Help/advice?

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blondelawyer

New member
I think that this is something that you need to really think about and decide what is going to work for you. I have been married to my husband with CF for over 8 years and he has recently been talking a lot about how he feels so bad about marrying me and "doing this to me", etc., etc. And I must say that it is really pissing me off. I understand that he feels bad that I have to deal with CF, but on the other hand, I decided to marry him knowing that he had CF, etc. It is obviously not the ideal situation, but it is what it is. So, I guess the point that I am making is that you need to decide whether you can deal with this. Your girl friend is apparently a very smart and level-headed person, so let her make her decision and if you can handle that, then you have your answer. If you are going to be feeling like you did something bad to her, etc., then really think about it. It is really hard for me to deal with that part of everything right now. Sorry, this is turning into a rant about my situation, so I think that I will leave that for the blog <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">

The point of my post, is that I agree with Allie--she put it very well.

And yes, the kid "factor" is a big issue that should discuss. We discussed it before we got married and continual discuss it. There are lots of options out there if you decide that you want to be parents--just getting to that decision is the hard part <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">

Good luck with your decision!
 
B

blondelawyer

New member
I think that this is something that you need to really think about and decide what is going to work for you. I have been married to my husband with CF for over 8 years and he has recently been talking a lot about how he feels so bad about marrying me and "doing this to me", etc., etc. And I must say that it is really pissing me off. I understand that he feels bad that I have to deal with CF, but on the other hand, I decided to marry him knowing that he had CF, etc. It is obviously not the ideal situation, but it is what it is. So, I guess the point that I am making is that you need to decide whether you can deal with this. Your girl friend is apparently a very smart and level-headed person, so let her make her decision and if you can handle that, then you have your answer. If you are going to be feeling like you did something bad to her, etc., then really think about it. It is really hard for me to deal with that part of everything right now. Sorry, this is turning into a rant about my situation, so I think that I will leave that for the blog <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">

The point of my post, is that I agree with Allie--she put it very well.

And yes, the kid "factor" is a big issue that should discuss. We discussed it before we got married and continual discuss it. There are lots of options out there if you decide that you want to be parents--just getting to that decision is the hard part <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">

Good luck with your decision!
 
B

blondelawyer

New member
I think that this is something that you need to really think about and decide what is going to work for you. I have been married to my husband with CF for over 8 years and he has recently been talking a lot about how he feels so bad about marrying me and "doing this to me", etc., etc. And I must say that it is really pissing me off. I understand that he feels bad that I have to deal with CF, but on the other hand, I decided to marry him knowing that he had CF, etc. It is obviously not the ideal situation, but it is what it is. So, I guess the point that I am making is that you need to decide whether you can deal with this. Your girl friend is apparently a very smart and level-headed person, so let her make her decision and if you can handle that, then you have your answer. If you are going to be feeling like you did something bad to her, etc., then really think about it. It is really hard for me to deal with that part of everything right now. Sorry, this is turning into a rant about my situation, so I think that I will leave that for the blog <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">

The point of my post, is that I agree with Allie--she put it very well.

And yes, the kid "factor" is a big issue that should discuss. We discussed it before we got married and continual discuss it. There are lots of options out there if you decide that you want to be parents--just getting to that decision is the hard part <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">

Good luck with your decision!
 
B

blondelawyer

New member
I think that this is something that you need to really think about and decide what is going to work for you. I have been married to my husband with CF for over 8 years and he has recently been talking a lot about how he feels so bad about marrying me and "doing this to me", etc., etc. And I must say that it is really pissing me off. I understand that he feels bad that I have to deal with CF, but on the other hand, I decided to marry him knowing that he had CF, etc. It is obviously not the ideal situation, but it is what it is. So, I guess the point that I am making is that you need to decide whether you can deal with this. Your girl friend is apparently a very smart and level-headed person, so let her make her decision and if you can handle that, then you have your answer. If you are going to be feeling like you did something bad to her, etc., then really think about it. It is really hard for me to deal with that part of everything right now. Sorry, this is turning into a rant about my situation, so I think that I will leave that for the blog <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">

The point of my post, is that I agree with Allie--she put it very well.

And yes, the kid "factor" is a big issue that should discuss. We discussed it before we got married and continual discuss it. There are lots of options out there if you decide that you want to be parents--just getting to that decision is the hard part <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">

Good luck with your decision!
 
N

NoExcuses

New member
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>CORVETTEMAN</b></i>

Dont listen to SAKAS$$$ person about being selfish if you have kids. He or she has issues that they are not dealing with and speaks out because they lack the humam emotions that one feels for wanting a child.


</end quote></div>

Oh my dear, I would suggest only commenting on what you know.

I don't lack the want for a child.

Unlike many, I just have the ability to use my brain to make decisions that go beyond my own personal wants and needs.

God forbid we think about what's best for a child instead of ourselves...

And for the record, I wasn't the only person who called a decision like yours selfish. But I appreciate your recognition. <img src="i/expressions/lips.gif" border="0">
 
N

NoExcuses

New member
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>CORVETTEMAN</b></i>

Dont listen to SAKAS$$$ person about being selfish if you have kids. He or she has issues that they are not dealing with and speaks out because they lack the humam emotions that one feels for wanting a child.


</end quote></div>

Oh my dear, I would suggest only commenting on what you know.

I don't lack the want for a child.

Unlike many, I just have the ability to use my brain to make decisions that go beyond my own personal wants and needs.

God forbid we think about what's best for a child instead of ourselves...

And for the record, I wasn't the only person who called a decision like yours selfish. But I appreciate your recognition. <img src="i/expressions/lips.gif" border="0">
 
N

NoExcuses

New member
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>CORVETTEMAN</b></i>

Dont listen to SAKAS$$$ person about being selfish if you have kids. He or she has issues that they are not dealing with and speaks out because they lack the humam emotions that one feels for wanting a child.


</end quote></div>

Oh my dear, I would suggest only commenting on what you know.

I don't lack the want for a child.

Unlike many, I just have the ability to use my brain to make decisions that go beyond my own personal wants and needs.

God forbid we think about what's best for a child instead of ourselves...

And for the record, I wasn't the only person who called a decision like yours selfish. But I appreciate your recognition. <img src="i/expressions/lips.gif" border="0">
 
N

NoExcuses

New member
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>CORVETTEMAN</b></i>

Dont listen to SAKAS$$$ person about being selfish if you have kids. He or she has issues that they are not dealing with and speaks out because they lack the humam emotions that one feels for wanting a child.


</end quote></div>

Oh my dear, I would suggest only commenting on what you know.

I don't lack the want for a child.

Unlike many, I just have the ability to use my brain to make decisions that go beyond my own personal wants and needs.

God forbid we think about what's best for a child instead of ourselves...

And for the record, I wasn't the only person who called a decision like yours selfish. But I appreciate your recognition. <img src="i/expressions/lips.gif" border="0">
 
N

NoExcuses

New member
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>CORVETTEMAN</b></i>

Dont listen to SAKAS$$$ person about being selfish if you have kids. He or she has issues that they are not dealing with and speaks out because they lack the humam emotions that one feels for wanting a child.


</end quote>

Oh my dear, I would suggest only commenting on what you know.

I don't lack the want for a child.

Unlike many, I just have the ability to use my brain to make decisions that go beyond my own personal wants and needs.

God forbid we think about what's best for a child instead of ourselves...

And for the record, I wasn't the only person who called a decision like yours selfish. But I appreciate your recognition. <img src="i/expressions/lips.gif" border="0">
 
N

NoExcuses

New member
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>CORVETTEMAN</b></i>

Dont listen to SAKAS$$$ person about being selfish if you have kids. He or she has issues that they are not dealing with and speaks out because they lack the humam emotions that one feels for wanting a child.


</end quote>

Oh my dear, I would suggest only commenting on what you know.

I don't lack the want for a child.

Unlike many, I just have the ability to use my brain to make decisions that go beyond my own personal wants and needs.

God forbid we think about what's best for a child instead of ourselves...

And for the record, I wasn't the only person who called a decision like yours selfish. But I appreciate your recognition. <img src="i/expressions/lips.gif" border="0">
 
A

amysmom

New member
I am Amy's Mom and I agree with her unpopular view regarding bringing a child into this world that you know you will not be able to give 100% to. Our children aren't here to take care of us. They're also not here to be 2nd in our life which they'd have to be because taking care of CF is so much work.

The decision is extremely painful but it's very selfish to have a child when you know the information ahead of time. If our goal is to do the ABSOLUTE best for a child, you wouldn't subject them to this. Of course children with a parent with CF says they love them (which they do) and wouldn't want to be without them. That's how children feel about their parents. To ask a child that with a CF parent doesn't address the issue.

The issue, in my opinion, is only what is the best for a child. A sick parent, especially the mother, is not the best.
 
A

amysmom

New member
I am Amy's Mom and I agree with her unpopular view regarding bringing a child into this world that you know you will not be able to give 100% to. Our children aren't here to take care of us. They're also not here to be 2nd in our life which they'd have to be because taking care of CF is so much work.

The decision is extremely painful but it's very selfish to have a child when you know the information ahead of time. If our goal is to do the ABSOLUTE best for a child, you wouldn't subject them to this. Of course children with a parent with CF says they love them (which they do) and wouldn't want to be without them. That's how children feel about their parents. To ask a child that with a CF parent doesn't address the issue.

The issue, in my opinion, is only what is the best for a child. A sick parent, especially the mother, is not the best.
 
A

amysmom

New member
I am Amy's Mom and I agree with her unpopular view regarding bringing a child into this world that you know you will not be able to give 100% to. Our children aren't here to take care of us. They're also not here to be 2nd in our life which they'd have to be because taking care of CF is so much work.

The decision is extremely painful but it's very selfish to have a child when you know the information ahead of time. If our goal is to do the ABSOLUTE best for a child, you wouldn't subject them to this. Of course children with a parent with CF says they love them (which they do) and wouldn't want to be without them. That's how children feel about their parents. To ask a child that with a CF parent doesn't address the issue.

The issue, in my opinion, is only what is the best for a child. A sick parent, especially the mother, is not the best.
 
A

amysmom

New member
I am Amy's Mom and I agree with her unpopular view regarding bringing a child into this world that you know you will not be able to give 100% to. Our children aren't here to take care of us. They're also not here to be 2nd in our life which they'd have to be because taking care of CF is so much work.

The decision is extremely painful but it's very selfish to have a child when you know the information ahead of time. If our goal is to do the ABSOLUTE best for a child, you wouldn't subject them to this. Of course children with a parent with CF says they love them (which they do) and wouldn't want to be without them. That's how children feel about their parents. To ask a child that with a CF parent doesn't address the issue.

The issue, in my opinion, is only what is the best for a child. A sick parent, especially the mother, is not the best.
 
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