Yet another pet peeve

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julie

New member
Ok, a few days... actually weeks of being pretty cooped up on the couch and I'm ready to go nuts. I'm finding every little thing wrong with everything. I'm hormonal and have kept it under wraps pretty well thusfar but I feel like I'm about to loose it. It's driving Mark crazy (poor guy, feel for him you guys!!!!) so I guess I'll vent here instead of to him. Give him a little break.

Does anyone else notice how there have been a lot of posts lately where someone asks a question but then NEVER comes back to thank people for their responses, to ask further questions, to clairify something about their post that caused some negative replies (not justify, but clairify, there's a lot to be desired when reading a post instead of being able to communicate "live" with someone. Things get easily misunderstood).

I've noticed it periodically since I started posting here. I myself ALWAYS come back to my posts to thank people for looking, posting, giving advice... you name it. Even if I don't agree. I've also had to clairify things that I didn't make very clear. But I always make sure I thank people for taking the time to bother posting somtething. A majority of others on this forum seem to have the same manners, but on occasion I see where the inital poster NEVER comes back and it irritates the hell out of me. I've been noticing in more lately. Probably just because I have more time on my hands.

Anyone else see this and occasionally feel slightly offended by it? If we are all going to take our time to respond, at least let us know you are reading our responses. Even if you don't agree with them.......
 
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EnergyGal

New member
Thanking others whether you agree or not agree is always nice. I wish there were more interaction on the blogs. I think that is a place to post thank you's when others write in.

As far as what you are describing about posting, that is how you get to know others, by their responses to you. The people who will interact are the ones who you become closer to whether they agree or not agree. For the ones who keep at a distance, their responses will show less.

hope you feel better
Risa
 
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Lilith

New member
I second that, Julie.  Its quite irritating to me, too,
especially when you have a question about the initial post and no
one comes back to clarify...I hate that!
 
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julie

New member
YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You took the words out of my mouth. When you state your response but then you also have to ask something like, "did you mean x" or some sort of question related to the post. Makes me want to go back and delete all my posts to that person. Like if they can't have the decency to come back and view and RESPOND to the posts then I don't have the time nor do I care to answer their question.

Ok, so I'm not nuts. Maybe a bit overly hormonal (or a LOT), but not nuts <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">
 
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EnergyGal

New member
Julie

Just like in real time some people do not listen well and this can be a problem for some. I do not think that people do this on purpose. Some people have poor listening skills and it is a skill that needs to be learned. I just say give them a lesson in writing in a nice way. The more that we change our writing skills to accomodate and to teach, the more that others will adapt and learn. Effective listening in person can be easily expressed in writing as well.
 
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CFHockeyMom

New member
OMG, Julie! You read my mind. It is so frustrating to never hear back from the original poster. Even if it's just a "thanks", it's nice to know that your response was at least "heard".

Thinking of a an example here... the recent post about an anon losing their job. There was a lot of good advice and some questions. A follow up with some answers to the questions would be nice along with a follow-up as to what course of action anon is planning on taking.

There have been others. There was one from MackyD that said, "Legal help Desperately needed". The guy never followed up with us to let us know what happened.

I hate loose ends!
 
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EnergyGal

New member
I strongly believe in this possibility- There are many nursing students and college students doing reports on CF. If they wrote in stating, "I am a student doing a report" many would not respond on this site. I believe that some of these people think that life owes them something so they do not even think about thanking us for help. They might ask a question by turning it around so they would receive more feedback from us playing on the empathy card.

When my email was up on this site for a few years before the blogs were born, I would receive many emails from students for help. It just seems very suspicious to me that these people only visit one time and they never come back.

I am sure there are many other reasons that we will never know about. There is nothing that we can do as a group to encourage others to write more respectfully.

That is life I say. We can definitely agree on this that there are people who need to learn writing manners.

Getting to know others through their writing is interesting. There are always going to be people who rub you the wrong way. Just ignore the posters who you do not respect.
 
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ejwiegert

New member
Manners...I wish some people had them. :) I get exactly what you are saying Julie!! It isn't just on this forum, it is everywhere. My students last year were terrible at not thanking me for doing nice things for them (on an individual basis, not as a class...I never expected the class to say thank you...they're teenagers for crying out loud!)...

I get in trouble for OVER THANKING people because it sometimes comes off as insincere.

I guess some of us understand how important it is to say a kind word like THANK YOU and to fill people in on the details of what happened...to give updates. Hopefully, these manic post and run posters will understand that you all (and me when I have time) invest volunteer time to help them out and that we become invested in who we "chat" with on the forum.

On a personal note, Julie...I hope you are resting as well as you possibly can! I've been thinking about you!!!

Em
 
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anonymous

New member
Don't we have better things to do than spend our time complaining how others post and respond to questions?


If you are answering questions to be thanked you are doing it for the wrong reason. Be the person you want to be and stop fretting how others are supposed to behave. Guaranteed we could find fault with each and everyone of us.
 
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julie

New member
Yes, I have to agree, it's all about manners. When someone tells you that they heard the feedback (not even necessairly a thank you, but that they heard it) it makes you want to come back and help out more. I mean, that's what we all do here, we help eachother.

And Claudette, you and I think so much alike sometimes <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">. It was the one about the job that really ticked me off and why I posted this. I think about 4-5 of us asked for MORE specific info so we could help the person out. That kind of stuff is what I thrive at (for some strange reason) and I'd love nothing more than to help them out. But they NEVER came back. Days and days and days.... in my opinion that is SO rude!

Risa, I too get a lot of emails from nursing students, particularly ones interested in the whole reproductive issue. Much to my surprise, ALL of them have returned my email (where I answered question upon question for some of them, helped them find resources and references...) thanking me and my favorite part.... giving an update on how their project went.
On the other hand, I get about 10 emails a day from wives/partners of men with CF who have found our website and have anywhere from 2-20 questions. I always answer all of them, and promptly. And many times my answers also involve questions for them so I can help them better. Most of the time, I never hear back from them. It's sad, I feel I didn't give them all the information I could, because I was lacking information from the. And it's also a bit frustrating to spend so much time helping someone out and hear nothing from them. It doesn't even have to be a thank you, answering the questions I ask them so I can better help them would be great too!

I don't do things to be thanked anonymous, but when you spend a lot of your time helping others, as many do throughout their lifetime, it's nice to hear that what you did helped them, made a difference...
This is the OT section and available for a healthy vent. Sorry you don't like it. There's a simple solution though...

Chipped, you probably also only have 170ish posts because you joined after me, for starters and because in the last few months I've spent a lot of time on this site as I've been confined to the house and now pretty much to the couch. Additionally, I did a lot of projects for this site about CF awareness, tax deduction information, social security cases, simply because Mark and I have "been there done that" and if I can save anyone else from going through the freaking struggles we went through, then ALL of my posts are more than worth it.
 
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welshgirl

New member
to the anon at 6.37 , i don't value the opinion of anyone who won't put a name to their posts<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">
 
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anonymous

New member
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>welshgirl</b></i>

to the anon at 6.37 , i don't value the opinion of anyone who won't put a name to their posts<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0"></end quote></div>

Me too!!!!
 
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65rosessamurai

Guest
I usually like to wait at least 12 to 24 hours before viewing any responses to my posts, then I often will make a comment.

The reason for waiting so long is because of the time zone.

I don't mind anonymous posts, as long as they leave a signature, and positive criticism at the least.

If all they do is stir up trouble, I usually make one comment to acknowledge their rudeness, then move on.
 
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