Ok here is the story in a nuttshell, I will try and keep it as short as possible and get the main situation across.
HISTORY:
I had been on disability for a very long time. My exact disability is SSDI through my father (he died before he retired/collected). I have been on that for many years, and worked several under the table jobs. I got engaged, then thought I wouldn't be able to get married in fear of losing my SSDI benefits. I got an education in criminal justice, in order to get a career and not worry about my benefits. So I have SSDI, and medicare and a medicare part D insurance (Freedom Health) that I never use due to being on my mothers insurance (with my fiance's as a back up, but it's nowhere near as good as my mothers).
I found out about social securities "Ticket to work" program. I was sick of not doing anything with my life career wise. Not doing much + playing video games and being a house hermit eventually can drive you insane. I have been very lucky in the aspect of CF health. My recent check up showed my PFT's in the high 90's, with like a total lung capacity of 102%. So I am a very healthy CF (with the exception of some occasional blood streaks/phanton lung pains, etc). I went to work for a company that supplies high end security for corporate clients. The 12 hour shifts of mostly being in the Florida sun was hard at first, but after a while I got used to it and moved to 8 hour shifts, with more indoors than outdoors exposure. I worked there about a year and a half before I started having bad bleeds and needed to be on IV's. Thankfully my boss/client were cool with me working the same, and taking breaks to administer the IV's.
After a while the social security administration put the hammer down on me, and the situation was I could still work, but extremely part time (no more than 920 a month GROSS). It was my call. I chose to go part time and stay on my benefits because the job I'm at is far from a career, and to be honest I can't stand it anymore. So now i'm working basically less than 20 hours per week to stay under the cap. I receive around 13,000 a year in $$$, and pay 100 bucks a month for my medicare part D that I don't even use because how broken our system is (having to pay 20% of any inhaled drug, etc). The thought of sitting around with so much time on my hands doing nothing but working 4 hours 4 times a week, and not achieving my goals of getting a career going, was cool for the first month (due to me working part time at my crappy job for 2 years), it was like a good break (I never took a vacation either).
THE DILEMMA (where I need your advice):
The whole time I was working there I had been applying to better positions within county, and state positions in the field (security) that I have experience in. Primary this large company overseen by the federal government, state, county etc. It's basically a career. Much more money, paid medical benefits after the probationary period, matching 401k, tons of extra training, etc. Basically I thought it was my dream job. I applied several times and interviewed real well several times, but never got the job due to them having to hire veterans first. I applied a again out of the blue two weeks ago thinking "There's a better chance satan will be ice skating before I get a call back from them".
Well I got a call back. No more interviews, no more sitting in front of a panel. They want me to work there now. Asked me when I could start, gotta go take a psych eval, and all that stuff (this is a very high end position). I went today and took a tour. The job seems very encompassing, with much more responsibility. What I do now (or rather don't do) would kind of be a stretch to be called "working" for most of the time I'm there. This is different, it can be very busy, etc. To be honest, I was a little anxious while taking the tour. I know I can do anything I put my mind to, and I'm a smart guy, but it's like night and day to what i'm doing now. Also, a lot of exposure to the elements. Hot in the summer, cold in the winter. The heat doesn't bother me much, as long as I hydrate and eat salty stuff.
I haven't spoken with social security yet, but if I take the job and go full time,I would assume I lose *ALL* my disability benefits, and my payments. Basically I have nothing to fall back onto in case I get sick again (which is a given, it's just how long till I get sick. Last time it was a year and a half). To be honest, i'm pretty scared. But on the other side of the coin, I can't just remain essentially doing nothing but part time work when my company has some available. I would lose all my disability protections as in discrimination, etc.
I feel like i'm about to jump out of a plane and not know what's below, and not know if I indeed have a parachute on my back. So I guess i'm just asking you guys if you think a potential career is worth the risk. The scary part is if I start there, and after a month or two don't like it for whatever reasons, i've already screwed myself social security wise correct? I've already used up my 9 month trial work period, and if I remember correctly, the woman that I spoke to at the SS said there was only one trial period. The place that offered me the job has short and long term disability insurance. Does anyone know if these apply to someone who already has a known disability, and it gets worse? I understand how they work (If you get hurt or temporarily disabled you draw a % of your normal earnings for like 14 weeks for short term, and for long term it's a % forever). I'm just curious how they apply to someone like me with CF, that ALREADY is disabled (though my employers don't know). I wonder if I would qualify.
I'm confused and scared. I hear life's opportunity calling me, and in a way i'm scared to leave what has been a protective nest for so long. If I could only hit pause on my benefits and then go work and see what's up, and then when I stop working hit play again, that would be great, but we all know that isn't how it works. I need to call my SS main office and speak with someone to find out all the details. As we have spoke about on here before, you need to work 5 years full time in order to claim/reclaim SSDI? Well I'm at two years now. So if I take this job and can't do it any more after say a year or so, I'm screwed huh?
I could physically fight Mr. T carrying a bat and not be scared, but stuff like this, with basically my entire security of well being health wise in possible jeopardy, scares the hell out of me. I'm a very healthy CF, and I don't fear the work really, I fear there being no back up health there for when/if I fall (more like when).
Opinions? Ideas? I go in next week for the tests I need to do, and if all that is ok I will give a week notice to my current employer. If the risks are too great in taking this, I could still tell them no and go back to being a bump on a log that isn't really happy and not going anywhere in life. But like I said, this is an opportunity. It just sucks that if I take the opportunity and it doesn't work out, i'm screwed. Unless i'm wrong and there is a possible "ticket to work" program trial period I could use?
Thanks, sorry it's so long, but in order to understand my position I needed to explain everything. Your opinions/advice would be greatly appreciated.
HISTORY:
I had been on disability for a very long time. My exact disability is SSDI through my father (he died before he retired/collected). I have been on that for many years, and worked several under the table jobs. I got engaged, then thought I wouldn't be able to get married in fear of losing my SSDI benefits. I got an education in criminal justice, in order to get a career and not worry about my benefits. So I have SSDI, and medicare and a medicare part D insurance (Freedom Health) that I never use due to being on my mothers insurance (with my fiance's as a back up, but it's nowhere near as good as my mothers).
I found out about social securities "Ticket to work" program. I was sick of not doing anything with my life career wise. Not doing much + playing video games and being a house hermit eventually can drive you insane. I have been very lucky in the aspect of CF health. My recent check up showed my PFT's in the high 90's, with like a total lung capacity of 102%. So I am a very healthy CF (with the exception of some occasional blood streaks/phanton lung pains, etc). I went to work for a company that supplies high end security for corporate clients. The 12 hour shifts of mostly being in the Florida sun was hard at first, but after a while I got used to it and moved to 8 hour shifts, with more indoors than outdoors exposure. I worked there about a year and a half before I started having bad bleeds and needed to be on IV's. Thankfully my boss/client were cool with me working the same, and taking breaks to administer the IV's.
After a while the social security administration put the hammer down on me, and the situation was I could still work, but extremely part time (no more than 920 a month GROSS). It was my call. I chose to go part time and stay on my benefits because the job I'm at is far from a career, and to be honest I can't stand it anymore. So now i'm working basically less than 20 hours per week to stay under the cap. I receive around 13,000 a year in $$$, and pay 100 bucks a month for my medicare part D that I don't even use because how broken our system is (having to pay 20% of any inhaled drug, etc). The thought of sitting around with so much time on my hands doing nothing but working 4 hours 4 times a week, and not achieving my goals of getting a career going, was cool for the first month (due to me working part time at my crappy job for 2 years), it was like a good break (I never took a vacation either).
THE DILEMMA (where I need your advice):
The whole time I was working there I had been applying to better positions within county, and state positions in the field (security) that I have experience in. Primary this large company overseen by the federal government, state, county etc. It's basically a career. Much more money, paid medical benefits after the probationary period, matching 401k, tons of extra training, etc. Basically I thought it was my dream job. I applied several times and interviewed real well several times, but never got the job due to them having to hire veterans first. I applied a again out of the blue two weeks ago thinking "There's a better chance satan will be ice skating before I get a call back from them".
Well I got a call back. No more interviews, no more sitting in front of a panel. They want me to work there now. Asked me when I could start, gotta go take a psych eval, and all that stuff (this is a very high end position). I went today and took a tour. The job seems very encompassing, with much more responsibility. What I do now (or rather don't do) would kind of be a stretch to be called "working" for most of the time I'm there. This is different, it can be very busy, etc. To be honest, I was a little anxious while taking the tour. I know I can do anything I put my mind to, and I'm a smart guy, but it's like night and day to what i'm doing now. Also, a lot of exposure to the elements. Hot in the summer, cold in the winter. The heat doesn't bother me much, as long as I hydrate and eat salty stuff.
I haven't spoken with social security yet, but if I take the job and go full time,I would assume I lose *ALL* my disability benefits, and my payments. Basically I have nothing to fall back onto in case I get sick again (which is a given, it's just how long till I get sick. Last time it was a year and a half). To be honest, i'm pretty scared. But on the other side of the coin, I can't just remain essentially doing nothing but part time work when my company has some available. I would lose all my disability protections as in discrimination, etc.
I feel like i'm about to jump out of a plane and not know what's below, and not know if I indeed have a parachute on my back. So I guess i'm just asking you guys if you think a potential career is worth the risk. The scary part is if I start there, and after a month or two don't like it for whatever reasons, i've already screwed myself social security wise correct? I've already used up my 9 month trial work period, and if I remember correctly, the woman that I spoke to at the SS said there was only one trial period. The place that offered me the job has short and long term disability insurance. Does anyone know if these apply to someone who already has a known disability, and it gets worse? I understand how they work (If you get hurt or temporarily disabled you draw a % of your normal earnings for like 14 weeks for short term, and for long term it's a % forever). I'm just curious how they apply to someone like me with CF, that ALREADY is disabled (though my employers don't know). I wonder if I would qualify.
I'm confused and scared. I hear life's opportunity calling me, and in a way i'm scared to leave what has been a protective nest for so long. If I could only hit pause on my benefits and then go work and see what's up, and then when I stop working hit play again, that would be great, but we all know that isn't how it works. I need to call my SS main office and speak with someone to find out all the details. As we have spoke about on here before, you need to work 5 years full time in order to claim/reclaim SSDI? Well I'm at two years now. So if I take this job and can't do it any more after say a year or so, I'm screwed huh?
I could physically fight Mr. T carrying a bat and not be scared, but stuff like this, with basically my entire security of well being health wise in possible jeopardy, scares the hell out of me. I'm a very healthy CF, and I don't fear the work really, I fear there being no back up health there for when/if I fall (more like when).
Opinions? Ideas? I go in next week for the tests I need to do, and if all that is ok I will give a week notice to my current employer. If the risks are too great in taking this, I could still tell them no and go back to being a bump on a log that isn't really happy and not going anywhere in life. But like I said, this is an opportunity. It just sucks that if I take the opportunity and it doesn't work out, i'm screwed. Unless i'm wrong and there is a possible "ticket to work" program trial period I could use?
Thanks, sorry it's so long, but in order to understand my position I needed to explain everything. Your opinions/advice would be greatly appreciated.