Help me am i making the right decision?

M

mom2lillian

New member
Vampy-I want to give you advice on one thing you mentioned. You said that your son comes first and you and your treatments 2nd. As a new mom myself I must tell you that we haev to reconsider this. Putting ourselves 2nd, or more commonly last is something many many mothers in this country do and we all must stop! Other mothers may have the freedom to make this mistake and they will pay the price later but we as mothers with CF cannot afford to make this mistake.

You must learn to put yoruself first. Children are resilient ad will do just fine if they are not put 1st for the entire day. Think of it as being on an airplane. When you are in an emergency situation on an airplane you must put oxygen on yourself before the child becase you are the one that needs to be 'well' enough to take care of everything. Life is this way too. Take care of yourself first, if you dont unfortunately as a CF mom you wont be aroudn long enough to take care of him.

It is hard for me but I do this. I make time every day to do my treatments religiously and work out. My husband is usually home to help take up the slack but when he isnt she plays with one of her toys next to me and if she is cryign I try to make her happy but I dont stop the treatment because even if she cries for a while she will be fine (I make sure she has been fed and burped and such before I start). Please Vampy consider this way of thinking--tak care of yourself, make yourself a priority in all aspects of yoru life not jsut your treatments.
 
M

MCGrad2006

Guest
Oh and btw...Vampy....polyp surgery is relatively easy! You will be feeling so much better, nose might be bleeding a bit, but noit for long! Good Luck kiddo! <img src="i/expressions/present.gif" border="0">

And thank you to Mommy Terri...we love you! You are like a second mom to so many of us!! <img src="i/expressions/heart.gif" border="0">
 
M

MCGrad2006

Guest
Oh and btw...Vampy....polyp surgery is relatively easy! You will be feeling so much better, nose might be bleeding a bit, but noit for long! Good Luck kiddo! <img src="i/expressions/present.gif" border="0">

And thank you to Mommy Terri...we love you! You are like a second mom to so many of us!! <img src="i/expressions/heart.gif" border="0">
 
M

MCGrad2006

Guest
Oh and btw...Vampy....polyp surgery is relatively easy! You will be feeling so much better, nose might be bleeding a bit, but noit for long! Good Luck kiddo! <img src="i/expressions/present.gif" border="0">

And thank you to Mommy Terri...we love you! You are like a second mom to so many of us!! <img src="i/expressions/heart.gif" border="0">
 
J

julie

New member
Jennifer,
I've never signed my name JULIE RN. Someone who was posing as me did that, and that's when I decided to get a user name. I've never portrayed myself to be an RN. I have however likened my Hospital corpsman job to that of an RN, because we do the same work (blood draws, blood transfusions, IV's, sutures...), but I have NEVER said that I was an RN. I'm not sorry for what I said. I meant every word of it. She needs to quit being so selfish and immature. She's responsible for someone elses life right now and she can't be dicking around with it. That right there is the lowest of lows.

Sure, I'm aware a number of people didn't agree with my choice to get pregnant. But I never PLANNED to have 3 kids-there's a difference. ~~~It was clear to me (and a number of others on this site BTW) that Vampy was trying to get pregnant. She can deny it till she's blue in the face, but search some of her older posts.~~~~ It happened by the grace of God. BUT, because of that, times became very difficult on us, we planned for one, not 3. We spent over $15k to have them, about $4k more than we had budgeted it for, and that's why we fell on hard times.

Yes I have been on food stamps (am not currently) have NEVER I repeat NEVER been on welfare. Have always had a job to have income. Not that it makes a difference though. I'm not judging her for being at a point in her life where she needs assistance like that. Not at all. If she needs it, that is what it is there for. I am however disgusted at how she's acting like a child who just took posession of a toy (Lucas in this case) and doesn't want to give it up because it's HERS. How immature is that?

Education is nothing, and then it is everything. I'm no genius, I swear occasionally, I spell things incorrectly and I mess up my grammar. But when I can't come up with something of more substance than F*ck and Fuc**ng every few words, I ought to not speak. I know some very intelligent people who have never completed high school. That is not what this is about. This is about her declaring her own matureness, and then talking the way she did.

Janet, I see things from vampy's point of view. And I never would have let it get to that point if it was me. So she's trying to do things right now. Ok, good for her. That's a start. But she doesn't have a good track record. So a number of us are just trying to be realistic and not blow sunshine and roses up her A*s. Just because it isn't what SHE wants to hear, doesn't make it wrong. SHE ASKED A VERY open ended question, and it she wanted more specific answers, she should have been more concice about her question.
 
J

julie

New member
Jennifer,
I've never signed my name JULIE RN. Someone who was posing as me did that, and that's when I decided to get a user name. I've never portrayed myself to be an RN. I have however likened my Hospital corpsman job to that of an RN, because we do the same work (blood draws, blood transfusions, IV's, sutures...), but I have NEVER said that I was an RN. I'm not sorry for what I said. I meant every word of it. She needs to quit being so selfish and immature. She's responsible for someone elses life right now and she can't be dicking around with it. That right there is the lowest of lows.

Sure, I'm aware a number of people didn't agree with my choice to get pregnant. But I never PLANNED to have 3 kids-there's a difference. ~~~It was clear to me (and a number of others on this site BTW) that Vampy was trying to get pregnant. She can deny it till she's blue in the face, but search some of her older posts.~~~~ It happened by the grace of God. BUT, because of that, times became very difficult on us, we planned for one, not 3. We spent over $15k to have them, about $4k more than we had budgeted it for, and that's why we fell on hard times.

Yes I have been on food stamps (am not currently) have NEVER I repeat NEVER been on welfare. Have always had a job to have income. Not that it makes a difference though. I'm not judging her for being at a point in her life where she needs assistance like that. Not at all. If she needs it, that is what it is there for. I am however disgusted at how she's acting like a child who just took posession of a toy (Lucas in this case) and doesn't want to give it up because it's HERS. How immature is that?

Education is nothing, and then it is everything. I'm no genius, I swear occasionally, I spell things incorrectly and I mess up my grammar. But when I can't come up with something of more substance than F*ck and Fuc**ng every few words, I ought to not speak. I know some very intelligent people who have never completed high school. That is not what this is about. This is about her declaring her own matureness, and then talking the way she did.

Janet, I see things from vampy's point of view. And I never would have let it get to that point if it was me. So she's trying to do things right now. Ok, good for her. That's a start. But she doesn't have a good track record. So a number of us are just trying to be realistic and not blow sunshine and roses up her A*s. Just because it isn't what SHE wants to hear, doesn't make it wrong. SHE ASKED A VERY open ended question, and it she wanted more specific answers, she should have been more concice about her question.
 
J

julie

New member
Jennifer,
I've never signed my name JULIE RN. Someone who was posing as me did that, and that's when I decided to get a user name. I've never portrayed myself to be an RN. I have however likened my Hospital corpsman job to that of an RN, because we do the same work (blood draws, blood transfusions, IV's, sutures...), but I have NEVER said that I was an RN. I'm not sorry for what I said. I meant every word of it. She needs to quit being so selfish and immature. She's responsible for someone elses life right now and she can't be dicking around with it. That right there is the lowest of lows.

Sure, I'm aware a number of people didn't agree with my choice to get pregnant. But I never PLANNED to have 3 kids-there's a difference. ~~~It was clear to me (and a number of others on this site BTW) that Vampy was trying to get pregnant. She can deny it till she's blue in the face, but search some of her older posts.~~~~ It happened by the grace of God. BUT, because of that, times became very difficult on us, we planned for one, not 3. We spent over $15k to have them, about $4k more than we had budgeted it for, and that's why we fell on hard times.

Yes I have been on food stamps (am not currently) have NEVER I repeat NEVER been on welfare. Have always had a job to have income. Not that it makes a difference though. I'm not judging her for being at a point in her life where she needs assistance like that. Not at all. If she needs it, that is what it is there for. I am however disgusted at how she's acting like a child who just took posession of a toy (Lucas in this case) and doesn't want to give it up because it's HERS. How immature is that?

Education is nothing, and then it is everything. I'm no genius, I swear occasionally, I spell things incorrectly and I mess up my grammar. But when I can't come up with something of more substance than F*ck and Fuc**ng every few words, I ought to not speak. I know some very intelligent people who have never completed high school. That is not what this is about. This is about her declaring her own matureness, and then talking the way she did.

Janet, I see things from vampy's point of view. And I never would have let it get to that point if it was me. So she's trying to do things right now. Ok, good for her. That's a start. But she doesn't have a good track record. So a number of us are just trying to be realistic and not blow sunshine and roses up her A*s. Just because it isn't what SHE wants to hear, doesn't make it wrong. SHE ASKED A VERY open ended question, and it she wanted more specific answers, she should have been more concice about her question.
 
N

NoExcuses

New member
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>Allie</b></i>

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote>if anyone has a problem with me and what im going through and you want to sit there and type something as horrible as "adoption" or "grow up" then dont.</end quote></div>



I happily bit my tounge on this subject until you said this. Adoption is one of the most unselfish, mature things you can do. It's a realization that it is not ALL ABOUT YOU. That you don't have the finances, education or support to give a baby the absolute best life possible. No, adoption involves putting a baby before your own needs, wants and desires. You say you'd jump out of a plane for your kid, but you draw the line at giving him a shot at a stable life. Fine, whatever.



You say your mother made horrible choices, and you turned out fine. Being a 21 year old with no job or education to speak of, no prospects of such, an abusive husband...I'd reevaluate that statement. Unless, of course, you want the same for Lukas.



I don't care if you hate me for saying this, or anyone else for that matter. But I think you need to really think about what you're doing. And for heaven's sake, get on birth control.



Edited to add: Single parenting is not the issue here. At all. It's everything else in the equation.</end quote></div>



I am so happy that you responded Allie.... you said it so well...
 
N

NoExcuses

New member
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>Allie</b></i>

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote>if anyone has a problem with me and what im going through and you want to sit there and type something as horrible as "adoption" or "grow up" then dont.</end quote></div>



I happily bit my tounge on this subject until you said this. Adoption is one of the most unselfish, mature things you can do. It's a realization that it is not ALL ABOUT YOU. That you don't have the finances, education or support to give a baby the absolute best life possible. No, adoption involves putting a baby before your own needs, wants and desires. You say you'd jump out of a plane for your kid, but you draw the line at giving him a shot at a stable life. Fine, whatever.



You say your mother made horrible choices, and you turned out fine. Being a 21 year old with no job or education to speak of, no prospects of such, an abusive husband...I'd reevaluate that statement. Unless, of course, you want the same for Lukas.



I don't care if you hate me for saying this, or anyone else for that matter. But I think you need to really think about what you're doing. And for heaven's sake, get on birth control.



Edited to add: Single parenting is not the issue here. At all. It's everything else in the equation.</end quote></div>



I am so happy that you responded Allie.... you said it so well...
 
N

NoExcuses

New member
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>Allie</b></i>

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote>if anyone has a problem with me and what im going through and you want to sit there and type something as horrible as "adoption" or "grow up" then dont.</end quote></div>



I happily bit my tounge on this subject until you said this. Adoption is one of the most unselfish, mature things you can do. It's a realization that it is not ALL ABOUT YOU. That you don't have the finances, education or support to give a baby the absolute best life possible. No, adoption involves putting a baby before your own needs, wants and desires. You say you'd jump out of a plane for your kid, but you draw the line at giving him a shot at a stable life. Fine, whatever.



You say your mother made horrible choices, and you turned out fine. Being a 21 year old with no job or education to speak of, no prospects of such, an abusive husband...I'd reevaluate that statement. Unless, of course, you want the same for Lukas.



I don't care if you hate me for saying this, or anyone else for that matter. But I think you need to really think about what you're doing. And for heaven's sake, get on birth control.



Edited to add: Single parenting is not the issue here. At all. It's everything else in the equation.</end quote></div>



I am so happy that you responded Allie.... you said it so well...
 
N

NoExcuses

New member
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>Vampy</b></i>

and what im gonna say when my son asks me one day "wheres my daddy" and what can i say to him knowing what has all happened.

</end quote></div>

You can say I couldn't think of your feelings, only mine, so instead of giving you to a family that had a daddy, I kept you.
 
N

NoExcuses

New member
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>Vampy</b></i>

and what im gonna say when my son asks me one day "wheres my daddy" and what can i say to him knowing what has all happened.

</end quote></div>

You can say I couldn't think of your feelings, only mine, so instead of giving you to a family that had a daddy, I kept you.
 
N

NoExcuses

New member
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>Vampy</b></i>

and what im gonna say when my son asks me one day "wheres my daddy" and what can i say to him knowing what has all happened.

</end quote></div>

You can say I couldn't think of your feelings, only mine, so instead of giving you to a family that had a daddy, I kept you.
 
K

katyf13

New member
Vampy, I'm serious, if you need names, numbers, contact info for all types of support, I can find them for you. What state are you in? (You won't get judgement from me)
 
K

katyf13

New member
Vampy, I'm serious, if you need names, numbers, contact info for all types of support, I can find them for you. What state are you in? (You won't get judgement from me)
 
K

katyf13

New member
Vampy, I'm serious, if you need names, numbers, contact info for all types of support, I can find them for you. What state are you in? (You won't get judgement from me)
 
R

rotandroll

New member
Wow. Just wow. I can understand where some of you are coming from but I'm seriously saddened by the harshness and cruelty of some of these posts! Hurray for all of you willing to "call it like you see it" without sugar coating it... but come on.

This is obviously a community made to support only a select few of you. When someone is so down and out and feeling scared, sad and desperate, giving them a dose of cruel reality, or more so your opinion of what's going on in their life, probably makes things worst.

I can understand once and for all why this community remains so small, because of people with unkind intentions. It's too bad, too, if I've been here (quietly) for a few years and this is FINALLY what makes me never want to look at this site again, that means that I'm pretty tolerant with some of the things you people do here. It's simply sad and mean and congratulations on alienating another person from this "community".

Go ahead and bring on the posts about how if I can't handle the truth I shouldn't be here anyway, blah, blah, blah. I don't have any reason to check back on this site because time and time again it's just negativity from several key people. Let the flame wars go on!
 
R

rotandroll

New member
Wow. Just wow. I can understand where some of you are coming from but I'm seriously saddened by the harshness and cruelty of some of these posts! Hurray for all of you willing to "call it like you see it" without sugar coating it... but come on.

This is obviously a community made to support only a select few of you. When someone is so down and out and feeling scared, sad and desperate, giving them a dose of cruel reality, or more so your opinion of what's going on in their life, probably makes things worst.

I can understand once and for all why this community remains so small, because of people with unkind intentions. It's too bad, too, if I've been here (quietly) for a few years and this is FINALLY what makes me never want to look at this site again, that means that I'm pretty tolerant with some of the things you people do here. It's simply sad and mean and congratulations on alienating another person from this "community".

Go ahead and bring on the posts about how if I can't handle the truth I shouldn't be here anyway, blah, blah, blah. I don't have any reason to check back on this site because time and time again it's just negativity from several key people. Let the flame wars go on!
 
R

rotandroll

New member
Wow. Just wow. I can understand where some of you are coming from but I'm seriously saddened by the harshness and cruelty of some of these posts! Hurray for all of you willing to "call it like you see it" without sugar coating it... but come on.

This is obviously a community made to support only a select few of you. When someone is so down and out and feeling scared, sad and desperate, giving them a dose of cruel reality, or more so your opinion of what's going on in their life, probably makes things worst.

I can understand once and for all why this community remains so small, because of people with unkind intentions. It's too bad, too, if I've been here (quietly) for a few years and this is FINALLY what makes me never want to look at this site again, that means that I'm pretty tolerant with some of the things you people do here. It's simply sad and mean and congratulations on alienating another person from this "community".

Go ahead and bring on the posts about how if I can't handle the truth I shouldn't be here anyway, blah, blah, blah. I don't have any reason to check back on this site because time and time again it's just negativity from several key people. Let the flame wars go on!
 
6

65rosessamurai

Guest
Wish I had this kind of action when I was posting an "open end question" about "the run-around"!
Just thought I'd throw my two yen in again (Before this gets locked!)

I was also glad to see Allies post--she stated what I was thinking, anyway.
Though I also liked Mockingbirds input!
And, as for Julie's first post--I knew her meaning of "noun" was the usage of the bad language, not the optional use of more appropriate words. She was also being considerate in regards to the adoption suggestion--"Tough Love", as someone else referred it to.

Could I be seeing the high-end of maturity...or have I really gotten used to how people express themselves on this forum?!

Only problem here, who's Jerry Springer?! Heard the name, but that's all!

But, Vampy, (didn't have time to scroll down to your last post) it would be recommended to hear all that has been given to you, and take what you need, regard the rest. Though the hard lesson that is being taught to you is one I had learned nearly 14 years ago...you have to learn how to take advice and critizism you don't want to hear. I had a major problem with hearing criticsm because, perhaps, I had all that nice stuff blown in my direction for so long.
And, if you throw out negativity to those trying to help you, expect such consequences.
In conclusion, I also hope that things turn out for the best.
 
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