Annoyed, upset

chrissyd · Dec 5, 2008

Just remember; what is meant to be will be. I have CF and have no biological children of my own. A choice I made, the hardest one ever, years ago. I do have a step daughter and she once told me that when things are meant to be; they find a way to be. I think she is right.

I think I can understand your Dr's point of view...I'm not saying I agree or disagree but I saw your post and just wanted to give you my daughters words of wisdom.

<img src="i/expressions/rose.gif" border="0">

chrissyd · Dec 5, 2008

Just remember; what is meant to be will be. I have CF and have no biological children of my own. A choice I made, the hardest one ever, years ago. I do have a step daughter and she once told me that when things are meant to be; they find a way to be. I think she is right.

I think I can understand your Dr's point of view...I'm not saying I agree or disagree but I saw your post and just wanted to give you my daughters words of wisdom.

<img src="i/expressions/rose.gif" border="0">

chrissyd · Dec 5, 2008

Just remember; what is meant to be will be. I have CF and have no biological children of my own. A choice I made, the hardest one ever, years ago. I do have a step daughter and she once told me that when things are meant to be; they find a way to be. I think she is right.

I think I can understand your Dr's point of view...I'm not saying I agree or disagree but I saw your post and just wanted to give you my daughters words of wisdom.

<img src="i/expressions/rose.gif" border="0">

chrissyd · Dec 5, 2008

Just remember; what is meant to be will be. I have CF and have no biological children of my own. A choice I made, the hardest one ever, years ago. I do have a step daughter and she once told me that when things are meant to be; they find a way to be. I think she is right.

I think I can understand your Dr's point of view...I'm not saying I agree or disagree but I saw your post and just wanted to give you my daughters words of wisdom.

<img src="i/expressions/rose.gif" border="0">

chrissyd · Dec 5, 2008

Just remember; what is meant to be will be. I have CF and have no biological children of my own. A choice I made, the hardest one ever, years ago. I do have a step daughter and she once told me that when things are meant to be; they find a way to be. I think she is right.
 
 I think I can understand your Dr's point of view...I'm not saying I agree or disagree but I saw your post and just wanted to give you my daughters words of wisdom.
 
 <img src="i/expressions/rose.gif" border="0">

rubyroselee · Dec 5, 2008

Hi there,

From the looks of your username, it looks like you may be a peds NP. Is that right? If so, good for you! But I can imagine that might be difficult for you having a career like that. Do you get sick often being around kids? I am also an RN(BSN) and I have 2 kids. I work full time and so does my spouse. We used donor sperm to get pregnant with our boys. We had to go see a counselor regarding the use of donor sperm and discuss how we would handle their questions in the future, etc. I do believe it's a good thing that they make sure you know what you're getting into prior to having kids, but at the same time it makes you think that you're not capable of handling things your own way. I can see why this doctor is concerned, but I do agree that it is up to YOU and nobody has the right to dictate your life or tell you what to do. If you want a family, then go for it!

But just keep in mind all future possibilities/questions...
- Will you be able to continue to work full time?
- If not, can you live on a part-time income?
- Who will take care of your kids when you need a break? -Who will take care of them if something happens to you?
- If you try to look for a relationship in the future, how will having a kid with a donor affect that?
- How will you handle the child's questions about the donor in the future?

I do know that this is done quite often in women who have not found "the one", as I know a few, but no one with CF. We have that luxury as women because we have all the equipment to carry a child without the need of a man. I think if you must talk to the ethics people, then just prove to them that you have it all figured out and that you will be a wonderful mother and that this is something natural for you to have. I think it all will work out fine.

Keep us posted.

rubyroselee · Dec 5, 2008

Hi there,

From the looks of your username, it looks like you may be a peds NP. Is that right? If so, good for you! But I can imagine that might be difficult for you having a career like that. Do you get sick often being around kids? I am also an RN(BSN) and I have 2 kids. I work full time and so does my spouse. We used donor sperm to get pregnant with our boys. We had to go see a counselor regarding the use of donor sperm and discuss how we would handle their questions in the future, etc. I do believe it's a good thing that they make sure you know what you're getting into prior to having kids, but at the same time it makes you think that you're not capable of handling things your own way. I can see why this doctor is concerned, but I do agree that it is up to YOU and nobody has the right to dictate your life or tell you what to do. If you want a family, then go for it!

But just keep in mind all future possibilities/questions...
- Will you be able to continue to work full time?
- If not, can you live on a part-time income?
- Who will take care of your kids when you need a break? -Who will take care of them if something happens to you?
- If you try to look for a relationship in the future, how will having a kid with a donor affect that?
- How will you handle the child's questions about the donor in the future?

I do know that this is done quite often in women who have not found "the one", as I know a few, but no one with CF. We have that luxury as women because we have all the equipment to carry a child without the need of a man. I think if you must talk to the ethics people, then just prove to them that you have it all figured out and that you will be a wonderful mother and that this is something natural for you to have. I think it all will work out fine.

Keep us posted.

rubyroselee · Dec 5, 2008

Hi there,

From the looks of your username, it looks like you may be a peds NP. Is that right? If so, good for you! But I can imagine that might be difficult for you having a career like that. Do you get sick often being around kids? I am also an RN(BSN) and I have 2 kids. I work full time and so does my spouse. We used donor sperm to get pregnant with our boys. We had to go see a counselor regarding the use of donor sperm and discuss how we would handle their questions in the future, etc. I do believe it's a good thing that they make sure you know what you're getting into prior to having kids, but at the same time it makes you think that you're not capable of handling things your own way. I can see why this doctor is concerned, but I do agree that it is up to YOU and nobody has the right to dictate your life or tell you what to do. If you want a family, then go for it!

But just keep in mind all future possibilities/questions...
- Will you be able to continue to work full time?
- If not, can you live on a part-time income?
- Who will take care of your kids when you need a break? -Who will take care of them if something happens to you?
- If you try to look for a relationship in the future, how will having a kid with a donor affect that?
- How will you handle the child's questions about the donor in the future?

I do know that this is done quite often in women who have not found "the one", as I know a few, but no one with CF. We have that luxury as women because we have all the equipment to carry a child without the need of a man. I think if you must talk to the ethics people, then just prove to them that you have it all figured out and that you will be a wonderful mother and that this is something natural for you to have. I think it all will work out fine.

Keep us posted.

rubyroselee · Dec 5, 2008

Hi there,

From the looks of your username, it looks like you may be a peds NP. Is that right? If so, good for you! But I can imagine that might be difficult for you having a career like that. Do you get sick often being around kids? I am also an RN(BSN) and I have 2 kids. I work full time and so does my spouse. We used donor sperm to get pregnant with our boys. We had to go see a counselor regarding the use of donor sperm and discuss how we would handle their questions in the future, etc. I do believe it's a good thing that they make sure you know what you're getting into prior to having kids, but at the same time it makes you think that you're not capable of handling things your own way. I can see why this doctor is concerned, but I do agree that it is up to YOU and nobody has the right to dictate your life or tell you what to do. If you want a family, then go for it!

But just keep in mind all future possibilities/questions...
- Will you be able to continue to work full time?
- If not, can you live on a part-time income?
- Who will take care of your kids when you need a break? -Who will take care of them if something happens to you?
- If you try to look for a relationship in the future, how will having a kid with a donor affect that?
- How will you handle the child's questions about the donor in the future?

I do know that this is done quite often in women who have not found "the one", as I know a few, but no one with CF. We have that luxury as women because we have all the equipment to carry a child without the need of a man. I think if you must talk to the ethics people, then just prove to them that you have it all figured out and that you will be a wonderful mother and that this is something natural for you to have. I think it all will work out fine.

Keep us posted.

rubyroselee · Dec 5, 2008

Hi there,
 
 From the looks of your username, it looks like you may be a peds NP. Is that right? If so, good for you! But I can imagine that might be difficult for you having a career like that. Do you get sick often being around kids? I am also an RN(BSN) and I have 2 kids. I work full time and so does my spouse. We used donor sperm to get pregnant with our boys. We had to go see a counselor regarding the use of donor sperm and discuss how we would handle their questions in the future, etc. I do believe it's a good thing that they make sure you know what you're getting into prior to having kids, but at the same time it makes you think that you're not capable of handling things your own way. I can see why this doctor is concerned, but I do agree that it is up to YOU and nobody has the right to dictate your life or tell you what to do. If you want a family, then go for it!
 
 But just keep in mind all future possibilities/questions...
 - Will you be able to continue to work full time?
 - If not, can you live on a part-time income?
 - Who will take care of your kids when you need a break? -Who will take care of them if something happens to you?
 - If you try to look for a relationship in the future, how will having a kid with a donor affect that?
 - How will you handle the child's questions about the donor in the future?
 
 I do know that this is done quite often in women who have not found "the one", as I know a few, but no one with CF. We have that luxury as women because we have all the equipment to carry a child without the need of a man. I think if you must talk to the ethics people, then just prove to them that you have it all figured out and that you will be a wonderful mother and that this is something natural for you to have. I think it all will work out fine.
 
 Keep us posted.

LouLou · Dec 5, 2008

Was he originally fine with IUI for you? Is it the addition of Clomid that he questions ethical? If so, this all makes sense since Clomid raises the chance of multiples. Many do not believe it a good health decision for cf mom's to have multiples. In fact, I conceived naturally and in pre-conception when talking to my cf doc getting him on board and getting his advice about pregnancy, motherhood, etc he told me he would not support me in an multiples that as his patient I would need to reduce to one. I have an FEV1 of 67% and he could not ethically support me in having and raising more than one (at a time). I refused to talk about it since I have no family history of mults and I wasn't interested in assistive repro for this very reason. Of course I was relieved I only had one heartbeat so we never had to discuss this again. Just thought I'd share. I recently learned a friend of mine who is doing IUIs and now possibly IVF's doc doesn't allow reduction so there you go maybe you doc is like this and sees a BIG conflict of interest. I mean really what a negative headline for him that could be, in fact, I could see it making national news "Doc impregnants single mother with cf with quads...won't let her reduce" Interesting post...thanks for sharing.

LouLou · Dec 5, 2008

Was he originally fine with IUI for you? Is it the addition of Clomid that he questions ethical? If so, this all makes sense since Clomid raises the chance of multiples. Many do not believe it a good health decision for cf mom's to have multiples. In fact, I conceived naturally and in pre-conception when talking to my cf doc getting him on board and getting his advice about pregnancy, motherhood, etc he told me he would not support me in an multiples that as his patient I would need to reduce to one. I have an FEV1 of 67% and he could not ethically support me in having and raising more than one (at a time). I refused to talk about it since I have no family history of mults and I wasn't interested in assistive repro for this very reason. Of course I was relieved I only had one heartbeat so we never had to discuss this again. Just thought I'd share. I recently learned a friend of mine who is doing IUIs and now possibly IVF's doc doesn't allow reduction so there you go maybe you doc is like this and sees a BIG conflict of interest. I mean really what a negative headline for him that could be, in fact, I could see it making national news "Doc impregnants single mother with cf with quads...won't let her reduce" Interesting post...thanks for sharing.

LouLou · Dec 5, 2008

Was he originally fine with IUI for you? Is it the addition of Clomid that he questions ethical? If so, this all makes sense since Clomid raises the chance of multiples. Many do not believe it a good health decision for cf mom's to have multiples. In fact, I conceived naturally and in pre-conception when talking to my cf doc getting him on board and getting his advice about pregnancy, motherhood, etc he told me he would not support me in an multiples that as his patient I would need to reduce to one. I have an FEV1 of 67% and he could not ethically support me in having and raising more than one (at a time). I refused to talk about it since I have no family history of mults and I wasn't interested in assistive repro for this very reason. Of course I was relieved I only had one heartbeat so we never had to discuss this again. Just thought I'd share. I recently learned a friend of mine who is doing IUIs and now possibly IVF's doc doesn't allow reduction so there you go maybe you doc is like this and sees a BIG conflict of interest. I mean really what a negative headline for him that could be, in fact, I could see it making national news "Doc impregnants single mother with cf with quads...won't let her reduce" Interesting post...thanks for sharing.

LouLou · Dec 5, 2008

Was he originally fine with IUI for you? Is it the addition of Clomid that he questions ethical? If so, this all makes sense since Clomid raises the chance of multiples. Many do not believe it a good health decision for cf mom's to have multiples. In fact, I conceived naturally and in pre-conception when talking to my cf doc getting him on board and getting his advice about pregnancy, motherhood, etc he told me he would not support me in an multiples that as his patient I would need to reduce to one. I have an FEV1 of 67% and he could not ethically support me in having and raising more than one (at a time). I refused to talk about it since I have no family history of mults and I wasn't interested in assistive repro for this very reason. Of course I was relieved I only had one heartbeat so we never had to discuss this again. Just thought I'd share. I recently learned a friend of mine who is doing IUIs and now possibly IVF's doc doesn't allow reduction so there you go maybe you doc is like this and sees a BIG conflict of interest. I mean really what a negative headline for him that could be, in fact, I could see it making national news "Doc impregnants single mother with cf with quads...won't let her reduce" Interesting post...thanks for sharing.

LouLou · Dec 5, 2008

Was he originally fine with IUI for you? Is it the addition of Clomid that he questions ethical? If so, this all makes sense since Clomid raises the chance of multiples. Many do not believe it a good health decision for cf mom's to have multiples. In fact, I conceived naturally and in pre-conception when talking to my cf doc getting him on board and getting his advice about pregnancy, motherhood, etc he told me he would not support me in an multiples that as his patient I would need to reduce to one. I have an FEV1 of 67% and he could not ethically support me in having and raising more than one (at a time). I refused to talk about it since I have no family history of mults and I wasn't interested in assistive repro for this very reason. Of course I was relieved I only had one heartbeat so we never had to discuss this again. Just thought I'd share. I recently learned a friend of mine who is doing IUIs and now possibly IVF's doc doesn't allow reduction so there you go maybe you doc is like this and sees a BIG conflict of interest. I mean really what a negative headline for him that could be, in fact, I could see it making national news "Doc impregnants single mother with cf with quads...won't let her reduce" Interesting post...thanks for sharing.

Lamp · Dec 5, 2008

hey Leah,
I saw your reply on jennifers post and was curious...how come you did donor sperm? Was your husband a carrier? Were TTC right now and getting back into the IUI cycles. (we've already done 3 and for some reason didn't take) My husband has like 10 million sperms per shot and none of them could figure it out!! lol Our RE said he could have really healthy looking sperm and they just don't fertilize. No one knows why. Now I'm not saying thats our problem, frankly I think I may have blocked tubes, we'll see once I have the HSG. But just wondering with so many variables out there, what made you guys decided to go that route. Hope its ok to ask you this!
Have a good weekend!
Laura McPeak

Lamp · Dec 5, 2008

hey Leah,
I saw your reply on jennifers post and was curious...how come you did donor sperm? Was your husband a carrier? Were TTC right now and getting back into the IUI cycles. (we've already done 3 and for some reason didn't take) My husband has like 10 million sperms per shot and none of them could figure it out!! lol Our RE said he could have really healthy looking sperm and they just don't fertilize. No one knows why. Now I'm not saying thats our problem, frankly I think I may have blocked tubes, we'll see once I have the HSG. But just wondering with so many variables out there, what made you guys decided to go that route. Hope its ok to ask you this!
Have a good weekend!
Laura McPeak

Lamp · Dec 5, 2008

hey Leah,
I saw your reply on jennifers post and was curious...how come you did donor sperm? Was your husband a carrier? Were TTC right now and getting back into the IUI cycles. (we've already done 3 and for some reason didn't take) My husband has like 10 million sperms per shot and none of them could figure it out!! lol Our RE said he could have really healthy looking sperm and they just don't fertilize. No one knows why. Now I'm not saying thats our problem, frankly I think I may have blocked tubes, we'll see once I have the HSG. But just wondering with so many variables out there, what made you guys decided to go that route. Hope its ok to ask you this!
Have a good weekend!
Laura McPeak

Lamp · Dec 5, 2008

hey Leah,
I saw your reply on jennifers post and was curious...how come you did donor sperm? Was your husband a carrier? Were TTC right now and getting back into the IUI cycles. (we've already done 3 and for some reason didn't take) My husband has like 10 million sperms per shot and none of them could figure it out!! lol Our RE said he could have really healthy looking sperm and they just don't fertilize. No one knows why. Now I'm not saying thats our problem, frankly I think I may have blocked tubes, we'll see once I have the HSG. But just wondering with so many variables out there, what made you guys decided to go that route. Hope its ok to ask you this!
Have a good weekend!
Laura McPeak

Lamp · Dec 5, 2008

hey Leah,
 I saw your reply on jennifers post and was curious...how come you did donor sperm? Was your husband a carrier? Were TTC right now and getting back into the IUI cycles. (we've already done 3 and for some reason didn't take) My husband has like 10 million sperms per shot and none of them could figure it out!! lol Our RE said he could have really healthy looking sperm and they just don't fertilize. No one knows why. Now I'm not saying thats our problem, frankly I think I may have blocked tubes, we'll see once I have the HSG. But just wondering with so many variables out there, what made you guys decided to go that route. Hope its ok to ask you this!
 Have a good weekend!
 Laura McPeak

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