Divorced Due To Money Protection?

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anonneeded

New member
I have been a member here for a long time and know many of you well. My wife and I are wondering if we shoudl secretly get a divorce. We would never tell anyone-ever! We would only do it so as to protect our assets in case of medical bills getting too high or if something would happen where we lost our medical insurance then I would stand a better chance of getting some form of help for insurance through medicaid perhaps?

We plan to seek the help of a very crafty financial attorney but I was wondering if anyone here had done or heard of something similar. Or maybe you didnt get married in first place for this reason?

I just want to protect her in event of my death. I have alot of life insurance and such but it would be useless if it was all needed to pay for medical bills etc.

thank you
 
A

anonneeded

New member
I have been a member here for a long time and know many of you well. My wife and I are wondering if we shoudl secretly get a divorce. We would never tell anyone-ever! We would only do it so as to protect our assets in case of medical bills getting too high or if something would happen where we lost our medical insurance then I would stand a better chance of getting some form of help for insurance through medicaid perhaps?

We plan to seek the help of a very crafty financial attorney but I was wondering if anyone here had done or heard of something similar. Or maybe you didnt get married in first place for this reason?

I just want to protect her in event of my death. I have alot of life insurance and such but it would be useless if it was all needed to pay for medical bills etc.

thank you
 
A

anonneeded

New member
I have been a member here for a long time and know many of you well. My wife and I are wondering if we shoudl secretly get a divorce. We would never tell anyone-ever! We would only do it so as to protect our assets in case of medical bills getting too high or if something would happen where we lost our medical insurance then I would stand a better chance of getting some form of help for insurance through medicaid perhaps?

We plan to seek the help of a very crafty financial attorney but I was wondering if anyone here had done or heard of something similar. Or maybe you didnt get married in first place for this reason?

I just want to protect her in event of my death. I have alot of life insurance and such but it would be useless if it was all needed to pay for medical bills etc.

thank you
 
J

JazzysMom

New member
I never actually DID it, but I was advised to. When my daughter was born & $$ was tight, my Supervisor who also did Medicaid & Public Assistance applications at my office really pushed me to "kick Robert out" so on paper my daughter & I would be eligible for much more. Financially it would have helped, but I chose not to & continued to struggle. I do know a couple whose husband has MS & they "divorced" on paper as his MS progressed because as a married couple he was not eligible for certain things. For them it truly ended in divorce tho. I am not sure how strong the marriage was to begin with after his dx. Its a slippery slope to climb. Good Luck with what you decide!
 
J

JazzysMom

New member
I never actually DID it, but I was advised to. When my daughter was born & $$ was tight, my Supervisor who also did Medicaid & Public Assistance applications at my office really pushed me to "kick Robert out" so on paper my daughter & I would be eligible for much more. Financially it would have helped, but I chose not to & continued to struggle. I do know a couple whose husband has MS & they "divorced" on paper as his MS progressed because as a married couple he was not eligible for certain things. For them it truly ended in divorce tho. I am not sure how strong the marriage was to begin with after his dx. Its a slippery slope to climb. Good Luck with what you decide!
 
J

JazzysMom

New member
I never actually DID it, but I was advised to. When my daughter was born & $$ was tight, my Supervisor who also did Medicaid & Public Assistance applications at my office really pushed me to "kick Robert out" so on paper my daughter & I would be eligible for much more. Financially it would have helped, but I chose not to & continued to struggle. I do know a couple whose husband has MS & they "divorced" on paper as his MS progressed because as a married couple he was not eligible for certain things. For them it truly ended in divorce tho. I am not sure how strong the marriage was to begin with after his dx. Its a slippery slope to climb. Good Luck with what you decide!
 
L

LisaV

New member
Hi,
I'm a member of a group that gives support to "well" spouses of folks with disabilities and/or chronic illnesses. A LOT of people I have known have chosen this route. My late husband and I did not because of his religious beliefs. Truthfully though I could have gotten him much better care if we had never married-or divorced before he became so ill that I would have been required to give him alimony. If we hadn't been married he would have been eligible for Medicaid (including their home wiavers for the disabled) which means they would have paid for his prescriptions and lots of home care incoluding, nurses, travel, and personal care attendants and homemakers. We could have just supplemented these things. As it was the system expected me to do or pay for everything (even tho I worked fulltime). He hated being that dependent on me and on my being that overloaded.

Frankly, knowing how the system works now I would never legally marry again -- tho' for the right man I'd have a great big committment ceremony (tho' having been both divorced and widowed I know that even that is sort of unnecessary -- it's the private committment that really matters) .

But divorce "in name only", yup. Common. and often helpful. Do it before you become really sick though. It's a freaky feeling folks tell me and not something to experience when you are feeling really rotten and dependent physically.
 
L

LisaV

New member
Hi,
I'm a member of a group that gives support to "well" spouses of folks with disabilities and/or chronic illnesses. A LOT of people I have known have chosen this route. My late husband and I did not because of his religious beliefs. Truthfully though I could have gotten him much better care if we had never married-or divorced before he became so ill that I would have been required to give him alimony. If we hadn't been married he would have been eligible for Medicaid (including their home wiavers for the disabled) which means they would have paid for his prescriptions and lots of home care incoluding, nurses, travel, and personal care attendants and homemakers. We could have just supplemented these things. As it was the system expected me to do or pay for everything (even tho I worked fulltime). He hated being that dependent on me and on my being that overloaded.

Frankly, knowing how the system works now I would never legally marry again -- tho' for the right man I'd have a great big committment ceremony (tho' having been both divorced and widowed I know that even that is sort of unnecessary -- it's the private committment that really matters) .

But divorce "in name only", yup. Common. and often helpful. Do it before you become really sick though. It's a freaky feeling folks tell me and not something to experience when you are feeling really rotten and dependent physically.
 
L

LisaV

New member
Hi,
I'm a member of a group that gives support to "well" spouses of folks with disabilities and/or chronic illnesses. A LOT of people I have known have chosen this route. My late husband and I did not because of his religious beliefs. Truthfully though I could have gotten him much better care if we had never married-or divorced before he became so ill that I would have been required to give him alimony. If we hadn't been married he would have been eligible for Medicaid (including their home wiavers for the disabled) which means they would have paid for his prescriptions and lots of home care incoluding, nurses, travel, and personal care attendants and homemakers. We could have just supplemented these things. As it was the system expected me to do or pay for everything (even tho I worked fulltime). He hated being that dependent on me and on my being that overloaded.

Frankly, knowing how the system works now I would never legally marry again -- tho' for the right man I'd have a great big committment ceremony (tho' having been both divorced and widowed I know that even that is sort of unnecessary -- it's the private committment that really matters) .

But divorce "in name only", yup. Common. and often helpful. Do it before you become really sick though. It's a freaky feeling folks tell me and not something to experience when you are feeling really rotten and dependent physically.
 
L

Lilith

New member
I've heard of this happening, and that is why I'm choosing not to marry my boyfriend. Its a hard decision to make, but in the end, we decided that my medical needs must come first. We plan on having a commitment ceremony, as LisaV mentioned, but nothing legal. Its a very unfortunate thing to have to do, but the benifits may be well worth it in the end.
 
L

Lilith

New member
I've heard of this happening, and that is why I'm choosing not to marry my boyfriend. Its a hard decision to make, but in the end, we decided that my medical needs must come first. We plan on having a commitment ceremony, as LisaV mentioned, but nothing legal. Its a very unfortunate thing to have to do, but the benifits may be well worth it in the end.
 
L

Lilith

New member
I've heard of this happening, and that is why I'm choosing not to marry my boyfriend. Its a hard decision to make, but in the end, we decided that my medical needs must come first. We plan on having a commitment ceremony, as LisaV mentioned, but nothing legal. Its a very unfortunate thing to have to do, but the benifits may be well worth it in the end.
 
J

julie

New member
I've considered it for Mark's sake and for the kids. There is so much that they don't qualify for (but I think they should) because I'm like $25 over the income limit.

He could get state insurance for free (which in my opinion in WA, is BETTER than Tricare!! He would qualify for a rediculious amount of food stamps...

Mark isn't for the idea, but if things ever got really bad, it would be an option that I would heavily consider!
 
J

julie

New member
I've considered it for Mark's sake and for the kids. There is so much that they don't qualify for (but I think they should) because I'm like $25 over the income limit.

He could get state insurance for free (which in my opinion in WA, is BETTER than Tricare!! He would qualify for a rediculious amount of food stamps...

Mark isn't for the idea, but if things ever got really bad, it would be an option that I would heavily consider!
 
J

julie

New member
I've considered it for Mark's sake and for the kids. There is so much that they don't qualify for (but I think they should) because I'm like $25 over the income limit.

He could get state insurance for free (which in my opinion in WA, is BETTER than Tricare!! He would qualify for a rediculious amount of food stamps...

Mark isn't for the idea, but if things ever got really bad, it would be an option that I would heavily consider!
 
B

blondelawyer

New member
For those of you that do chose something like this, or decide not to get married because of this, just make sure that you have the other necessary legal paperwork in order, like health care power of attorney and a will. If you are not legally married, your significant other will have no legal say in your medical care unless he/she has a medical power of attorney.
 
B

blondelawyer

New member
For those of you that do chose something like this, or decide not to get married because of this, just make sure that you have the other necessary legal paperwork in order, like health care power of attorney and a will. If you are not legally married, your significant other will have no legal say in your medical care unless he/she has a medical power of attorney.
 
B

blondelawyer

New member
For those of you that do chose something like this, or decide not to get married because of this, just make sure that you have the other necessary legal paperwork in order, like health care power of attorney and a will. If you are not legally married, your significant other will have no legal say in your medical care unless he/she has a medical power of attorney.
 
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