co-sleeping issues

[Scarlett81]

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>bonniebaby</b></i>


she feels music and white noise make it difficult for you to sleep away from home since you can't always reproduce that environment.

</end quote></div>

thats a good point, I've never thought of that. I may want to discontinue the fan use as baby gets older.

I agree with shannon that this conversation is going well and mature. I think its important to remember that just the fact that we are here talking about our children, parenting, and finding solutions for our kids makes us good parents in the first place.

Most of our mothers did cry it out. And most of them weren't 'evil' or cold hearted. They did what they felt they had to do. My SIL, and MIL do cry it out at 6 months with their kids. My MIL had 8 kids-she's a great mom. But we differ on this.

My definition of cry it out is letting a baby cry till they fall asleep, most specifically in another room, alone, and letting baby alone till it sleeps. I don't like that. But, I was more or less stressing that before a certain age it could actually be dangerous. I based my opinion more on safety reasons even than emotional, though emotional is still important to me. I think letting a baby do this too young could be detrimental to health. Babies can work themselves into frenzies.

I think SO much of this also depends on the child. My SIL's first daughter responded well to crying it out. At 1 yr-she'd cry for 10 minutes, then get the point and go to sleep fine. The 2nd baby at 1 yr worked herself into such a frenzy, and became so stressed out that she associated nighttime with nothing but stress. Everytime mom and dad said 'bedtime girls', she'd start crying right away, before they were even in their pjs. They had to adjust this with her and she's fine now.

Sleep is very important to us cfers. I agree on that. As a family, you need to do what you have to. I wanted to do exclusive bf and was rigid on that, but a little formula or cereal before bed helps my baby to sleep longer so thats what I do when I have to.

I really think this is all so individual to each family. I know Lauren's Isaac sleeps amazingly, and sleeps about 12 hrs. She was telling me one day how he goes to sleep pretty early. My baby goes to sleep about 10:30 and wakes around 9. Talking to Lauren moved me to try to get her asleep earlier, so I tried doing this for a week or two. It just made her cranky, and wake more at night and get up earlier. I finally thought-you know, this schedule is working for me, I get 9 hrs of sleep at night...I'll keep it the way I had it. Whatever works for your lifestyle.

 

[Scarlett81]

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>bonniebaby</b></i>


she feels music and white noise make it difficult for you to sleep away from home since you can't always reproduce that environment.

</end quote></div>

thats a good point, I've never thought of that. I may want to discontinue the fan use as baby gets older.

I agree with shannon that this conversation is going well and mature. I think its important to remember that just the fact that we are here talking about our children, parenting, and finding solutions for our kids makes us good parents in the first place.

Most of our mothers did cry it out. And most of them weren't 'evil' or cold hearted. They did what they felt they had to do. My SIL, and MIL do cry it out at 6 months with their kids. My MIL had 8 kids-she's a great mom. But we differ on this.

My definition of cry it out is letting a baby cry till they fall asleep, most specifically in another room, alone, and letting baby alone till it sleeps. I don't like that. But, I was more or less stressing that before a certain age it could actually be dangerous. I based my opinion more on safety reasons even than emotional, though emotional is still important to me. I think letting a baby do this too young could be detrimental to health. Babies can work themselves into frenzies.

I think SO much of this also depends on the child. My SIL's first daughter responded well to crying it out. At 1 yr-she'd cry for 10 minutes, then get the point and go to sleep fine. The 2nd baby at 1 yr worked herself into such a frenzy, and became so stressed out that she associated nighttime with nothing but stress. Everytime mom and dad said 'bedtime girls', she'd start crying right away, before they were even in their pjs. They had to adjust this with her and she's fine now.

Sleep is very important to us cfers. I agree on that. As a family, you need to do what you have to. I wanted to do exclusive bf and was rigid on that, but a little formula or cereal before bed helps my baby to sleep longer so thats what I do when I have to.

I really think this is all so individual to each family. I know Lauren's Isaac sleeps amazingly, and sleeps about 12 hrs. She was telling me one day how he goes to sleep pretty early. My baby goes to sleep about 10:30 and wakes around 9. Talking to Lauren moved me to try to get her asleep earlier, so I tried doing this for a week or two. It just made her cranky, and wake more at night and get up earlier. I finally thought-you know, this schedule is working for me, I get 9 hrs of sleep at night...I'll keep it the way I had it. Whatever works for your lifestyle.

 

[Scarlett81]

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>bonniebaby</b></i>


she feels music and white noise make it difficult for you to sleep away from home since you can't always reproduce that environment.

</end quote></div>

thats a good point, I've never thought of that. I may want to discontinue the fan use as baby gets older.

I agree with shannon that this conversation is going well and mature. I think its important to remember that just the fact that we are here talking about our children, parenting, and finding solutions for our kids makes us good parents in the first place.

Most of our mothers did cry it out. And most of them weren't 'evil' or cold hearted. They did what they felt they had to do. My SIL, and MIL do cry it out at 6 months with their kids. My MIL had 8 kids-she's a great mom. But we differ on this.

My definition of cry it out is letting a baby cry till they fall asleep, most specifically in another room, alone, and letting baby alone till it sleeps. I don't like that. But, I was more or less stressing that before a certain age it could actually be dangerous. I based my opinion more on safety reasons even than emotional, though emotional is still important to me. I think letting a baby do this too young could be detrimental to health. Babies can work themselves into frenzies.

I think SO much of this also depends on the child. My SIL's first daughter responded well to crying it out. At 1 yr-she'd cry for 10 minutes, then get the point and go to sleep fine. The 2nd baby at 1 yr worked herself into such a frenzy, and became so stressed out that she associated nighttime with nothing but stress. Everytime mom and dad said 'bedtime girls', she'd start crying right away, before they were even in their pjs. They had to adjust this with her and she's fine now.

Sleep is very important to us cfers. I agree on that. As a family, you need to do what you have to. I wanted to do exclusive bf and was rigid on that, but a little formula or cereal before bed helps my baby to sleep longer so thats what I do when I have to.

I really think this is all so individual to each family. I know Lauren's Isaac sleeps amazingly, and sleeps about 12 hrs. She was telling me one day how he goes to sleep pretty early. My baby goes to sleep about 10:30 and wakes around 9. Talking to Lauren moved me to try to get her asleep earlier, so I tried doing this for a week or two. It just made her cranky, and wake more at night and get up earlier. I finally thought-you know, this schedule is working for me, I get 9 hrs of sleep at night...I'll keep it the way I had it. Whatever works for your lifestyle.

 

[Scarlett81]

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>bonniebaby</b></i>


she feels music and white noise make it difficult for you to sleep away from home since you can't always reproduce that environment.

</end quote>

thats a good point, I've never thought of that. I may want to discontinue the fan use as baby gets older.

I agree with shannon that this conversation is going well and mature. I think its important to remember that just the fact that we are here talking about our children, parenting, and finding solutions for our kids makes us good parents in the first place.

Most of our mothers did cry it out. And most of them weren't 'evil' or cold hearted. They did what they felt they had to do. My SIL, and MIL do cry it out at 6 months with their kids. My MIL had 8 kids-she's a great mom. But we differ on this.

My definition of cry it out is letting a baby cry till they fall asleep, most specifically in another room, alone, and letting baby alone till it sleeps. I don't like that. But, I was more or less stressing that before a certain age it could actually be dangerous. I based my opinion more on safety reasons even than emotional, though emotional is still important to me. I think letting a baby do this too young could be detrimental to health. Babies can work themselves into frenzies.

I think SO much of this also depends on the child. My SIL's first daughter responded well to crying it out. At 1 yr-she'd cry for 10 minutes, then get the point and go to sleep fine. The 2nd baby at 1 yr worked herself into such a frenzy, and became so stressed out that she associated nighttime with nothing but stress. Everytime mom and dad said 'bedtime girls', she'd start crying right away, before they were even in their pjs. They had to adjust this with her and she's fine now.

Sleep is very important to us cfers. I agree on that. As a family, you need to do what you have to. I wanted to do exclusive bf and was rigid on that, but a little formula or cereal before bed helps my baby to sleep longer so thats what I do when I have to.

I really think this is all so individual to each family. I know Lauren's Isaac sleeps amazingly, and sleeps about 12 hrs. She was telling me one day how he goes to sleep pretty early. My baby goes to sleep about 10:30 and wakes around 9. Talking to Lauren moved me to try to get her asleep earlier, so I tried doing this for a week or two. It just made her cranky, and wake more at night and get up earlier. I finally thought-you know, this schedule is working for me, I get 9 hrs of sleep at night...I'll keep it the way I had it. Whatever works for your lifestyle.

 

[Scarlett81]

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>bonniebaby</b></i>


she feels music and white noise make it difficult for you to sleep away from home since you can't always reproduce that environment.

</end quote>

thats a good point, I've never thought of that. I may want to discontinue the fan use as baby gets older.

I agree with shannon that this conversation is going well and mature. I think its important to remember that just the fact that we are here talking about our children, parenting, and finding solutions for our kids makes us good parents in the first place.

Most of our mothers did cry it out. And most of them weren't 'evil' or cold hearted. They did what they felt they had to do. My SIL, and MIL do cry it out at 6 months with their kids. My MIL had 8 kids-she's a great mom. But we differ on this.

My definition of cry it out is letting a baby cry till they fall asleep, most specifically in another room, alone, and letting baby alone till it sleeps. I don't like that. But, I was more or less stressing that before a certain age it could actually be dangerous. I based my opinion more on safety reasons even than emotional, though emotional is still important to me. I think letting a baby do this too young could be detrimental to health. Babies can work themselves into frenzies.

I think SO much of this also depends on the child. My SIL's first daughter responded well to crying it out. At 1 yr-she'd cry for 10 minutes, then get the point and go to sleep fine. The 2nd baby at 1 yr worked herself into such a frenzy, and became so stressed out that she associated nighttime with nothing but stress. Everytime mom and dad said 'bedtime girls', she'd start crying right away, before they were even in their pjs. They had to adjust this with her and she's fine now.

Sleep is very important to us cfers. I agree on that. As a family, you need to do what you have to. I wanted to do exclusive bf and was rigid on that, but a little formula or cereal before bed helps my baby to sleep longer so thats what I do when I have to.

I really think this is all so individual to each family. I know Lauren's Isaac sleeps amazingly, and sleeps about 12 hrs. She was telling me one day how he goes to sleep pretty early. My baby goes to sleep about 10:30 and wakes around 9. Talking to Lauren moved me to try to get her asleep earlier, so I tried doing this for a week or two. It just made her cranky, and wake more at night and get up earlier. I finally thought-you know, this schedule is working for me, I get 9 hrs of sleep at night...I'll keep it the way I had it. Whatever works for your lifestyle.

 

[Keepercjr]

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>Scarlett81</b></i>

I finally thought-you know, this schedule is working for me, I get 9 hrs of sleep at night...I'll keep it the way I had it. Whatever works for your lifestyle.</end quote></div>

I really believe you need to do what works for you, not just what society says we should be doing. If it is partial cosleepnig, full cosleeping, or having baby alone in another room. For us the solution to more sleep for all of us, including me, is having Logan in bed with us. I get good sleep each night and so do Logan and DH. I would say I actually slept better when he was a small infant for some reason. Maybe he tired me out better so I got good sound sleep at night. I also napped with him. I get about 9-10 hours a night.

Within the last week Logan appears to have given up naps - but when he was napping he would get up around 9, nap around 2 for 2-3 hours and then go to bed between 10 and 11. Now that he isn't napping he goes to sleep between 8 and 9 and sleeps till 9 the next morning. I never forced a schedule on him, he just fell into his own patterns. For him, bedtime is a happy time. He sleeps great anywhere as long as I'm there with him. I didn't "do" anything to cause his good sleep habits - just provided a loving and secure environment for him to grow and mature. He is a <i>very </i>intense child and I know he would not respond well at all to any kind of forced separation or CIO. Looking back I see how different he is/was from other children (his cousins aren't nearly as intense as he is) and I realize how high needs he is but for us it was just the way it was and I don't see it as difficult at all. I would have gotten way less sleep had I tried to go against what my instincts were telling me (that he needs to be close to me - day and night). If I had tried to force the issue I would have gotten way less sleep and been under way more stress. Maybe my next child will have a more mild personality - who knows.

Oh one last thing - my mom never believed in CIO for my brother and I even though the pediatrician said for her to just put me in my crib and shut the door till morning - and I am thankful for that. But I don't believe parents who do CIO are bad parents, just that they have made the wrong choice (in my eyes). I don't agree with every parenting decision my parents made while raising me but I still think they were great parents and did most things right.

 

[Keepercjr]

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>Scarlett81</b></i>

I finally thought-you know, this schedule is working for me, I get 9 hrs of sleep at night...I'll keep it the way I had it. Whatever works for your lifestyle.</end quote></div>

I really believe you need to do what works for you, not just what society says we should be doing. If it is partial cosleepnig, full cosleeping, or having baby alone in another room. For us the solution to more sleep for all of us, including me, is having Logan in bed with us. I get good sleep each night and so do Logan and DH. I would say I actually slept better when he was a small infant for some reason. Maybe he tired me out better so I got good sound sleep at night. I also napped with him. I get about 9-10 hours a night.

Within the last week Logan appears to have given up naps - but when he was napping he would get up around 9, nap around 2 for 2-3 hours and then go to bed between 10 and 11. Now that he isn't napping he goes to sleep between 8 and 9 and sleeps till 9 the next morning. I never forced a schedule on him, he just fell into his own patterns. For him, bedtime is a happy time. He sleeps great anywhere as long as I'm there with him. I didn't "do" anything to cause his good sleep habits - just provided a loving and secure environment for him to grow and mature. He is a <i>very </i>intense child and I know he would not respond well at all to any kind of forced separation or CIO. Looking back I see how different he is/was from other children (his cousins aren't nearly as intense as he is) and I realize how high needs he is but for us it was just the way it was and I don't see it as difficult at all. I would have gotten way less sleep had I tried to go against what my instincts were telling me (that he needs to be close to me - day and night). If I had tried to force the issue I would have gotten way less sleep and been under way more stress. Maybe my next child will have a more mild personality - who knows.

Oh one last thing - my mom never believed in CIO for my brother and I even though the pediatrician said for her to just put me in my crib and shut the door till morning - and I am thankful for that. But I don't believe parents who do CIO are bad parents, just that they have made the wrong choice (in my eyes). I don't agree with every parenting decision my parents made while raising me but I still think they were great parents and did most things right.

 

[Keepercjr]

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>Scarlett81</b></i>

I finally thought-you know, this schedule is working for me, I get 9 hrs of sleep at night...I'll keep it the way I had it. Whatever works for your lifestyle.</end quote></div>

I really believe you need to do what works for you, not just what society says we should be doing. If it is partial cosleepnig, full cosleeping, or having baby alone in another room. For us the solution to more sleep for all of us, including me, is having Logan in bed with us. I get good sleep each night and so do Logan and DH. I would say I actually slept better when he was a small infant for some reason. Maybe he tired me out better so I got good sound sleep at night. I also napped with him. I get about 9-10 hours a night.

Within the last week Logan appears to have given up naps - but when he was napping he would get up around 9, nap around 2 for 2-3 hours and then go to bed between 10 and 11. Now that he isn't napping he goes to sleep between 8 and 9 and sleeps till 9 the next morning. I never forced a schedule on him, he just fell into his own patterns. For him, bedtime is a happy time. He sleeps great anywhere as long as I'm there with him. I didn't "do" anything to cause his good sleep habits - just provided a loving and secure environment for him to grow and mature. He is a <i>very </i>intense child and I know he would not respond well at all to any kind of forced separation or CIO. Looking back I see how different he is/was from other children (his cousins aren't nearly as intense as he is) and I realize how high needs he is but for us it was just the way it was and I don't see it as difficult at all. I would have gotten way less sleep had I tried to go against what my instincts were telling me (that he needs to be close to me - day and night). If I had tried to force the issue I would have gotten way less sleep and been under way more stress. Maybe my next child will have a more mild personality - who knows.

Oh one last thing - my mom never believed in CIO for my brother and I even though the pediatrician said for her to just put me in my crib and shut the door till morning - and I am thankful for that. But I don't believe parents who do CIO are bad parents, just that they have made the wrong choice (in my eyes). I don't agree with every parenting decision my parents made while raising me but I still think they were great parents and did most things right.

 

[Keepercjr]

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>Scarlett81</b></i>

I finally thought-you know, this schedule is working for me, I get 9 hrs of sleep at night...I'll keep it the way I had it. Whatever works for your lifestyle.</end quote>

I really believe you need to do what works for you, not just what society says we should be doing. If it is partial cosleepnig, full cosleeping, or having baby alone in another room. For us the solution to more sleep for all of us, including me, is having Logan in bed with us. I get good sleep each night and so do Logan and DH. I would say I actually slept better when he was a small infant for some reason. Maybe he tired me out better so I got good sound sleep at night. I also napped with him. I get about 9-10 hours a night.

Within the last week Logan appears to have given up naps - but when he was napping he would get up around 9, nap around 2 for 2-3 hours and then go to bed between 10 and 11. Now that he isn't napping he goes to sleep between 8 and 9 and sleeps till 9 the next morning. I never forced a schedule on him, he just fell into his own patterns. For him, bedtime is a happy time. He sleeps great anywhere as long as I'm there with him. I didn't "do" anything to cause his good sleep habits - just provided a loving and secure environment for him to grow and mature. He is a <i>very </i>intense child and I know he would not respond well at all to any kind of forced separation or CIO. Looking back I see how different he is/was from other children (his cousins aren't nearly as intense as he is) and I realize how high needs he is but for us it was just the way it was and I don't see it as difficult at all. I would have gotten way less sleep had I tried to go against what my instincts were telling me (that he needs to be close to me - day and night). If I had tried to force the issue I would have gotten way less sleep and been under way more stress. Maybe my next child will have a more mild personality - who knows.

Oh one last thing - my mom never believed in CIO for my brother and I even though the pediatrician said for her to just put me in my crib and shut the door till morning - and I am thankful for that. But I don't believe parents who do CIO are bad parents, just that they have made the wrong choice (in my eyes). I don't agree with every parenting decision my parents made while raising me but I still think they were great parents and did most things right.

 

[Keepercjr]

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>Scarlett81</b></i>

I finally thought-you know, this schedule is working for me, I get 9 hrs of sleep at night...I'll keep it the way I had it. Whatever works for your lifestyle.</end quote>

I really believe you need to do what works for you, not just what society says we should be doing. If it is partial cosleepnig, full cosleeping, or having baby alone in another room. For us the solution to more sleep for all of us, including me, is having Logan in bed with us. I get good sleep each night and so do Logan and DH. I would say I actually slept better when he was a small infant for some reason. Maybe he tired me out better so I got good sound sleep at night. I also napped with him. I get about 9-10 hours a night.

Within the last week Logan appears to have given up naps - but when he was napping he would get up around 9, nap around 2 for 2-3 hours and then go to bed between 10 and 11. Now that he isn't napping he goes to sleep between 8 and 9 and sleeps till 9 the next morning. I never forced a schedule on him, he just fell into his own patterns. For him, bedtime is a happy time. He sleeps great anywhere as long as I'm there with him. I didn't "do" anything to cause his good sleep habits - just provided a loving and secure environment for him to grow and mature. He is a <i>very </i>intense child and I know he would not respond well at all to any kind of forced separation or CIO. Looking back I see how different he is/was from other children (his cousins aren't nearly as intense as he is) and I realize how high needs he is but for us it was just the way it was and I don't see it as difficult at all. I would have gotten way less sleep had I tried to go against what my instincts were telling me (that he needs to be close to me - day and night). If I had tried to force the issue I would have gotten way less sleep and been under way more stress. Maybe my next child will have a more mild personality - who knows.

Oh one last thing - my mom never believed in CIO for my brother and I even though the pediatrician said for her to just put me in my crib and shut the door till morning - and I am thankful for that. But I don't believe parents who do CIO are bad parents, just that they have made the wrong choice (in my eyes). I don't agree with every parenting decision my parents made while raising me but I still think they were great parents and did most things right.

 

[mom2lillian]

I also think each family has ot do what is best for them and put their biggest priorities first, which is of course in all cases our children and our health just handled in different ways. I have not read HSHC but think I will read it before our next child. I have read Dr. Sears nightitme parenting and am a fan of most of it. We do a mix as I have mentioned.

thanks to all for sharing yoru point of view.

There is a lady at my daycare who's method I find reprehensible and Im sure she got it out of one of these 'great' books everyone is so hip on these days. The child even at 12weeks was on a schedule reveling that of a military it had 2 scheduled naps a day from 9-11 and 1-3 and the child had to be in crib the whole time, if baby woke screming they couldnt leavve it in crib room with alll other chidlren so they took her out, put her on a pillow in the corner of the room away from all other kids so as to disturb them less and left the child there the whole time--it was heartbreaking to all involved. WHat usually happened was the child went down easy enough at 1pm, woke 30 min later, screamed for an hour+ then fell asleep again only to be awaken 'on time' for her mandatory afternoon bottle. It was horrible and I feel that these parents following this garbage are not bad parents merely trying to follow all this 'expert' advice out there.

I have PURPOSELY not read any book (aside from Sears and that was only in a moment of weakess and because I was already cosleeping) or followed anyone's advice but tried to follow my instincts because I believe that is what is intended. Now that I hvae been thorugh all this I will feel more comfortable reading books as I wont be so easily swayed and I already know what I like/dont like/believe etc but could still learn some new tricks.

As someone mentioned, just listening to your child you can tell that they need youand there is a reason for that. I am very in tune with my mothering instinct and can almost always tell exactly what she needs jsut from teh sound of her and I think this has alto to do with never denying her or myself the gift of reacting to her cries.

ETA: A friend of mine ahs a masters degree and is a social worker she mentioned that there have been documented links between CIO (I think more the hard core methods I imagine) and attachemnt disorders when using CIO before 6months of age.

 

[mom2lillian]

I also think each family has ot do what is best for them and put their biggest priorities first, which is of course in all cases our children and our health just handled in different ways. I have not read HSHC but think I will read it before our next child. I have read Dr. Sears nightitme parenting and am a fan of most of it. We do a mix as I have mentioned.

thanks to all for sharing yoru point of view.

There is a lady at my daycare who's method I find reprehensible and Im sure she got it out of one of these 'great' books everyone is so hip on these days. The child even at 12weeks was on a schedule reveling that of a military it had 2 scheduled naps a day from 9-11 and 1-3 and the child had to be in crib the whole time, if baby woke screming they couldnt leavve it in crib room with alll other chidlren so they took her out, put her on a pillow in the corner of the room away from all other kids so as to disturb them less and left the child there the whole time--it was heartbreaking to all involved. WHat usually happened was the child went down easy enough at 1pm, woke 30 min later, screamed for an hour+ then fell asleep again only to be awaken 'on time' for her mandatory afternoon bottle. It was horrible and I feel that these parents following this garbage are not bad parents merely trying to follow all this 'expert' advice out there.

I have PURPOSELY not read any book (aside from Sears and that was only in a moment of weakess and because I was already cosleeping) or followed anyone's advice but tried to follow my instincts because I believe that is what is intended. Now that I hvae been thorugh all this I will feel more comfortable reading books as I wont be so easily swayed and I already know what I like/dont like/believe etc but could still learn some new tricks.

As someone mentioned, just listening to your child you can tell that they need youand there is a reason for that. I am very in tune with my mothering instinct and can almost always tell exactly what she needs jsut from teh sound of her and I think this has alto to do with never denying her or myself the gift of reacting to her cries.

ETA: A friend of mine ahs a masters degree and is a social worker she mentioned that there have been documented links between CIO (I think more the hard core methods I imagine) and attachemnt disorders when using CIO before 6months of age.

 

[mom2lillian]

I also think each family has ot do what is best for them and put their biggest priorities first, which is of course in all cases our children and our health just handled in different ways. I have not read HSHC but think I will read it before our next child. I have read Dr. Sears nightitme parenting and am a fan of most of it. We do a mix as I have mentioned.

thanks to all for sharing yoru point of view.

There is a lady at my daycare who's method I find reprehensible and Im sure she got it out of one of these 'great' books everyone is so hip on these days. The child even at 12weeks was on a schedule reveling that of a military it had 2 scheduled naps a day from 9-11 and 1-3 and the child had to be in crib the whole time, if baby woke screming they couldnt leavve it in crib room with alll other chidlren so they took her out, put her on a pillow in the corner of the room away from all other kids so as to disturb them less and left the child there the whole time--it was heartbreaking to all involved. WHat usually happened was the child went down easy enough at 1pm, woke 30 min later, screamed for an hour+ then fell asleep again only to be awaken 'on time' for her mandatory afternoon bottle. It was horrible and I feel that these parents following this garbage are not bad parents merely trying to follow all this 'expert' advice out there.

I have PURPOSELY not read any book (aside from Sears and that was only in a moment of weakess and because I was already cosleeping) or followed anyone's advice but tried to follow my instincts because I believe that is what is intended. Now that I hvae been thorugh all this I will feel more comfortable reading books as I wont be so easily swayed and I already know what I like/dont like/believe etc but could still learn some new tricks.

As someone mentioned, just listening to your child you can tell that they need youand there is a reason for that. I am very in tune with my mothering instinct and can almost always tell exactly what she needs jsut from teh sound of her and I think this has alto to do with never denying her or myself the gift of reacting to her cries.

ETA: A friend of mine ahs a masters degree and is a social worker she mentioned that there have been documented links between CIO (I think more the hard core methods I imagine) and attachemnt disorders when using CIO before 6months of age.

 

[mom2lillian]

I also think each family has ot do what is best for them and put their biggest priorities first, which is of course in all cases our children and our health just handled in different ways. I have not read HSHC but think I will read it before our next child. I have read Dr. Sears nightitme parenting and am a fan of most of it. We do a mix as I have mentioned.

thanks to all for sharing yoru point of view.

There is a lady at my daycare who's method I find reprehensible and Im sure she got it out of one of these 'great' books everyone is so hip on these days. The child even at 12weeks was on a schedule reveling that of a military it had 2 scheduled naps a day from 9-11 and 1-3 and the child had to be in crib the whole time, if baby woke screming they couldnt leavve it in crib room with alll other chidlren so they took her out, put her on a pillow in the corner of the room away from all other kids so as to disturb them less and left the child there the whole time--it was heartbreaking to all involved. WHat usually happened was the child went down easy enough at 1pm, woke 30 min later, screamed for an hour+ then fell asleep again only to be awaken 'on time' for her mandatory afternoon bottle. It was horrible and I feel that these parents following this garbage are not bad parents merely trying to follow all this 'expert' advice out there.

I have PURPOSELY not read any book (aside from Sears and that was only in a moment of weakess and because I was already cosleeping) or followed anyone's advice but tried to follow my instincts because I believe that is what is intended. Now that I hvae been thorugh all this I will feel more comfortable reading books as I wont be so easily swayed and I already know what I like/dont like/believe etc but could still learn some new tricks.

As someone mentioned, just listening to your child you can tell that they need youand there is a reason for that. I am very in tune with my mothering instinct and can almost always tell exactly what she needs jsut from teh sound of her and I think this has alto to do with never denying her or myself the gift of reacting to her cries.

ETA: A friend of mine ahs a masters degree and is a social worker she mentioned that there have been documented links between CIO (I think more the hard core methods I imagine) and attachemnt disorders when using CIO before 6months of age.

 

[mom2lillian]

I also think each family has ot do what is best for them and put their biggest priorities first, which is of course in all cases our children and our health just handled in different ways. I have not read HSHC but think I will read it before our next child. I have read Dr. Sears nightitme parenting and am a fan of most of it. We do a mix as I have mentioned.

thanks to all for sharing yoru point of view.

There is a lady at my daycare who's method I find reprehensible and Im sure she got it out of one of these 'great' books everyone is so hip on these days. The child even at 12weeks was on a schedule reveling that of a military it had 2 scheduled naps a day from 9-11 and 1-3 and the child had to be in crib the whole time, if baby woke screming they couldnt leavve it in crib room with alll other chidlren so they took her out, put her on a pillow in the corner of the room away from all other kids so as to disturb them less and left the child there the whole time--it was heartbreaking to all involved. WHat usually happened was the child went down easy enough at 1pm, woke 30 min later, screamed for an hour+ then fell asleep again only to be awaken 'on time' for her mandatory afternoon bottle. It was horrible and I feel that these parents following this garbage are not bad parents merely trying to follow all this 'expert' advice out there.

I have PURPOSELY not read any book (aside from Sears and that was only in a moment of weakess and because I was already cosleeping) or followed anyone's advice but tried to follow my instincts because I believe that is what is intended. Now that I hvae been thorugh all this I will feel more comfortable reading books as I wont be so easily swayed and I already know what I like/dont like/believe etc but could still learn some new tricks.

As someone mentioned, just listening to your child you can tell that they need youand there is a reason for that. I am very in tune with my mothering instinct and can almost always tell exactly what she needs jsut from teh sound of her and I think this has alto to do with never denying her or myself the gift of reacting to her cries.

ETA: A friend of mine ahs a masters degree and is a social worker she mentioned that there have been documented links between CIO (I think more the hard core methods I imagine) and attachemnt disorders when using CIO before 6months of age.