18 y/o needs advice on getting pregnant.

hbollotte

New member
i agree with nicole on stable health, a stable home/financial situation,a good support system, support of your doctors. i don't agree that you have to be married. there are a few people on this site that are not married because of insurance purposes, etc. if you are in a stable relationship and you truely believe that you are meant to have a child with your fiance/boyfriend then thats fine. i say this because i was not married when i had my child. there are many couples today that have children when they aren't married and prefer it that way.

i do agree with being 18 that is a little young, i'm 26 and i think thats still young to be a mother. its just really HARD after the baby, the pregancy isn't hard at all, its taking care of your baby. i'm sick every time she gets sick and it's not fun. i wouldn't trade her for the world. good luck with what ever you decide. we're here for you no matter what our opinions are
 

hbollotte

New member
i agree with nicole on stable health, a stable home/financial situation,a good support system, support of your doctors. i don't agree that you have to be married. there are a few people on this site that are not married because of insurance purposes, etc. if you are in a stable relationship and you truely believe that you are meant to have a child with your fiance/boyfriend then thats fine. i say this because i was not married when i had my child. there are many couples today that have children when they aren't married and prefer it that way.

i do agree with being 18 that is a little young, i'm 26 and i think thats still young to be a mother. its just really HARD after the baby, the pregancy isn't hard at all, its taking care of your baby. i'm sick every time she gets sick and it's not fun. i wouldn't trade her for the world. good luck with what ever you decide. we're here for you no matter what our opinions are
 

hbollotte

New member
i agree with nicole on stable health, a stable home/financial situation,a good support system, support of your doctors. i don't agree that you have to be married. there are a few people on this site that are not married because of insurance purposes, etc. if you are in a stable relationship and you truely believe that you are meant to have a child with your fiance/boyfriend then thats fine. i say this because i was not married when i had my child. there are many couples today that have children when they aren't married and prefer it that way.

i do agree with being 18 that is a little young, i'm 26 and i think thats still young to be a mother. its just really HARD after the baby, the pregancy isn't hard at all, its taking care of your baby. i'm sick every time she gets sick and it's not fun. i wouldn't trade her for the world. good luck with what ever you decide. we're here for you no matter what our opinions are
 

hbollotte

New member
i agree with nicole on stable health, a stable home/financial situation,a good support system, support of your doctors. i don't agree that you have to be married. there are a few people on this site that are not married because of insurance purposes, etc. if you are in a stable relationship and you truely believe that you are meant to have a child with your fiance/boyfriend then thats fine. i say this because i was not married when i had my child. there are many couples today that have children when they aren't married and prefer it that way.

i do agree with being 18 that is a little young, i'm 26 and i think thats still young to be a mother. its just really HARD after the baby, the pregancy isn't hard at all, its taking care of your baby. i'm sick every time she gets sick and it's not fun. i wouldn't trade her for the world. good luck with what ever you decide. we're here for you no matter what our opinions are
 

hbollotte

New member
i agree with nicole on stable health, a stable home/financial situation,a good support system, support of your doctors. i don't agree that you have to be married. there are a few people on this site that are not married because of insurance purposes, etc. if you are in a stable relationship and you truely believe that you are meant to have a child with your fiance/boyfriend then thats fine. i say this because i was not married when i had my child. there are many couples today that have children when they aren't married and prefer it that way.
<br />
<br />i do agree with being 18 that is a little young, i'm 26 and i think thats still young to be a mother. its just really HARD after the baby, the pregancy isn't hard at all, its taking care of your baby. i'm sick every time she gets sick and it's not fun. i wouldn't trade her for the world. good luck with what ever you decide. we're here for you no matter what our opinions are
 

Jeana

New member
This is a tough post to respond to. Everyone else hit on the age thing, so all I want to add is that I met my husband at 19. We bought a house when I was 20 before marriage. We are still together and happy. I don't think age is the biggest issue.

What worries me is your not wanting to die before you have a baby. It doesn't end at having a baby. What should be your concern is being healthy enough after having the baby to live to raise your child. My doctor told me this when I was so concerned with having maternity leave that I was waiting and sacrificing my health by not going into the hospital as needed. It was hard for me to hear, but I very well was slicing years off my life--years that I want to spend with my children.

Anyway, I'm all for CFers having children, a career, a marriage, etc. These are the reasons we have to live, right? I just know that a pregnancy is really rough on your health. I started at an FEV1 of 80% which was down in the 40's during my pregnancy. It is now at 66%, 3 weeks after giving birth.

Think hard about your decision and if this is what you really want, stay serious about your treatments, get your FEV1 up and go for it! On a side note, it sounds like your weight is good, but how are your vitamin levels?
 

Jeana

New member
This is a tough post to respond to. Everyone else hit on the age thing, so all I want to add is that I met my husband at 19. We bought a house when I was 20 before marriage. We are still together and happy. I don't think age is the biggest issue.

What worries me is your not wanting to die before you have a baby. It doesn't end at having a baby. What should be your concern is being healthy enough after having the baby to live to raise your child. My doctor told me this when I was so concerned with having maternity leave that I was waiting and sacrificing my health by not going into the hospital as needed. It was hard for me to hear, but I very well was slicing years off my life--years that I want to spend with my children.

Anyway, I'm all for CFers having children, a career, a marriage, etc. These are the reasons we have to live, right? I just know that a pregnancy is really rough on your health. I started at an FEV1 of 80% which was down in the 40's during my pregnancy. It is now at 66%, 3 weeks after giving birth.

Think hard about your decision and if this is what you really want, stay serious about your treatments, get your FEV1 up and go for it! On a side note, it sounds like your weight is good, but how are your vitamin levels?
 

Jeana

New member
This is a tough post to respond to. Everyone else hit on the age thing, so all I want to add is that I met my husband at 19. We bought a house when I was 20 before marriage. We are still together and happy. I don't think age is the biggest issue.

What worries me is your not wanting to die before you have a baby. It doesn't end at having a baby. What should be your concern is being healthy enough after having the baby to live to raise your child. My doctor told me this when I was so concerned with having maternity leave that I was waiting and sacrificing my health by not going into the hospital as needed. It was hard for me to hear, but I very well was slicing years off my life--years that I want to spend with my children.

Anyway, I'm all for CFers having children, a career, a marriage, etc. These are the reasons we have to live, right? I just know that a pregnancy is really rough on your health. I started at an FEV1 of 80% which was down in the 40's during my pregnancy. It is now at 66%, 3 weeks after giving birth.

Think hard about your decision and if this is what you really want, stay serious about your treatments, get your FEV1 up and go for it! On a side note, it sounds like your weight is good, but how are your vitamin levels?
 

Jeana

New member
This is a tough post to respond to. Everyone else hit on the age thing, so all I want to add is that I met my husband at 19. We bought a house when I was 20 before marriage. We are still together and happy. I don't think age is the biggest issue.

What worries me is your not wanting to die before you have a baby. It doesn't end at having a baby. What should be your concern is being healthy enough after having the baby to live to raise your child. My doctor told me this when I was so concerned with having maternity leave that I was waiting and sacrificing my health by not going into the hospital as needed. It was hard for me to hear, but I very well was slicing years off my life--years that I want to spend with my children.

Anyway, I'm all for CFers having children, a career, a marriage, etc. These are the reasons we have to live, right? I just know that a pregnancy is really rough on your health. I started at an FEV1 of 80% which was down in the 40's during my pregnancy. It is now at 66%, 3 weeks after giving birth.

Think hard about your decision and if this is what you really want, stay serious about your treatments, get your FEV1 up and go for it! On a side note, it sounds like your weight is good, but how are your vitamin levels?
 

Jeana

New member
This is a tough post to respond to. Everyone else hit on the age thing, so all I want to add is that I met my husband at 19. We bought a house when I was 20 before marriage. We are still together and happy. I don't think age is the biggest issue.
<br />
<br />What worries me is your not wanting to die before you have a baby. It doesn't end at having a baby. What should be your concern is being healthy enough after having the baby to live to raise your child. My doctor told me this when I was so concerned with having maternity leave that I was waiting and sacrificing my health by not going into the hospital as needed. It was hard for me to hear, but I very well was slicing years off my life--years that I want to spend with my children.
<br />
<br />Anyway, I'm all for CFers having children, a career, a marriage, etc. These are the reasons we have to live, right? I just know that a pregnancy is really rough on your health. I started at an FEV1 of 80% which was down in the 40's during my pregnancy. It is now at 66%, 3 weeks after giving birth.
<br />
<br />Think hard about your decision and if this is what you really want, stay serious about your treatments, get your FEV1 up and go for it! On a side note, it sounds like your weight is good, but how are your vitamin levels?
 

Kristen

New member
I don't think having a baby because you "want to have one before you die" sounds like it is in the best interest of a child. Having a baby is a lifetime, selfless decision that a person SHOULD make because they want to live for something outside of themselves and spend their lives nurturing a raising another human. And this requires the things that the previous posters mentioned - stable home, health, finances, family support.

And it requires maturity, something that MOST 18 year olds don't have yet - and this is not an insult, it is just the way things are and is why a lot of people harp on the age thing. Most adults look back at the way they were and the decisions they would have made at 18 and think "My God, I thought I knew it all then. Thank God I didn't do some of the things I thought I was ready to do." A lot of maturing happens in your early 20s!
 

Kristen

New member
I don't think having a baby because you "want to have one before you die" sounds like it is in the best interest of a child. Having a baby is a lifetime, selfless decision that a person SHOULD make because they want to live for something outside of themselves and spend their lives nurturing a raising another human. And this requires the things that the previous posters mentioned - stable home, health, finances, family support.

And it requires maturity, something that MOST 18 year olds don't have yet - and this is not an insult, it is just the way things are and is why a lot of people harp on the age thing. Most adults look back at the way they were and the decisions they would have made at 18 and think "My God, I thought I knew it all then. Thank God I didn't do some of the things I thought I was ready to do." A lot of maturing happens in your early 20s!
 

Kristen

New member
I don't think having a baby because you "want to have one before you die" sounds like it is in the best interest of a child. Having a baby is a lifetime, selfless decision that a person SHOULD make because they want to live for something outside of themselves and spend their lives nurturing a raising another human. And this requires the things that the previous posters mentioned - stable home, health, finances, family support.

And it requires maturity, something that MOST 18 year olds don't have yet - and this is not an insult, it is just the way things are and is why a lot of people harp on the age thing. Most adults look back at the way they were and the decisions they would have made at 18 and think "My God, I thought I knew it all then. Thank God I didn't do some of the things I thought I was ready to do." A lot of maturing happens in your early 20s!
 

Kristen

New member
I don't think having a baby because you "want to have one before you die" sounds like it is in the best interest of a child. Having a baby is a lifetime, selfless decision that a person SHOULD make because they want to live for something outside of themselves and spend their lives nurturing a raising another human. And this requires the things that the previous posters mentioned - stable home, health, finances, family support.

And it requires maturity, something that MOST 18 year olds don't have yet - and this is not an insult, it is just the way things are and is why a lot of people harp on the age thing. Most adults look back at the way they were and the decisions they would have made at 18 and think "My God, I thought I knew it all then. Thank God I didn't do some of the things I thought I was ready to do." A lot of maturing happens in your early 20s!
 

Kristen

New member
I don't think having a baby because you "want to have one before you die" sounds like it is in the best interest of a child. Having a baby is a lifetime, selfless decision that a person SHOULD make because they want to live for something outside of themselves and spend their lives nurturing a raising another human. And this requires the things that the previous posters mentioned - stable home, health, finances, family support.
<br />
<br />And it requires maturity, something that MOST 18 year olds don't have yet - and this is not an insult, it is just the way things are and is why a lot of people harp on the age thing. Most adults look back at the way they were and the decisions they would have made at 18 and think "My God, I thought I knew it all then. Thank God I didn't do some of the things I thought I was ready to do." A lot of maturing happens in your early 20s!
 

mamaScarlett

Active member
I've been waiting for days to reply to this because I really wanted to think about it.
First off, I've been in your shoes as have many women w cf here. The baby road...its hard, its long and its a huge decision.
Something for you to think seriously about is the guidelines for women w cf and pregnancy. You should have a fev1 of 70%+ for a stable year before pregnancy. That means having those numbers but not needing major medical intervention for at least a year. Most healthy cf pregnancies take 1 1/2 years minimum to plan. And about preg affecting pfts well thats the great question mark. Thats why docs get so worried. You just don't know. Thats why the longer you can go without needing iv treatment bc you are carrying high pfts and stayign healthy-the better. They can tell if you'll turn out ok with the preg.
It looks like your numbers are getting there so thats great. You have made a major realization in your life about compliance, and thats a huge accomplishment. However, you have just begun on the road of cf compliance.
Every doc and every successful mom with Cf (meaning a mom that is staying healthy and is living into her 30s and beyond) I've ever talked to-has said the #1 factor in determining success in pregnancy and child rearing is compliance and scheduling. If you are not compliant during and after you have a baby, I'm not going to sugar coat it-its a death sentence.
You need to take a few years living the life of a compliant cfer before you take on this task of pregnancy and child raising. Traveling, depression, living with husband, work stress-these are all things that test the limits of your cf compliance routine and your body.
Let me tell you, when you are 9 months preg and sweating and have a painful back ache, or are strapping a fussy 2 yr old in and out of a car seat all day-and you come home at the end of a day-it is VERY hard to force yourself to sit down and do a therapy.
But, years of living with my husband and becoming a team after growing together plus growing myself and experiencing life have given me the maturity and 'will' to do just do it.

Its not about 'oh you're too young or not married'...I don't believe that cfers should limit themselves in any way.
But its to have time for you, sweetie, and your fiance. You deserve to grow together, to pursue self satisfying careers together, to travel together. After you have a child-it is not about YOU anymore. Take the time for you right now. Its your time.
You aren't dying!-You have plenty of time to have a child. Yo don't have to choose.

Something else that is hard to talk about but has to be talked about is your view of your life with cf. Are you able to look your doctor in the eye and ask-Am I going to live long enough to have a child? Can you look at your partner and say-If I die and we have a 10 year old child, are you willing to be a single parent? I know-it hurts. You don't want to think about that. And it doesn't mean that you should write off having a child bc you have cf. I have a beautiful 2 yr old who is my reason for living. Come what may, I am her mommy.
But being a mommmy means being responsible for someone else.
It also worries me that you fear death before having a child-at 18 you shouldn't be fearing death so to me that says you have some issues with that that need adressing, and even more that your view of having a child isn't clear yet.
A mothers goal is to be there for her child-not give birth and say, wow, I did it that was amazing...its caring for that person their whole life.

Lastly let me tell you from the bottom of my heart-a deep fear I had to conquer before deciding to have a baby was thinking-if I have a baby, maybe then I won't die of Cf. Somehow subconsciously I thought that having a child to be responsible for would keep me from dying of cf. I had to come to terms with my illness before committing to the decision of child rearing.
You don't want to rush into this-the biggest decision of your life. This is your time, take it for you and your husband. You have time.
Talk openly and honestly with your doctor, or a nurse someone you feel comfortable with to get all the facts. Don't be scared.
I think that one day you will make a WONDERFUL mother! You are already showing those signs and being responsible. Why not focus for now on being a wonderful future wife and a wonderful person. The rest will follow and the future is exciting!
 

mamaScarlett

Active member
I've been waiting for days to reply to this because I really wanted to think about it.
First off, I've been in your shoes as have many women w cf here. The baby road...its hard, its long and its a huge decision.
Something for you to think seriously about is the guidelines for women w cf and pregnancy. You should have a fev1 of 70%+ for a stable year before pregnancy. That means having those numbers but not needing major medical intervention for at least a year. Most healthy cf pregnancies take 1 1/2 years minimum to plan. And about preg affecting pfts well thats the great question mark. Thats why docs get so worried. You just don't know. Thats why the longer you can go without needing iv treatment bc you are carrying high pfts and stayign healthy-the better. They can tell if you'll turn out ok with the preg.
It looks like your numbers are getting there so thats great. You have made a major realization in your life about compliance, and thats a huge accomplishment. However, you have just begun on the road of cf compliance.
Every doc and every successful mom with Cf (meaning a mom that is staying healthy and is living into her 30s and beyond) I've ever talked to-has said the #1 factor in determining success in pregnancy and child rearing is compliance and scheduling. If you are not compliant during and after you have a baby, I'm not going to sugar coat it-its a death sentence.
You need to take a few years living the life of a compliant cfer before you take on this task of pregnancy and child raising. Traveling, depression, living with husband, work stress-these are all things that test the limits of your cf compliance routine and your body.
Let me tell you, when you are 9 months preg and sweating and have a painful back ache, or are strapping a fussy 2 yr old in and out of a car seat all day-and you come home at the end of a day-it is VERY hard to force yourself to sit down and do a therapy.
But, years of living with my husband and becoming a team after growing together plus growing myself and experiencing life have given me the maturity and 'will' to do just do it.

Its not about 'oh you're too young or not married'...I don't believe that cfers should limit themselves in any way.
But its to have time for you, sweetie, and your fiance. You deserve to grow together, to pursue self satisfying careers together, to travel together. After you have a child-it is not about YOU anymore. Take the time for you right now. Its your time.
You aren't dying!-You have plenty of time to have a child. Yo don't have to choose.

Something else that is hard to talk about but has to be talked about is your view of your life with cf. Are you able to look your doctor in the eye and ask-Am I going to live long enough to have a child? Can you look at your partner and say-If I die and we have a 10 year old child, are you willing to be a single parent? I know-it hurts. You don't want to think about that. And it doesn't mean that you should write off having a child bc you have cf. I have a beautiful 2 yr old who is my reason for living. Come what may, I am her mommy.
But being a mommmy means being responsible for someone else.
It also worries me that you fear death before having a child-at 18 you shouldn't be fearing death so to me that says you have some issues with that that need adressing, and even more that your view of having a child isn't clear yet.
A mothers goal is to be there for her child-not give birth and say, wow, I did it that was amazing...its caring for that person their whole life.

Lastly let me tell you from the bottom of my heart-a deep fear I had to conquer before deciding to have a baby was thinking-if I have a baby, maybe then I won't die of Cf. Somehow subconsciously I thought that having a child to be responsible for would keep me from dying of cf. I had to come to terms with my illness before committing to the decision of child rearing.
You don't want to rush into this-the biggest decision of your life. This is your time, take it for you and your husband. You have time.
Talk openly and honestly with your doctor, or a nurse someone you feel comfortable with to get all the facts. Don't be scared.
I think that one day you will make a WONDERFUL mother! You are already showing those signs and being responsible. Why not focus for now on being a wonderful future wife and a wonderful person. The rest will follow and the future is exciting!
 

mamaScarlett

Active member
I've been waiting for days to reply to this because I really wanted to think about it.
First off, I've been in your shoes as have many women w cf here. The baby road...its hard, its long and its a huge decision.
Something for you to think seriously about is the guidelines for women w cf and pregnancy. You should have a fev1 of 70%+ for a stable year before pregnancy. That means having those numbers but not needing major medical intervention for at least a year. Most healthy cf pregnancies take 1 1/2 years minimum to plan. And about preg affecting pfts well thats the great question mark. Thats why docs get so worried. You just don't know. Thats why the longer you can go without needing iv treatment bc you are carrying high pfts and stayign healthy-the better. They can tell if you'll turn out ok with the preg.
It looks like your numbers are getting there so thats great. You have made a major realization in your life about compliance, and thats a huge accomplishment. However, you have just begun on the road of cf compliance.
Every doc and every successful mom with Cf (meaning a mom that is staying healthy and is living into her 30s and beyond) I've ever talked to-has said the #1 factor in determining success in pregnancy and child rearing is compliance and scheduling. If you are not compliant during and after you have a baby, I'm not going to sugar coat it-its a death sentence.
You need to take a few years living the life of a compliant cfer before you take on this task of pregnancy and child raising. Traveling, depression, living with husband, work stress-these are all things that test the limits of your cf compliance routine and your body.
Let me tell you, when you are 9 months preg and sweating and have a painful back ache, or are strapping a fussy 2 yr old in and out of a car seat all day-and you come home at the end of a day-it is VERY hard to force yourself to sit down and do a therapy.
But, years of living with my husband and becoming a team after growing together plus growing myself and experiencing life have given me the maturity and 'will' to do just do it.

Its not about 'oh you're too young or not married'...I don't believe that cfers should limit themselves in any way.
But its to have time for you, sweetie, and your fiance. You deserve to grow together, to pursue self satisfying careers together, to travel together. After you have a child-it is not about YOU anymore. Take the time for you right now. Its your time.
You aren't dying!-You have plenty of time to have a child. Yo don't have to choose.

Something else that is hard to talk about but has to be talked about is your view of your life with cf. Are you able to look your doctor in the eye and ask-Am I going to live long enough to have a child? Can you look at your partner and say-If I die and we have a 10 year old child, are you willing to be a single parent? I know-it hurts. You don't want to think about that. And it doesn't mean that you should write off having a child bc you have cf. I have a beautiful 2 yr old who is my reason for living. Come what may, I am her mommy.
But being a mommmy means being responsible for someone else.
It also worries me that you fear death before having a child-at 18 you shouldn't be fearing death so to me that says you have some issues with that that need adressing, and even more that your view of having a child isn't clear yet.
A mothers goal is to be there for her child-not give birth and say, wow, I did it that was amazing...its caring for that person their whole life.

Lastly let me tell you from the bottom of my heart-a deep fear I had to conquer before deciding to have a baby was thinking-if I have a baby, maybe then I won't die of Cf. Somehow subconsciously I thought that having a child to be responsible for would keep me from dying of cf. I had to come to terms with my illness before committing to the decision of child rearing.
You don't want to rush into this-the biggest decision of your life. This is your time, take it for you and your husband. You have time.
Talk openly and honestly with your doctor, or a nurse someone you feel comfortable with to get all the facts. Don't be scared.
I think that one day you will make a WONDERFUL mother! You are already showing those signs and being responsible. Why not focus for now on being a wonderful future wife and a wonderful person. The rest will follow and the future is exciting!
 

mamaScarlett

Active member
I've been waiting for days to reply to this because I really wanted to think about it.
First off, I've been in your shoes as have many women w cf here. The baby road...its hard, its long and its a huge decision.
Something for you to think seriously about is the guidelines for women w cf and pregnancy. You should have a fev1 of 70%+ for a stable year before pregnancy. That means having those numbers but not needing major medical intervention for at least a year. Most healthy cf pregnancies take 1 1/2 years minimum to plan. And about preg affecting pfts well thats the great question mark. Thats why docs get so worried. You just don't know. Thats why the longer you can go without needing iv treatment bc you are carrying high pfts and stayign healthy-the better. They can tell if you'll turn out ok with the preg.
It looks like your numbers are getting there so thats great. You have made a major realization in your life about compliance, and thats a huge accomplishment. However, you have just begun on the road of cf compliance.
Every doc and every successful mom with Cf (meaning a mom that is staying healthy and is living into her 30s and beyond) I've ever talked to-has said the #1 factor in determining success in pregnancy and child rearing is compliance and scheduling. If you are not compliant during and after you have a baby, I'm not going to sugar coat it-its a death sentence.
You need to take a few years living the life of a compliant cfer before you take on this task of pregnancy and child raising. Traveling, depression, living with husband, work stress-these are all things that test the limits of your cf compliance routine and your body.
Let me tell you, when you are 9 months preg and sweating and have a painful back ache, or are strapping a fussy 2 yr old in and out of a car seat all day-and you come home at the end of a day-it is VERY hard to force yourself to sit down and do a therapy.
But, years of living with my husband and becoming a team after growing together plus growing myself and experiencing life have given me the maturity and 'will' to do just do it.

Its not about 'oh you're too young or not married'...I don't believe that cfers should limit themselves in any way.
But its to have time for you, sweetie, and your fiance. You deserve to grow together, to pursue self satisfying careers together, to travel together. After you have a child-it is not about YOU anymore. Take the time for you right now. Its your time.
You aren't dying!-You have plenty of time to have a child. Yo don't have to choose.

Something else that is hard to talk about but has to be talked about is your view of your life with cf. Are you able to look your doctor in the eye and ask-Am I going to live long enough to have a child? Can you look at your partner and say-If I die and we have a 10 year old child, are you willing to be a single parent? I know-it hurts. You don't want to think about that. And it doesn't mean that you should write off having a child bc you have cf. I have a beautiful 2 yr old who is my reason for living. Come what may, I am her mommy.
But being a mommmy means being responsible for someone else.
It also worries me that you fear death before having a child-at 18 you shouldn't be fearing death so to me that says you have some issues with that that need adressing, and even more that your view of having a child isn't clear yet.
A mothers goal is to be there for her child-not give birth and say, wow, I did it that was amazing...its caring for that person their whole life.

Lastly let me tell you from the bottom of my heart-a deep fear I had to conquer before deciding to have a baby was thinking-if I have a baby, maybe then I won't die of Cf. Somehow subconsciously I thought that having a child to be responsible for would keep me from dying of cf. I had to come to terms with my illness before committing to the decision of child rearing.
You don't want to rush into this-the biggest decision of your life. This is your time, take it for you and your husband. You have time.
Talk openly and honestly with your doctor, or a nurse someone you feel comfortable with to get all the facts. Don't be scared.
I think that one day you will make a WONDERFUL mother! You are already showing those signs and being responsible. Why not focus for now on being a wonderful future wife and a wonderful person. The rest will follow and the future is exciting!
 

mamaScarlett

Active member
I've been waiting for days to reply to this because I really wanted to think about it.
<br />First off, I've been in your shoes as have many women w cf here. The baby road...its hard, its long and its a huge decision.
<br />Something for you to think seriously about is the guidelines for women w cf and pregnancy. You should have a fev1 of 70%+ for a stable year before pregnancy. That means having those numbers but not needing major medical intervention for at least a year. Most healthy cf pregnancies take 1 1/2 years minimum to plan. And about preg affecting pfts well thats the great question mark. Thats why docs get so worried. You just don't know. Thats why the longer you can go without needing iv treatment bc you are carrying high pfts and stayign healthy-the better. They can tell if you'll turn out ok with the preg.
<br />It looks like your numbers are getting there so thats great. You have made a major realization in your life about compliance, and thats a huge accomplishment. However, you have just begun on the road of cf compliance.
<br />Every doc and every successful mom with Cf (meaning a mom that is staying healthy and is living into her 30s and beyond) I've ever talked to-has said the #1 factor in determining success in pregnancy and child rearing is compliance and scheduling. If you are not compliant during and after you have a baby, I'm not going to sugar coat it-its a death sentence.
<br />You need to take a few years living the life of a compliant cfer before you take on this task of pregnancy and child raising. Traveling, depression, living with husband, work stress-these are all things that test the limits of your cf compliance routine and your body.
<br />Let me tell you, when you are 9 months preg and sweating and have a painful back ache, or are strapping a fussy 2 yr old in and out of a car seat all day-and you come home at the end of a day-it is VERY hard to force yourself to sit down and do a therapy.
<br />But, years of living with my husband and becoming a team after growing together plus growing myself and experiencing life have given me the maturity and 'will' to do just do it.
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<br />Its not about 'oh you're too young or not married'...I don't believe that cfers should limit themselves in any way.
<br />But its to have time for you, sweetie, and your fiance. You deserve to grow together, to pursue self satisfying careers together, to travel together. After you have a child-it is not about YOU anymore. Take the time for you right now. Its your time.
<br />You aren't dying!-You have plenty of time to have a child. Yo don't have to choose.
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<br />Something else that is hard to talk about but has to be talked about is your view of your life with cf. Are you able to look your doctor in the eye and ask-Am I going to live long enough to have a child? Can you look at your partner and say-If I die and we have a 10 year old child, are you willing to be a single parent? I know-it hurts. You don't want to think about that. And it doesn't mean that you should write off having a child bc you have cf. I have a beautiful 2 yr old who is my reason for living. Come what may, I am her mommy.
<br />But being a mommmy means being responsible for someone else.
<br />It also worries me that you fear death before having a child-at 18 you shouldn't be fearing death so to me that says you have some issues with that that need adressing, and even more that your view of having a child isn't clear yet.
<br />A mothers goal is to be there for her child-not give birth and say, wow, I did it that was amazing...its caring for that person their whole life.
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<br />Lastly let me tell you from the bottom of my heart-a deep fear I had to conquer before deciding to have a baby was thinking-if I have a baby, maybe then I won't die of Cf. Somehow subconsciously I thought that having a child to be responsible for would keep me from dying of cf. I had to come to terms with my illness before committing to the decision of child rearing.
<br />You don't want to rush into this-the biggest decision of your life. This is your time, take it for you and your husband. You have time.
<br />Talk openly and honestly with your doctor, or a nurse someone you feel comfortable with to get all the facts. Don't be scared.
<br />I think that one day you will make a WONDERFUL mother! You are already showing those signs and being responsible. Why not focus for now on being a wonderful future wife and a wonderful person. The rest will follow and the future is exciting!
 
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