A CF comment towards me....

[AnD]

She may be doing this for attention- she may be scared that you are going to die soon, and therefore, so will she, and is looking for reassurance that this is not going to happen really soon, but in a very childish way. She probably knows that it gets your attention just by the look on your face or your body language, whatever the reason she has for doing it. Perhaps she has expressed fear to her mother (perhaps about when you are sick) and she has reassured her that she isn't as "sick" as you (because her lungs are fine), and this has been embarrassingly translated into these outbursts, and her mother is too stunned/embarrassed to know what to do. Just my thoughts, of course <img src=""> .

She should know better, and probably does; I am presently going through the stage with my 3 year old that "we don't point out (in a loud voice) that that man (who works at Walmart) only has hair on the sides of his head, you can tell mommy about it, but very quietly- it hurts some people's feelings", and once I point that out, she is sheepish and embarrassed, no matter how sweetly I tell her.

Perhaps if you sit down right after one of these outbursts and talk to her about it, they will cease. Tell her that it hurts your feelings, that she isn't "as sick" as you, and that since she is younger, she will probably have better medicines than you did anyways, just to do everything her mom and doctor tell her, if that is her fear <img src=""> . And it might not hurt for her mom to hear you say this, so she has an opening to step in and talk to her if she gets rude about it again. She may be waiting for you to say something, and take the lead, if you haven't talked about it . <img src="">

On the other hand, if she is just doing this for attention, she may need a stern talking to, and I would talk to her mother about this if it continues. It would then almost be like a toddler yelling a cuss word in the middle of a crowded resturant- it gets everybody's attention focused on her immediately, and if she did learn that info from her mother, she also has embarrassed her parent, who in turn does nothing. That is also a power trip. That may require disipline from her parents, not just an explanation and heart to heart from you. If she continues to be this way, you may just have to tell her that you won't be coming around if she is going to treat you that way, and when she is ready to apologize and treat you the way you treat her, to give you a call. Even my 3 year old understands that I am not going to play with her if she is going to be ugly. Good luck.

 

[AnD]

She may be doing this for attention- she may be scared that you are going to die soon, and therefore, so will she, and is looking for reassurance that this is not going to happen really soon, but in a very childish way. She probably knows that it gets your attention just by the look on your face or your body language, whatever the reason she has for doing it. Perhaps she has expressed fear to her mother (perhaps about when you are sick) and she has reassured her that she isn't as "sick" as you (because her lungs are fine), and this has been embarrassingly translated into these outbursts, and her mother is too stunned/embarrassed to know what to do. Just my thoughts, of course <img src=""> .

She should know better, and probably does; I am presently going through the stage with my 3 year old that "we don't point out (in a loud voice) that that man (who works at Walmart) only has hair on the sides of his head, you can tell mommy about it, but very quietly- it hurts some people's feelings", and once I point that out, she is sheepish and embarrassed, no matter how sweetly I tell her.

Perhaps if you sit down right after one of these outbursts and talk to her about it, they will cease. Tell her that it hurts your feelings, that she isn't "as sick" as you, and that since she is younger, she will probably have better medicines than you did anyways, just to do everything her mom and doctor tell her, if that is her fear <img src=""> . And it might not hurt for her mom to hear you say this, so she has an opening to step in and talk to her if she gets rude about it again. She may be waiting for you to say something, and take the lead, if you haven't talked about it . <img src="">

On the other hand, if she is just doing this for attention, she may need a stern talking to, and I would talk to her mother about this if it continues. It would then almost be like a toddler yelling a cuss word in the middle of a crowded resturant- it gets everybody's attention focused on her immediately, and if she did learn that info from her mother, she also has embarrassed her parent, who in turn does nothing. That is also a power trip. That may require disipline from her parents, not just an explanation and heart to heart from you. If she continues to be this way, you may just have to tell her that you won't be coming around if she is going to treat you that way, and when she is ready to apologize and treat you the way you treat her, to give you a call. Even my 3 year old understands that I am not going to play with her if she is going to be ugly. Good luck.

 

[lightNlife]

First of all, she's 8 and really has NO understanding of what it really means to have CF. Yes, she's experiencing it, but give the kid a break. All she knows is what she's been told. When I was younger I had someone say something particularly hurtful to me:

"My mom told me I can't be friends with you because you're going to die."

A dumb thing to say? Yes.

A lot of what she's saying is probably not born of her own thoughts on the matter, but rather what she's being "fed" by people older than she is. I'd say just let it go. Don't get competitive, and don't bother trying to explain the differences in the severities and requirements of CF. You'll only be fighting a losing battle.

It's up to each of us how we react to situations. I'm of the opinion that we only have so much energy in the day, and in our lifetimes, so it's probably better to get upset about the things that really matter. As difficult as it may be, let this one go. Spend the energy on taking care of yourself, and not worrying so much about what an uninformed, inexperienced CHILD says.

How your niece's CF is managed is her immediate family's personal business. Reminding her to take enzymes was a little out of your jurisdiction, especially considering that you and she don't have common ground there.

I understand and appreciate you wanting to be some sort of role model or visual aid, but at this point, if all discussion of CF between the two of you only results in your niece being disrespectful, then don't waste your time with that. I think this stuff falls under the category of "You'll understand when you're older." Just let it go for now.

Good luck, and I'm sorry for the ways her words have stung. Learn to let it go, and try to avoid such landmines in the future.

 

[lightNlife]

First of all, she's 8 and really has NO understanding of what it really means to have CF. Yes, she's experiencing it, but give the kid a break. All she knows is what she's been told. When I was younger I had someone say something particularly hurtful to me:

"My mom told me I can't be friends with you because you're going to die."

A dumb thing to say? Yes.

A lot of what she's saying is probably not born of her own thoughts on the matter, but rather what she's being "fed" by people older than she is. I'd say just let it go. Don't get competitive, and don't bother trying to explain the differences in the severities and requirements of CF. You'll only be fighting a losing battle.

It's up to each of us how we react to situations. I'm of the opinion that we only have so much energy in the day, and in our lifetimes, so it's probably better to get upset about the things that really matter. As difficult as it may be, let this one go. Spend the energy on taking care of yourself, and not worrying so much about what an uninformed, inexperienced CHILD says.

How your niece's CF is managed is her immediate family's personal business. Reminding her to take enzymes was a little out of your jurisdiction, especially considering that you and she don't have common ground there.

I understand and appreciate you wanting to be some sort of role model or visual aid, but at this point, if all discussion of CF between the two of you only results in your niece being disrespectful, then don't waste your time with that. I think this stuff falls under the category of "You'll understand when you're older." Just let it go for now.

Good luck, and I'm sorry for the ways her words have stung. Learn to let it go, and try to avoid such landmines in the future.

 

[lightNlife]

First of all, she's 8 and really has NO understanding of what it really means to have CF. Yes, she's experiencing it, but give the kid a break. All she knows is what she's been told. When I was younger I had someone say something particularly hurtful to me:

"My mom told me I can't be friends with you because you're going to die."

A dumb thing to say? Yes.

A lot of what she's saying is probably not born of her own thoughts on the matter, but rather what she's being "fed" by people older than she is. I'd say just let it go. Don't get competitive, and don't bother trying to explain the differences in the severities and requirements of CF. You'll only be fighting a losing battle.

It's up to each of us how we react to situations. I'm of the opinion that we only have so much energy in the day, and in our lifetimes, so it's probably better to get upset about the things that really matter. As difficult as it may be, let this one go. Spend the energy on taking care of yourself, and not worrying so much about what an uninformed, inexperienced CHILD says.

How your niece's CF is managed is her immediate family's personal business. Reminding her to take enzymes was a little out of your jurisdiction, especially considering that you and she don't have common ground there.

I understand and appreciate you wanting to be some sort of role model or visual aid, but at this point, if all discussion of CF between the two of you only results in your niece being disrespectful, then don't waste your time with that. I think this stuff falls under the category of "You'll understand when you're older." Just let it go for now.

Good luck, and I'm sorry for the ways her words have stung. Learn to let it go, and try to avoid such landmines in the future.

 

[dasjsmum]

This is an eight year old child. You are 29, I'm sure you're old enough and mature enough to laugh off any comments an eight year old might be saying. I think you're taking it all too seriously.

I have an eight year old...sure, he's not walking around reminding people they might die etc., but I dont understand why your family has been so intense about letting such a young child know all the ramifications of cf. Was this necessary? I feel sorry for the poor kid. Why dont you? You're her Aunty.

 

[dasjsmum]

This is an eight year old child. You are 29, I'm sure you're old enough and mature enough to laugh off any comments an eight year old might be saying. I think you're taking it all too seriously.

I have an eight year old...sure, he's not walking around reminding people they might die etc., but I dont understand why your family has been so intense about letting such a young child know all the ramifications of cf. Was this necessary? I feel sorry for the poor kid. Why dont you? You're her Aunty.

 

[dasjsmum]

This is an eight year old child. You are 29, I'm sure you're old enough and mature enough to laugh off any comments an eight year old might be saying. I think you're taking it all too seriously.

I have an eight year old...sure, he's not walking around reminding people they might die etc., but I dont understand why your family has been so intense about letting such a young child know all the ramifications of cf. Was this necessary? I feel sorry for the poor kid. Why dont you? You're her Aunty.

 

[Kelli]

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>dasjsmum</b></i>

This is an eight year old child. You are 29, I'm sure you're old enough and mature enough to laugh off any comments an eight year old might be saying. I think you're taking it all too seriously.



I have an eight year old...sure, he's not walking around reminding people they might die etc., but I dont understand why your family has been so intense about letting such a young child know all the ramifications of cf. Was this necessary? I feel sorry for the poor kid. Why dont you? You're her Aunty.</end quote></div>


It is one thing to feel "sorry for her" however, I'm not going to feel sorry for her because she has CF. That is not how our family deals with CF. We keep moving on.

My niece needs constant reminders about enzymes because she will forget to take them without verbal prompts. So I gave her one. My sister has 4 kids. So things are hectic and I was trying to help out (as I always do when I'm there).
I am not going to let an 8 year old talk to me this way. Sure she probably doesn't understand all aspects of CF, as she shouldn't at her young age. But she was being spiteful and ugly. And I for one am not going to tollerate that from her or anyone else.

It might be one thing if I were at the end stages of CF (and looking death in the face). But I am no where close. I'm 29, 140 lbs, work out 3 to 4 times a week, own a business with my husband, I travel, I volunteer for organizations, I am kind and giving and caring. No one would ever even know I had CF unless I told them, etc. So I'm not going to be badmouthed by a kid who has a chip on her shoulder.
Yes, I am her aunt, that does not mean I am a verbal punching bag for someone who has lacked dicipline.

I will let this go, however, I am not going to go out of my way to help her and be her best friend until she realizes she needs to be kind not only to me but to others. That is common sense and by 8 you think she would know this, as she has been raised this way. I don't feel I need to laugh off anything. She knows better than to speak this way, she was being a brat and she is not fun to be around when she is acting that way intentionally. I'm not going to feed into that kind of behavior.


~Kelli

 

[Kelli]

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>dasjsmum</b></i>

This is an eight year old child. You are 29, I'm sure you're old enough and mature enough to laugh off any comments an eight year old might be saying. I think you're taking it all too seriously.



I have an eight year old...sure, he's not walking around reminding people they might die etc., but I dont understand why your family has been so intense about letting such a young child know all the ramifications of cf. Was this necessary? I feel sorry for the poor kid. Why dont you? You're her Aunty.</end quote></div>


It is one thing to feel "sorry for her" however, I'm not going to feel sorry for her because she has CF. That is not how our family deals with CF. We keep moving on.

My niece needs constant reminders about enzymes because she will forget to take them without verbal prompts. So I gave her one. My sister has 4 kids. So things are hectic and I was trying to help out (as I always do when I'm there).
I am not going to let an 8 year old talk to me this way. Sure she probably doesn't understand all aspects of CF, as she shouldn't at her young age. But she was being spiteful and ugly. And I for one am not going to tollerate that from her or anyone else.

It might be one thing if I were at the end stages of CF (and looking death in the face). But I am no where close. I'm 29, 140 lbs, work out 3 to 4 times a week, own a business with my husband, I travel, I volunteer for organizations, I am kind and giving and caring. No one would ever even know I had CF unless I told them, etc. So I'm not going to be badmouthed by a kid who has a chip on her shoulder.
Yes, I am her aunt, that does not mean I am a verbal punching bag for someone who has lacked dicipline.

I will let this go, however, I am not going to go out of my way to help her and be her best friend until she realizes she needs to be kind not only to me but to others. That is common sense and by 8 you think she would know this, as she has been raised this way. I don't feel I need to laugh off anything. She knows better than to speak this way, she was being a brat and she is not fun to be around when she is acting that way intentionally. I'm not going to feed into that kind of behavior.


~Kelli

 

[Kelli]

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>dasjsmum</b></i>

This is an eight year old child. You are 29, I'm sure you're old enough and mature enough to laugh off any comments an eight year old might be saying. I think you're taking it all too seriously.



I have an eight year old...sure, he's not walking around reminding people they might die etc., but I dont understand why your family has been so intense about letting such a young child know all the ramifications of cf. Was this necessary? I feel sorry for the poor kid. Why dont you? You're her Aunty.</end quote></div>


It is one thing to feel "sorry for her" however, I'm not going to feel sorry for her because she has CF. That is not how our family deals with CF. We keep moving on.

My niece needs constant reminders about enzymes because she will forget to take them without verbal prompts. So I gave her one. My sister has 4 kids. So things are hectic and I was trying to help out (as I always do when I'm there).
I am not going to let an 8 year old talk to me this way. Sure she probably doesn't understand all aspects of CF, as she shouldn't at her young age. But she was being spiteful and ugly. And I for one am not going to tollerate that from her or anyone else.

It might be one thing if I were at the end stages of CF (and looking death in the face). But I am no where close. I'm 29, 140 lbs, work out 3 to 4 times a week, own a business with my husband, I travel, I volunteer for organizations, I am kind and giving and caring. No one would ever even know I had CF unless I told them, etc. So I'm not going to be badmouthed by a kid who has a chip on her shoulder.
Yes, I am her aunt, that does not mean I am a verbal punching bag for someone who has lacked dicipline.

I will let this go, however, I am not going to go out of my way to help her and be her best friend until she realizes she needs to be kind not only to me but to others. That is common sense and by 8 you think she would know this, as she has been raised this way. I don't feel I need to laugh off anything. She knows better than to speak this way, she was being a brat and she is not fun to be around when she is acting that way intentionally. I'm not going to feed into that kind of behavior.


~Kelli

 

[Breezy]

I think that you should def. talk to her about her behaviour. If you don't do it now, she will learn that it is acceptable for her to say these things and that she will get away with it when she does, and it will continue on until she says something to hurt not only you, but others. Don't let this little kid say this stuff. She has to be stopped!!!

 

[Breezy]

I think that you should def. talk to her about her behaviour. If you don't do it now, she will learn that it is acceptable for her to say these things and that she will get away with it when she does, and it will continue on until she says something to hurt not only you, but others. Don't let this little kid say this stuff. She has to be stopped!!!

 

[Breezy]

I think that you should def. talk to her about her behaviour. If you don't do it now, she will learn that it is acceptable for her to say these things and that she will get away with it when she does, and it will continue on until she says something to hurt not only you, but others. Don't let this little kid say this stuff. She has to be stopped!!!

 

[Scarlett81]

Of course this is upsetting-I'd be very upset too.

But I wouldn't over think it. She's 8. All 8 year olds are going to be rude and well, bratty sometimes. She needs discipline. The problem isn't with her, its with her parents. Its their responsibility to correct her and punish her if she speaks in any disrespectful way to an adult like that. U need to talk to your sister.
I'm sure there is some deeper psychological reason related to her illness that she is taking it out on you, but she probably is rude to other people as well. And the reason doesn't really matter, the point is she cant speak to adults like that.
Talk to the mother. If that doesn't go through, correct her yourself in front of everyone when she talks like that. Believe me, she'll be thankful when she grows up that one adult in her life didn't let her get away with crap.

 

[Scarlett81]

Of course this is upsetting-I'd be very upset too.

But I wouldn't over think it. She's 8. All 8 year olds are going to be rude and well, bratty sometimes. She needs discipline. The problem isn't with her, its with her parents. Its their responsibility to correct her and punish her if she speaks in any disrespectful way to an adult like that. U need to talk to your sister.
I'm sure there is some deeper psychological reason related to her illness that she is taking it out on you, but she probably is rude to other people as well. And the reason doesn't really matter, the point is she cant speak to adults like that.
Talk to the mother. If that doesn't go through, correct her yourself in front of everyone when she talks like that. Believe me, she'll be thankful when she grows up that one adult in her life didn't let her get away with crap.

 

[Scarlett81]

Of course this is upsetting-I'd be very upset too.

But I wouldn't over think it. She's 8. All 8 year olds are going to be rude and well, bratty sometimes. She needs discipline. The problem isn't with her, its with her parents. Its their responsibility to correct her and punish her if she speaks in any disrespectful way to an adult like that. U need to talk to your sister.
I'm sure there is some deeper psychological reason related to her illness that she is taking it out on you, but she probably is rude to other people as well. And the reason doesn't really matter, the point is she cant speak to adults like that.
Talk to the mother. If that doesn't go through, correct her yourself in front of everyone when she talks like that. Believe me, she'll be thankful when she grows up that one adult in her life didn't let her get away with crap.

 

[tammykrumrey]

I have a 7 year old and 9 year old who both have CF, and an almost 16 year old nephew with it as well. I cannot imagine my girls saying something like that to or even about my nephew. BUT, my girls will say stuff like that to each other...like if one turns off their vest before the 30 minutes is up. But I think they are just trying to protect each other...in a strange sort of way! But they would never say that type of thing to their cousin. They know that there are things that you just don't say to people, even for attention.

If this was happening to me, I would not have a problem at all addressing the issue with my sister. Her and I are very close, and we are very open to suggestions when it comes to our kids. Although, I would go to my sister first, and ask if it were ok for you to have a heart to heart talk with your neice. Tell your sister how much it hurts to hear these things and that you need to address it with your neice, and with your sister. It is a fact that our children DO repeat what they hear, like someone else also suggested. Maybe your sister doesn't realize what she is saying in the earshot of her little ones, and may be too pre-occupied with that many kiddos to notice what is going on.

 

[tammykrumrey]

I have a 7 year old and 9 year old who both have CF, and an almost 16 year old nephew with it as well. I cannot imagine my girls saying something like that to or even about my nephew. BUT, my girls will say stuff like that to each other...like if one turns off their vest before the 30 minutes is up. But I think they are just trying to protect each other...in a strange sort of way! But they would never say that type of thing to their cousin. They know that there are things that you just don't say to people, even for attention.

If this was happening to me, I would not have a problem at all addressing the issue with my sister. Her and I are very close, and we are very open to suggestions when it comes to our kids. Although, I would go to my sister first, and ask if it were ok for you to have a heart to heart talk with your neice. Tell your sister how much it hurts to hear these things and that you need to address it with your neice, and with your sister. It is a fact that our children DO repeat what they hear, like someone else also suggested. Maybe your sister doesn't realize what she is saying in the earshot of her little ones, and may be too pre-occupied with that many kiddos to notice what is going on.

 

[tammykrumrey]

I have a 7 year old and 9 year old who both have CF, and an almost 16 year old nephew with it as well. I cannot imagine my girls saying something like that to or even about my nephew. BUT, my girls will say stuff like that to each other...like if one turns off their vest before the 30 minutes is up. But I think they are just trying to protect each other...in a strange sort of way! But they would never say that type of thing to their cousin. They know that there are things that you just don't say to people, even for attention.

If this was happening to me, I would not have a problem at all addressing the issue with my sister. Her and I are very close, and we are very open to suggestions when it comes to our kids. Although, I would go to my sister first, and ask if it were ok for you to have a heart to heart talk with your neice. Tell your sister how much it hurts to hear these things and that you need to address it with your neice, and with your sister. It is a fact that our children DO repeat what they hear, like someone else also suggested. Maybe your sister doesn't realize what she is saying in the earshot of her little ones, and may be too pre-occupied with that many kiddos to notice what is going on.