Scarlett81
New member
I have to agree with Melissa and Lindsey. I suspect that her leaving was more than what was said that day-I think maybe that particular conversation was a final straw for her, or in other words a reason for her to take a break. She's a big girl, and if she wants to take a break I think that is her decision. She has never been a person to back down if someone says something she disagrees with. I think somewhere in her wanted to go. That DOES NOT mean that I wanted her to go! I'd love for her to come back, she was a valuable member of this community.
I can't speak for anyone else but myself, and there was once instance I remember that kind of reminds me of what happened with her a few days ago here-There was a time on this site when I was trying to decide if I should proceed with getting pregnant, or try to adopt instead. I got varied advice and opinions from all. Obiovusly, we made our decision and I am pregnant now. Later I found out that Allie was under the impression that I was anti-adoption. I don't want anyone to think she was mean to me, she wasn't. She just drifted from me, and we talked less. Then when I confronted her about that, she said she the above to me. Well, that couldn't be further from the truth-I was adopted, I love the idea of adoption. I just didn't chose that for my family right now. But the point I'm trying to make is-why did she assume that? B/c she is sensitive. And the other point is, I had through that whole time expressed admiration for her, for her as a mother, as a wife, ect. I always pmd her, trying to console or encourage her. Never ONCE did I say anything negative about her adoption of Ahava or adoption period. In the end we talked things out and were fine. I have great admiration for her, and I always have. I consider her a huge part of this site. But there was a time that she seriously misjudged me-esp when I had never shown her anything but kindness and admiration. I just didn't get it. And this Santa debate-God Allie, I'm so sorry to say this-but it reminds me of that.
So to answer your question, jjflash, yes I have expressed my pride and admiration for her-alot of people here have. But I can't pass judgement on anyone here that is being accused of driving her away. I don't really believe it. I'm sorry if that hurts anyone, I dont' mean it to, honestly. I mean look at Terri-all this controversy around her. I have never known Terri to be anything other than a kind, gentle person. Let her record speak for itself.
This doesn't take away from anything that Allie has been through-she has been to hell and back. She has suffered, she is still suffering and has gone through a pain that you just can't ever really recover from. I really want her to find some peace. She'll never forget Ry or what happened, never. But she can find peace and happiness still in life. I really wish that for her. But she has to find it-no one can give it to her. And people mean well-but they won't always say the "right" thing. Or be thinking-I'm talking to a widow here, I better gentle-up my words. Esp because Allie seems so strong sometimes. But I don't think anyone has been malicious. But again-I was not a member of the discussion the other day so I don't know.
Regardless of all this-Allie, you are missed. You are valuable, I have told you a dozen times how proud I am of you, how in my eyes you are a survivor. And that all still stands. If you want to, come back-but only if you really want to. Whatever you do-I hope you get that peace that you so deserve.
I can't speak for anyone else but myself, and there was once instance I remember that kind of reminds me of what happened with her a few days ago here-There was a time on this site when I was trying to decide if I should proceed with getting pregnant, or try to adopt instead. I got varied advice and opinions from all. Obiovusly, we made our decision and I am pregnant now. Later I found out that Allie was under the impression that I was anti-adoption. I don't want anyone to think she was mean to me, she wasn't. She just drifted from me, and we talked less. Then when I confronted her about that, she said she the above to me. Well, that couldn't be further from the truth-I was adopted, I love the idea of adoption. I just didn't chose that for my family right now. But the point I'm trying to make is-why did she assume that? B/c she is sensitive. And the other point is, I had through that whole time expressed admiration for her, for her as a mother, as a wife, ect. I always pmd her, trying to console or encourage her. Never ONCE did I say anything negative about her adoption of Ahava or adoption period. In the end we talked things out and were fine. I have great admiration for her, and I always have. I consider her a huge part of this site. But there was a time that she seriously misjudged me-esp when I had never shown her anything but kindness and admiration. I just didn't get it. And this Santa debate-God Allie, I'm so sorry to say this-but it reminds me of that.
So to answer your question, jjflash, yes I have expressed my pride and admiration for her-alot of people here have. But I can't pass judgement on anyone here that is being accused of driving her away. I don't really believe it. I'm sorry if that hurts anyone, I dont' mean it to, honestly. I mean look at Terri-all this controversy around her. I have never known Terri to be anything other than a kind, gentle person. Let her record speak for itself.
This doesn't take away from anything that Allie has been through-she has been to hell and back. She has suffered, she is still suffering and has gone through a pain that you just can't ever really recover from. I really want her to find some peace. She'll never forget Ry or what happened, never. But she can find peace and happiness still in life. I really wish that for her. But she has to find it-no one can give it to her. And people mean well-but they won't always say the "right" thing. Or be thinking-I'm talking to a widow here, I better gentle-up my words. Esp because Allie seems so strong sometimes. But I don't think anyone has been malicious. But again-I was not a member of the discussion the other day so I don't know.
Regardless of all this-Allie, you are missed. You are valuable, I have told you a dozen times how proud I am of you, how in my eyes you are a survivor. And that all still stands. If you want to, come back-but only if you really want to. Whatever you do-I hope you get that peace that you so deserve.