You know who your real friends are...

BabyBeauty · Jun 3, 2008

I have always thought I had a good group of best friends. I am starting to question that now.

My daughter was diagnosed with CF 3 months ago. At first my friends were supportive and were there for me. Now they don't ask about how I am doing, how Avery is doing, or even check her website. I am not saying every conversation I have with them needs to be about me. But it seems as though I call them to check in on their lives, but they never return the favor. Sometimes with CF it is overwhelming with the stress of drs, meds, Avery's future, bills, marraige. It would be nice if they would just call to check in on me.

I really don't want to sound like I am having a pity party. But I was just frustrated with a conversation I had with my best friend last night. Her little sister is moving to the state I live. I am going to take her sister out apartment hunting tomorrow. We got to talking and it was very evident she has no clue what I am going through and what Avery is going through. I always make it a point to call and ask her about her life. I was just blown away on how out of touch she is with me.

So enough of the venting. My questions to everyone are:

Have you lost friends after your child's diagnosis due to their lack of support?

Where have you found the most support after your child's diagnosis? (ie friends, family, support groups, online)

Have you been surprised by anyone's support? (ie random friends calling and best friends not)

BabyBeauty · Jun 3, 2008

I have always thought I had a good group of best friends. I am starting to question that now.

My daughter was diagnosed with CF 3 months ago. At first my friends were supportive and were there for me. Now they don't ask about how I am doing, how Avery is doing, or even check her website. I am not saying every conversation I have with them needs to be about me. But it seems as though I call them to check in on their lives, but they never return the favor. Sometimes with CF it is overwhelming with the stress of drs, meds, Avery's future, bills, marraige. It would be nice if they would just call to check in on me.

I really don't want to sound like I am having a pity party. But I was just frustrated with a conversation I had with my best friend last night. Her little sister is moving to the state I live. I am going to take her sister out apartment hunting tomorrow. We got to talking and it was very evident she has no clue what I am going through and what Avery is going through. I always make it a point to call and ask her about her life. I was just blown away on how out of touch she is with me.

So enough of the venting. My questions to everyone are:

Have you lost friends after your child's diagnosis due to their lack of support?

Where have you found the most support after your child's diagnosis? (ie friends, family, support groups, online)

Have you been surprised by anyone's support? (ie random friends calling and best friends not)

BabyBeauty · Jun 3, 2008

I have always thought I had a good group of best friends. I am starting to question that now.

My daughter was diagnosed with CF 3 months ago. At first my friends were supportive and were there for me. Now they don't ask about how I am doing, how Avery is doing, or even check her website. I am not saying every conversation I have with them needs to be about me. But it seems as though I call them to check in on their lives, but they never return the favor. Sometimes with CF it is overwhelming with the stress of drs, meds, Avery's future, bills, marraige. It would be nice if they would just call to check in on me.

I really don't want to sound like I am having a pity party. But I was just frustrated with a conversation I had with my best friend last night. Her little sister is moving to the state I live. I am going to take her sister out apartment hunting tomorrow. We got to talking and it was very evident she has no clue what I am going through and what Avery is going through. I always make it a point to call and ask her about her life. I was just blown away on how out of touch she is with me.

So enough of the venting. My questions to everyone are:

Have you lost friends after your child's diagnosis due to their lack of support?

Where have you found the most support after your child's diagnosis? (ie friends, family, support groups, online)

Have you been surprised by anyone's support? (ie random friends calling and best friends not)

BabyBeauty · Jun 3, 2008

I have always thought I had a good group of best friends. I am starting to question that now.

My daughter was diagnosed with CF 3 months ago. At first my friends were supportive and were there for me. Now they don't ask about how I am doing, how Avery is doing, or even check her website. I am not saying every conversation I have with them needs to be about me. But it seems as though I call them to check in on their lives, but they never return the favor. Sometimes with CF it is overwhelming with the stress of drs, meds, Avery's future, bills, marraige. It would be nice if they would just call to check in on me.

I really don't want to sound like I am having a pity party. But I was just frustrated with a conversation I had with my best friend last night. Her little sister is moving to the state I live. I am going to take her sister out apartment hunting tomorrow. We got to talking and it was very evident she has no clue what I am going through and what Avery is going through. I always make it a point to call and ask her about her life. I was just blown away on how out of touch she is with me.

So enough of the venting. My questions to everyone are:

Have you lost friends after your child's diagnosis due to their lack of support?

Where have you found the most support after your child's diagnosis? (ie friends, family, support groups, online)

Have you been surprised by anyone's support? (ie random friends calling and best friends not)

BabyBeauty · Jun 3, 2008

I have always thought I had a good group of best friends. I am starting to question that now.
 
 My daughter was diagnosed with CF 3 months ago. At first my friends were supportive and were there for me. Now they don't ask about how I am doing, how Avery is doing, or even check her website. I am not saying every conversation I have with them needs to be about me. But it seems as though I call them to check in on their lives, but they never return the favor. Sometimes with CF it is overwhelming with the stress of drs, meds, Avery's future, bills, marraige. It would be nice if they would just call to check in on me.
 
 I really don't want to sound like I am having a pity party. But I was just frustrated with a conversation I had with my best friend last night. Her little sister is moving to the state I live. I am going to take her sister out apartment hunting tomorrow. We got to talking and it was very evident she has no clue what I am going through and what Avery is going through. I always make it a point to call and ask her about her life. I was just blown away on how out of touch she is with me.
 
 So enough of the venting. My questions to everyone are:
 
 Have you lost friends after your child's diagnosis due to their lack of support?
 
 Where have you found the most support after your child's diagnosis? (ie friends, family, support groups, online)
 
 Have you been surprised by anyone's support? (ie random friends calling and best friends not)

Ratatosk · Jun 3, 2008

Venting is good for the soul! We've got a good group of friends and relatives -- cousins & aunts on my husbands side of the family, who are supportive.

Some of my coworkers suprised me by being rather nasty -- keeping an extra close eye on my comings and goings, snotty comments about how our insurance rates keep going up. I just ignore them and support them as much as they do me for their causes which is a big fat ZERO!

My own sister, whose always been very self absorbed... Has never met my 5-year old, doesn't call, is too busy to respond to emails. Apparently I don't undestand what it's like -- she has three children and works part time.

I do feel as if I'm a bit more sensitive at times -- maybe read more into things. People just get busy with their lives and they just don't think. I sometimes do the same thing -- difference being that I'm much more aware of it and try to be a better listener, try to be more empathetic.

Ratatosk · Jun 3, 2008

Venting is good for the soul! We've got a good group of friends and relatives -- cousins & aunts on my husbands side of the family, who are supportive.

Some of my coworkers suprised me by being rather nasty -- keeping an extra close eye on my comings and goings, snotty comments about how our insurance rates keep going up. I just ignore them and support them as much as they do me for their causes which is a big fat ZERO!

My own sister, whose always been very self absorbed... Has never met my 5-year old, doesn't call, is too busy to respond to emails. Apparently I don't undestand what it's like -- she has three children and works part time.

I do feel as if I'm a bit more sensitive at times -- maybe read more into things. People just get busy with their lives and they just don't think. I sometimes do the same thing -- difference being that I'm much more aware of it and try to be a better listener, try to be more empathetic.

Ratatosk · Jun 3, 2008

Venting is good for the soul! We've got a good group of friends and relatives -- cousins & aunts on my husbands side of the family, who are supportive.

Some of my coworkers suprised me by being rather nasty -- keeping an extra close eye on my comings and goings, snotty comments about how our insurance rates keep going up. I just ignore them and support them as much as they do me for their causes which is a big fat ZERO!

My own sister, whose always been very self absorbed... Has never met my 5-year old, doesn't call, is too busy to respond to emails. Apparently I don't undestand what it's like -- she has three children and works part time.

I do feel as if I'm a bit more sensitive at times -- maybe read more into things. People just get busy with their lives and they just don't think. I sometimes do the same thing -- difference being that I'm much more aware of it and try to be a better listener, try to be more empathetic.

Ratatosk · Jun 3, 2008

Venting is good for the soul! We've got a good group of friends and relatives -- cousins & aunts on my husbands side of the family, who are supportive.

Some of my coworkers suprised me by being rather nasty -- keeping an extra close eye on my comings and goings, snotty comments about how our insurance rates keep going up. I just ignore them and support them as much as they do me for their causes which is a big fat ZERO!

My own sister, whose always been very self absorbed... Has never met my 5-year old, doesn't call, is too busy to respond to emails. Apparently I don't undestand what it's like -- she has three children and works part time.

I do feel as if I'm a bit more sensitive at times -- maybe read more into things. People just get busy with their lives and they just don't think. I sometimes do the same thing -- difference being that I'm much more aware of it and try to be a better listener, try to be more empathetic.

Ratatosk · Jun 3, 2008

Venting is good for the soul! We've got a good group of friends and relatives -- cousins & aunts on my husbands side of the family, who are supportive.
 
 Some of my coworkers suprised me by being rather nasty -- keeping an extra close eye on my comings and goings, snotty comments about how our insurance rates keep going up. I just ignore them and support them as much as they do me for their causes which is a big fat ZERO!
 
 My own sister, whose always been very self absorbed... Has never met my 5-year old, doesn't call, is too busy to respond to emails. Apparently I don't undestand what it's like -- she has three children and works part time.
 
 I do feel as if I'm a bit more sensitive at times -- maybe read more into things. People just get busy with their lives and they just don't think. I sometimes do the same thing -- difference being that I'm much more aware of it and try to be a better listener, try to be more empathetic.

katyf13 · Jun 3, 2008

I think anytime you go through a very difficult time, it does show you who your friends are. Some will step up to the plate and will be there for you 100%. Some will disappear. People you barely know will suddnely be part of your best support system!
It's annoying when you thought you knew someone and they turn out to be totally insensitive. But at the same time, now you DO know who your friends are and that is a good thing. Don't waste your time on people who can't be bothered to ask how you are. When something happens to them, I'm sure they will feel a little differently...

katyf13 · Jun 3, 2008

I think anytime you go through a very difficult time, it does show you who your friends are. Some will step up to the plate and will be there for you 100%. Some will disappear. People you barely know will suddnely be part of your best support system!
It's annoying when you thought you knew someone and they turn out to be totally insensitive. But at the same time, now you DO know who your friends are and that is a good thing. Don't waste your time on people who can't be bothered to ask how you are. When something happens to them, I'm sure they will feel a little differently...

katyf13 · Jun 3, 2008

I think anytime you go through a very difficult time, it does show you who your friends are. Some will step up to the plate and will be there for you 100%. Some will disappear. People you barely know will suddnely be part of your best support system!
It's annoying when you thought you knew someone and they turn out to be totally insensitive. But at the same time, now you DO know who your friends are and that is a good thing. Don't waste your time on people who can't be bothered to ask how you are. When something happens to them, I'm sure they will feel a little differently...

katyf13 · Jun 3, 2008

I think anytime you go through a very difficult time, it does show you who your friends are. Some will step up to the plate and will be there for you 100%. Some will disappear. People you barely know will suddnely be part of your best support system!
It's annoying when you thought you knew someone and they turn out to be totally insensitive. But at the same time, now you DO know who your friends are and that is a good thing. Don't waste your time on people who can't be bothered to ask how you are. When something happens to them, I'm sure they will feel a little differently...

katyf13 · Jun 3, 2008

I think anytime you go through a very difficult time, it does show you who your friends are. Some will step up to the plate and will be there for you 100%. Some will disappear. People you barely know will suddnely be part of your best support system!
 It's annoying when you thought you knew someone and they turn out to be totally insensitive. But at the same time, now you DO know who your friends are and that is a good thing. Don't waste your time on people who can't be bothered to ask how you are. When something happens to them, I'm sure they will feel a little differently...

SEANP · Jun 3, 2008

Most people have very short memories for things that do not directly affect them. I have learned to accept this for the most part. I am now almost 5 years out from my son being diagnosed. My co workers have been very supportive, a few of my family members have been supportive too, but most simply ignore it. Some of our friends have been supportive but some are self-centered. I think my family ignores, because that is how they cope. Our friends have their own problems so I cut them some slack as well. The one thng that I have not been able to forgive is my wife's bestfriend who could not participate in the CF walk because she was tired from working out too hard the previous day at the gym....... She is still on my short list. I get the most support from my wfie, this web site and my sons CF doctors and support people at Nemours.
Sean

SEANP · Jun 3, 2008

Most people have very short memories for things that do not directly affect them. I have learned to accept this for the most part. I am now almost 5 years out from my son being diagnosed. My co workers have been very supportive, a few of my family members have been supportive too, but most simply ignore it. Some of our friends have been supportive but some are self-centered. I think my family ignores, because that is how they cope. Our friends have their own problems so I cut them some slack as well. The one thng that I have not been able to forgive is my wife's bestfriend who could not participate in the CF walk because she was tired from working out too hard the previous day at the gym....... She is still on my short list. I get the most support from my wfie, this web site and my sons CF doctors and support people at Nemours.
Sean

SEANP · Jun 3, 2008

Most people have very short memories for things that do not directly affect them. I have learned to accept this for the most part. I am now almost 5 years out from my son being diagnosed. My co workers have been very supportive, a few of my family members have been supportive too, but most simply ignore it. Some of our friends have been supportive but some are self-centered. I think my family ignores, because that is how they cope. Our friends have their own problems so I cut them some slack as well. The one thng that I have not been able to forgive is my wife's bestfriend who could not participate in the CF walk because she was tired from working out too hard the previous day at the gym....... She is still on my short list. I get the most support from my wfie, this web site and my sons CF doctors and support people at Nemours.
Sean

SEANP · Jun 3, 2008

Most people have very short memories for things that do not directly affect them. I have learned to accept this for the most part. I am now almost 5 years out from my son being diagnosed. My co workers have been very supportive, a few of my family members have been supportive too, but most simply ignore it. Some of our friends have been supportive but some are self-centered. I think my family ignores, because that is how they cope. Our friends have their own problems so I cut them some slack as well. The one thng that I have not been able to forgive is my wife's bestfriend who could not participate in the CF walk because she was tired from working out too hard the previous day at the gym....... She is still on my short list. I get the most support from my wfie, this web site and my sons CF doctors and support people at Nemours.
Sean

SEANP · Jun 3, 2008

Most people have very short memories for things that do not directly affect them. I have learned to accept this for the most part. I am now almost 5 years out from my son being diagnosed. My co workers have been very supportive, a few of my family members have been supportive too, but most simply ignore it. Some of our friends have been supportive but some are self-centered. I think my family ignores, because that is how they cope. Our friends have their own problems so I cut them some slack as well. The one thng that I have not been able to forgive is my wife's bestfriend who could not participate in the CF walk because she was tired from working out too hard the previous day at the gym....... She is still on my short list. I get the most support from my wfie, this web site and my sons CF doctors and support people at Nemours.
Sean

You know who your real friends are...

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