Hi Maggie,
I don't have any life-changing advice for you or anything (wish I did!), but I did want you to know that you're not alone in feeling overwhelmed and a little lost with this disease. Just to be honest up front, I don't have depression, and I can't even begin to claim that I understand how tough that must be to deal with on a daily basis. That said, I do have CF, and I completely know how you feel when you say that sometimes you just seem to "crash." (I think most of us on this board can relate to that.)
When asked about it by friends and family, I have always compared CF to treading water in the ocean. It's possible to stay afloat, and there are times when you might actually feel like you're doing alright, but ultimately it's exhausting and sometimes really hard to see yourself going anywhere. There's always the chance that even though your head is above water right now, some wave might come out of nowhere to knock you down. The water is cold, it's really really deep, and there are all sorts of scary creatures lurking just below the surface. In short, CF can be terrifying and draining, both emotionally and physically. When you're constantly fighting to stay above the water, you're bound to have a little difficulty focusing on some of the other important things in life.
That said, again like treading water, living with CF invariably makes you a stronger person, and it also makes you pretty darn brave. It takes a huge amount of guts to post a personal problem and ask for help like you did, for example. You also can't tread water for too long before you realize that even little vitories can be huge triumphs, so I think you should be pretty proud of yourself for that.
Ultimately I would say you should listen to the advice of other people on this board who have lived with CF/depression and know how to deal with it. I just wanted to echo a sentiment I've seen on this board a lot lately, which is that you're stronger than you think, and you definitely have it in you to stay afloat through this wave as well. I know, I know, it's kind of corny, but I've seen enough tough-as-nails CFers to know that it's true.
