to my mom about it for a while. He was always making sure I did my treatments and when I was on ivs he went to my weekly appointments or came and visited me in the hospital. Even though we're not dating anymore I'm lucky enough to still have him as a best friend and he still asks how my appointments go and visit me in the hospital. His family got really involved and do the Great Strides walk with us every year.

Recently I started dating someone and I was wondering when I should tell him, but once again my coughing brought up the issue. It just so happens that he's working on a nursing degree and actually understands about it.

So I guess in answer to your question I would usually wait a few weeks or so and see how the relationship is progressing. I try to get a feel for whether or not they can handle hearing about it. You're lucky to be so healthy and I hope you find someone who understands and can be there for you when you need them!
 
M

mag6125

New member
I know exactly how you feel about this issue. My first serious bf I had started dating in high school and although the same age he was a lot less mature than I was. I think I waited a couple of weeks to tell him and if I remember correctly it came up because he kept asking about my coughing all the time. He seemed cool with it but I don't think he fully understood. He actually told me his mom wanted us to break up because she'd be very upset if we couldn't have kids. Needless to say that relationship didn't go very well.
<br />
<br />After that I met an amazing guy and I think again I waited a few weeks to see how things were going before I told him. He was great with it, after I talked to him he went out and talked to my mom about it for a while. He was always making sure I did my treatments and when I was on ivs he went to my weekly appointments or came and visited me in the hospital. Even though we're not dating anymore I'm lucky enough to still have him as a best friend and he still asks how my appointments go and visit me in the hospital. His family got really involved and do the Great Strides walk with us every year.
<br />
<br />Recently I started dating someone and I was wondering when I should tell him, but once again my coughing brought up the issue. It just so happens that he's working on a nursing degree and actually understands about it.
<br />
<br />So I guess in answer to your question I would usually wait a few weeks or so and see how the relationship is progressing. I try to get a feel for whether or not they can handle hearing about it. You're lucky to be so healthy and I hope you find someone who understands and can be there for you when you need them!
 
C

colinmaydahl

New member
I would wait till the 2nd or 3rd date. Wait to feel out how much chemistry is between You to. Be honest, but don't make a big deal about it. If they are a good person they will see past it. Family's can be hard, once they meet You there reservations tend to fall away. Just be Yourself, CF is a part of who we are but not the only part.

Colin
 
C

colinmaydahl

New member
I would wait till the 2nd or 3rd date. Wait to feel out how much chemistry is between You to. Be honest, but don't make a big deal about it. If they are a good person they will see past it. Family's can be hard, once they meet You there reservations tend to fall away. Just be Yourself, CF is a part of who we are but not the only part.

Colin
 
C

colinmaydahl

New member
I would wait till the 2nd or 3rd date. Wait to feel out how much chemistry is between You to. Be honest, but don't make a big deal about it. If they are a good person they will see past it. Family's can be hard, once they meet You there reservations tend to fall away. Just be Yourself, CF is a part of who we are but not the only part.
<br />
<br />Colin
 
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