Hey Cody,
I was a lot like you for several years. Once my hospitalizations starting picking up and my health was going down, I started to become more and more depressed. I didn't really even tell anyone about it for years, until it had gotten to be almost too late. I was put on an antidepressant and while some people will argue that drugs are not the way to solve it, I tend to disagree, at least for myself.
I look at the meds as a way to somewhat balance the crazy thoughts my mind has so I can be able to talk and make sense about them. Without the drug, my mind was really crazy; I'd describe it as an interstate with no speed limit, no lanes, no set direction. Once I started taking the meds, I was able to focus more and actually start to figure out what was going on in my life.
I can't say they're for everyone, but having something to help me focus my thoughts really helped. I also turned to writing and whenever I have a particularly bad day, I will write it out, only replacing myself and the people around me with characters, and I write the ending I want. It seems to help, too.
Good luck, Cody, and I hope you find your solution soon.