My girlfriend of 3 1/2 years broke up with me about 5 months back. She was my first real love and I planned on proposing to her later this year. It goes without saying, I'm hurting. I let my disease get in the way of our relationship. I would often worry/freak out about my disease, venting to her and it became too much for her to handle. She was my girlfriend, but as I got closer to adulthood, she became the person I yelled at because I couldn't cope with my CF and all the struggles that go along with having this illness. If only I would have had more confidence and optimism regarding my disease, I think I would have been able to hang on to her. Now, I fear meeting someone who is willing to take on this life long battle with me....Obviously, my emotions and feelings toward CF need to change in order for me to take a more productive step towards having a relationship. Once I cope and stop making my life only about CF, will I be able to find someone who is ready for this fight against CF? I'm scared.<div><br></div><div>please share your stories.......</div>
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Dating with CF/I'm scared.
- Thread starter starkey6
- Start date
My girlfriend of 3 1/2 years broke up with me about 5 months back. She was my first real love and I planned on proposing to her later this year. It goes without saying, I'm hurting. I let my disease get in the way of our relationship. I would often worry/freak out about my disease, venting to her and it became too much for her to handle. She was my girlfriend, but as I got closer to adulthood, she became the person I yelled at because I couldn't cope with my CF and all the struggles that go along with having this illness. If only I would have had more confidence andoptimismregarding my disease, I think I would have been able to hang on to her. Now, I fear meeting someone who is willing to take on this life long battle with me....Obviously, my emotions and feelings toward CF need to change in order for me to take a more productive step towards having a relationship. Once I cope and stop making my life only about CF, will I be able to find someone who is ready for this fight against CF? I'm scared.<br>please share your stories.......
My girlfriend of 3 1/2 years broke up with me about 5 months back. She was my first real love and I planned on proposing to her later this year. It goes without saying, I'm hurting. I let my disease get in the way of our relationship. I would often worry/freak out about my disease, venting to her and it became too much for her to handle. She was my girlfriend, but as I got closer to adulthood, she became the person I yelled at because I couldn't cope with my CF and all the struggles that go along with having this illness. If only I would have had more confidence andoptimismregarding my disease, I think I would have been able to hang on to her. Now, I fear meeting someone who is willing to take on this life long battle with me....Obviously, my emotions and feelings toward CF need to change in order for me to take a more productive step towards having a relationship. Once I cope and stop making my life only about CF, will I be able to find someone who is ready for this fight against CF? I'm scared.<br>please share your stories.......
E
entropy
Guest
@starkey6
to me, it sounds as though it was underlying personality issues that led to your break up. you were lashing out at your girlfriend for YOUR condition. i wouldn't take that from someone either. you should not lash out at someone like that for such a ridiculous reason... especially a girlfriend. i'm just being honest here. was your having CF her fault? of course not. so what was the justification for being an ass hole?
@D
I am also very private about having CF. I rarely tell anybody, even very close friends. I know just how you feel about not wanting to be alone, yet not being secure enough to be open about having CF. I want a girlfriend too, but I feel as though I've already failed. Naturally, women look for a strong, able-bodied man who can provide for the family. I feel like the cards are stacked against me. It is different for men than it is for women. I've noticed that most of my male friends with CF on facebook rarely talk about having CF or rarely involve themselves in CF-related facebook stuff. But, I have many female facebook friends who basically use facebook as their public diary about their battle with CF. I think women with CF have it easier when it comes to finding companionship.
to me, it sounds as though it was underlying personality issues that led to your break up. you were lashing out at your girlfriend for YOUR condition. i wouldn't take that from someone either. you should not lash out at someone like that for such a ridiculous reason... especially a girlfriend. i'm just being honest here. was your having CF her fault? of course not. so what was the justification for being an ass hole?
@D
I am also very private about having CF. I rarely tell anybody, even very close friends. I know just how you feel about not wanting to be alone, yet not being secure enough to be open about having CF. I want a girlfriend too, but I feel as though I've already failed. Naturally, women look for a strong, able-bodied man who can provide for the family. I feel like the cards are stacked against me. It is different for men than it is for women. I've noticed that most of my male friends with CF on facebook rarely talk about having CF or rarely involve themselves in CF-related facebook stuff. But, I have many female facebook friends who basically use facebook as their public diary about their battle with CF. I think women with CF have it easier when it comes to finding companionship.
E
entropy
Guest
@starkey6
to me, it sounds as though it was underlying personality issues that led to your break up. you were lashing out at your girlfriend for YOUR condition. i wouldn't take that from someone either. you should not lash out at someone like that for such a ridiculous reason... especially a girlfriend. i'm just being honest here. was your having CF her fault? of course not. so what was the justification for being an ass hole?
@D
I am also very private about having CF. I rarely tell anybody, even very close friends. I know just how you feel about not wanting to be alone, yet not being secure enough to be open about having CF. I want a girlfriend too, but I feel as though I've already failed. Naturally, women look for a strong, able-bodied man who can provide for the family. I feel like the cards are stacked against me. It is different for men than it is for women. I've noticed that most of my male friends with CF on facebook rarely talk about having CF or rarely involve themselves in CF-related facebook stuff. But, I have many female facebook friends who basically use facebook as their public diary about their battle with CF. I think women with CF have it easier when it comes to finding companionship.
to me, it sounds as though it was underlying personality issues that led to your break up. you were lashing out at your girlfriend for YOUR condition. i wouldn't take that from someone either. you should not lash out at someone like that for such a ridiculous reason... especially a girlfriend. i'm just being honest here. was your having CF her fault? of course not. so what was the justification for being an ass hole?
@D
I am also very private about having CF. I rarely tell anybody, even very close friends. I know just how you feel about not wanting to be alone, yet not being secure enough to be open about having CF. I want a girlfriend too, but I feel as though I've already failed. Naturally, women look for a strong, able-bodied man who can provide for the family. I feel like the cards are stacked against me. It is different for men than it is for women. I've noticed that most of my male friends with CF on facebook rarely talk about having CF or rarely involve themselves in CF-related facebook stuff. But, I have many female facebook friends who basically use facebook as their public diary about their battle with CF. I think women with CF have it easier when it comes to finding companionship.
E
entropy
Guest
@starkey6
<br />
<br />to me, it sounds as though it was underlying personality issues that led to your break up. you were lashing out at your girlfriend for YOUR condition. i wouldn't take that from someone either. you should not lash out at someone like that for such a ridiculous reason... especially a girlfriend. i'm just being honest here. was your having CF her fault? of course not. so what was the justification for being an ass hole?
<br />
<br />@D
<br />
<br />I am also very private about having CF. I rarely tell anybody, even very close friends. I know just how you feel about not wanting to be alone, yet not being secure enough to be open about having CF. I want a girlfriend too, but I feel as though I've already failed. Naturally, women look for a strong, able-bodied man who can provide for the family. I feel like the cards are stacked against me. It is different for men than it is for women. I've noticed that most of my male friends with CF on facebook rarely talk about having CF or rarely involve themselves in CF-related facebook stuff. But, I have many female facebook friends who basically use facebook as their public diary about their battle with CF. I think women with CF have it easier when it comes to finding companionship.
<br />
<br />
<br />to me, it sounds as though it was underlying personality issues that led to your break up. you were lashing out at your girlfriend for YOUR condition. i wouldn't take that from someone either. you should not lash out at someone like that for such a ridiculous reason... especially a girlfriend. i'm just being honest here. was your having CF her fault? of course not. so what was the justification for being an ass hole?
<br />
<br />@D
<br />
<br />I am also very private about having CF. I rarely tell anybody, even very close friends. I know just how you feel about not wanting to be alone, yet not being secure enough to be open about having CF. I want a girlfriend too, but I feel as though I've already failed. Naturally, women look for a strong, able-bodied man who can provide for the family. I feel like the cards are stacked against me. It is different for men than it is for women. I've noticed that most of my male friends with CF on facebook rarely talk about having CF or rarely involve themselves in CF-related facebook stuff. But, I have many female facebook friends who basically use facebook as their public diary about their battle with CF. I think women with CF have it easier when it comes to finding companionship.
<br />
<div>To the original poster, I think it is possible to find someone that will stand by you through the disease. I think you're right about having to work on yourself first, because I think it's hard for others to love you if you don't feel confident in yourself. But I do strongly believe there are people out there that can look past the disease and love the person. They're just really hard to find. </div><div><br></div>I have to disagree with you, entropy, when you say women with CF have it easier. Not only for me personally, but several women I have talked with have a hard time finding someone to date. I think it depends more on how bad your CF is at the time.
<br>
<br>A few years ago, I was much, much healthier than I am now. I was actually able to date and have guys call back after they found out about my CF. Now, I cough once and guys want to leave. It doesn't matter if you're male or female. It might be hard to find a girl that doesn't view you as "weak," but it's just as hard to find a guy that doesn't mind being a "nurse."
<br>
<br>
<br>A few years ago, I was much, much healthier than I am now. I was actually able to date and have guys call back after they found out about my CF. Now, I cough once and guys want to leave. It doesn't matter if you're male or female. It might be hard to find a girl that doesn't view you as "weak," but it's just as hard to find a guy that doesn't mind being a "nurse."
<br>
To the original poster, I think it is possible to find someone that will stand by you through the disease. I think you're right about having to work on yourself first, because I think it's hard for others to love you if you don't feel confident in yourself. But I do strongly believe there are people out there that can look past the disease and love the person. They're just really hard to find.<br>I have to disagree with you, entropy, when you say women with CF have it easier. Not only for me personally, but several women I have talked with have a hard time finding someone to date. I think it depends more on how bad your CF is at the time.
<br>
<br>A few years ago, I was much, much healthier than I am now. I was actually able to date and have guys call back after they found out about my CF. Now, I cough once and guys want to leave. It doesn't matter if you're male or female. It might be hard to find a girl that doesn't view you as "weak," but it's just as hard to find a guy that doesn't mind being a "nurse."
<br>
<br>
<br>A few years ago, I was much, much healthier than I am now. I was actually able to date and have guys call back after they found out about my CF. Now, I cough once and guys want to leave. It doesn't matter if you're male or female. It might be hard to find a girl that doesn't view you as "weak," but it's just as hard to find a guy that doesn't mind being a "nurse."
<br>
To the original poster, I think it is possible to find someone that will stand by you through the disease. I think you're right about having to work on yourself first, because I think it's hard for others to love you if you don't feel confident in yourself. But I do strongly believe there are people out there that can look past the disease and love the person. They're just really hard to find.<br>I have to disagree with you, entropy, when you say women with CF have it easier. Not only for me personally, but several women I have talked with have a hard time finding someone to date. I think it depends more on how bad your CF is at the time.
<br>
<br>A few years ago, I was much, much healthier than I am now. I was actually able to date and have guys call back after they found out about my CF. Now, I cough once and guys want to leave. It doesn't matter if you're male or female. It might be hard to find a girl that doesn't view you as "weak," but it's just as hard to find a guy that doesn't mind being a "nurse."
<br>
<br>
<br>A few years ago, I was much, much healthier than I am now. I was actually able to date and have guys call back after they found out about my CF. Now, I cough once and guys want to leave. It doesn't matter if you're male or female. It might be hard to find a girl that doesn't view you as "weak," but it's just as hard to find a guy that doesn't mind being a "nurse."
<br>
Iamqueenofeverything
New member
Thanks for sharing starkey6.
I am sorry about your past relationship. I completly understand the anger, worrying and freaking out about CF. Intead of yelling at someone for your anger about CF, you may need to get rid of that anger in another way. What works for me is keeping a journal, exercising, and talking about it without yelling or blaming others. Does your doctor offer a physcologist?
entropy - i only post about my CF when I am sick or in the hospital and use Facebook as a prayer chain for me. it's easier to do that then call all those people and have the same conversation about my health many times.
I have had a hard time with my CF with finding a soul mate. Some people back away from me when i mention CF. My ex boyfriend was a complete jerk about CF. He claimed that he loved me and wanted to marry me but he also was afraid of the responsibilty of helping me with CF and was afraid that if we got married and i go to the hospital then i will make us go bankrupt due to the medical finances. so i dumped him. Also, women with CF can have a very hard time with pregnancy.
I am sorry about your past relationship. I completly understand the anger, worrying and freaking out about CF. Intead of yelling at someone for your anger about CF, you may need to get rid of that anger in another way. What works for me is keeping a journal, exercising, and talking about it without yelling or blaming others. Does your doctor offer a physcologist?
entropy - i only post about my CF when I am sick or in the hospital and use Facebook as a prayer chain for me. it's easier to do that then call all those people and have the same conversation about my health many times.
I have had a hard time with my CF with finding a soul mate. Some people back away from me when i mention CF. My ex boyfriend was a complete jerk about CF. He claimed that he loved me and wanted to marry me but he also was afraid of the responsibilty of helping me with CF and was afraid that if we got married and i go to the hospital then i will make us go bankrupt due to the medical finances. so i dumped him. Also, women with CF can have a very hard time with pregnancy.
Iamqueenofeverything
New member
Thanks for sharing starkey6.
I am sorry about your past relationship. I completly understand the anger, worrying and freaking out about CF. Intead of yelling at someone for your anger about CF, you may need to get rid of that anger in another way. What works for me is keeping a journal, exercising, and talking about it without yelling or blaming others. Does your doctor offer a physcologist?
entropy - i only post about my CF when I am sick or in the hospital and use Facebook as a prayer chain for me. it's easier to do that then call all those people and have the same conversation about my health many times.
I have had a hard time with my CF with finding a soul mate. Some people back away from me when i mention CF. My ex boyfriend was a complete jerk about CF. He claimed that he loved me and wanted to marry me but he also was afraid of the responsibilty of helping me with CF and was afraid that if we got married and i go to the hospital then i will make us go bankrupt due to the medical finances. so i dumped him. Also, women with CF can have a very hard time with pregnancy.
I am sorry about your past relationship. I completly understand the anger, worrying and freaking out about CF. Intead of yelling at someone for your anger about CF, you may need to get rid of that anger in another way. What works for me is keeping a journal, exercising, and talking about it without yelling or blaming others. Does your doctor offer a physcologist?
entropy - i only post about my CF when I am sick or in the hospital and use Facebook as a prayer chain for me. it's easier to do that then call all those people and have the same conversation about my health many times.
I have had a hard time with my CF with finding a soul mate. Some people back away from me when i mention CF. My ex boyfriend was a complete jerk about CF. He claimed that he loved me and wanted to marry me but he also was afraid of the responsibilty of helping me with CF and was afraid that if we got married and i go to the hospital then i will make us go bankrupt due to the medical finances. so i dumped him. Also, women with CF can have a very hard time with pregnancy.
Iamqueenofeverything
New member
Thanks for sharing starkey6.
<br />I am sorry about your past relationship. I completly understand the anger, worrying and freaking out about CF. Intead of yelling at someone for your anger about CF, you may need to get rid of that anger in another way. What works for me is keeping a journal, exercising, and talking about it without yelling or blaming others. Does your doctor offer a physcologist?
<br />
<br />entropy - i only post about my CF when I am sick or in the hospital and use Facebook as a prayer chain for me. it's easier to do that then call all those people and have the same conversation about my health many times.
<br />I have had a hard time with my CF with finding a soul mate. Some people back away from me when i mention CF. My ex boyfriend was a complete jerk about CF. He claimed that he loved me and wanted to marry me but he also was afraid of the responsibilty of helping me with CF and was afraid that if we got married and i go to the hospital then i will make us go bankrupt due to the medical finances. so i dumped him. Also, women with CF can have a very hard time with pregnancy.
<br />
<br />I am sorry about your past relationship. I completly understand the anger, worrying and freaking out about CF. Intead of yelling at someone for your anger about CF, you may need to get rid of that anger in another way. What works for me is keeping a journal, exercising, and talking about it without yelling or blaming others. Does your doctor offer a physcologist?
<br />
<br />entropy - i only post about my CF when I am sick or in the hospital and use Facebook as a prayer chain for me. it's easier to do that then call all those people and have the same conversation about my health many times.
<br />I have had a hard time with my CF with finding a soul mate. Some people back away from me when i mention CF. My ex boyfriend was a complete jerk about CF. He claimed that he loved me and wanted to marry me but he also was afraid of the responsibilty of helping me with CF and was afraid that if we got married and i go to the hospital then i will make us go bankrupt due to the medical finances. so i dumped him. Also, women with CF can have a very hard time with pregnancy.
<br />
@ starkey6: I totally understand what you're going through right now. My fiance and partner of 6 years just up and left me about a month ago. CF wasn't the main reason (at least I don't think), but it was a contributing factor. I'm at a point now, way unhealthier than I was when I first met my exfiance, that makes me wonder if there's ANYONE out there that can deal with me (and like it), lol. I don't know much else to say except that I understand, and this sort of thing really leaves you feeling confused and empty.
@entropy: I hope you don't think we're all jumping down your throat here, I'm certainly not meaning to. I find it interesting that you think women with CF have it easier than guys, because I've ALWAYS thought the opposite. I guess I look at it that way because by nature, women tend to be very nurturing and caring which has me believe that a woman is more likely to stick with a person who requires a lot of care and attention because they are chronically ill. Your reasoning for why women don't want a man with CF is my reason why I believe men don't want a woman with CF. It's human nature to seek out the ideal mate...someone healthy and able/willing to reproduce. This is not me. Physically able or not (though I'm very not), kids are not something I see being a good idea in my future and I know I'm not the only CF girl who feels this way. That right there turns away many. Plus, I will forever need more in a relationship than I feel I could give (financially, emotionally, etc.), and I'm not so sure that many men have the patience for that (my ex fiance being a prime example). Again, I hope I don't come across as arguing with you, or have offended any other guys on here, but I just thought your response was interesting and quite thought provoking. <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif" border="0">
@entropy: I hope you don't think we're all jumping down your throat here, I'm certainly not meaning to. I find it interesting that you think women with CF have it easier than guys, because I've ALWAYS thought the opposite. I guess I look at it that way because by nature, women tend to be very nurturing and caring which has me believe that a woman is more likely to stick with a person who requires a lot of care and attention because they are chronically ill. Your reasoning for why women don't want a man with CF is my reason why I believe men don't want a woman with CF. It's human nature to seek out the ideal mate...someone healthy and able/willing to reproduce. This is not me. Physically able or not (though I'm very not), kids are not something I see being a good idea in my future and I know I'm not the only CF girl who feels this way. That right there turns away many. Plus, I will forever need more in a relationship than I feel I could give (financially, emotionally, etc.), and I'm not so sure that many men have the patience for that (my ex fiance being a prime example). Again, I hope I don't come across as arguing with you, or have offended any other guys on here, but I just thought your response was interesting and quite thought provoking. <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif" border="0">
@ starkey6: I totally understand what you're going through right now. My fiance and partner of 6 years just up and left me about a month ago. CF wasn't the main reason (at least I don't think), but it was a contributing factor. I'm at a point now, way unhealthier than I was when I first met my exfiance, that makes me wonder if there's ANYONE out there that can deal with me (and like it), lol. I don't know much else to say except that I understand, and this sort of thing really leaves you feeling confused and empty.
@entropy: I hope you don't think we're all jumping down your throat here, I'm certainly not meaning to. I find it interesting that you think women with CF have it easier than guys, because I've ALWAYS thought the opposite. I guess I look at it that way because by nature, women tend to be very nurturing and caring which has me believe that a woman is more likely to stick with a person who requires a lot of care and attention because they are chronically ill. Your reasoning for why women don't want a man with CF is my reason why I believe men don't want a woman with CF. It's human nature to seek out the ideal mate...someone healthy and able/willing to reproduce. This is not me. Physically able or not (though I'm very not), kids are not something I see being a good idea in my future and I know I'm not the only CF girl who feels this way. That right there turns away many. Plus, I will forever need more in a relationship than I feel I could give (financially, emotionally, etc.), and I'm not so sure that many men have the patience for that (my ex fiance being a prime example). Again, I hope I don't come across as arguing with you, or have offended any other guys on here, but I just thought your response was interesting and quite thought provoking. <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif" border="0">
@entropy: I hope you don't think we're all jumping down your throat here, I'm certainly not meaning to. I find it interesting that you think women with CF have it easier than guys, because I've ALWAYS thought the opposite. I guess I look at it that way because by nature, women tend to be very nurturing and caring which has me believe that a woman is more likely to stick with a person who requires a lot of care and attention because they are chronically ill. Your reasoning for why women don't want a man with CF is my reason why I believe men don't want a woman with CF. It's human nature to seek out the ideal mate...someone healthy and able/willing to reproduce. This is not me. Physically able or not (though I'm very not), kids are not something I see being a good idea in my future and I know I'm not the only CF girl who feels this way. That right there turns away many. Plus, I will forever need more in a relationship than I feel I could give (financially, emotionally, etc.), and I'm not so sure that many men have the patience for that (my ex fiance being a prime example). Again, I hope I don't come across as arguing with you, or have offended any other guys on here, but I just thought your response was interesting and quite thought provoking. <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif" border="0">
@ starkey6: I totally understand what you're going through right now. My fiance and partner of 6 years just up and left me about a month ago. CF wasn't the main reason (at least I don't think), but it was a contributing factor. I'm at a point now, way unhealthier than I was when I first met my exfiance, that makes me wonder if there's ANYONE out there that can deal with me (and like it), lol. I don't know much else to say except that I understand, and this sort of thing really leaves you feeling confused and empty.
<br />
<br />@entropy: I hope you don't think we're all jumping down your throat here, I'm certainly not meaning to. I find it interesting that you think women with CF have it easier than guys, because I've ALWAYS thought the opposite. I guess I look at it that way because by nature, women tend to be very nurturing and caring which has me believe that a woman is more likely to stick with a person who requires a lot of care and attention because they are chronically ill. Your reasoning for why women don't want a man with CF is my reason why I believe men don't want a woman with CF. It's human nature to seek out the ideal mate...someone healthy and able/willing to reproduce. This is not me. Physically able or not (though I'm very not), kids are not something I see being a good idea in my future and I know I'm not the only CF girl who feels this way. That right there turns away many. Plus, I will forever need more in a relationship than I feel I could give (financially, emotionally, etc.), and I'm not so sure that many men have the patience for that (my ex fiance being a prime example). Again, I hope I don't come across as arguing with you, or have offended any other guys on here, but I just thought your response was interesting and quite thought provoking. <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif" border="0">
<br />
<br />@entropy: I hope you don't think we're all jumping down your throat here, I'm certainly not meaning to. I find it interesting that you think women with CF have it easier than guys, because I've ALWAYS thought the opposite. I guess I look at it that way because by nature, women tend to be very nurturing and caring which has me believe that a woman is more likely to stick with a person who requires a lot of care and attention because they are chronically ill. Your reasoning for why women don't want a man with CF is my reason why I believe men don't want a woman with CF. It's human nature to seek out the ideal mate...someone healthy and able/willing to reproduce. This is not me. Physically able or not (though I'm very not), kids are not something I see being a good idea in my future and I know I'm not the only CF girl who feels this way. That right there turns away many. Plus, I will forever need more in a relationship than I feel I could give (financially, emotionally, etc.), and I'm not so sure that many men have the patience for that (my ex fiance being a prime example). Again, I hope I don't come across as arguing with you, or have offended any other guys on here, but I just thought your response was interesting and quite thought provoking. <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif" border="0">
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>ej0820</b></i>
@ starkey6: I totally understand what you're going through right now. My fiance and partner of 6 years just up and left me about a month ago. CF wasn't the main reason (at least I don't think), but it was a contributing factor. I'm at a point now, way unhealthier than I was when I first met my exfiance, that makes me wonder if there's ANYONE out there that can deal with me (and like it), lol. I don't know much else to say except that I understand, and this sort of thing really leaves you feeling confused and empty.
@entropy: I hope you don't think we're all jumping down your throat here, I'm certainly not meaning to. I find it interesting that you think women with CF have it easier than guys, because I've ALWAYS thought the opposite. I guess I look at it that way because by nature, women tend to be very nurturing and caring which has me believe that a woman is more likely to stick with a person who requires a lot of care and attention because they are chronically ill. Your reasoning for why women don't want a man with CF is my reason why I believe men don't want a woman with CF. It's human nature to seek out the ideal mate...someone healthy and able/willing to reproduce. This is not me. Physically able or not (though I'm very not), kids are not something I see being a good idea in my future and I know I'm not the only CF girl who feels this way. That right there turns away many. Plus, I will forever need more in a relationship than I feel I could give (financially, emotionally, etc.), and I'm not so sure that many men have the patience for that (my ex fiance being a prime example). Again, I hope I don't come across as arguing with you, or have offended any other guys on here, but I just thought your response was interesting and quite thought provoking. <img src=""></end quote></div>hey!!<br><br>if i can add a bit on the whole 'what gender has it easier with cf in relationships'... I think men might have it harder, and by harder I mean horribly harder lol, in the dating world... and adding CF into the mix only makes it almost impossible to play the games people usually play. Because as a man, you might give 110% of yourself just to catch her attention, but get shut down once they learn about your condition... it's a very hard thing to get rejected, but to be rejected only because of it even when u tried to move worlds for her is tragic.<br><br>on the other hand, i don't doubt that once in a relationship, men might have it easier... women do tend to be more caring and optimistic about these kinds of things. Guys might grow tired faster of keeping up with their girls 'special needs'... (gosh i hate how that sounds)<br><br>but wtv, everybody's different, i'm sure there are a few cf studs and divas in this world, we just have to work on ourselves to the point of being in peace with the current state of our condition. good luck to all!<br>
@ starkey6: I totally understand what you're going through right now. My fiance and partner of 6 years just up and left me about a month ago. CF wasn't the main reason (at least I don't think), but it was a contributing factor. I'm at a point now, way unhealthier than I was when I first met my exfiance, that makes me wonder if there's ANYONE out there that can deal with me (and like it), lol. I don't know much else to say except that I understand, and this sort of thing really leaves you feeling confused and empty.
@entropy: I hope you don't think we're all jumping down your throat here, I'm certainly not meaning to. I find it interesting that you think women with CF have it easier than guys, because I've ALWAYS thought the opposite. I guess I look at it that way because by nature, women tend to be very nurturing and caring which has me believe that a woman is more likely to stick with a person who requires a lot of care and attention because they are chronically ill. Your reasoning for why women don't want a man with CF is my reason why I believe men don't want a woman with CF. It's human nature to seek out the ideal mate...someone healthy and able/willing to reproduce. This is not me. Physically able or not (though I'm very not), kids are not something I see being a good idea in my future and I know I'm not the only CF girl who feels this way. That right there turns away many. Plus, I will forever need more in a relationship than I feel I could give (financially, emotionally, etc.), and I'm not so sure that many men have the patience for that (my ex fiance being a prime example). Again, I hope I don't come across as arguing with you, or have offended any other guys on here, but I just thought your response was interesting and quite thought provoking. <img src=""></end quote></div>hey!!<br><br>if i can add a bit on the whole 'what gender has it easier with cf in relationships'... I think men might have it harder, and by harder I mean horribly harder lol, in the dating world... and adding CF into the mix only makes it almost impossible to play the games people usually play. Because as a man, you might give 110% of yourself just to catch her attention, but get shut down once they learn about your condition... it's a very hard thing to get rejected, but to be rejected only because of it even when u tried to move worlds for her is tragic.<br><br>on the other hand, i don't doubt that once in a relationship, men might have it easier... women do tend to be more caring and optimistic about these kinds of things. Guys might grow tired faster of keeping up with their girls 'special needs'... (gosh i hate how that sounds)<br><br>but wtv, everybody's different, i'm sure there are a few cf studs and divas in this world, we just have to work on ourselves to the point of being in peace with the current state of our condition. good luck to all!<br>
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>ej0820</b></i>
@ starkey6: I totally understand what you're going through right now. My fiance and partner of 6 years just up and left me about a month ago. CF wasn't the main reason (at least I don't think), but it was a contributing factor. I'm at a point now, way unhealthier than I was when I first met my exfiance, that makes me wonder if there's ANYONE out there that can deal with me (and like it), lol. I don't know much else to say except that I understand, and this sort of thing really leaves you feeling confused and empty.
@entropy: I hope you don't think we're all jumping down your throat here, I'm certainly not meaning to. I find it interesting that you think women with CF have it easier than guys, because I've ALWAYS thought the opposite. I guess I look at it that way because by nature, women tend to be very nurturing and caring which has me believe that a woman is more likely to stick with a person who requires a lot of care and attention because they are chronically ill. Your reasoning for why women don't want a man with CF is my reason why I believe men don't want a woman with CF. It's human nature to seek out the ideal mate...someone healthy and able/willing to reproduce. This is not me. Physically able or not (though I'm very not), kids are not something I see being a good idea in my future and I know I'm not the only CF girl who feels this way. That right there turns away many. Plus, I will forever need more in a relationship than I feel I could give (financially, emotionally, etc.), and I'm not so sure that many men have the patience for that (my ex fiance being a prime example). Again, I hope I don't come across as arguing with you, or have offended any other guys on here, but I just thought your response was interesting and quite thought provoking. <img src=""></end quote>hey!!<br><br>if i can add a bit on the whole 'what gender has it easier with cf in relationships'... I think men might have it harder, and by harder I mean horribly harder lol, in the dating world... and adding CF into the mix only makes it almost impossible to play the games people usually play. Because as a man, you might give 110% of yourself just to catch her attention, but get shut down once they learn about your condition... it's a very hard thing to get rejected, but to be rejected only because of it even when u tried to move worlds for her is tragic.<br><br>on the other hand, i don't doubt that once in a relationship, men might have it easier... women do tend to be more caring and optimistic about these kinds of things. Guys might grow tired faster of keeping up with their girls 'special needs'... (gosh i hate how that sounds)<br><br>but wtv, everybody's different, i'm sure there are a few cf studs and divas in this world, we just have to work on ourselves to the point of being in peace with the current state of our condition. good luck to all!<br>
@ starkey6: I totally understand what you're going through right now. My fiance and partner of 6 years just up and left me about a month ago. CF wasn't the main reason (at least I don't think), but it was a contributing factor. I'm at a point now, way unhealthier than I was when I first met my exfiance, that makes me wonder if there's ANYONE out there that can deal with me (and like it), lol. I don't know much else to say except that I understand, and this sort of thing really leaves you feeling confused and empty.
@entropy: I hope you don't think we're all jumping down your throat here, I'm certainly not meaning to. I find it interesting that you think women with CF have it easier than guys, because I've ALWAYS thought the opposite. I guess I look at it that way because by nature, women tend to be very nurturing and caring which has me believe that a woman is more likely to stick with a person who requires a lot of care and attention because they are chronically ill. Your reasoning for why women don't want a man with CF is my reason why I believe men don't want a woman with CF. It's human nature to seek out the ideal mate...someone healthy and able/willing to reproduce. This is not me. Physically able or not (though I'm very not), kids are not something I see being a good idea in my future and I know I'm not the only CF girl who feels this way. That right there turns away many. Plus, I will forever need more in a relationship than I feel I could give (financially, emotionally, etc.), and I'm not so sure that many men have the patience for that (my ex fiance being a prime example). Again, I hope I don't come across as arguing with you, or have offended any other guys on here, but I just thought your response was interesting and quite thought provoking. <img src=""></end quote>hey!!<br><br>if i can add a bit on the whole 'what gender has it easier with cf in relationships'... I think men might have it harder, and by harder I mean horribly harder lol, in the dating world... and adding CF into the mix only makes it almost impossible to play the games people usually play. Because as a man, you might give 110% of yourself just to catch her attention, but get shut down once they learn about your condition... it's a very hard thing to get rejected, but to be rejected only because of it even when u tried to move worlds for her is tragic.<br><br>on the other hand, i don't doubt that once in a relationship, men might have it easier... women do tend to be more caring and optimistic about these kinds of things. Guys might grow tired faster of keeping up with their girls 'special needs'... (gosh i hate how that sounds)<br><br>but wtv, everybody's different, i'm sure there are a few cf studs and divas in this world, we just have to work on ourselves to the point of being in peace with the current state of our condition. good luck to all!<br>