Amy (Bittyhorse), you sound like me - I did a good cover up job too - no one knew what was really going on, inside. I actually attempted once. and got close a second time.
I think this is part of the cycle - we appear as though we are functioning, so they don't take our requests on the subject urgently. I've even been treated as though I'm "over-reacting" instead of seeing it as how desparate for help I was. (rolling eyes) I finally had to say to my doctor "look, this HAS to be addressed, NOW" ...and that's when the sent the psych. At one point my stupid nurse even said "you are with someone wonderful, why are you depressed?" (way before hubby, btw) - As if circumstances had ANYTHING to do with true depression. Some people JUST DON'T GET IT.
This all proves my point about speaking out and not hiding it. We cover up so well, how are they to know things are as bad as they are, unless we tell them?
Maelstrom -
I understand all the issues and problems you are facing. You are well informed. You are doing your best to help. That's all one can do.
I don't blame him for not wanting to try therapy again. I felt the exact same way "they can't change how I feel - it is what it is" and "I'm tired of talking about it" ...especially if it money out of pocket. Although as a couple, it's more a team effort and less pressure on him alone ???
Since he is still willing to take a/d's, I would suggest that he try another, and keep trying until he finds one that seems to be working.
The right a/d helps us "cope" better, helps our brain fire better, which in turn helps us manage life better, and in a healthier way. When our minds are coping better, we are more able to handle the extra tasks, like therapy, or breathing treatments...and not feel so overwhelmed on a daily basis.
If he's not willing or able to go to therapy right now, at least he could be helped by some meds for the time being? Mind you, it takes a good 6 weeks to reach the full effect of any of them.
It does takes trial and error, and time...but...worth it.
On a personal note:
Prozac has been the one for me that has worked above and beyond all the others. A lot of dr's don't want to rx it, because it's considered "old medicine", but again, it worked for me. Another plus for me is that Prozac has a longer half-life. With the newer meds, I'd get utterly nautious if I missed my daily dose by a few hours. Prozac doesn't do that.
(I tried lexapro, paxil, and a few others I forget)
Once on a good med, he might be more willing to try a councelor of some type. Remember - they are just people with different methods. It can take a while to find someone that "fits". Maybe you can help him understand that part, and he'd be more willing to "try"....but again...I would try to get him stable on a med first.
That's my opinion, and I'm not a dr (disclaimer)
Again, best wishes <img src="i/expressions/heart.gif" border="0">
I think this is part of the cycle - we appear as though we are functioning, so they don't take our requests on the subject urgently. I've even been treated as though I'm "over-reacting" instead of seeing it as how desparate for help I was. (rolling eyes) I finally had to say to my doctor "look, this HAS to be addressed, NOW" ...and that's when the sent the psych. At one point my stupid nurse even said "you are with someone wonderful, why are you depressed?" (way before hubby, btw) - As if circumstances had ANYTHING to do with true depression. Some people JUST DON'T GET IT.
This all proves my point about speaking out and not hiding it. We cover up so well, how are they to know things are as bad as they are, unless we tell them?
Maelstrom -
I understand all the issues and problems you are facing. You are well informed. You are doing your best to help. That's all one can do.
I don't blame him for not wanting to try therapy again. I felt the exact same way "they can't change how I feel - it is what it is" and "I'm tired of talking about it" ...especially if it money out of pocket. Although as a couple, it's more a team effort and less pressure on him alone ???
Since he is still willing to take a/d's, I would suggest that he try another, and keep trying until he finds one that seems to be working.
The right a/d helps us "cope" better, helps our brain fire better, which in turn helps us manage life better, and in a healthier way. When our minds are coping better, we are more able to handle the extra tasks, like therapy, or breathing treatments...and not feel so overwhelmed on a daily basis.
If he's not willing or able to go to therapy right now, at least he could be helped by some meds for the time being? Mind you, it takes a good 6 weeks to reach the full effect of any of them.
It does takes trial and error, and time...but...worth it.
On a personal note:
Prozac has been the one for me that has worked above and beyond all the others. A lot of dr's don't want to rx it, because it's considered "old medicine", but again, it worked for me. Another plus for me is that Prozac has a longer half-life. With the newer meds, I'd get utterly nautious if I missed my daily dose by a few hours. Prozac doesn't do that.
(I tried lexapro, paxil, and a few others I forget)
Once on a good med, he might be more willing to try a councelor of some type. Remember - they are just people with different methods. It can take a while to find someone that "fits". Maybe you can help him understand that part, and he'd be more willing to "try"....but again...I would try to get him stable on a med first.
That's my opinion, and I'm not a dr (disclaimer)
Again, best wishes <img src="i/expressions/heart.gif" border="0">