A friend of mine from my car club passed away on Thursday morning from Leukemia. I have been friends with he and his wife ( and kids) for about 5-6 years and his funeral is tomorrow morning. I cant explain what i am feeling since i heard about his death, except for saying i feel more fearful about my own health. I find myself feeling like i am surrounded by negativity and almost anxiety. I keep having bad thoughts and feelings . I nearly had a panic attack thursday night after a coughing fit. I felt like i couldnt catch my breath and that wave of instant fear swept over me and i just took a slow deep breath walked to my porch door and opened it and let the cold air hit me, and realized i was having the start of an anxiety attack and was able to thwart it ( Thank God). I know this is because of the bad news because it happened when someone else i knew and cared about, passed away last summer. Do you find this happening to you when you get bad news? I will be happy when it all passes. This stuff never happened to me before when i had mild cf and very minimal problems. Now that things have changed over the years with my health, i find when i lose someone close to me, it forces me to think of stuff i want to NOT think about and not have to face yet. Especially after hearing that the fungus ball in my lung has grown rather than shrink last month, this is putting horrible thoughts in my mind about what will happen if the fungus ball continues to grow. OK im going to shut up now. before i get myself all worked up again.
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Does this happen to you also?
- Thread starter Diane
- Start date
A friend of mine from my car club passed away on Thursday morning from Leukemia. I have been friends with he and his wife ( and kids) for about 5-6 years and his funeral is tomorrow morning. I cant explain what i am feeling since i heard about his death, except for saying i feel more fearful about my own health. I find myself feeling like i am surrounded by negativity and almost anxiety. I keep having bad thoughts and feelings . I nearly had a panic attack thursday night after a coughing fit. I felt like i couldnt catch my breath and that wave of instant fear swept over me and i just took a slow deep breath walked to my porch door and opened it and let the cold air hit me, and realized i was having the start of an anxiety attack and was able to thwart it ( Thank God). I know this is because of the bad news because it happened when someone else i knew and cared about, passed away last summer. Do you find this happening to you when you get bad news? I will be happy when it all passes. This stuff never happened to me before when i had mild cf and very minimal problems. Now that things have changed over the years with my health, i find when i lose someone close to me, it forces me to think of stuff i want to NOT think about and not have to face yet. Especially after hearing that the fungus ball in my lung has grown rather than shrink last month, this is putting horrible thoughts in my mind about what will happen if the fungus ball continues to grow. OK im going to shut up now. before i get myself all worked up again.
A friend of mine from my car club passed away on Thursday morning from Leukemia. I have been friends with he and his wife ( and kids) for about 5-6 years and his funeral is tomorrow morning. I cant explain what i am feeling since i heard about his death, except for saying i feel more fearful about my own health. I find myself feeling like i am surrounded by negativity and almost anxiety. I keep having bad thoughts and feelings . I nearly had a panic attack thursday night after a coughing fit. I felt like i couldnt catch my breath and that wave of instant fear swept over me and i just took a slow deep breath walked to my porch door and opened it and let the cold air hit me, and realized i was having the start of an anxiety attack and was able to thwart it ( Thank God). I know this is because of the bad news because it happened when someone else i knew and cared about, passed away last summer. Do you find this happening to you when you get bad news? I will be happy when it all passes. This stuff never happened to me before when i had mild cf and very minimal problems. Now that things have changed over the years with my health, i find when i lose someone close to me, it forces me to think of stuff i want to NOT think about and not have to face yet. Especially after hearing that the fungus ball in my lung has grown rather than shrink last month, this is putting horrible thoughts in my mind about what will happen if the fungus ball continues to grow. OK im going to shut up now. before i get myself all worked up again.
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>Diane</b></i>
Do you find this happening to you when you get bad news? </end quote></div>
It did when I was 9 and I first came to terms with my CF. My CF is very mild, but since that age I've known the realities of this disease. But since I understood what this disease entails and embraced it in a <i> realistic fashion </i> (which doesn't seem so common on this site....), I'm ok with it.
I had a friend with CF die in 2006 that i've known all my life... I didn't freak because she has CF. So she died. I have CF. I will die. I never subscribed to the "I'm going to be the exception and I won't die but everyone else will" outlook.
People yell and scream at me on this site for giving a realistic view of this disease. "How do I get lung function back?" as if every other CFer's experience with this disease doesn't apply to them. If you could get your damn lung function back then no one would ever lose lung function. Denial is rampant. But the sooner you get it, the better off your life will be.
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote> This stuff never happened to me before when i had mild cf and very minimal problems. Now that things have changed over the years with my health, i find when i lose someone close to me, it forces me to think of stuff i want to NOT think about and not have to face yet. </end quote></div>
I have extremely mild CF but I was fortunate enough to be raised in a realistic view of this disease. If CF has killed everyone who has had it in the history of humans (except for car accidents, cancer, and other things but you get the point), then why would I be the only exception?
So I'm sorry you're coming to terms with this disease so late in your life. It's a slap in the face. But the sooner you realize that you too will die of CF, the sooner you can get over it and live the rest of your life.
Do you find this happening to you when you get bad news? </end quote></div>
It did when I was 9 and I first came to terms with my CF. My CF is very mild, but since that age I've known the realities of this disease. But since I understood what this disease entails and embraced it in a <i> realistic fashion </i> (which doesn't seem so common on this site....), I'm ok with it.
I had a friend with CF die in 2006 that i've known all my life... I didn't freak because she has CF. So she died. I have CF. I will die. I never subscribed to the "I'm going to be the exception and I won't die but everyone else will" outlook.
People yell and scream at me on this site for giving a realistic view of this disease. "How do I get lung function back?" as if every other CFer's experience with this disease doesn't apply to them. If you could get your damn lung function back then no one would ever lose lung function. Denial is rampant. But the sooner you get it, the better off your life will be.
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote> This stuff never happened to me before when i had mild cf and very minimal problems. Now that things have changed over the years with my health, i find when i lose someone close to me, it forces me to think of stuff i want to NOT think about and not have to face yet. </end quote></div>
I have extremely mild CF but I was fortunate enough to be raised in a realistic view of this disease. If CF has killed everyone who has had it in the history of humans (except for car accidents, cancer, and other things but you get the point), then why would I be the only exception?
So I'm sorry you're coming to terms with this disease so late in your life. It's a slap in the face. But the sooner you realize that you too will die of CF, the sooner you can get over it and live the rest of your life.
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>Diane</b></i>
Do you find this happening to you when you get bad news? </end quote></div>
It did when I was 9 and I first came to terms with my CF. My CF is very mild, but since that age I've known the realities of this disease. But since I understood what this disease entails and embraced it in a <i> realistic fashion </i> (which doesn't seem so common on this site....), I'm ok with it.
I had a friend with CF die in 2006 that i've known all my life... I didn't freak because she has CF. So she died. I have CF. I will die. I never subscribed to the "I'm going to be the exception and I won't die but everyone else will" outlook.
People yell and scream at me on this site for giving a realistic view of this disease. "How do I get lung function back?" as if every other CFer's experience with this disease doesn't apply to them. If you could get your damn lung function back then no one would ever lose lung function. Denial is rampant. But the sooner you get it, the better off your life will be.
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote> This stuff never happened to me before when i had mild cf and very minimal problems. Now that things have changed over the years with my health, i find when i lose someone close to me, it forces me to think of stuff i want to NOT think about and not have to face yet. </end quote></div>
I have extremely mild CF but I was fortunate enough to be raised in a realistic view of this disease. If CF has killed everyone who has had it in the history of humans (except for car accidents, cancer, and other things but you get the point), then why would I be the only exception?
So I'm sorry you're coming to terms with this disease so late in your life. It's a slap in the face. But the sooner you realize that you too will die of CF, the sooner you can get over it and live the rest of your life.
Do you find this happening to you when you get bad news? </end quote></div>
It did when I was 9 and I first came to terms with my CF. My CF is very mild, but since that age I've known the realities of this disease. But since I understood what this disease entails and embraced it in a <i> realistic fashion </i> (which doesn't seem so common on this site....), I'm ok with it.
I had a friend with CF die in 2006 that i've known all my life... I didn't freak because she has CF. So she died. I have CF. I will die. I never subscribed to the "I'm going to be the exception and I won't die but everyone else will" outlook.
People yell and scream at me on this site for giving a realistic view of this disease. "How do I get lung function back?" as if every other CFer's experience with this disease doesn't apply to them. If you could get your damn lung function back then no one would ever lose lung function. Denial is rampant. But the sooner you get it, the better off your life will be.
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote> This stuff never happened to me before when i had mild cf and very minimal problems. Now that things have changed over the years with my health, i find when i lose someone close to me, it forces me to think of stuff i want to NOT think about and not have to face yet. </end quote></div>
I have extremely mild CF but I was fortunate enough to be raised in a realistic view of this disease. If CF has killed everyone who has had it in the history of humans (except for car accidents, cancer, and other things but you get the point), then why would I be the only exception?
So I'm sorry you're coming to terms with this disease so late in your life. It's a slap in the face. But the sooner you realize that you too will die of CF, the sooner you can get over it and live the rest of your life.
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>Diane</b></i>
Do you find this happening to you when you get bad news? </end quote></div>
It did when I was 9 and I first came to terms with my CF. My CF is very mild, but since that age I've known the realities of this disease. But since I understood what this disease entails and embraced it in a <i> realistic fashion </i> (which doesn't seem so common on this site....), I'm ok with it.
I had a friend with CF die in 2006 that i've known all my life... I didn't freak because she has CF. So she died. I have CF. I will die. I never subscribed to the "I'm going to be the exception and I won't die but everyone else will" outlook.
People yell and scream at me on this site for giving a realistic view of this disease. "How do I get lung function back?" as if every other CFer's experience with this disease doesn't apply to them. If you could get your damn lung function back then no one would ever lose lung function. Denial is rampant. But the sooner you get it, the better off your life will be.
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote> This stuff never happened to me before when i had mild cf and very minimal problems. Now that things have changed over the years with my health, i find when i lose someone close to me, it forces me to think of stuff i want to NOT think about and not have to face yet. </end quote></div>
I have extremely mild CF but I was fortunate enough to be raised in a realistic view of this disease. If CF has killed everyone who has had it in the history of humans (except for car accidents, cancer, and other things but you get the point), then why would I be the only exception?
So I'm sorry you're coming to terms with this disease so late in your life. It's a slap in the face. But the sooner you realize that you too will die of CF, the sooner you can get over it and live the rest of your life.
Do you find this happening to you when you get bad news? </end quote></div>
It did when I was 9 and I first came to terms with my CF. My CF is very mild, but since that age I've known the realities of this disease. But since I understood what this disease entails and embraced it in a <i> realistic fashion </i> (which doesn't seem so common on this site....), I'm ok with it.
I had a friend with CF die in 2006 that i've known all my life... I didn't freak because she has CF. So she died. I have CF. I will die. I never subscribed to the "I'm going to be the exception and I won't die but everyone else will" outlook.
People yell and scream at me on this site for giving a realistic view of this disease. "How do I get lung function back?" as if every other CFer's experience with this disease doesn't apply to them. If you could get your damn lung function back then no one would ever lose lung function. Denial is rampant. But the sooner you get it, the better off your life will be.
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote> This stuff never happened to me before when i had mild cf and very minimal problems. Now that things have changed over the years with my health, i find when i lose someone close to me, it forces me to think of stuff i want to NOT think about and not have to face yet. </end quote></div>
I have extremely mild CF but I was fortunate enough to be raised in a realistic view of this disease. If CF has killed everyone who has had it in the history of humans (except for car accidents, cancer, and other things but you get the point), then why would I be the only exception?
So I'm sorry you're coming to terms with this disease so late in your life. It's a slap in the face. But the sooner you realize that you too will die of CF, the sooner you can get over it and live the rest of your life.
I can totally relate to you right now, I've had small 'anxiety attacks' since I can't breathe well, I can't take deep breaths sometimes I'll be short of breath and then I start to freak out and it gets worse, I think it is harder to handle things when your health isn't at it's best. I'm sorry to hear about your fungus ball I was really hoping that it would shrink.
Don't know if I made any sense, just that I know how you feel right now, I've never experienced these attacks before, but with my health the way it is right now I am. I just try my hardest to stay positive and only think good thoughts.
Don't know if I made any sense, just that I know how you feel right now, I've never experienced these attacks before, but with my health the way it is right now I am. I just try my hardest to stay positive and only think good thoughts.
I can totally relate to you right now, I've had small 'anxiety attacks' since I can't breathe well, I can't take deep breaths sometimes I'll be short of breath and then I start to freak out and it gets worse, I think it is harder to handle things when your health isn't at it's best. I'm sorry to hear about your fungus ball I was really hoping that it would shrink.
Don't know if I made any sense, just that I know how you feel right now, I've never experienced these attacks before, but with my health the way it is right now I am. I just try my hardest to stay positive and only think good thoughts.
Don't know if I made any sense, just that I know how you feel right now, I've never experienced these attacks before, but with my health the way it is right now I am. I just try my hardest to stay positive and only think good thoughts.
I can totally relate to you right now, I've had small 'anxiety attacks' since I can't breathe well, I can't take deep breaths sometimes I'll be short of breath and then I start to freak out and it gets worse, I think it is harder to handle things when your health isn't at it's best. I'm sorry to hear about your fungus ball I was really hoping that it would shrink.
Don't know if I made any sense, just that I know how you feel right now, I've never experienced these attacks before, but with my health the way it is right now I am. I just try my hardest to stay positive and only think good thoughts.
Don't know if I made any sense, just that I know how you feel right now, I've never experienced these attacks before, but with my health the way it is right now I am. I just try my hardest to stay positive and only think good thoughts.
I'm sorry to hear about your loss. Death is never an easy thing to deal with, but deal we must. I just found out my daughter has cf about a year ago. I was pretty able to accept the dying part of the disease, but none of my family has really gotten it. Most days I am able to deal with it pretty well, but today I was told that my cousin passed away last night. I didn't know him very well, but it has been really eating away at me all day. I think it forces us to think of our own mortality (or in my case my daughter's) so I don't think it so odd that you would have a panic attack in response to death of a friend. The only advice I can offer is to talk about it and not hold it in and remember that time is the best healer along with prayer. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. I know that disease kills every day, but I believe God has a plan for all of us regardless of our physical ailments and living for that plan makes every day worthwhile.
I'm sorry to hear about your loss. Death is never an easy thing to deal with, but deal we must. I just found out my daughter has cf about a year ago. I was pretty able to accept the dying part of the disease, but none of my family has really gotten it. Most days I am able to deal with it pretty well, but today I was told that my cousin passed away last night. I didn't know him very well, but it has been really eating away at me all day. I think it forces us to think of our own mortality (or in my case my daughter's) so I don't think it so odd that you would have a panic attack in response to death of a friend. The only advice I can offer is to talk about it and not hold it in and remember that time is the best healer along with prayer. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. I know that disease kills every day, but I believe God has a plan for all of us regardless of our physical ailments and living for that plan makes every day worthwhile.
I'm sorry to hear about your loss. Death is never an easy thing to deal with, but deal we must. I just found out my daughter has cf about a year ago. I was pretty able to accept the dying part of the disease, but none of my family has really gotten it. Most days I am able to deal with it pretty well, but today I was told that my cousin passed away last night. I didn't know him very well, but it has been really eating away at me all day. I think it forces us to think of our own mortality (or in my case my daughter's) so I don't think it so odd that you would have a panic attack in response to death of a friend. The only advice I can offer is to talk about it and not hold it in and remember that time is the best healer along with prayer. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. I know that disease kills every day, but I believe God has a plan for all of us regardless of our physical ailments and living for that plan makes every day worthwhile.
when my friend Beth died from a car accident...I went through a stage(I still am I guess) where I'd think it should have been me instead of her. We all have to realize we're going to die from this...but just because we are going to die doesnt mean we cant live a really great life.
Also...my family (besides my mom)...still after almost 21 years believes I'm going to live forever.
Also...my family (besides my mom)...still after almost 21 years believes I'm going to live forever.
when my friend Beth died from a car accident...I went through a stage(I still am I guess) where I'd think it should have been me instead of her. We all have to realize we're going to die from this...but just because we are going to die doesnt mean we cant live a really great life.
Also...my family (besides my mom)...still after almost 21 years believes I'm going to live forever.
Also...my family (besides my mom)...still after almost 21 years believes I'm going to live forever.
when my friend Beth died from a car accident...I went through a stage(I still am I guess) where I'd think it should have been me instead of her. We all have to realize we're going to die from this...but just because we are going to die doesnt mean we cant live a really great life.
Also...my family (besides my mom)...still after almost 21 years believes I'm going to live forever.
Also...my family (besides my mom)...still after almost 21 years believes I'm going to live forever.
Whenever I have lost anyone to death (no matter the cause) I would experience a bit of anxiety. I think its normal even if you dont have a chronic illness. Its a reality check and reminder of how short & fragile life can be. THAT being said I can also say that although its punches me in the face like no other death.....a CF death bothers me more for obvious reasons. I dont, however, go on with a daily worry of if/when it will happen for me. My approach I think is a balance. Do I want to die? No because I dont want to leave my family/friends in pain. Am I afraid of dying? No. Do I wonder how soon? Yes. Do I harp on that? No I dont go around everyday making sure my funeral plans are in order, but I am also not afraid to speak of it. IMHO speaking about it doesnt make it happen sooner or later. It just helps prepared everyone for the inevitable. As to your whole thought process Diane......I think its normal and healthy because for us to think it wont happen is foolish IMHO. Its just a matter of when in life with or without CF! That doesnt mean you should wake up every morning with a piss poor attitude~~~~~unless there is no coffee in the house then I can completely understand! LOL <b>Sorry for the lengthy post</b>
Whenever I have lost anyone to death (no matter the cause) I would experience a bit of anxiety. I think its normal even if you dont have a chronic illness. Its a reality check and reminder of how short & fragile life can be. THAT being said I can also say that although its punches me in the face like no other death.....a CF death bothers me more for obvious reasons. I dont, however, go on with a daily worry of if/when it will happen for me. My approach I think is a balance. Do I want to die? No because I dont want to leave my family/friends in pain. Am I afraid of dying? No. Do I wonder how soon? Yes. Do I harp on that? No I dont go around everyday making sure my funeral plans are in order, but I am also not afraid to speak of it. IMHO speaking about it doesnt make it happen sooner or later. It just helps prepared everyone for the inevitable. As to your whole thought process Diane......I think its normal and healthy because for us to think it wont happen is foolish IMHO. Its just a matter of when in life with or without CF! That doesnt mean you should wake up every morning with a piss poor attitude~~~~~unless there is no coffee in the house then I can completely understand! LOL <b>Sorry for the lengthy post</b>
Whenever I have lost anyone to death (no matter the cause) I would experience a bit of anxiety. I think its normal even if you dont have a chronic illness. Its a reality check and reminder of how short & fragile life can be. THAT being said I can also say that although its punches me in the face like no other death.....a CF death bothers me more for obvious reasons. I dont, however, go on with a daily worry of if/when it will happen for me. My approach I think is a balance. Do I want to die? No because I dont want to leave my family/friends in pain. Am I afraid of dying? No. Do I wonder how soon? Yes. Do I harp on that? No I dont go around everyday making sure my funeral plans are in order, but I am also not afraid to speak of it. IMHO speaking about it doesnt make it happen sooner or later. It just helps prepared everyone for the inevitable. As to your whole thought process Diane......I think its normal and healthy because for us to think it wont happen is foolish IMHO. Its just a matter of when in life with or without CF! That doesnt mean you should wake up every morning with a piss poor attitude~~~~~unless there is no coffee in the house then I can completely understand! LOL <b>Sorry for the lengthy post</b>
I think anyone can have this type of anxiety when faced with death. My father had bouts of anxiety as it became harder for him to breath. He would get so worked up he was working against himself. Once he did die, my sister in law had actual anxiety attacks (my father's death and her own family issues brought them on). She actually sought medical help and received treatment for her anxiety. She's 1000 times better. If the anxiety is getting in the way of your life, you need to talk with someone and get help for it. Don't let this kind of fear get in the way of living.
AmyO
AmyO
I think anyone can have this type of anxiety when faced with death. My father had bouts of anxiety as it became harder for him to breath. He would get so worked up he was working against himself. Once he did die, my sister in law had actual anxiety attacks (my father's death and her own family issues brought them on). She actually sought medical help and received treatment for her anxiety. She's 1000 times better. If the anxiety is getting in the way of your life, you need to talk with someone and get help for it. Don't let this kind of fear get in the way of living.
AmyO
AmyO