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6
65rosessamurai
Guest
Escape from "Care Bear Land
For all of you who understood the message, thank you for your time to read through it (and even post). It was pleasant to know my message got through to most of you.
Risa, thank you for the suggestion for a Blog, but I personally don't have interest in doing something like that.
As for those of you who had an 800 lb. gorilla in their way, I suggest you move it out of the way to re-read what my message was to answer your question, because what I wrote was clear to a large number of those who had posted.
Amy, I wasn't born yesterday, and i didn't CHOOSE to live in this country...though I question WHY you included that in the sentence for the statement you were trying to make.
I know that nothing is 100% flawless. And, sometimes the bad outweighs the good. I won't go too in detail with my marriage/divorce, but that experience, and the work experience I had here had taught me the lesson on how to balance good (pros) and bad (cons) to decide whether something is worth continuing with or not. When I came to Japan (Yes, I'm mentioning Japan, again) and was already in a company after three years, I had a lot of trouble and wanted to leave to find another job, but that was when I realized that every company has their good and bad points, and some of the bad points have to be accepted, or to move on. In the past, I was easily discouraged by work-related problems and wanted to quit, but never had any "roots" in a company.
My marriage was off on the wrong foot from the start...coming to this country was part of the package, and I was decieved into believing there was proper treatment here, along with other marital problems...after ten years of marriage, I had to balance the good (very little "good" in my marriage, perhaps the word is "balance the sacrifices") with the bad in the marriage and I ended up having to choose making a request for divorce. Well, my health was going downhill primarily due to the ex-wife, and I had to decide which was more to my benefit, and I chose to take the path of divorce, because of so many factors involved.
I had then learned the next lesson in my life...do what I can to change the things I can for the better of myself, and let go of what I cannot change. "Letting go" may include not being involved anymore, but that is my choice.
I didn't post to be felt sorry for, I posted because I was fed up with the lack of proper protocol, and mutual respect that had been increasing on this forum. I felt is was something to point out, because some others couldn't seem to find the words to say the same. I also hoped with by taking a break, maybe enough realization to those reading my post would have a little influence on how the posts may change in the future.
I, like you, have also learned a lot, yet I feel I have (perhaps you have, too) been able to contribute to teaching (or helping) as well.
As for the handling of conflict, human nature is also 'those who get too much conflict eventually cannot handle it'.
And, human nature is separate from human relation. Human relation is the ability to relate to others in a polite (or inpolite) manner, and with that, being able to have a large surrounding of friends (or be alone). Human nature would just be how someone would "habitually" react to someone elses human behavior.
For this forum to show a little more "family" or "Friendliness", less human nature, and more human relation would be apropriate.
If this is unclear, I can explain it in a different language.
For all of you who understood the message, thank you for your time to read through it (and even post). It was pleasant to know my message got through to most of you.
Risa, thank you for the suggestion for a Blog, but I personally don't have interest in doing something like that.
As for those of you who had an 800 lb. gorilla in their way, I suggest you move it out of the way to re-read what my message was to answer your question, because what I wrote was clear to a large number of those who had posted.
Amy, I wasn't born yesterday, and i didn't CHOOSE to live in this country...though I question WHY you included that in the sentence for the statement you were trying to make.
I know that nothing is 100% flawless. And, sometimes the bad outweighs the good. I won't go too in detail with my marriage/divorce, but that experience, and the work experience I had here had taught me the lesson on how to balance good (pros) and bad (cons) to decide whether something is worth continuing with or not. When I came to Japan (Yes, I'm mentioning Japan, again) and was already in a company after three years, I had a lot of trouble and wanted to leave to find another job, but that was when I realized that every company has their good and bad points, and some of the bad points have to be accepted, or to move on. In the past, I was easily discouraged by work-related problems and wanted to quit, but never had any "roots" in a company.
My marriage was off on the wrong foot from the start...coming to this country was part of the package, and I was decieved into believing there was proper treatment here, along with other marital problems...after ten years of marriage, I had to balance the good (very little "good" in my marriage, perhaps the word is "balance the sacrifices") with the bad in the marriage and I ended up having to choose making a request for divorce. Well, my health was going downhill primarily due to the ex-wife, and I had to decide which was more to my benefit, and I chose to take the path of divorce, because of so many factors involved.
I had then learned the next lesson in my life...do what I can to change the things I can for the better of myself, and let go of what I cannot change. "Letting go" may include not being involved anymore, but that is my choice.
I didn't post to be felt sorry for, I posted because I was fed up with the lack of proper protocol, and mutual respect that had been increasing on this forum. I felt is was something to point out, because some others couldn't seem to find the words to say the same. I also hoped with by taking a break, maybe enough realization to those reading my post would have a little influence on how the posts may change in the future.
I, like you, have also learned a lot, yet I feel I have (perhaps you have, too) been able to contribute to teaching (or helping) as well.
As for the handling of conflict, human nature is also 'those who get too much conflict eventually cannot handle it'.
And, human nature is separate from human relation. Human relation is the ability to relate to others in a polite (or inpolite) manner, and with that, being able to have a large surrounding of friends (or be alone). Human nature would just be how someone would "habitually" react to someone elses human behavior.
For this forum to show a little more "family" or "Friendliness", less human nature, and more human relation would be apropriate.
If this is unclear, I can explain it in a different language.
Escape from "Care Bear Land
Fred, maybe some of the problems with the wife stemed from her not knowing the difference between feet and yards within that phrase "The woman should walk 5 feet behind the man (or is it 10 feet?)" in Japan, due to the problems between metric and standard conversion? Just a thought.
Garyhairycheese
Fred, maybe some of the problems with the wife stemed from her not knowing the difference between feet and yards within that phrase "The woman should walk 5 feet behind the man (or is it 10 feet?)" in Japan, due to the problems between metric and standard conversion? Just a thought.
Garyhairycheese
Escape from
you didn't chose to live in Japan? who handcuffed you and forced you to go over there?
it was just a weird coincidence that i included that in my statement... guess cuz i've been reading posts about people possibly moving abroad and I myself have been debating with my BF if I should move back to his home country with him.
you didn't chose to live in Japan? who handcuffed you and forced you to go over there?
it was just a weird coincidence that i included that in my statement... guess cuz i've been reading posts about people possibly moving abroad and I myself have been debating with my BF if I should move back to his home country with him.
kayleesgrandma
New member
Escape from
A calm voice of reason drifted over the site like a breath of fresh air. What ho--it's 65rosessamurai--he's back! I really wish you'd change your mind about a blog. You could keep us posted on you and your health. Have you found another job yet? Didn't you tell us you're re-married and happy? I loved the pics of you deciding to shave the beard. We could view these in a blog, and new people could get to know you. In the least, please continue to contribute in your own calm, thoughtful, and reasonable way.
A calm voice of reason drifted over the site like a breath of fresh air. What ho--it's 65rosessamurai--he's back! I really wish you'd change your mind about a blog. You could keep us posted on you and your health. Have you found another job yet? Didn't you tell us you're re-married and happy? I loved the pics of you deciding to shave the beard. We could view these in a blog, and new people could get to know you. In the least, please continue to contribute in your own calm, thoughtful, and reasonable way.
6
65rosessamurai
Guest
Escape from "Care Bear Land
I made the mistake of taking your point of my choice of which country to live in, with my point of having the choice made between accepting rude behaviour, and negativity on this board.
However, I will answer your question, but given the fact you are considering the possibility of living in another country, I will describe to you the scenario of the circumstances I was given to come here.
The scenario goes like this: You love your bf very much, and he asks you to marry him, but you have to agree to come to his country. Also, if you decide you want to return to your own homeland, you have to divorce him, because he has no wish to live in your country. You ask him to check out the availability of CF care for you in his country, and he comes back to tell you not to worry. With total trust in his words, you come to the country to find out that: 1. There really was NO CF care in his country. 2. Years down the road, you realize he wasn't kidding about divorcing if you want to go back to your homeland and want to take him with you. 3. In the end, he states that if your health fails, and you have to be hospitalized, he won't stand by your side, but instead, file for divorce.
I will admit, as far as having a choice of which country to live in, I did have a choice in the matter, which I cannot deny. However, I also was in love with a woman who made my choice more difficult to say no.
If we wanna be technical about the fact as to whether I was handcuffed, no. But, to say she was using a submissable weapon (that is to suggest being "PW'd"),Yes! I was an easy target for that in my younger days, but no more!
Now, to mention any advice as to living in another country, by not making the same mistake as I did, I would recommend doing an internet search, etc. to see if there is such proper support for CF care in that country, as well as what kind of insurance, etc. will be available. Unfortunately, there was no internet service available 14 years ago, it was all still a brand new idea then. Another way of stating it, "when I was your age, we had nothing but a green coloured cursor flashing on the black screen, and we had to use 7 1/4 inch disks to save our data on!"
As for the reply to "Kayleesgrandma", it depends on what my circumstances will be in the near future to decide whether i want to start a blog. As stated, I don't have much interest in one right now.
I made the mistake of taking your point of my choice of which country to live in, with my point of having the choice made between accepting rude behaviour, and negativity on this board.
However, I will answer your question, but given the fact you are considering the possibility of living in another country, I will describe to you the scenario of the circumstances I was given to come here.
The scenario goes like this: You love your bf very much, and he asks you to marry him, but you have to agree to come to his country. Also, if you decide you want to return to your own homeland, you have to divorce him, because he has no wish to live in your country. You ask him to check out the availability of CF care for you in his country, and he comes back to tell you not to worry. With total trust in his words, you come to the country to find out that: 1. There really was NO CF care in his country. 2. Years down the road, you realize he wasn't kidding about divorcing if you want to go back to your homeland and want to take him with you. 3. In the end, he states that if your health fails, and you have to be hospitalized, he won't stand by your side, but instead, file for divorce.
I will admit, as far as having a choice of which country to live in, I did have a choice in the matter, which I cannot deny. However, I also was in love with a woman who made my choice more difficult to say no.
If we wanna be technical about the fact as to whether I was handcuffed, no. But, to say she was using a submissable weapon (that is to suggest being "PW'd"),Yes! I was an easy target for that in my younger days, but no more!
Now, to mention any advice as to living in another country, by not making the same mistake as I did, I would recommend doing an internet search, etc. to see if there is such proper support for CF care in that country, as well as what kind of insurance, etc. will be available. Unfortunately, there was no internet service available 14 years ago, it was all still a brand new idea then. Another way of stating it, "when I was your age, we had nothing but a green coloured cursor flashing on the black screen, and we had to use 7 1/4 inch disks to save our data on!"
As for the reply to "Kayleesgrandma", it depends on what my circumstances will be in the near future to decide whether i want to start a blog. As stated, I don't have much interest in one right now.
kayleesgrandma
New member
Escape from
OK, hope your taking care of yourself and come around back to us once in a while. Thanks for letting us know you're still around.
OK, hope your taking care of yourself and come around back to us once in a while. Thanks for letting us know you're still around.
Escape from "Care Bear Land
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>65rosessamurai</b></i>
I will admit, as far as having a choice of which country to live in, I did have a choice in the matter, which I cannot deny. </end quote></div>
Amy, I wasn't born yesterday, and i didn't CHOOSE to live in this country - previous post
Which one is it?
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>65rosessamurai</b></i>
I will admit, as far as having a choice of which country to live in, I did have a choice in the matter, which I cannot deny. </end quote></div>
Amy, I wasn't born yesterday, and i didn't CHOOSE to live in this country - previous post
Which one is it?
Escape from "Care Bear Land
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>65rosessamurai</b></i>
"when I was your age, we had nothing but a green coloured cursor flashing on the black screen, and we had to use 7 1/4 inch disks to save our data on!"
.</end quote></div>
they were 5 1/4 inch disks and I used them as well 14 years ago <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>65rosessamurai</b></i>
"when I was your age, we had nothing but a green coloured cursor flashing on the black screen, and we had to use 7 1/4 inch disks to save our data on!"
.</end quote></div>
they were 5 1/4 inch disks and I used them as well 14 years ago <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">
6
65rosessamurai
Guest
Escape from "Care Bear Land
Amy,
Not wanting to continue this any further, I will indicate that I had admitted to realizing that I did have a choice in the matter of coming to this country, no need to go any further with it.
As for the second post of yours, I was using a bit of what I saw as harmless sarcasm, laughing at myself for my age about the fact that I did not have internet use 14 years ago.
Floppy disk size came at the top of my head, and didn't think it was really that significant to be correct.
I was actually expecting some sort of acknowledgment to my suggestion if you intended on going to live outside your homeland, whether your reply would be positive or negative.
Amy,
Not wanting to continue this any further, I will indicate that I had admitted to realizing that I did have a choice in the matter of coming to this country, no need to go any further with it.
As for the second post of yours, I was using a bit of what I saw as harmless sarcasm, laughing at myself for my age about the fact that I did not have internet use 14 years ago.
Floppy disk size came at the top of my head, and didn't think it was really that significant to be correct.
I was actually expecting some sort of acknowledgment to my suggestion if you intended on going to live outside your homeland, whether your reply would be positive or negative.
Escape from "Care Bear Land
i am chiming in a little late to this topic but i have to say i am sad to see that you are thinking of leaving. i must be really in the dark, or maybe just lucky, because i seem to avoid the drama around here. i really don't even have a good idea of what you are talking about. overall, when i was reading your post i was thinking, if this is a CF forum, for CF topics (in the adult area, not off-topic obvioulsy) then what is there to gang up against each other about? it seems like most of the controvertial topics would be in the off-topic section and therefore easy enough to avoid entirely.
i wish that you could avoid what you didn't like about this site enough to stay.
laura, 27
i am chiming in a little late to this topic but i have to say i am sad to see that you are thinking of leaving. i must be really in the dark, or maybe just lucky, because i seem to avoid the drama around here. i really don't even have a good idea of what you are talking about. overall, when i was reading your post i was thinking, if this is a CF forum, for CF topics (in the adult area, not off-topic obvioulsy) then what is there to gang up against each other about? it seems like most of the controvertial topics would be in the off-topic section and therefore easy enough to avoid entirely.
i wish that you could avoid what you didn't like about this site enough to stay.
laura, 27
6
65rosessamurai
Guest
Escape from "Care Bear Land
Hi Laura.
I'm just making an observation to how the forum has changed since the time I have been a member, and how I feel about it. And, if you read clearly enough, you will notice it is CF related, because I started coming here for CF related support.
Anyway, thank you for your opinion, and your suggestion is duly noted.
Hi Laura.
I'm just making an observation to how the forum has changed since the time I have been a member, and how I feel about it. And, if you read clearly enough, you will notice it is CF related, because I started coming here for CF related support.
Anyway, thank you for your opinion, and your suggestion is duly noted.
candiebar76
New member
Escape from "Care Bear Land
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote>Noone else will because you are the only one in the room that sees a gorilla.
</end quote></div>
I am sure glad you said it because it was what I was thinking. I just didn't want to seem like I was one of the people he discribed in his letter. However, I kind of took the last part about Julie to do the very thing he was making a statement against. Maybe it was just me.
I have only been on the forum a few weeks and for the most part haven't had any issues with peoples comments or behavior. I do not find it at all offensive when people post things that seem supervulous or vindictive because I deal with drama all the time and you have to learn to shut things out. I have always tried to choose my battles carefully and rude comments from people you have never met doesn't seem a battle worth fighting.
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote>Noone else will because you are the only one in the room that sees a gorilla.
</end quote></div>
I am sure glad you said it because it was what I was thinking. I just didn't want to seem like I was one of the people he discribed in his letter. However, I kind of took the last part about Julie to do the very thing he was making a statement against. Maybe it was just me.
I have only been on the forum a few weeks and for the most part haven't had any issues with peoples comments or behavior. I do not find it at all offensive when people post things that seem supervulous or vindictive because I deal with drama all the time and you have to learn to shut things out. I have always tried to choose my battles carefully and rude comments from people you have never met doesn't seem a battle worth fighting.
Escape from "Care Bear Land
LOL, samurai, i wasn't saying you shouldn't have posted where you did. i was trying to say that i have a hard time understanding why all of the so-called controvertial topics (i thought) have wound up in the adult section when the questions there shouldn't be too much to debate on, is all. <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0"> sorry if you misunderstood.
laura
LOL, samurai, i wasn't saying you shouldn't have posted where you did. i was trying to say that i have a hard time understanding why all of the so-called controvertial topics (i thought) have wound up in the adult section when the questions there shouldn't be too much to debate on, is all. <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0"> sorry if you misunderstood.
laura
6
65rosessamurai
Guest
Escape from
Amy, read Jeannes "word to the wise" post!
It's comments like this that fuels someones dislike for someone else, as well as wanting to lower themselves to the same level and wanting to "backlash", in defense.
My measurement of taking a break from the forum is MY measurement, not yours.
READ Jeannes post!
Amy, read Jeannes "word to the wise" post!
It's comments like this that fuels someones dislike for someone else, as well as wanting to lower themselves to the same level and wanting to "backlash", in defense.
My measurement of taking a break from the forum is MY measurement, not yours.
READ Jeannes post!
thelizardqueen
New member
Escape from
Just let it go. You're really bickering over nothing. But what do I know - I'm just jumping in the middle of things where I probably don't belong.<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif" border="0">
Just let it go. You're really bickering over nothing. But what do I know - I'm just jumping in the middle of things where I probably don't belong.<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif" border="0">
6
65rosessamurai
Guest
Escape from
Now, this is just becoming a waste of my time.
Now, this is just becoming a waste of my time.